


Love or Lies

by banamas



Category: BESTie (Band), 크나큰 | KNK (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2017-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-10 13:12:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 125,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7846396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banamas/pseuds/banamas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Park Seungjun is an ordinary lit major with some extraordinary looks. Why shouldn't he use them to his advantage? After concocting the perfect plan to make some extra cash, Seungjun runs into a chance at his dream girl or... dream boy?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This Side of Brightness

**Author's Note:**

> I promise I'm working on my other stories too lmao...
> 
> The others will show up real soon too don't worry!

   Seungjun scooted his chair in closer to the girl next to him holding her phone out in front of them both. Trying to squeeze into the frame of her cell phone, he pressed his face to the brown highlights in her hair, barely resting his chin on her shoulder. Both holding up peace signs, their bright matching bracelets were the real focus in the photo she snapped. Seungjun leaned over her shoulder as she picked out the best filters to compliment them both and set it as her wallpaper. With a soft smile, Seungjun scooted his chair back and opened his laptop and textbook to get back to his studies. “A meetup will be double, but I’ll make it worth it for my girlfriend.” He chimed at the girl rummaging through her own things next to him. She pulled out a wallet and sifted through her money, pulling out a small wad of cash and handing it off to him. Seungjun took it with pleasure when he noticed the bracelet on his wrist still. Immediately, he slipped it off and pushed it onto the table before her. “I almost forgot.” He gleamed, though she looked a little disheartened. 

   “You mean you don’t want to keep it? I really don’t mind.” She batted her eyes a few times before looking away and holding the bracelet between her polished fingers. Seungjun on the other hand was already busy counting the money he received and pocketing it all. 

  He shook his head and awkwardly rejected her, “I don’t feel right taking gifts during deals, sorry…” Grabbing his pen and logging into his computer, he hardly looked her way anymore. “You should give something nice like that to a guy you actually like.” Ignoring the girl’s obvious disappointment, he waited until she finally left and disappeared from sight before he let out a tensed breath he held in. Leaning in his chair, he sprawled out with his head hanging off the back of the chair. It was always painfully awkward having to push these girls away, but they knew what they signed up for when they sought him out to be their fake boyfriend. 

   It had been about two months since Seungjun started this odd job. A girl approached him before the beginning of the semester and asked him for the favor, a simple photo to convince someone they were dating. It was a strange request, but she seemed so desperate that he couldn’t help agreeing. The funny story among his friends slowly grew to be a great idea for some quick cash. For any college student, a scheme like that seemed flawlessly brilliant. Since then, he’s gotten calls from at least ten other girls looking to use Seungjun’s photos as proof they were in a relationship to friends and family. And in such an environment obsessed with your relationship status as a college campus was, that kind of proof was good enough to boast with. A handful of times he’s even gone with his clients to group dates to really prove their false validity, though at a much more costly price. He didn’t think he was really that handsome, but if he could use his looks to his advantage then he didn’t see the harm in it. 

   Leaning forward, Seungjun stretched his limbs and went back to his notes, typing up a paper for one of his lit classes that he’d been avoiding. He usually stayed in the library to do his work, but now that he started these fake dating deals with some of his peers, he’d made this his meetup spot as well. It was quiet and public, not to mention a place that generally felt safe. His roommate was always lecturing him on how dangerous this could be, but Seungjun was reassured that nothing crazy would come from something so trivial as taking photos together and going to a cafe or bowling once in awhile. 

   Speak of the devil, as soon as Seungjun finished up his paper and returned to his apartment, his roommate was hounding him the second he stepped in. “It’s so late, why didn’t you answer my texts?” Seungjun blinked and slipped his shoes off, put his bag away, and laid some groceries on the counter of their kitchen. 

   “Don’t worry! I saw and got the things you needed, see?” He started putting the cold things in the fridge while the other stood over his shoulder and huffed some more. 

   “I’m not talking about that, I mean you didn’t tell me where you were or anything! I could barely enjoy my day off I was so worried about if one of those people you met with hurt you or--!” Seungjun spun around after shutting the fridge door and clung onto the man’s arm with all his strength. 

   “I’m sorry _Mommy_ , I didn’t mean to make you worry…” He cooed into the man’s arm as he snuggled his face into his bicep. “I was busy finishing a paper, can Youjinie forgive me?” Seungjun whined as his voice cracked from his cuteness. Youjin meanwhile was struggling to break free from the taller’s grip. 

   When Youjin finally got loose from Seungjun’s overly affectionate grasp, he rubbed his arm and walked away back into the living room. “You know I hate it when you do that!” He complained, but Seungjun chuckled and pulled out some beers he’d gotten on the way home. 

   “At least I got you something, on me.” Taking a seat next to Youjin who was busy playing some video game like usual, he opened the bottle and handed it to him. Seungjun sipped at his while Youjin practically inhaled it. He anticipated Youjin’s scolding and figured a few drinks would be the best way to get back on his good side. 

   Sure enough, a few drinks did change Youjin’s mood, and soon the two were cackling over the stupidest drunken tales. And as Seungjun expected, Youjin soon became very much more...open. 

   “You’re tall, handsome, you’re practically a dream boat but you need to take better care of yourself!” Youjin whined in a slur, finishing off the bottle he had in hand. He’d given up on his game long ago, and focused on Seungjun and his lifestyle choices again. “Maybe you’re making good money… but… don’t you wanna have a real girlfriend?” He rubbed his eyes, obviously tired but refusing to go to bed until he convinced Seungjun he was right. 

   Seungjun, teetering between being tipsy and drunk, snickered to himself at the sight of Youjin. He brushed off his ramblings, “You always say that but I’m not looking for something like that now.” 

   “You could have any girl and this whole… thing… proves it!” Youjin shouted over Seungjun’s denial and groaned as he rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me… You’re still hung up over _her_ …” 

   Seungjun tossed a pillow Youjin’s way to shut him up, stifling an awkward laugh from embarrassment. “I’m… I-I do like her… it’s just--!” 

   “It’s just you’re a wimp and won’t ask her out, I got that!” Youjin threw the pillow back, though it landed on the floor at Seungjun’s feet. “God it took you months to even talk to her, she’s your TA not a celebrity.” 

   “To me she might as well be! She’s so beautiful and smart and--” Seungjun sighed in endearment, leaning into the cushions of the couch like a blissful little kid. “Jung Yuji is like a goddess.” 

   Youjin scoffed and finally stood up, patting Seungjun on the shoulder in pity. “Wait too long and someone else will take her.” He left Seungjun without another word and dragged himself to bed. Finishing his last bottle, Seungjun frowned at the sudden thoughts of his senior Yuji. He’d had a crush on her since he first shared a class with her two semesters ago. Since then he’d taken several classes she was assisting in, admiring her from afar while utterly helpless to actually approach her. She ended up being the one months later who made the first move and talked to him, though only about things related to and during class. Still, it put Seungjun on cloud nine and he’d fallen even deeper for her since. By now he’d grown infatuated with every little thing about her; the slight eye smile she showed when she was embarrassed, the way she pushed her hair behind her shoulder, the gracefulness in her walk as she entered the room. 

   Seungjun was completely head over heels and it left him like a little boy saving himself for his own prince charming. Princess? Queen? The thoughts crossed his mind though none of the titles seemed to do Yuji justice. Instead he motioned to sleep on it. 

   It was finally the weekend and the best thing to do with that time to Seungjun was sleeping in. He probably would have slept until well into the afternoon if it weren’t for his phone going off with that awful high-pitched alarm he meant to change when he first got the phone. Reaching around blindly, his face deep into his pillow, he picked up his phone and groaned. He rubbed his eyes and put on some reading glasses by his bedside, scanning over the message with a strained look on his face: 

    _“Hello. I’ve heard about what you do from someone else and would like to ask for your help as well. If you’re able to, please let me know where we can meet.”_

   It had to be about Seungjun’s side job, he thought, but it was such a strangely formal message that it made him a bit uncomfortable. Still, it’s not like anything about his job or his clients was really normal. Typing up a reply, Seungjun decided to go through with it at his usual spot around dinner time. The first time he met up with these girls was usually the time when they would back out of the plan, most for reasons unknown to him but probably because they were too bashful to really approach him seriously in the end. From how awkward this message seemed, this might be the same case again and Seungjun figured he’d at least get some food whether he was stood up or not. 

   Picking up some fast food, Seungjun settled in his little nest in the school’s library once again. He didn’t have any work to do now, settling on a short novel to pass the time. He was only a chapter in when he got another text: 

    _“Running late. Almost there.”_

A lot more straightforward than the first few responses he got, but at least the girl wasn’t going to bail on him. Scrolling through his phone, he noticed some other texts he missed from his favorite overprotective roommate and rolled his eyes. 

    _“Are you meeting up with another stranger? They’re called STRANGERs for a reason.”_  
    _“Why are you meeting up so late anyway”_  
    _“Just come home right away if anything weird happens”_

Seungjun scoffed to himself and started to write up some sort of reassuring response. After all, he couldn’t keep his friend worried all night. 

    _“Nothing weird’s gonna happen, go to bed mom.”_

Though just as he hit send, he seemed to have jinxed himself. 

   A tall figure moved past him and stopped at his table, looming over with hesitation written all over his posture. “Excuse me…” He started, an airy voice not what Seungjun expected from his first look at him. He had a slightly shaggy head of hair, dressed in some tattered, dirty gym clothes that were fresh with the scent of sweat. Seungjun would’ve lost his appetite if he hadn’t already scarfed down his food. 

   “Yes?” Seungjun looked up and took off his glasses, marking his spot in the book with his finger temporarily until the man left. 

   However, the man slowly pulled out the chair across from Seungjun, sitting himself down with apprehension. Rubbing the palms of his hands across his shorts, the boy avoided looking at Seungjun directly as a shaky smile forced itself out of the corner of his lips. “I’m here about the… boyfriend-for-hire thing…” 

   Staring almost straight through the guy across from him, it took a moment for it to really hit Seungjun. Looking from his phone to the boy, he put two and two together and stuttered, “Y-You’re the one who messaged me…?” 

   Cracking the knuckles of one hand, Seungjun’s newest client bit his lip. “Y-Yeah I..I…” The words were such a struggle Seungjun wanted to reach over and pull them out himself. Suddenly the boy stood back up and scratched the back of his head, looking everywhere but at Seungjun. “I knew this was a mistake, I’m sorry. I’ll go…” 

   Reaching out, Seungjun grabbed hold of the kid’s arm and stopped him from running away. He felt bad seeing the guy so worked up and convinced himself to at least hear him out. “Wait, wait, wait. Just sit down and tell me what this is about.” Luckily the boy slid back down into his seat and actually looked back up at Seungjun from time to time. He looked like he had no idea where to start as his eyes dodged from one side to the other, running through his thoughts. Instead, Seungjun led him some more, “First, just tell me your name. You obviously know mine.” 

   “It’s Jihun, I’m Kim Jihun.” He blurted out and seemed to calm his nerves some more. “Well, you see…” He started an attempt to explain himself. “It’s hard to explain, but I just really need a photo with you, as a… boyfriend…” His eyes avoided Seungjun’s glance again while his voice trailed off, but Seungjun just put his book to the side and leaned forward, arms crossed across the table. 

   “Okay how much do you have for me?” Seungjun got to the point and Jihun looked somewhat surprised. 

   “You mean you’ll do it?” 

   “Of course, you surprised me for sure, but it’s not like it’s so strange of a request considering what I do.” Shrugging the oddness away, Seungjun’s words seemed to shake Jihun’s anxiety off as well. “You just need a picture with me right? So how many will it be, and do you have any couple things to use as visible proof?” 

   Jihun looked to his gym bag on the floor beside them and regretfully shook his head at the other. “I didn’t know you needed stuff like that…” He seemed to be questioning himself again, so Seungjun smiled and waved his hand like it didn’t matter. 

   “That’s fine! We can meet up again and take it--” 

   “No, I really need it today!” Jihun’s exclamation startled Seungjun coming from such a timid guy, but when the boy retracted back into his shell again Seungjun nodded and laughed softly. 

   “Okay, okay. We’ll just have to make it really convincing then.” Seungjun pulled out his phone again and stood up, pulling his chair next to Jihun’s. Sitting shoulder to shoulder, he loaded his camera and leaned in closer, head pressed to Jihun’s own sweaty hair. “I’ll take five for twenty dollars okay? It won’t be the best since this is so last minute but…” He held his phone out in front of them both and snapped a photo when both of them looked at it. “I’ll make it worth it.” Seungjun smiled and wrapped his arm around Jihun’s shoulders, pulling him even closer as he made a peace sign. Click. There was the second photo. 

   Slowly but surely Jihun became more comfortable and after a second of adjusting, he held up his own hand, fingers making a V across half his face. Seungjun stifled a laugh at his pose and nudged him a little, “What kind of pose is that? I can’t even see you in the camera anymore.” 

   Jihun was frozen in his pose and his lips grazed the back of his palm as he muttered, “It’s just something I always do…” 

   Seungjun could feel the annoyance in his tone and was a little too easily entertained by messing with the kid. Holding up his fingers in a similar manner, he copied the pose from Jihun and snapped their third photo. Jihun dropped his hand and looked to Seungjun with a bothered expression. With a playful smile, Seungjun moved the phone around to find another good angle, sinking further into Jihun’s side as he laid his head on his shoulder. Jihun stiffened up, but Seungjun managed and took one that looked like he was sleeping on the other boy’s shoulder. 

   “Ooh, I like that one!” Seungjun exclaimed as he brought it closer to look at again. He zoomed in on their faces, a smile spread across his lips like he actually enjoyed this time with Jihun. His client on the other hand was still sitting awkwardly next to him, legs tensed with his hands back to gripping at his shorts. There was only one more photo they needed and Seungjun wanted to make it the best yet. Pushing his phone against the bottom of his lips, Seungjun leaned back and thought for a moment before lighting up like he just discovered something brilliant. Scooting back in toward Jihun’s side, he held out his phone again and moved into frame, faces practically pressed together again. “Last one… ready?” He eyed Jihun’s image through the phone who looked nearly constipated, Seungjun thought. “Smile for this one okay! Come on!” Seungjun chimed and nudged him a little more, adding shortly after, “You’re cuter when you smile you know.” 

   His trick worked flawlessly and Jihun’s lips curved upward in bashful acceptance. Instantly, Seungjun turned his head and clicked the shutter of his cameraphone, capturing the moment just before Jihun scrambled back and held his cheek. Jihun stared back as Seungjun gleamed at his phone. He zoomed in on the photo slightly, admiring his work as the image of him kissing Jihun’s cheek plastered the screen. “Saved the best for last.” Seungjun showed it off to Jihun who stared almost in disbelief. 

   Seconds later Seungjun took back his phone and moved his seat back to its original spot. Messing with his phone a bit, he sent the photos to Jihun and looked back up at the boy a bit more intentful. “You have the twenty in cash right? I don’t accept anything else.” He was so taken aback earlier by Jihun that he forgot to lay out his rules before they did anything. Luckily, Jihun pulled out a wallet from his gym bag and handed over the money, all in small bills. Seungjun counted it all to himself while Jihun messed with his hair sticking together in strange pieces from sweat. 

   Seungjun put the money away when he was done and began gathering his things. “You can’t post those photos on any sort of SNS. If you need any others I’ll need at least a day in advance and it’ll be ten dollars for every extra photo after those. You have my number so just message me through there, don’t call.” Listing off all the dos and don’ts of the deal, Seungjun paused his verbal contract and pondered for a moment. “I’ve never had to do this with a guy before so…” He looked Jihun up and down once and squinched his eyes, uncertain about something. “Sometimes people want me to go on dates or outings with their friends and for that they have to tell me a week in advance, but with a guy… I’ll have to make it a bit more expensive.” Jihun nodded, though his blank expression seemed unconvincing. “It’ll be about eighty for something like that… just because it could be a little more difficult for me since I’m not gay. You understand right?” 

   The other boy nodded again and forced another small smile for manners’ sake. “I get it, I didn’t expect anything else honestly. This is all I needed.” Grabbing his bag, he abruptly rose from his seat and adjusted the bag’s strap over his shoulder. “Thanks and… sorry.” Before Seungjun could say anything else, not like he was going to anyway, Jihun rushed off, leaving Seungjun to really absorb how incredibly bizarre the last half hour had been. If anything, this would at least make for another interesting story to tell Youjin later. 

   Speaking of which, Seungjun checked his phone again as he exited the library and decided to check in with Mom before he filed a missing person’s report. He had already gotten another text from Youjin, though it only told him to get some groceries again on the way home. Seungjun groaned, but at least the guy paid him back after every trip to the mart. This was just the cost of being friends with a doting culinary major, but despite his complaining Seungjun was never happier than when the guy made him a good meal during his moments of experimentation. 

   Zipping through the store, Seungjun got what he needed and stood in the only line at the tiny place. It was moving pretty slow, and this would usually bug him if a hand hadn’t reached out and tapped his shoulder from behind. 

   “Seungjun?” A soft but somewhat husky voice called out his name and rang in the boy’s ears like a breeze through wind chimes. Spinning around without any pause, Seungjun saw his beloved Yuji standing in line behind him holding a basket of her own groceries. Flustered, he struggled to find any words to respond with and could only silently scream rhetorical questions at himself. _“What is Yuji doing here? Is that really her? Do I look okay? Did she really call my name just now? Why does she smell so nice even here?!”_ The last one was a bit strange and he looked away in his own embarrassment. Meanwhile, Yuji’s eyes lit up at the realization that she was right. “I thought it was you. You’re the tallest guy I’ve ever met around here it’s hard to miss.” Giggling a bit to herself, Seungjun could hardly keep himself from melting into a puddle right then and there. “Getting dinner?” She eyed the items in his hands and it took him a moment to return to Earth and respond. 

   “Yeah, yeah, yeah!” Too enthusiastic. A slight cough and he looked down at his things to hide his flushed face from her. “Actually it’s for my roommate. He likes to cook so he told me to get some things for him.” With a smile to hide his chaotic mind, Seungjun finally mustered up the confidence to look his senior in the eye again. “How about you? What are you up to?” 

   Yuji shrugged and readjusted the strap of her purse over her shoulder. “Nothing special. Getting stuff for later too…” She gripped the strap and the action led Seungjun’s eyes down the purse at her hip, then to her hips that were covered in some jeans. He forced himself to look away and forget about how good she looked in jeans. Her voice cut into his thoughts again, though for a question he didn’t expect at all. “I meant to ask you this in class on Friday,” she started, “But do you want to go have lunch with me tomorrow?” 

   Seungjun’s face was completely red, he was sure of it. Barely holding his composure, he gleamed and gripped his groceries tightly. “Y-Y-You mean like a date?” His throat felt completely dried up all of a sudden until she chuckled and pushed her hair back behind her shoulder. 

   “Yeah I guess it would be something like that. You see, my friend asked me out tomorrow and she said she was bringing her friend who--” 

   “Yes!” Seungjun blurted out when his senses came to. Yuji was stunned but smiled sweetly. With a bit of struggle, he pulled out his phone and raced to add a new contact. “Just give me your number and you can tell me the place we can meet up." 

   Without hesitation, Yuji recited her phone number and checked her phone for the test message from Seungjun. Smiling, she fixed the strap of her purse again and expressed her excitement. “I can’t wait until tomorrow then. I’ll message you later when I hear back from my friend tomorrow.” Peaking at the empty register past Seungjun, she pointed and started slipping by him. “Do you mind if I…” 

   He finally broke his gaze from her and shook his head quickly, stepping aside and almost knocking over a display of magazines to let her by. His knees were weak as she laughed to herself and checked out, leaving him alone in the store after a minute. With speed that would astound anyone, Seungjun bought the ingredients and returned home, dropping the bags in the kitchen and collapsing on the couch whether Youjin was already occupying half of it or not. With a shove from Youjin’s powerful arm, Seungjun curled into one seat and held a pillow tightly against his chest. He finally opened his eyes and let out a loving sigh as Youjin’s character died in his game. Tossing the controller away, he groaned and stared at his lovestruck roommate like he was a bizarre creature. He definitely always kind of was, but now especially something was up. 

   “What happened? How’d your ‘job’ go?” Youjin inquired with much obvious sarcasm. He was plenty annoyed with how Seungjun made him lose his game, but couldn’t help wondering what happened while he was out. 

   Seungjun tossed his head back and sprawled out on the couch, legs hitting Youjin until the man pushed them off the couch. “Only the greatest thing happened just now…” Looking up just for Youjin’s reaction, Seungjun beamed, “I saw Yuji at the store… and she asked me on a date with her tomorrow.” 

   Seungjun probably would have squealed himself if Youjin didn’t light up first. “Are you serious? She wants to go on a date with you?” He was both shocked it actually happened and genuinely happy for his friend. With pride in his eyes he stood up abruptly and headed toward the kitchen. “This calls for a special treat doesn’t it?” Not only did Seungjun finally have a chance at his dream girl, but the news also gave Youjin an excuse to bake some more. It was a win-win situation. 

   Stepping back out after a second, he called out toward the other, “Why did you get all the cheap brands though?” 

   Following after him, Seungjun peeked into the kitchen and blinked like it wasn’t a big deal. “I just didn’t have enough cash on me. You ask for way too much at the randomest times.” 

   Youjin made a sour face at Seungjun’s blame game and retaliated, “So your job didn’t really pan through then? Did another girl bail on you at the last second again?” 

   “Oh yeah!” Seungjun lit up before he curled over, covering his mouth as he started snickering to himself. He always acted like this when he thought of something hilarious. Youjin meanwhile went back to getting the ingredients and began measuring sugar and flour until the boy was done and ready to actually get to the point. When Youjin took out a spoon to start stirring some things, Seungjun blurted out between laughs, “Today it was a guy!” His giggles trailed off when Youjin stared back at him with shock. 

   “What do you mean… some guy met up with you?!” Youjin switched back to mother hen mode and started scolding him out of the blue. “What did I say about that job? I told you you’d just meet weird people doing things like that!” As Seungjun rolled his eyes, Youjin turned his back to him and started beating the mix by hand rather powerfully. He was obviously frustrated. “Did you even know who it was? It was some stranger right? You met him so late too, what if something bad happened to you? You could’ve been robbed or hurt or…” With a loss for more words and the mix nearly perfectly smoothed out already, Youjin just groaned and pushed the bowl aside. 

   “Would you stop worrying so much? The guy wasn’t weird…” Seungjun thought back to how overly timid and bizarre Jihun’s actions were and retracted his statement, “Well, he was a little weird, but he wasn’t a bad person.” 

   Youjin finally turned around and faced Seungjun, sighing while he pinched the bridge of his nose to calm himself. “Yeah, you definitely know him so well after meeting him once for thirty minutes.” 

   Seungjun frowned, “You’re just way too judgmental you know.” He pointed his hand toward Youjin after a thought popped in his head. “Look at you for instance. You’re all muscley and scary-looking to a lot of people but all you do is bake and play video games! Just because the guy paid me to be his boyfriend doesn’t mean he’s got ulterior motives.” Seungjun walked over and playfully smirked, scooping some frosting out with his finger and pointing it toward his roommate, “I think you’re just jealous aren’t you? I’m spending all my time with them and not enough with you…” Sucking on his finger he tried to act cutely to win over Youjin once again. When it wasn’t working, he hooked himself around Youjin’s arm again. “Tell you what, I’ll stop doing it for a while and hang out with you some more.” With a soft, pleading smile, Seungjun batted his eyelashes at the guy and whine, “Are you still mad at me?” 

   Youjin let out a noise of both an exasperated sigh and a frustrated groan. “You know I’m not. I just want you to look after yourself better. One of these days this job’s gonna come back to bite you.” He grabbed the bowl again and tried to squirm out of Seungjun’s grasp. “Now would you get off or do you not want me to finish these cupcakes?” 

   Immediately Seungjun backed away and stared at the batter in anticipation. “By the way, can you make some nice ones I can give to Yuji tomorrow too?” Seungjun just recalled his upcoming date and became a bundle of joy, going back to splaying over the entire couch in the other room as he counted down the hours. 

   The much-anticipated day began with an early alarm from Seungjun’s phone on Sunday morning. He rolled around in bed all night thinking about the next day before finally falling asleep well into the night. Now it was the next day and he was lying still as a dead man in his bed. It was now that all his second thoughts filled his mind. What if she never messaged him the details or forgot about the date? What if he went and totally messed up or looked like an idiot in front of her? What if they were eating and she started choking on something he ordered for her and he couldn’t save her and she died and it was all his fault? The last one was a little much, but he couldn’t help it and the twisted pit in his stomach was making him feel worse and worse about today. Nevertheless, he convinced himself it would go alright and thought about the fact he’d be with Yuji today. She wanted him to be there and that thought made him feel like he was floating on a cloud again. 

   Meticulously picking out his outfit, showering, cleaning up his hair, and checking his wallet three or four times, he whipped out his phone as soon as he heard the ping of a new message. It was from Yuji and Seungjun couldn’t have smiled any wider than when he read it: 

    _“Hey this is Yuji. My friend said we can meet her at the Cafe Dudart on campus around 1. See you then~”_

   He could just read it in her voice and that alone got him excited. Grabbing the little tray of cupcakes on his way out, he caught a bus to the cafe and stopped in front of the cafe. He checked his phone for the time and realized he was only a few minutes late, but also noticed a message he missed from a number he didn’t recall. As he walked inside, he opened it and saw it more clearly: _“stay home today”_. He would’ve acknowledged it more if he didn’t look up at the voice of his beloved senior calling out to him. 

   “Seungjun! Over here.” She chimed as she stood up and waved over to him. As he walked across the room he could see her friend sitting next to her as well, a girl he didn’t recognize. He didn’t mind the fact another couple would be with them, or at least he didn’t until he got close enough to see the guy Yuji’s friend brought along. Sitting across sipping a glass of water and looking down at the table was the guy he’d met yesterday, Kim Jihun. 

   Now he was completely bewildered. Seungjun awkwardly moved closer to the table but maintained his smile thanks to Yuji’s image before him. He took the empty seat next to Jihun and in front of Yuji, the scraping of the metal legs on the floor making Jihun flinch a bit. Still, Seungjun tried to ignore the tension and laid out the cupcakes on the table. “Hey, Yuji… and…?” He looked to the other girl who sipped a bit of the coffee she had and smiled. 

   “I’m Dahye. I’m Yuji’s friend.” She nodded toward Jihun and chuckled. “We haven’t met but I’ve heard some things from Jihunie here.” 

   Now this was getting weird, Seungjun thought. Something else was going on and Seungjun felt like the only one who didn’t understand. Yet he tried to pretend like he was in the know and nodded, greeting her more properly. “I had my roommate make these if you want any.” He pointed toward the cupcakes, but the girls were hesitant to have any. 

   “You mean for all of us?” Dahye questioned first with a hand hovering over one until Seungjun nodded and motioned for her to go ahead. She laughed a bit while peeling the wrapping off. “I wasn’t sure whether they were really for us or just Jihun.” 

   Yuji followed after Dahye and took one as well, admiring the dedication put into decorating it. “They’re so nice they seemed like they were only for your boyfriend.” She looked towards Jihun while licking frosting from her finger. “You love sweets don’t you?” 

   Finally Seungjun pieced it all together. He didn’t know how, but for some reason both Yuji and her friend believed that he was dating this near-total stranger next to him. Suddenly Seungjun wished that he was actually still asleep in bed and that he’d wake up to his real date with Yuji later that day. But Yuji’s melodious voice broke him from his trance and brought him back to this bitter reality. 

   “I was actually surprised when I heard about you two.” She started and looked from Jihun to Seungjun. “I didn’t think Jihun was even interested in anyone let alone someone from my class.” 

   Dahye laughed and agreed with her, leaning on the table after she scarfed down her treat and looking to Jihun who was half-smiling and avoiding any acknowledgement of the guy next to him. “Jihunie’s always hiding things from me, I had to practically force it out of him the other day.” She hit his arm from across the table and scolded, “You only told me you were dating a month after you even started going out!” 

   “A month?!” Seungjun blurted and shut his lips tight when the two girls looked back to him with puzzled expressions. His mind was in a chaos about what to do; either he cleared up this whole mess and fessed up to his rather shady business that wouldn’t look good in front of Yuji or he played along for now and figured things out later. The latter sounded best and Seungjun mustered up the strength to smile and lie through this messy situation. “I mean, I didn’t think it’d been that long already… Feels just like yesterday I even met Jihunie.” He mimicked Dahye’s mannerism and finally looked at Jihun. He actually looked much better now that he was cleaned up, but he was still sitting with his hands palming his knees like he was when they really did first meet. It was then he realized just how uncomfortable Jihun looked. All eyes were on him and both he and Seungjun knew none of what they were saying was the truth. 

   Luckily Jihun managed to smile and nodded along quietly, speaking up when everyone expected him to add on. “It hasn’t been long really… I just wasn’t sure about this so I didn’t tell you… ha…” A laugh struggled to leave Jihun’s mouth but it was enough to help resettle things again. 

   Yuji grabbed a cupcake from the tray and caught Seungjun’s eyes that widened and lit up until she passed it to Jihun. “Have one, they’re good!” Seungjun wanted to rip the cupcake away from Jihun’s hands as he grabbed it, but sourly watched him bite a huge chunk out. Eyeing Yuji’s reaction, he noted how pleased she looked and forced himself to go along with it. Reaching out, he wiped his finger across the corner of Jihun’s mouth and cleaned the stray icing off. Jihun sat there a bit stunned, but the two girls watched while suppressing their own coos. Licking it off his own finger, Seungjun gleamed while Jihun had another sip of his water, trying to hide the tint of red rising in his cheeks. 

   “Well in a month you two seem to have gotten close.” Dahye looked to Yuji and back to the boys, specifically Seungjun. “So how did you two meet exactly? I tried to ask Jihun but--” 

   “Actually, I hope you don’t mind, but I’d like it if Jihun could get me a drink first.” Seungjun interrupted without hesitation when such a specific question came up. Standing up, he linked arms with Jihun and pulled him up along with him. Jihun barely set his water down and tripped along with him, heading toward the register to get a drink. At least, that’s what Jihun thought as well until Seungjun pulled him toward the side and looked him straight in the eye. “Okay, we gotta get our stories straight, what did you tell them so far?" 

   Stunned by the sudden transition, Jihun blinked and looked around, trying to recall whatever ‘facts’ slipped out of his mouth until now. “Not much I mean all I said was that you’re my boyfriend and that we met at the library…” 

   Seungjun nodded and looked relieved. “Alright, then this’ll be a lot easier than I thought.” He smiled at Jihun and made his way over to order a drink, Jihun trailing behind like a lost puppy. Peeking back at the two girls conversing at the table, Seungjun leaned closer to Jihun and started laying out the plan. “I’ll say that you approached me, which you did, and needed my help finding a book. Then after that we just hit it off and… now here we are.” He shrugged as he got his drink. “It’s best to keep it simple. It’d be better if I had more time though.” 

   Hesitant, Jihun tried to interject, “Actually, I--” but before he could really say anything, they were back at the table sitting with fake smiles plastered on their faces again. 

  “Sorry about that, I was just really thirsty from the trip here.” Seungjun nonchalantly slid back into the conversation while Dahye turned her attention back to the two of them. “Well we met at the library actually. I was working on a paper for a class when Jihunie came up to me.” He smiled from ear to ear and scooted closer to Jihun, looping his arm around Jihun’s again. “He told me he couldn’t find a book and that he thought I had it or knew where it was.” With a slight chuckle, he leaned on the table and stared at Jihun. “After a bit of talking and searching together we hit it off I guess.” 

   Jihun finally looked up from the table back at Seungjun, smiling sincerely for the first time when their eyes met and he noticed Seungjun looking back at him lovingly. Dahye on the other hand cooed and leaned on her wrist. “So Jihun was the sly one then huh?” 

   Seungjun let out an airy chuckle and looked directly at her with a questionable look. “Why would you say that? He’s actually quite timid…” 

   “That’s what I thought,” She started, “But he works at the library so I guess he lied about the books just to talk to you. Sneaky.” She snickered and Yuji laughed to herself as well before drinking some more of her smoothie. Seungjun felt somewhat embarrassed at his ignorance to that well-known fact around the table, but shook it off with his candid smile. 

   “It’s cute, and at least you’re treating our little Jihun well.” Yuji’s eye smile glowed in Seungjun’s eyes and it made the pit in his stomach from before twist a bit more. The conversation luckily turned away from Seungjun and Jihun’s relationship and onto more casual topics. The four laughed and got along pretty well, though there was still a lingering tension between the two boys that only they knew. Eventually it had been a little more than an hour since Seungjun had arrived and the table was becoming emptier of food and drinks by the minute. Suddenly Yuji spoke up as she gathered her things. “You should really come to a game with us later. You haven’t been yet, right?” She looked to Seungjun who was clueless as to what she was referring to. 

   Jihun chimed in and shook his head, “Yeah he hasn’t seen any yet…” He saved Seungjun for once, but scratched his head. “Though I don’t know if you guys really wanna come, it probably wouldn’t be any fun.” He smiled bashfully, half his lips curving up like they were all talking about him. Seungjun looked around the table trying to figure out what they meant. 

   Dahye stood up and patted Jihun’s shoulder. “Don’t say that, it’ll be fun! The next one’s on Friday right? Let’s all go then together.” Getting her bag, she and Yuji fixed their hair and the wrinkles in their clothes, ready to leave. Seungjun stood up as well, willing to go along with them until Yuji excused themselves. 

   “We’ve got some other plans to get to, so we’re going to head out first.” Turning to leave, they both headed toward the exit, Yuji calling out, “It was fun, let’s do it again later!” as they headed out the door. Seungjun stood there in a daze. Yuji, the girl he’d been crushing on for over a year, had actually enjoyed spending time with him. 

   The scraping of the legs of a chair against the floor interrupted his happy thoughts. His only problem in this entire situation was his new boyfriend sitting next to him. When Seungjun looked his way, Jihun looked away and bit his lip. 

   “Look, I’m sorry about all this. I didn’t think they’d bring you here.” Jihun’s guilt was clear and it made even Seungjun somewhat guilty as well. “I didn’t know you were friends with Yuji or that Dahye was in your class. I tried to tell you when I found out Yuji invited you today, but it was too late. Sorry...” 

   Instantly Seungjun’s guilt turned into jealousy. “Are you saying you’re close with Yuji?” He didn’t even acknowledge anything else Jihun had said and honed in on his relationship to his crush. 

   Jihun looked up and nodded, shrugging it off like it wasn’t a big deal. “I’m closer to Dahye because we’ve known each other since high school. But she’s gotten close to Yuji since about two years ago… So we’ve all hung out a few times.” The boy scratched his ear and looked Seungjun in the eye finally. “Dahye was asking about us because she recognized you from class, so I ended up saying all that…” 

   The boy left out some details, but the part about knowing Yuji and meeting up with her often was the thing that really rang in Seungjun’s mind, more than enough to warrant the idea that now popped into his mind. He paused and thought it over some more, but sat down again and grabbed ahold of Jihun’s hands tightly. “This is gonna sound crazy, but hear me out.” If Seungjun kept this act up with Jihun, he could hang out with Yuji more and actually get close to her. The thing he couldn’t do in a year was now possible in the matter of a day just through this one kid. Sure she thought he was gay, but he only had to keep it up temporarily; long enough to get closer to his dream girl. 

   “What if… I actually was your boyfriend.” Seungjun looked Jihun straight in the eye, Jihun completely taken aback and palms getting sweaty in Seungjun’s hands. “Look, you don’t want to have to tell them we broke up so soon do you? They know me and it’ll be hard to just keep our distance while we still say we’re dating.” Seungjun scooted closer and held up their hands between their faces, trying to convince Jihun to take part in his absurd hook-up plan without revealing it was actually a hook-up plan. “It’s not like we’re really dating, I’m still your fake boyfriend. I just won’t charge you for anything and will actually go out more with you.” With a polite smile, Seungjun let go and sat up straight, holding out a hand and trying to be formal about it. “I’ll be your exclusive boyfriend-for-hire, free of charge, until the end of the semester. How’s that sound?” 

   Jihun stared at Seungjun with his jaw slack in wonder, confused yet helplessly tempted. In the silence, Seungjun stared a hole into him with his doe eyed look, hitting Jihun’s soft spot even harder. Eventually Jihun slid his hand out and grabbed ahold of Seungjun’s weakly, nodding his head. “Okay… Deal.” 

   “Thank you!” Seungjun beamed with victory, pulling Jihun closer and holding his face before kissing him on the cheek in joy. Jihun pulled back and held his face, just like he did the day before like he still wasn’t accustomed to any of Seungjun’s touchy behavior. “That one’s free, don’t expect another one unless we’re with the girls.” None of this really made sense from any other viewpoint but Seungjun’s, but even then Jihun couldn’t help but fall for it. Convincing everyone their relationship was real would be the easy part, but convincing themselves it was all a facade would be the real challenge.


	2. Excuses

With the sound of a key turning in the doorway, Youjin blinked out of his trance in his latest campaign online and looked toward the entrance to the apartment. Finding a good place to pause, he pulled off his headset and leaned back into the couch, stretching his arms up and out. He really needed the interruption after his hours of solid play, sitting in one position the whole time.

“Welcome home!” He called out toward Seungjun as he stepped through the door, a little eager himself to hear how the date went. Though something about his roommate’s energy as he returned home seemed oddly dark. There was a sense of melancholy about Seungjun and Youjin wondered what had gone wrong until he finally spotted the figure following his friend inside.

Seungjun let out a low sigh and tried to smile through the obvious misfortune that his date with Yuji had turned out to be, slipping his shoes off and pointing toward a spot for Jihun to do the same. Heading toward the kitchen, he called back out, “Just make yourself comfortable,” and got them all a few cans of soda sitting in the fridge. He laid them out on the nearby coffee table, including one for Youjin as he assumed he’d have to explain this all to him soon enough anyway. Pointing toward Jihun sitting stiffly in the farthest chair from Youjin, Seungjun introduced his new friend. “Youjin, this is my…” Seungjun’s lips twitched at the approaching word, “ _boyfriend_ … Kim Jihun.” Jihun bowed in his seat toward Youjin, avoiding the man’s gaze the second they met eyes.

Seungjun’s fingers curled up when Youjin finally uttered a sound of disbelief he didn’t think the guy could ever make. “What are you saying? Did the date fall through?!” Youjin sounded like he was practically offended at the idea.

His roommate however simply slumped into his own seat next to Youjin and groaned. “Don’t remind me… it’s a long story.” He spotted Jihun eyeing the soda nervously and reached out for one, opening it and handing it out toward the kid. “Here, don’t be so nervous you’re supposed to be my month-old boyfriend remember?”

Youjin’s head was spinning as he sat there frozen and silent. He watched as Jihun slowly took the drink from Seungjun and sipped at it bit by bit, staring at his own two feet all the while. Suddenly he turned to his friend when a realization popped into his head and simply laughed. It was a stale, empty laugh that nearly sent shivers down Seungjun’s spine until Youjin himself finally stood up and dragged Seungjun into his bedroom for a one-on-one.

As soon as the door clicked behind them both, Youjin pounced on his friend. “What the hell are you thinking? You never go this far with clients, what did I just tell you?!” Pinching the bridge of his nose, Youjin bit his lip and refrained from going off on his friend. He loved him but sometimes he was just too stupid. "Why did you bring him to our place? You don’t know a thing about that guy!”

Seungjun gleamed like he was anticipating that exact statement and his expression creeped Youjin out somewhat. Throwing his hands out in front of him toward Youjin, he exclaimed, “That’s exactly why he’s here!” Seungjun plopped himself on Youjin’s bed and frowned before he was going to explain himself. “This is a very uncomfortable mattress no wonder you’re so uptight.”

“Get on with it.” Youjin’s patience was wearing thin.

Practically scoffing at his attitude, Seungjun leaned back and revealed his plan. “Long story short, Yuji thinks I’m dating that guy in there. That’s the bad news. The good news is that kid is close friends with Yuji…” He hoped that little fact would’ve explained itself, but as Youjin stared on with a dumbfounded look on his face, Seungjun rolled his eyes and leaned forward on his knees. “Meaning, if I stick with him for now, I’ll get closer to Yuji!”

Youjin blinked and a moment of silence passed between them until he shouted the obvious. “But she thinks you’re gay!”

“Don’t you think I know that? I’m not that dumb…” Before Youjin could make another witty retort to that claim, Seungjun continued, “I’ll just hang around and pretend to be dating him until I’m close enough with their little group. Then at the end of the semester I’ll just explain how Jihun just wanted my help and we never really had a thing.” He stood up and clapped his hands together at his genius. “By then I’ll have a better chance at her than ever!”

Youjin couldn’t say it was an awful idea considering his progress with Yuji until now, but he shook his head regardless. “Don’t you think that’s a little fucked up?”

Seungjun dropped his hands at his side and was taken aback. “What? I’m not lying to her really… I’m gonna tell her most of the--”

“No I mean how you’re just using that poor kid!” Youjin pointed toward the doorway before crossing his arms. Youjin’s overprotectiveness shifted from Seungjun to Jihun and it left his roommate baffled. “He came to you for help and you’re misusing that trust, you know that right?”

Seungjun pouted and headed toward the door, “I’m not betraying his trust or whatever you’re going on about. We made a deal and that’s it. Business.” Heading back out, Seungjun left his concerned friend alone and rejoined his partner still trying to get comfortable in the living room. Grabbing a can of his own, Seungjun sighed and relaxed in the couch, a slight smile forcing its way out of his lips as he stared a hole into Jihun.

“So…” Jihun started and fiddled with the empty can between his palms. “What do you want to know?” He eyed Seungjun a few times until he was comfortable enough to finally glance at him for longer periods of time.

Seungjun shrugged and leaned on the armrest. “I don’t need your whole life story, just some basic things. What year are you, what’s your major, your family, hobbies and all that.” He moved his hand in the air to motion the list going on and on, a little evidently disinterested already. Though he had to do this, he needed to press on in order to make his plans convincing.

“Um well… I’m in my third year, I’m twenty-one actually.” The boy realized Seungjun didn't ask for his age and hesitated like he made a mistake, rubbing the back of his head and clearing his throat. “I have an older sister… I like playing basketball and reading sometimes.” 

Seungjun gleamed and sat up slightly “What stuff do you like to read?” 

Jihun looked up, his jaw hanging open a bit as he thought about the question. “I guess… I like mystery or thrillers.” A smile finally made its way onto his face but faded away when the sound of Youjin’s door shut loudly.

Seungjun’s friend appeared again looking much more disgruntled than before. He was obviously still upset with Seungjun and sulked his way out when Seungjun called out to him, “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.” Youjin retorted and left the apartment with his own things, probably to blow off steam somehow. 

Seungjun glared at the doorway until Jihun spoke up again, “Does he think we’re really…”

He sounded almost worried, so Seungjun shook his head. “No, no. He knows we’re not real. He’s just throwing a tantrum.” Jihun nodded slowly with what seemed like an understanding expression. Seungjun meanwhile peered at the boy in sudden curiosity. “So how did Dahye and Yuji figure we’re dating anyway?”

This was something Jihun had been anticipating and dreading all day, and when Seungjun finally asked he felt his chest tighten and blood pool at his feet. “Well…” Biting his lip to the point it started turning white, Jihun moved the can to the table in front of him and rubbed his knees again. Seungjun was really getting sick of that quirk of his. “The other day I was with Dahye like usual and she was looking through my phone and… saw a bunch of photos of you so she--”

Seungjun sat on the edge of his seat and blinked. “What do you mean photos?”

Jihun’s eyes darted away to avoid his interrogative gaze and he tried to laugh it off briefly. “Well you see… I just… um… here.” Dragging out his phone he opened his album and handed it off to the other guy, fingers practically numb to the graze of Seungjun’s slender hand as he grabbed the phone. Jihun swallowed a lump in his throat as he watched the object of his affection thumb through his photo album.

There were around fifteen photos; some were obviously selfies taken from Seungjun’s instagram while three of them were photos of Seungjun he’d never seen before. In each one he was sitting at the library in his usual spot, either reading or working on his laptop. There was even one of him sleeping at the table from their exam week last semester. Seungjun zoomed in on his face and stared without another sound. Jihun wanted to say something, but the tension in the air was suffocating. That is, until Seungjun started chuckling amidst the shivers trailing down his spine. “What are you, my stalker? What the hell is this?” Seungjun finally raised his gaze to meet Jihun’s and didn’t look too pleased at all.

Jihun held his head low and cupped his hand over his forehead to really hide his shame. “I work at the library and you come so often I see you a lot…” He finally sat up but went back to palming his jeans. “I just took those without thinking… I’m sorry. I really didn’t follow you anywhere though, I swear!”

“I get it, I get it!” Seungjun interrupted before the kid really exploded from guilt. Tossing the boy’s phone back to him, Seungjun sighed and slumped back in his seat, rubbing his eyes and brushing it all under the rug. “Just delete them or something, it’s not like it matters now.” Truly, Seungjun didn’t appreciate knowing someone was taking photos of him in secret, especially some weird guy like Jihun, but it was all in the past. All that mattered now was getting their stories straight.

Jihun swiped through the photos, moving them to the trash bin while he continued, “When Dahye saw these she kept asking me questions and I didn’t want to seem weird…” He glanced up at Seungjun who laughed under the tiny smirk on his face. “So I just said that you were a friend. But then she was going on about how you couldn’t be just a friend with how many photos there were and how happy I looked when I saw them so she brought up the whole boyfriend idea and I just freaked out and agreed and she brought up the whole lunch thing and…” Jihun quickly lost his breath from how wildly he relayed the details of the events leading up to their date. Collecting himself and steadying his heart that felt like it had already fallen out of his chest, the boy bowed across his lap toward Seungjun. “I didn’t mean for it to get this far, it’s really my fault, I’m sorry I--”

“Do you have a spine at all?” Seungjun interjected and Jihun tensed up. However, when Seungjun reached out a hand and held the other’s clammy palm in place, he relaxed somewhat and lifted his head. “Seriously, stop apologizing and doing this thing with your hands, it makes you look so pathetic.” He wasn’t trying to be mean, but with the circumstances and Jihun’s doormat of a personality he had had enough. Though, Seungjun pulled back his hand and smiled sweetly. “Don’t worry about any of that anymore, I’m your boyfriend now so just think about that.” None of this was going to work out if Jihun was an emotional mess, Seungjun thought, so it was best to make him comfortable at least. Even if Seungjun would rather kick him out of his house by now.

With a small smile in the corner of his lips, Jihun nodded and leaned back in his seat, looking up at Seungjun much more calm and collected. “Anything else I should tell you?” He seemed to finally be at ease and it relieved Seungjun’s shoulders from some tension.

Seungjun thought a moment, but couldn’t really think of what else there was he wanted to know about this guy. Recalling the specifics of their date earlier, he perked up when he remembered the mention of a game. “Oh yeah, what was that all about? The game on Friday or whatever…”

Seungjun expected Jihun to say he just enjoyed watching one of their school’s teams play or something similar, but Jihun responded with a much more straightforward answer. “I’m on the basketball team.”

Seungjun stared in disbelief, nearly chortling from the laugh he tried to suppress at the mere thought. “You mean you’re on our school’s team?”

“Yeah, why?” Jihun furrowed his brow and shot a defensive glare Seungjun’s way as he waited for the guy’s inevitably disappointing answer.

“Well you just… don’t seem like the type to play sports. Especially for a team as good as ours.” Seungjun rested his head on one hand with a pompous expression.

Jihun on the other hand wasn’t too pleased and scoffed. “Well I am.” He looked away, visibly annoyed. Seungjun smirked at his reaction and got up, tossing their empty cans out and looking through his own phone.

“I guess we’ll just see if you’re really lying on Friday then.” Seungjun smirked and found Jihun’s number in his phone, renaming it ‘Jihunie’ with cute tildas and hearts for emphasis.  
Jihun blinked and stood up as well, feeling a bit out of place as the only one sitting. “You mean you’ll come?” The surprise was clear in his tone, but the subtle happiness on his face escaped Seungjun.

“Of course,” Seungjun stuck his phone in his back pocket and leaned in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. “Your boyfriend has to show his support!” Seungjun had a cheeky grin on his face after that statement, but when the two locked eyes for too long, he turned away and coughed out the ball of awkward tension caught in his throat. Silence surrounded them for a minute, Jihun eyeing the other boy a few times like he wanted to say something until Seungjun finally spoke up again, “That seems like enough for today. Just let me know when the others wanna hang out, you have my number already.”

“Are you sure?” Jihun Waving back at him, Seungjun glowed with his perfect smile. “See you tomorrow, _Honey_ …” After Seungjun shut the door behind his new lover, Jihun dragged himself toward the stairs while rubbing the spot on his cheeks that suddenly felt so hot.

Moving to his room, Seungjun let out a heavy breath as he collapsed onto his bed. He messed around on his phone a bit before faceplanting into his pillow. A voice in the back of his head started to rethink this whole plan. _“What if it didn’t work and you just looked like an idiot to Yuji? You’ll end up a big, gay idiot.”_ A small groan erupting from his throat, he soon drowned out the thoughts with the image of Yuji smiling in front of him. She smiled because of him and only for him. Granted there were other people there, but he was the one who made her laugh and enjoy their time together for the most part. She was sparkling throughout the entire date and every time Seungjun pictured it again to the best of his ability, he found himself curling up under his sheets and smiling wide like a little kid.

However, this was only the beginning to his string of good luck. It wasn’t long before he was in class the following day with another opportunity with Yuji. He’d gotten there early enough for her to approach him at his table and take a seat next to him.

“How was the rest of your day yesterday? Did you have fun?” She started a lot more casually than she always had. Usually she’d just nod his way when he walked in or ask a generic ‘how are you doing’ type of greeting, but today felt much more personal.

He grinned from ear to ear and nodded, containing as much of his pleasure as he could to seem cool and collected. “Yeah, I just sort of hung around though and watched some shows.” He didn’t reveal too many details in case she felt intimidated. Appearing a bit aloof was more of Seungjun’s style anyway.

Yuji hummed and organized some of the papers she had in front of her. “So Jihun didn’t tag along then?”

Seungjun let out a lame laugh to cover up his forgetfulness. “Yeah, he came to my place for a bit but then left after. I finally got to introduce him to my roommate.” Seungjun peeked over her shoulder at the paperwork, then got lost in the vision of her stunning profile.

Yuji mustered up a soft chuckle, “That sounds like Jihun. Too shy.” Shaking her head, she pushed some hair back behind her shoulder and started marking some notes on different printouts. They were probably for their professor who would show up any minute now, but they were so detailed and meticulous that even Seungjun was deeply impressed.

“That’s for sure…” Seungjun muttered under his breath, his mind already lost in thoughts of the girl next to him. 

After she flipped through a few pages, Yuji pushed her hair back again and whined, “It’s always so hot in this room. I wish Professor Baek would change it.” Before Seungjun could snap back to reality and respond like a normal person, she dropped her pen on the tabletop and started pulling her hair back. Rounding up the loose strands, she wrapped a band around her ponytail and turned to Seungjun. “Does this look okay?”

_“She looks perfect, amazing… flawless…”_ Seungjun searched for the suitable word. “You look great!” Sweet and simple. The tension was slowly leaving the boy’s body and he felt himself melting in his seat. The characteristic eye smile she returned his compliment with soon sent him spiraling. It was only moments later that their teacher walked in and Yuji got up. With a wave, she headed toward the front and took her place for the rest of the class, Seungjun catching her glance every once in awhile during the lesson. With every moment they met eyes and smiled to themselves as a friendly gesture made it even easier for Seungjun to forget his facade with Jihun. That is, until Yuji brought it up again during their chat at the end of the lecture.

“Are you doing anything tonight?” Yuji got straight to the point and made Seungjun’s heart flutter in anxiousness. “Dahye texted me saying she was free to hang out. I thought I should invite you too, since we’re just going to try this new restaurant that opened nearby.” Yuji’s invitation was all that Seungjun had dreamed of and he eagerly agreed.

“Sure! Of course!” He flashed his toothy smile and beamed, “I’d love to, just text me the time and place and I’ll head over.” Maybe he was feeling too overconfident from the invitation, but Seungjun mustered up the courage to make his own suggestion. “Want me to walk you to your next class?” He immediately regretted letting those words slip out of his mouth and hastily tried to recover his more slow and steady approach. “You could tell me about the place on the way!”

Seungjun probably would have thought he was smooth enough if she hadn’t immediately declined. “Oh I actually don’t have another class, I have to head back to the department building and turn some things in.” Turning on her heel, she made her way out of the room and waved back at him. “I’ll text you the directions later!” She shouted out last second before her image faded from his sight. Though she was now gone, the fact remained they’d meet up again later and Seungjun had never wished for time to pass by more quickly. He practically floated to his next few classes, the lectures passing through his ears like melodic waiting music. Nothing could have fazed him until he checked the new message he’d gotten from Yuji on his way home. Stopping in his tracks, the couple behind him nearly running into him from how abruptly he froze, he dropped his phone at his side and looked up to the sky empty of any clouds.

_“It’s called Petit Paris, past the music building. We’ll be there around 7 if you still want to come. Tell Jihun about it for me~”_

He’d nearly forgotten that this whole dreamlike relationship came at the cost of being with Jihun. Heading back to his place at a snail’s pace, he texted the invitation to his new boyfriend, hoping he’d respond to that and wouldn’t need to call him about it. Just because he had a deal with the kid didn’t mean he had to do more than the bare minimum for it.

By the time Seungjun had cleaned up and got his daily quota of scoldings from Youjin about his choices, it was already past seven and the boy was flying to the restaurant with newfound speed. He’d texted Yuji that he’d be there soon and got a simple “okay!” in return. This gave him enough energy to get him there in just fifteen minutes from the other side of campus.

He searched around the dining room for Yuji. The place was sparkly and clean, tables draped in light fabrics with intricate details sewed in at the hems and low lights at the center of each table providing a tranquil backdrop for the plenty of couples who were dining in. In a moment he spotted the girl he’d met the day before, nearly missing her due to his unfamiliarity. Heading to the table, his steps were cautious while he looked around the rest of the room. “Are you here alone?” Seungjun’s voice was hushed enough as to not bother the other guests, but he still surprised Dahye.

Clutching her chest after the little startle she had, she looked up at the boy and grinned. “Is that really how you pick someone up?” She joked and Seungjun blinked, sliding into the other booth facing her while dwelling on how completely serious he was just a moment ago. She nodded toward the back of the restaurant and flipped through her menu. “Yuji’s here, she just went to the bathroom first. Want anything to drink?”

Seungjun nodded his head in acknowledgement before quickly waving his hands in rejection. “I’m good, I’ll just get a water when the waiter swings by again.” Dahye nodded and sipped out of her own glass of water. The table was dead silent with just the two acquaintances sitting by themselves, Seungjun realizing he even almost forgot the girl’s name. Without his own menu to look at, he looked around the room a bit before resting his gaze on the girl in front of him. Behind her fringe she had a pretty cute face with cat-like eyes. She was definitely cute, but also had a body to compete with Yuji’s. She had to have been popular among his peers and it made Seungjun wonder just how Jihun of all people could be close with two beauties. 

As if she was reading his mind, Dahye looked at the empty spot next to him and blinked. “Is Jihun coming soon?”

Seungjun froze like a spotlight was on him all of a sudden, blinding and insufferably hot. “Ah he…” His eyes moved to the floral wallpaper beside her while he tried to come up with a reasonable excuse. He didn't really bother to check in with Jihun and wasn't even sure if he got a response from him at all. Pulling out his phone, he saw a notification from nearly thirty minutes ago and opened it, quickly scanning the message.

_“ok”_

Seungjun wanted to strangle the kid. He could've at least told him a few details or his ETA, but now Seungjun was in the hot seat and smiled out of the corner of his mouth. “He had practice, but he’s on the way.”

Dahye sipped from her glass as she nodded, frown hidden from view. “Figures, he gets pretty busy around game days.” Pushing her glass away, ice melting and condensation beginning to form on the bottom, she sighed and leaned on the table. Seungjun meanwhile scanned the menu for his next meal. After another minute of silence, Dahye perked up again, figuring it’d be best to get to know her best friend’s new boyfriend. “I’ve always seen you around campus and in a few of my classes, what major are you?”

Seungjun’s eyes continued trailing down the page, struggling to read all the French names. Eyebrows furrowed, he answered with little consciousness, “I’m a literary major. I’m going for a minor in Korean studies.” Finally looking back up, he realized his rudeness and smiled much more politely, as much as his mind may have still been stuck on food. “How about you?”

Dahye shrugged and looked around the restaurant, eyeing the archway that led to the bathrooms. “I’m in business, but I’m taking some lit classes as electives. They seemed fun enough.” She giggled once and looked back at Seungjun, “Though I probably don’t have to tell you that.”

Eyes beaming her way, Seungjun nodded with enthusiasm. “I enjoy it, I think that--” He paused when a guy walked into the restaurant, dressed in an oversized t-shirt and jeans. It was clear as he approached their table that it was Jihun, hair still damp from what seemed like a shower. At least he didn’t show up in his gym clothes and dripping sweat like before, Seungjun thought in relief.

“Sorry I’m late, I showered in the locker room.” Jihun smiled at Dahye and stood at the end of the table, glancing up only a few times at Seungjun who he still wasn’t completely comfortable with. Still, they had to keep the act up and the boy slowly took the spot on the end, dropping his gym bag onto the space between them both to keep his distance and not get too worked up today.

Seungjun felt a wave of relief overcome him knowing that his guess was right and grinned with useless pride. “What took you so long?” He chastised the boy in a teasing manner, smirking to himself when Jihun looked visibly irritated.

Dahye chuckled to herself and pointed Seungjun’s way, reassuring her friend. “He just got here about five minutes ago, you’re hardly later than he is.” Turning her attention toward the older boy, she leaned on the table again, lonesome on her side of the table. “Where did you come from anyway? At least Jihun came from the gym, you won’t have an excuse if you live nearby.”

Pointing at himself in surprise at the accusation, Seungjun defended himself. “I live on the other side of campus, the west end. You can give me a break can’t you?”

Dahye blinked and looked between the two boys with a puzzled expression. “The west side of campus? Then why didn’t you pick Jihun up?”

Seungjun slowly turned to the boy next to him and took a moment to think about what she meant.

When neither one answered, she added, “You know… the gym’s right around there. You go see him there right?” She leaned back in her seat and crossed her arms. “I’d go for practice, but the guys act weird when a girl shows up.”

Nodding eagerly, Seungjun wrapped an arm around Jihun’s shoulders and pulled him slightly closer. “I actually haven’t yet because this guy won’t let me.” Looking down at Jihun’s face glowing with embarrassment, Seungjun ruthlessly put him in the hot seat instead. “I wanna go see you working hard you know…” He added an overly cute tone as he whined, Jihun slumping in his seat from how easily it got to him.

Managing to squirm out of Seungjun’s grip, Jihun sat back up straight and focused only on Dahye. “But you guys would just be bored watching practice…”

“You say that about the games too!” Dahye complained and was near-ready to scold him. “You made it on the team and you won’t even show it off. Half the other guys wear their jerseys around school all the time, you should boast a bit.”

Jihun seemed to be shrinking into his seat, but with how tall he was it seemed impossible to completely disappear and avoid this interrogation.Though because it was Dahye who was behind it he lightened up a bit. “Okay, then come next week if you want.”

Dahye smirked and eyed Seungjun across from her. “Don’t tell me, I’m not your boyfriend.”

Face feeling warm, Jihun bit his lip and looked over at Seungjun, meeting with his entertained glance for the first time today. “You can come… if you want, I guess.”

Seungjun wasn’t really impressed with the invitation, but shrugged and laughed a bit. “Then I guess I’ll have to go now.”

“Go where?” Yuji’s voice rang across the table as she returned, Seungjun grinning from ear to ear at her arrival. She still looked as perfect as she did from class earlier, her hair even still in the ponytail she pulled it back into next to him. He felt a little stupid for changing and dressing up a bit nicer than he had for class, but with how messy Jihun looked in comparison he didn’t feel too bad. He really wished this kid could clean up better himself.

“I’m just gonna start going to Jihunie’s practices next week. Might as well visit him when I can.” Seungjun smiled at Jihun who was busy scanning over the menu, completely ignoring Seungjun’s affectionate gaze, much to his annoyance. Yuji nodded and greeted Jihun as well, about to slide into the booth when Dahye inched her way out. Seungjun could only stare as Dahye got out and Yuji moved in, taking the girl’s spot in front of him.

“Thanks for warming my seat.” Yuji chimed to her friend with a cuteness Seungjun had never witnessed before. When Dahye made a face of slight discomfort at her sudden adorable tone, Yuji playfully hit her as she sat back down in front of Jihun.

“I should’ve just let your legs freeze.” Dahye muttered and Yuji could only laugh. It was heaven to Seungjun’s ears and he couldn’t stop smiling.

Yuji looked to Seungjun and then down at her lap that was hidden from his view. “I wore such short shorts today… but it was so hot in class, wasn’t it? I’m not crazy.”

Seungjun nodded, rubbing his ears as he looked over at the menu again. He was desperate not to think about Yuji’s legs and how good she looked in those shorts. It wasn’t long before he was saved by the waiter who came and took their orders. The four of them had another easy-going conversation, laughing about how strange some of the food looked and how awfully Seungjun pronounced their names. Even Jihun relaxed and laughed sometimes too, which was a rare sight for Seungjun. The bag between them and their reluctance to touch each other anymore probably helped. Instead, Seungjun’s mind was preoccupied on Yuji sitting in front of him, looking better than ever in the dimmed light from their table.  
It wasn’t long before one hour turned into two and some moments later they all pulled out their wallets and split the bill. Glancing at Yuji as she pulled out a card, Seungjun turned to Jihun who was flipping through bills like he didn’t want to let them go. Seungjun rolled his eyes and reached out for Jihun’s check, putting it with his and motioning for the boy to get up. While Jihun just blinked in confusion, he was practically shoved out of the booth before he could retaliate. “I’ll get it, don’t worry about it.” Seungjun grinned and pulled out his own card, patting Jihun on the shoulder when he passed him by and headed to the front to cover them both. The girls followed to pay for their own food as well, murmuring and giggling behind Seungjun much to his pleasure. He didn’t want to pay for Jihun per se, but at least this made him look good in front of them, especially to Yuji.

They met outside the restaurant, the sun replaced by a bright moon and stars hidden by the glow of the city’s lights. Dahye rubbed her stomach and mocked like she was about to throw up. “I’m so full…” She moaned and Yuji nodded in agreement. Jihun trailed behind and finally joined the group, slinging his gym bag over his shoulder as quiet as a mouse. The guilt over the bill was eating at him a bit, but he tried to laugh along with the others as they joked a bit more before parting once again. The girls caught a taxi and waved, leaving the boys on the nearly vacant city street. 

“That was nice…” Jihun started to break the tension that seemed to still surround them, though Seungjun didn’t look very pleased.

Looking Jihun up and down, he crossed his arms and sighed. “Yeah, but you didn’t really help you know.” Seungjun got straight to the point and left Jihun bewildered and stiff. “Look, I’m gonna be honest. You’re not really pulling your weight here.”

Jihun looked around from either side of the street, a small laugh escaping his lips instead of uttering ‘you can’t be serious’ outright.

Seungjun glared at him a bit, not feeling his attitude about the matter. “I’m putting a lot into this fake relationship. I hold you and act cute with you but you hardly do anything yourself. It’s a bit tiring.” Holding his hand out and motioning it across the length of Jihun’s entire body, Seungjun let out a hopeless noise. “Don’t you have any decent clothes either? These are dates after all, you should treat them like one.” Pulling out his phone as it buzzed from a new message, he chuckled once under his breath. “You act like you’ve never dated anyone before…”

The boy now a victim of Seungjun’s criticism bit his lip and looked away toward the street. A few cars cruised by and muffled the few sounds that escaped Jihun, indistinguishable whatsoever to Seungjun as he was preoccupied with his phone. “I--” Jihun started when he gathered the strength to speak up, only to be shortly interrupted by Seungjun tuning back into the one-way conversation.

“I’ll probably see if Yuji and Dahye wanna hang for a bit again later, so just don’t look like such a nervous wreck all the time.” Feeling like their ‘discussion’ was worthwhile and well-acknowledged, Seungjun grinned in pride and patted Jihun’s shoulder. The younger boy merely stared back, his dried, messy bangs and the dim city lights making his frustrated expression difficult to see. Seungjun started walking one way home, waving briefly back at the kid with sincerity as fake as his smile. “Just put in a little more from now on and we’ll both be fine.”

Just like Seungjun said, it was only a day later when he approached Yuji again in class. This time though, he managed to catch Dahye as well and suggested another time and place to meet up. Gladly, the girls joined him for lunch in the school cafeteria, calling Jihun over when he was free. This time he showed up in what looked like a tee under an old flannel and some jeans, to which Seungjun felt a little more assured over, despite his own lackluster fashion sense. Still, Jihun was slightly more easy-going and pepper throughout their brief chat. It definitely helped Seungjun to have more time admiring Yuji at the very least.

They met up much more casually for dinner as well, just checking out some local event happening on campus. They didn’t stay long, but the four of them could have passed as long-time friends by now. How close they all got was very sudden, but Seungjun was certainly determined. Before he knew it, Seungjun was arriving to class early, taking every opportunity to hang out with the girls and chat about some of their interests, a bit of the gossip floating around, and random little funny tales from their childhoods. With how things were going, he was actually spending more time with Yuji than he could’ve imagined, and a chance more dreamlike than he imagined was soon thrust upon him.

It was Thursday night when Seungjun asked Yuji and Dahye out to a local cafe. He mentioned the project that their professor had assigned to their class and how he wanted to have coffee and toss some ideas their way. They’d all spend some time together and have something new to talk about, Seungjun thought with much optimism.

“Dahye said she couldn’t come tonight, she’s swamped with homework.” Yuji revealed to Seungjun with a dispirited tone. Though, Seungjun’s smile and optimism helped brighten her up.

“Guess I’ll just have to drink double the coffee then.” He joked and grinned as Yuji giggled. “You’ll have to suffer my terrible ideas alone.”

“They’re not terrible!” Yuji chided and lightly smacked his arm from across the table. “Besides, Jihun can help us bounce off ideas, right?”

Yuji turned toward Jihun sitting at the end of their tiny table, sipping his own cup that looked miserably tiny in his hand. The boy perked up at the mention of his name and swallowed, nodding along and beaming. “Yeah I think I can…”

Something about them felt off without Dahye, but Seungjun hardly noticed it himself. Instead, he continued to jest, “Maybe… But he doesn’t really like books, I don’t think he’d be as much help as you.” He teased the girl in front of him and playfully tried to bribe her with a bit of the sweet cake he bought. “I mean, you are the one who’s close to the professor after all…”

Yuji laughed and held her gut for lack of air. Pushing his hand and the cake back, she uttered between near-chortles, “N-No… I can’t help you cheat…” Seungjun laughed as well as he continued to pester her, teasing her that would’ve otherwise been obvious flirting had Seungjun’s boyfriend not been there with them.

Though, it was only a few minutes later as the two continued joking and discussing the project that Jihun finally pulled out his phone and flipped through it a bit, their conversation becoming white noise in his ears. Abruptly standing up, he grabbed his cup and looked between the two, especially more so at Yuji. “Sorry, the captain wants me back at practice. He’s getting a little worked up about the game tomorrow…”

Yuji blinked and stared as he scooted his chair in, a bit sympathetic to his crazy practice schedule lately. Seungjun on the other hand showed surprise on his face, but blurted out a thought only as Jihun began to walk away. “We’ll see you at the game then!”

In seconds the image of Jihun’s tensed backside disappeared into the dusk city scene and the remaining couple continued their discussion. Seungjun especially couldn’t have been more ecstatic. He was finally alone with Yuji again, outside of class. It was almost like they were on a real date in that moment and he cherished every second. The boy’s face eventually started going numb from how long he’d been smiling until finally they parted after another hour or so.

Returning home, Seungjun was on cloud nine. He floated to his bed and stared up at the ceiling while the bubbling feeling in his chest slowly subsided. Youjin peeked into his room to check up on him, raising an eyebrow at his eerily joyful expression. “You okay? You look like you won the lottery.”

“I might as well have…” Seungjun sighed in pleasure and rolled onto his side to face his roommate. “I just had the greatest one-one-one with Yuji… She’s so incredible, she was joking and laughing and, god Youjin she has the cutest laugh ever, you have to hear her--”

Youjin held up his hand before Seungjun’s endless rambling really began, stopping him short and reaching over for Seungjun’s charger. “I don’t need a lecture on Jung Yuji okay? Just borrowing this for the weekend.”

Seungjun sat up in curiosity. “You’re not coming to the game tomorrow?”

Youjin however looked around as if Seungjun could have possibly been addressing someone else magically in the room. “Me? You never invited me!”

“Oh…” Seungjun trailed off in thought and lied back down on his cushiony bed. “Could’ve sworn I did.”

Rolling up the cable on the old charger carefully, the stern man scoffed and nodded toward the distracted boy on the bed. “You’ve been so obsessed with Yuji this past week I could’ve died and you wouldn’t have even noticed.”

“Oh come on! Stop exaggerating…” Seungjun whined and threw a pillow his way, Youjin swinging the door closed like a shield. Opening it again slightly, he peeked through the slit again and shook his head.

“Anyway, I’m gonna stay with a friend for the weekend, just a heads up.”

“Friend?” Seungjun looked intrigued when he suddenly shot up and smirked. “Ohhhh… You mean that grad student you’ve been eyeing huh?”

Youjin leaned down and picked up the pillow, throwing it right back at Seungjun’s head with perfect accuracy. “Yes and she’s just a friend.”

“Until this weekend she is.” Seungjun laughed to himself and curled up in the bed with the pillow between his stomach and arms. He looked like a giant giddy teenage girl talking about her crush. “At least that’s one thing we have in common, we like older women.” He joked, but Youjin smirked himself and eyed Seungjun with a sly gaze.

“Maybe, but I guess you go for the younger ones when it comes to guys.” Almost like he anticipated another pillow being launched his way, Youjin shut the door immediately and left his roommate in his own denial.

“It’s just for Yuji, I’m not into guys!” He yelled out toward the door and sprawled out across his bed, staring up at the ceiling in annoyance. He started muttering under his breath, “He’s the weirdo, he only likes tiny girls…” He mumbled a few other curses and settled his mind on the memories he made with Yuji today instead, drifting off to sleep with anticipation of hanging out with her and without Jihun again tomorrow.

It started to feel like it was becoming a habit by now, but Seungjun met up with Dahye and Yuji in front of the stadium, moving into their seats early enough for Seungjun to get them all some snacks. The two teams were warming up in front of them and Seungjun leaned toward Yuji beside him. “Which one is he?” He practically shouted over top the loud music and busy chatter from the hundreds bustling about.

Yuji peered across the court and pointed toward the left side, the exact location unintelligible to the boy. “I think that’s him, number sixteen.” After leaning over a second to double check with Dahye, she leaned closer to Seungjun and nodded, “Yeah that’s him!”

Seungjun squinted his eyes to try and get a better look, scouring the players’ backsides for the number sixteen until he finally spotted him. Jihun was dressed in a large navy jersey, the muscles on his arms being utilized and shown off as he shot a few balls from different angles. Seungjun never thought of Jihun as the fit type, but as he watched him warm up he began to realize how athletic the boy’s body type actually was. He stared as Jihun socialized on the court, laughing along with some of his teammates as they stretched until they all finally huddled together and talked.

After a moment, the teams broke up into their respective formations and the remaining members headed to the bench. Seungjun blinked, puzzled that Jihun moved toward the bench with a handful of others and took a seat. The game started soon after and the squeaking of sneakers and blowing of whistles distracted him enough to ignore the awkward feeling that had overcome him the longer Jihun warmed the bench.

In a flash, the first quarter ended and their school’s team had already gotten a lead of well over ten points. Seungjun shook his head as Jihun barely budged from his spot, only getting up to help hand some water and towels to the players moving off the court. He waited until the second quarter started and Jihun was clearly still a benchwarmer before actually complaining about the situation.

“Is this really all he does? What’s his position?” Seungjun leaned over in his seat to ask the girls, the both of them looking to each other with as much dissatisfaction as he had.  
Dahye called out to him as the game continued below, “He’s a point guard. He’s good too it’s just that--”

She was cut off when their attention was won by a large cluster of screaming girls some rows further up cheered loudly at another basket. The current point guard scored a three-pointer effortlessly and was now high-fiving his teammates as he jogged to the other side of the court for defense. He glowed on the court, some of his sweat helping his handsome appearance glisten and stand out among the other players. Shooting a smile the girls’ way, he managed to run off and steal the ball away again, swiftly passing it to another teammate to easily score another basket almost instantaneously. Seungjun was impressed himself though he wasn’t even a fan of sports. 

Dahye meanwhile leaned over again and tried to finish her sentence, “That’s Jung Inseong. He’s the team’s captain and resident point guard…” She nodded toward the girls holding up signs and squealing among themselves at Inseong’s progress. “As you can probably tell, he’s their star player too.” They all looked off toward the game and quickly grew absorbed again, Dahye complementing the team’s captain. “At least he’s good.”

Seungjun nodded to himself, unable to take his eyes off the guy now. He was truly the center of attention in the game, catching everyone’s favor with just a glance. His moves across the court were so fluid and swift that it was like watching a hummingbird zip through a bushel of stiff flowers. In moments, the first half ended with a twenty-three point lead and Seungjun found himself clapping at the home team’s efforts. He knew his school was really good, but he didn’t know players on their team were this good.

Taking a break, Yuji went to the restroom, leaving Dahye and Seungjun to spectate the commotion on the court. There was a halftime show of dancers sparkling and doing acrobatics, but Seungjun’s eyes were glued to the team’s star captain. The man had a towel wrapped over his shoulders, modelesque even as he dabbed the sweat from his face. The group of his fangirls managed to stay in their seats, calling out to him and screaming when he acknowledged with a smile and a wave. Seungjun always considered himself popular with girls, but this was a whole nother level.

“You seem enchanted.” Dahye scooted into the empty seat between them so she wouldn't have to shout so much.

The boy snapped out of his mindless trance and half-smiled. “I’m just curious I guess. I haven’t seen a guy like him before around here. He's so…”

Seungjun looked for the right word until Dahye nodded and interrupted him, “Charming? Yeah he can have that effect.”

“Do you know him?” Seungjun was intrigued more now by how nonchalant Dahye was.

She laughed a bit and shrugged. “We went to the same high school, Jihun too. We were friends back then but Inseong and I aren't really close anymore. They’re still good friends though.” Leaning forward on her knees, the girl watched the dancers wrap up their performance.

Seungjun was surprised that someone like Jihun and someone like Inseong could be friends. They felt like completely incompatible people from what Seungjun had seen of the confident, charismatic, and talented Inseong. He watched with interest as the two interacted on the sidelines, Jihun handing him a water and Inseong wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Inseong leaned in and started explaining something to him, pointing out positions and such as if Jihun was actually in the game. It wasn't long before Yuji returned and stole back her seat from Dahye, watching the dancers trail off the court with a glint in her eye.

“Am I late?” She sounded more excited than worried, but Dahye and Seungjun both reassured her she was just in time. Not long after the team members assembled onto the court, the two girls pulled out some small cloths with handwritten messages on them. Much like the larger group rows ahead of them, the two girls started cheering with fervor, though for Jihun. Seungjun glanced across the court and then noticed that now Jihun actually was in the game and Inseong was recovering on the bench now. The whistle blew and the ball was tossed in the air, Jihun lifting off the ground and tapping the ball toward his team with ease due to his overwhelming height against their opponent. Much like the first half, their home team seemed to be demolishing the others, though now Seungjun was actually more excited. On the edge of their seats, the three of them stared intently as Jihun flew across the court, blocking a shot from another player and running the ball down the other side. In a matter of seconds Jihun was unguarded and made a shot from the three-point line, the ball sinking in the net with little an obstacle. Instantly some cheers roared out, predominantly from the three who shot up in joy. The two girls gleamed and jumped in place, Seungjun throwing up one of the homemade banners Yuji handed him and screaming out the boy’s name in celebration.

A few minutes passed and Jihun had helped their team score some more points. Though, the other team narrowed the gap slightly in the meantime as well and before they knew it the whistle was blown. Their team called a timeout and soon subbed Inseong back into the game for Jihun. Jihun took his old spot on the bench, holding a towel over his head and gulping down some water as he cooled off. A wave of disappointment overcame Seungjun all of a sudden, but when he glanced at the two girls it seemed like they expected this. They began putting their banners away and sat back in their seats.

“Is that it? He’s done for the rest of the game?” Seungjun was flabbergasted. Jihun was good enough to rival Inseong but he barely played.

Yuji shrugged and sighed. “That’s what happens when you’re in the same position as a star. You can't help getting outshined.”

By the time the game ended and Inseong earned a wave of applause and cheering from his final basket, Jihun had only played just over five minutes. Seungjun felt somewhat sorry for the kid, but he also didn't even expect him to be an amazing player in the first place so he didn't dwell on it long. Rather, the three headed round toward a hall leading from the locker room exit, waiting up for Jihun after the game to celebrate his team’s win. A few guys came out, taken aback when they saw the two beautiful girls standing by and waiting. Several members oogled them quietly until they spotted Seungjun looming nearby and shuffled off. It was nearly fifteen minutes later when Jihun finally came out, changed into another plain t-shirt and some skinny jeans. His hair was wet from the quick shower he took, ruffled under his hand as he waltzed out. Seeing the three of them there, he paused in his step and genuinely smiled. He met eyes with Seungjun once, but looked down at the gym bag he was readjusting over his shoulder after a second.

“Great game!” Dahye reached out and hugged him first, ecstatic at their win. “You’re in the quarterfinals now right?”

Jihun nodded as the four of them started walking down the hall. He brightened up as he boasted a bit, “I'm pretty sure we’re a shoe-in for the semifinals too. The competition isn't too bad.”

“Well then we gotta celebrate… Let’s go to that barbecue place nearby!” Dahye suggested and Yuji agreed.

They quieted down when the creak from the locker room door echoed down the hall, catching them when they were halfway out. A figure poked out from behind and called out, “Jihun! Don't go yet, I gotta talk to you.” He started down the hall and Seungjun realized it was the team’s captain Inseong. He slowed as he approached the group and beamed, “Hey… You guys don't mind if I borrow him for a bit longer do you?”

The girls looked at each other and shrugged, hesitant and unsure about what to say until Jihun broke off and headed back the way they came. “I’ll meet up with you guys later.” He called back and smiled for a split second before turning around and walking next to Inseong.

Seungjun stared as they walked away until Dahye got his attention, “Seungjun, could you stay and wait for him here? I don't know if he’ll really come out to our party if he’s alone.” She sighed and pulled out her phone, realizing she didn't have Seungjun's number and looking to Yuji for help. Turning back to Seungjun she smiled sweetly, “I'm worried he’ll just go home, he should come out and celebrate with us, you know?”

Yuji added, “I’ll send you the address, we’ll save a spot. The bar’s not too far a walk.” Seungjun was helpless to her lovely smile and nodded, answering to the plea.

“Yeah that's fine. Just don't get drunk without me.” He joked and the girls chuckled, walking out together and leaving the boy alone. Seungjun stood around in the empty hallway, only the whirring of the old ventilation accompanying him. He checked and got the text from Yuji, thumbing through his phone and playing a little game as he waited. It was about five minutes later when the door opened and Seungjun’s patience pulled through. That is, until he realized Inseong was the one who walked out. Jihun wasn't behind him however, and Seungjun stopped the captain. “Excuse me…” He started and earned the attention of the guy. He was just as handsome up close and in casual wear as he was on the court, further confusing him over how Jihun could be so close to so many beautiful people.

“Oh are you here for Jihun?” Inseong pulled out an earbud and faced Seungjun. He nodded back toward the door and grinned politely to the stranger. “He’ll be out soon he just forgot something.”

Seungjun stared back at the door, slowly bobbing his head reassuredly. He turned back to Inseong and started some small talk while he was here. He was just a bit desperate for socialization after all. “You were great in the game today by the way. I’ve never seen someone move like you do.”

Inseong flashed a toothful grin and replied modestly. “Thanks. I mean it's our whole team’s effort, but I do what I can.” He chuckled a bit and looked back toward the exit where he'd briefly seen Seungjun earlier. “You were here with Dahye right? Are you two friends?”

“Yeah, I just got to know her recently.” The taller boy replied with enthusiasm. “She's great, really down-to-earth.”

Nodding his head, Inseong looked back at the exit, mumbling, “Yeah that sounds like her.” Facing Seungjun again, he stuck his earbud back in one side and held his hand out. “Well it was nice meeting you…”

“Seungjun, Park Seungjun.” For some reason it felt like he was being acknowledged by a celebrity. Seungjun gladly shook his hand and watched him head off.

“Good seeing you Seungjun! Come to another game sometime!” In seconds his image disappeared around the corner and Seungjun was all alone again. He honestly didn't mind waiting for the kid, but when the clock hit twenty minutes since he’d parted with the group, he grew increasingly frustrated by the second.

Eventually Jihun finally stepped out of the locker room, Seungjun relieved but also incredibly annoyed. Immediately he started scolding the kid who didn't even think he was waiting for him. “Why did you take so long in there? I’ve been waiting forever for you.”

Jihun was surprised, stopping in the middle of the hall and gripping tightly onto the handle of his bag. “I didn't ask you to wait for me…” Jihun muttered and Seungjun rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, but Dahye did. She wants to go out drinking with us to celebrate your win.” He started heading out, not really caring whether Jihun followed or not. “I should've invited Inseong when I saw him, he did all the work anyway…” Seungjun threw a snide remark at Jihun under his breath, but it was loud and clear in the vacant hallway. Still, the sheepish boy trailed behind Seungjun all the way to the bar. 

They met up with the girls at a small table, already grilling some meat to the perfect temperature in the center while some bottles were already open and nearly empty in front of them. They’d had a couple of shots already and were clearly tipsy by the time the boys sat down with them.

Cheering as Jihun arrived, Dahye held out a shot to the boy and shouted over the bustling Friday night crowd. “Have some, you deserve it!”

Seungjun expected the kid to be hesitant about it like he was with everything else, but he practically ripped it from her hands and downed the alcohol. Grabbing some meat, he started scarfing it down between shots until Seungjun defended the pieces he'd already claimed. Seungjun meanwhile only had one shot himself as they sat there and chatted in a drunken mess.

“You were so good today I almost forgot how good you were at basketball!” Yuji babbled on.

“Yeah you should tell the coach to put you in more, don't let Inseong hog all the glory!” Dahye chastised him, Seungjun feeling a tinge of guilt about what he'd said to Jihun about Inseong earlier.

Putting his glass down after only his second shot, Seungjun cooed at Jihun playfully, putting on another show for the girls. “You looked great on the court. I didn't think you had this side to you…” He smirked, “It's kinda sexy.”

Jihun downed his fourth already. Seungjun probably would've slowed him down if he really cared, but he was more focused on impressing Yuji at the moment. When Jihun ignored him and just stared at the bits of meat sizzling on the grill instead, Seungjun upped the ante and leaned in close to him. Before Jihun could retract, Seungjun pushed his hand through his bangs to move them out of his face, kissing him on the cheek. It might've been because of the alcohol that he thought this was a great idea to impress Yuji, but Jihun’s solemn behavior was off-putting. Usually he would've jumped back and held his cheek in shock, but now he just sat there and reached out for a bottle of soju, filling his glass again.

At least the girls were convinced, Seungjun thought as they grinned and oohed at them both. Dahye was the happy drunk type and soon enough was clapping her hands to an imaginary beat and shouting at the boys. “Do a love shot! Love shot! Love shot!”

When it seemed like she wouldn't stop until they did it, Seungjun grinned and laughed a bit embarrassingly to himself. He took the tiny glass in his hands as Yuji poured for them both, herself getting to her tipping point. Jihun seemed a bit lost and the most drunk out of them all already, but he grabbed the glass and allowed Seungjun to twist their arms together. Seungjun downed his drink easily, but Jihun stared at Seungjun instead, only taking the shot once the boy let go of him. Jihun's face was incredibly red, but his complexion returned to normal once he had his fill of beef.

The girls chattered and cheered for the rest of the hour until they finally wore themselves out, slumped in their seats with weariness overcoming them. Seungjun called them a cab just to be safe, as he was the only one closest to sober. Making sure they got in alright, he waved off to them and promised several times to Dahye’s repetitive pleas to get Jihun home too. Standing over the kid who took one last shot, barely any alcohol left for him to even drink, he groaned and reached down. Slinging one of Jihun’s arms around his shoulder, he hailed a taxi and carefully pushed him in. He planned on just sending the cab to Jihun’s and calling it a day, but then Seungjun realized how he didn't even know where the kid lived. The driver impatient with a drunk boy in his backseat mumbling to himself, Seungjun slid in beside him and just directed the way to his apartment.

The two made it to Seungjun’s apartment in no time, the whole car ride quiet and tense despite the large amount of room between them. Jihun was starting to nod off on his side, head resting against the window. Barely managing to drag him out once they'd arrived, Seungjun helped Jihun stagger up the stairs and into their room.

“Why did you drink so much?” Seungjun groaned and sorted through his keyring to find the one for the apartment. Jihun just moaned, slumped against the wall with barely any strength to stand. The sober boy eyed him once and rolled his eyes. The door opened and Seungjun grabbed ahold of Jihun again, helping him inside.

It was when they entered and Seungjun finally managed to flip a light on that Jihun suddenly became really talkative. “You wonder why I drank so much? Because I needed it!” He shouted out, Seungjun flinching from the loudness directed in his ear. “I have to deal with class, the team, my job, and now I gotta deal with you... always telling me where and when to go somewhere... then getting all pissed at me when it's hard to rearrange everything for you.” He glared at Seungjun and threw the boy off him, slumping into the chair he sat in when he first visited. His legs dangled off the arm of the chair and he laughed as he threw his head back. “You’re always complaining about the stupidest shit! I am doing my part by the way. Thing is, I gotta make money and win games too! What are you doing?” He held out a hand and lifted his head toward where he thought Seungjun was. 

Seungjun meanwhile was next to him, trying to pull him out of the seat and get him to a proper bed. He muttered as he dragged him upward, “Would you shut up already?”

Jihun laughed, “There he goes making demands at me again!” He faced Seungjun's profile next to him as they squeezed through the doorway. “I thought this whole thing would be nice for a while, but you’re just a narcissist who scams girls… and now guys!” Seungjun led the younger boy into his room and with no strength left in his pathetically weak body, he dropped Jihun on the bed. When Seungjun flipped the lights on, Jihun groaned and mumbled, “Where am I…?”

Seungjun changed into some looser, cleaner clothes quickly as Jihun rolled around in the bed and tried to kick his shoes off. “You’re in my room. Be quiet, it's late.”

Jihun chuckled and slurred his words as he raised his voice. “Who cares?!” He started again and Seungjun was slowly losing his patience. The older boy sat by the bedside and tried to pull some blankets over him, hopefully hushing him. Jihun on the other hand pushed them away and complained some more. “Why are you taking care of me?... You don't care about me… And Yuji's not here.”

Seungjun blushed from embarrassment and played it off like he didn't understand what he was talking about. “W-Why would she need to be here?”

Jihun looked up at Seungjun, his hair a mess from rolling around and clearly showing off his snickering expression. “Don't play dumb. That's my job… remember?” He giggled to himself and Seungjun looked away, getting up to just leave him and hope he'd fall asleep soon. But Jihun continued, a little more serious this time. “I know how you like her, couldn't even stand being there when it was just you two...”

Seungjun froze in guilt. Jihun wasn't supposed to know about that, but he obviously did and the manipulative boy didn't account for that. He looked back at Jihun who stayed still on his back, staring at the ceiling.

Jihun squinted his eyes and bit his lip before covering his eyes with a hand. “You know… that’s exactly how I was about you for a while… until all this shit happened.” Rolling on his side and facing the wall, Seungjun stood there and merely listened. He was pretty sure Jihun was struggling not to cry in front of him, but the frustrated boy made it that much more obvious. “I know it's fake. I know the kisses and the touching and the words are all fake but they feel so real and… I still like you a lot so it fucking hurts. Telling yourself all the time… that the guy you like is just using you...”

Seungjun was hoping he'd just start speaking some nonsense, but the fact that everything he was saying was the underlying bitter truth hit him hard. Seungjun had been a real dick this past week. Slowly, he worked his way back toward the bed and sat beside him, Jihun still facing away.

“I'm such a fucking idiot. All those times I saw you at work you seemed so happy and nice I just wanted to talk… but all I could do was take photos. I'm so stupid.” He paused and slapped his own cheek in regret. “I saw all those times with the girls… why did I think you’d take me anymore seriously than them…” Every word Jihun uttered was like another cinderblock of pressure on Seungjun. He’d been feeling so lifted this whole time he didn't realize Jihun was taking the blunt of it all. Jihun laughed a bit to himself in Seungjun's silent presence. “Weird huh? The quiet gay kid has feelings too. Well I try not to show it.”

Unsure of what to do in a situation like this, Seungjun just sat there, holding a hand out after a moment and awkwardly rubbing the boy’s shoulder to comfort him. Jihun finally turned around, cheeks red and eyes glossy. “I can't help it…” He eyed Seungjun next to him until he finally smiled and sat up. “I’m just happy you finally see me…” Pulling Seungjun closer, he met his lips with Seungjun’s. Their warm kiss only lasted a few seconds before Jihun pulled away, but it left Seungjun completely stunned. Holding his hand over his lips, he watched as Jihun fell back into the bed, face filled with a blush before he finally passed out.


	3. Standing On The Edge Of...

_ “I’m just happy you finally see me…”  _ Those words wouldn't stop running through Seungjun's mind. He'd hardly slept a wink all night with how much his stupid guilt was eating at him. Every time he shut his eyes all he saw was Jihun’s bittersweet smile right before he kissed him. He couldn't forget how the kiss felt and it made Seungjun’s skin crawl from something he didn't understand. He just never guessed that Jihun would be so forward. In fact, this whole time he never really took Jihun's feelings seriously at all, so maybe that was what was so surprising about last night. This was all like a play to Seungjun, but to Jihun it was something much more confusing. These thoughts were the only thing that occupied Seungjun's mind as the night rolled into Saturday morning.

Helplessly, he rolled onto his side in Youjin's bed and stared at his phone. Maybe it was because he stayed in his friend’s room for the night, but he could practically hear the guy scolding him with “what did I tell you” and other things he warned Seungjun about this whole plan. Scrolling through his contacts, Seungjun settled over Yuji’s name, rereading their conversations and sighing. Even this didn’t help take his mind off things. Finally, Seungjun reluctantly sat up and focused on the issue. He’d given up on some proper sleep long ago anyway. 

He might’ve been a major asshole this past week, but even in all of Jihun’s honest thoughts he never said he wanted to call it quits. As far as Seungjun could tell, the deal was still on. The problem was, Seungjun was too focused on gratifying himself this whole time. As reluctant as he was to really flatter Jihun’s desires, Seungjun thought over and over about how to make it up to the poor kid.

Finally he climbed out of bed, back sore from the stiffness of his friend’s mattress, and rubbed his head. Ruffling his bed hair into a cleaner shape and stretching his long body out, Seungjun moved into his own room quietly. When he peeked in and realized Jihun was still asleep, he sighed in relief. He wasn’t quite ready to deal with the boy yet, especially with lingering thoughts of their kiss still in the forefront of his mind. He tiptoed quietly around and gathered some better clothes for the day, then eyeing Jihun still in his jeans and t-shirt from the night before. As he got closer, they reeked of alcohol and Seungjun nearly gagged. He was never really the drinking type so he could hardly tolerate the awful smell the morning after. Immediately he went back into his dresser, pulling out another pair of his own pants and an old sleeveless shirt he had, decorated with a faded print of sorts. He started to lay them out on the end of the bed for Jihun when the kid started rustling in the blankets. Seungjun froze and tensed up when he realized the boy was sitting up, rubbing his eyes and holding his head in some obvious pain.

Jihun groaned and took a few moments before finally addressing Seungjun at the end of the bed. “Ugh… What happened… my head hurts so bad…” Blinking as he looked around, the light from the window hurting his eyes, Jihun yawned and reacted poorly to the strong smell of his own breath. “Where am I?”

Seungjun inched closer and kept his eyes on Jihun’s face. His hair was a mess from rolling around in bed, his face a little puffier than usual from sleep. Seungjun always thought he had a sort-of baby face but he looked even more infantile this way, it was a funny sight. “You’re in my room. You got wasted and I had to drag you here.” Seungjun left out plenty of details, hoping Jihun really didn’t remember much about last night like he seemed.

Jihun rubbed his eye again and sat weakly in bed, staring up at Seungjun standing beside him. “Oh… Really?...” Jihun seemed to struggle coming to grips with the situation, his expression looking like he was trying to recollect any memories from his ranting the night before.

With Jihun staring up blankly at him, Seungjun felt his skin start crawling again. He got lost gazing into Jihun’s eyes, finally realizing just how odd they were. They were mismatched and unique, it seemed to pull him in as he finally really looked carefully at him.  _ “I’m just happy you finally see me…” _ The image of Jihun’s face right in front of him, the feeling of the guy’s fingers gently around his neck and shoulders pulling him in from last night reappeared in his mind and Seungjun looked away. He tried to shake the thoughts of the kiss away and act normal again. “Yeah, you were so noisy but you passed out pretty fast.” Seungjun cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck where the feelings still ghosted over his skin.

Jihun gripped the sheets and looked down, head hanging slightly as he moved his legs off the side of the bed. “Sorry…” He muttered and looked tense from doing Seungjun wrong again.

“Would you quit apologizing all the time?” Seungjun groaned but cut himself short, recalling how bossy Jihun described him to be. He didn’t want to be an asshole to the kid anymore so he bit his tongue. He pointed out the clothes on the bed and spoke more softly. “You can borrow some of my clothes and take a shower if you want. I’ll take you home later.”

Eyeing the clothes on the bed, Jihun stood up and held his head in pain from the hangover. Seungjun watched as Jihun held the clothes up, looking back to Seungjun shyly. “Thanks.”

Seungjun smiled, “Isn’t that easier?” He grabbed his own set of clean clothes and watched as Jihun headed toward the door, sluggish and sore. Showing him the bathroom, he added, “I’ll get you some pain meds too.” He left Jihun to his shower and headed back to his own room to get dressed.

He changed pretty quickly and had enough time to primp himself a bit before waiting around in the living room for Jihun to finish up. He thumbed through his phone and watched some television with half a mind while waiting around, thinking about what to do about Jihun and his fake dating plan the entire time. When Jihun finally came out, dressed in Seungjun’s clothes and hair dried properly, the older boy gleamed in surprise. “You look good! You actually dried your hair… and I thought the clothes would be too big…”

Jihun blushed and looked down at the large shirt that was still pretty baggy over him. “Yeah they feel alright.” He looked back at Seungjun and smiled out of politeness. “I’ll wash them when I get home and give them back whenever we all meet up again.”

Seungjun dropped his smile at his words. He really did only meet up with Jihun when the other girls were around and the pressure he felt last night hit him again. He stood up and shook his head. “You can just keep them, I haven’t worn that shirt in months anyway.” He flashed a half-smile and avoided Jihun’s stare of disbelief. Looking to the bottle of pills on the end table beside him, he handed them over to Jihun along with a glass of water he poured earlier. “Here. Your head’s probably splitting by now huh?” Seungjun laughed a bit to cover up how he felt like the only awkwardly tense one in the room. Jihun took a pill out and tilted his head back, swallowing it all while Seungjun merely stared. Jihun looked at him strangely and wiped his mouth after gulping down the water, confused by Seungjun’s reactions to him.

“Do you have a hangover too?” That was the only guess Jihun could’ve made.

Seungjun snapped out of his daze, catching just how long he focused on Jihun’s throat and lips while stuck thinking about the night before. Coughing to himself, he turned around and shuffled into the kitchen to put the glass away, stuttering, “N-No, I was just thinking about something.”

The boy followed slowly after and blinked as he admired the glistening white kitchen despite the obvious age of the building. “About what?” He added quickly, “If you don’t mind…”

Seungjun’s mind was in a chaos to come up with something, but now that the kid asked about it so innocently he couldn’t take his mind off of it. “Well… about later today.” He didn’t even know what he was saying anymore. “I was thinking we could go out for a bit.” It was true that he’d thought of repaying Jihun with their own date for how he treated him all week, but he hadn’t really decided on it. Now he chuckled and faced Jihun, “Just us and not the whole group. I’m supposed to be  _ your _ boyfriend right? I might as well spend a day with you.” When Jihun just stared with widened eyes and mouth hung slightly open, Seungjun laughed it off like it wasn’t a big deal. “Knowing you, you’d probably never ask for something like that anyway. It’s my treat.”

“Are you sure?” Jihun sputtered out and turned around to hide his flushed cheeks. “I mean we’re not really--”

The elder boy sighed and came closer, turning Jihun to face him despite his own internal struggles looking at him after last night. “Even if we’re not real boyfriends, I made a deal and should do my part in private too, shouldn’t I?” Seungjun’s soft smile made Jihun’s chest flutter and his broad shoulders sink further into the guy’s warm hands. “Even if this is temporary and fake, you should get to enjoy it.”

Jihun’s face read that his mind was a mess. He looked ready to say something when Seungjun stepped away and started getting his shoes on, grabbing his wallet and keys. He called back, holding the door slightly ajar, “If you don’t want to I can just take you home too.”

Almost instantly Jihun moved toward the door, then back to Seungjun’s room to grab his old clothes and things, then back to the entrance. He paused in his step and struggled to slip his shoes on quickly, ecstatic about an outing with his crush and hardly subtle about it. Seungjun could only laugh a bit as he watched him. It was a bit cute, he thought.

A bus ride later and they were in the center of downtown, the streets overflowing with groups of tourists, friends, and family members. Everyone around the city spent their days off wandering this area, shopping and meeting up for outings like karaoke or bowling. Most couples showed up at night for the romantic aura enveloping the buildings through abundant street lights and shimmering ads for one of the hundreds of bars. There was one on practically every corner of this area, but Seungjun didn’t plan on letting Jihun drink again and incurring another incident like the night before. Now as they arrived and were strolling down the street together among the crowd, Seungjun convinced himself his spontaneous idea was actually a good decision after all. He’d spend time with Jihun during the day and avoid any places that would make for another awkward night between the both of them. Also, this would be Seungjun’s chance to make up for his selfish behavior, at least enough to brush off his own guilt and get back to his original plan eventually. He still didn’t give up on Yuji, that was for sure.

“Where do you wanna go first?” Seungjun inquired and seemed to knock Jihun out of some trance.

The boy slowed at a crosswalk and surveyed the street across from them. “I’m not sure… Should we just look around?”

Seungjun rolled his eyes and shook his head, “No! We have to do something memorable don’t you think? Walking around like this all day is just so… boring.” Looking around himself, he spotted a more updated fashion outlet and dragged Jihun along with him. “Let’s check out some clothes first. You seem to really need some new clothes anyway.”

Jihun looked a bit embarrassed by his comment, but followed along and found himself sifting through several racks of designer tees. After a few more minutes he got more comfortable and pulled out a hoodie with an interesting design. Moving to the glass cabinet where Seungjun was looking through some accessories, he held it up in front of his own face and asked for his opinion. “What do you think about this?”

Seungjun stood straight and eyed it up and down, moving it down so he could actually see it over Jihun. He shrugged as he looked it over, “It looks okay, but do you really need a new jacket? It’s getting warmer out now.”

Jihun pouted and turned the jacket to look at it longingly. It was obvious he wanted it really badly. “I like it but… you’re right.”

Seungjun felt a little sorry and tried to smile, pointing at the shirt he gave to Jihun earlier. “You should get more shirts like these, they’ll be good for the summer.” He nodded toward his body. “You’ve got some nice arms you should show them off more.” Ever since he saw Jihun during the game yesterday he realized how much of a body the boy could actually flaunt off if he actually had the nerve to. His shoulders were broad, arms muscular with slim wrists. Even as Seungjun got a good look at him now, he noticed how curvy Jihun’s figure was for a guy. He had thicker, athletic thighs that stretched out Seungjun’s thin jeans, unlike the skinny body Seungjun had. It was like the boy was a perfect mix of effeminate and masculine characteristics that he’d never seen from anyone he knew. Seungjun blinked and looked back to the showcase, eyes moving on their own across the items as he tried to avoid the kid’s reflection in the window. He didn’t want to admit he might’ve been technically checking him out.

Jihun looked down at the shirt he was wearing, hiding the red tint rising in his cheeks as he nodded and headed back to the rack he got the jacket from. Putting it away and pulling out some more sleeveless and summery shirts, he let Seungjun know he was going to try some things on.

Acting like he didn’t care, Seungjun watched as Jihun trailed into the changing rooms. After some time, he sauntered over toward the wall displays in the back, looking at some bags and underwear until he finally heard the click of a door opening. Spinning around, Seungjun gleamed in anticipation at Jihun’s new look, but was easily disappointed when a young girl came out to check how a dress looked on her. Sifting through a few hangers of discount items, Seungjun was distracted with imagines about how the kid might look in some newer, stylish clothes. Though, he’d convinced himself that there wasn’t any special reason why Seungjun looked forward to seeing Jihun come out. Instead, he was just having fun getting to do more normal things with the kid. They weren’t putting on a show for once, but just hanging out. He didn’t think he’d have fun himself, but slowly he started to find his smiles come naturally as he heard another door click open. That had to be the explanation for his sudden giddiness, he thought.

Jihun walked out in a much nicer, slimmer tank top. The design was nice and it looked fine on him as Seungjun stared at the mirror image from behind. “That one looks good! I think darker colors look best on you.”

His sudden compliments startled the kid, but Jihun just smiled bashfully at his reflection. He liked the shirt as well and loosened up. “You think?”

“Yeah, that's why you look good in your uniform too.” Seungjun added and looked away from the mirror when Jihun met his gaze with his own surprised glance. He had to admit that Jihun did look alright during the game, but he couldn't help feeling like he said something he didn't mean to just now. Scratching his own arm, he clarified, “Those aren't just pretty words either, I mean it this time.” He smiled despite the growing pit in his stomach. “I’m gonna be completely honest and real with you today. Promise.”

They stared at each other for a good moment before Seungjun turned around to view the clothes again, completely regretful about the words that just spilled out of his mouth. Jihun on the other hand was much more content and grinned wholeheartedly. “Thanks Seungjun… About the uniform I mean…” Heading back into the changing room, Jihun blushed out of view. “I guess I really should wear my jersey around more often then…”

The taller boy hunched over a standing rack in wait, dwelling on how stupid he'd just sounded. He was trying to act more natural with Jihun, but couldn't help feeling that tension swell up in his gut that had arisen since Jihun's confessions last night. Gradually he thought about what had happened less and less and could actually look at Jihun now, but it was still hard to see him the same way. Then again, maybe it was best not to return to how they were before considering how terrible he was to the kid. Pushing a few hangers together in front of him, Seungjun decided it'd be best to just build up a relationship with Jihun more like friends instead.

After trying on a few more clothes, Jihun settled on some things to buy and headed to the register. Seungjun tagged along and pulled out his card as the lady rang everything up. Jihun immediately looked stunned and tried to reject his offer. “You don't need to pay for me, I have enough money this time.”

“I told you didn't I?” Seungjun shooed him away and swiped the card across the pinpad. “Today is my treat!” Jihun watched quietly as Seungjun paid for his new clothes, biting his lip from guilt. Seungjun glanced at him and sighed as he handed the bag off to the kid. “Don't get so hung up over it.” With a reassuring smile, Seungjun walked the boy out and headed down the busy street again. They looked around a few stores and window shopped, but only really checked another place out when they found a bookshop nearby. Seungjun of course was ecstatic, Jihun entertained just from how giddy the guy was as he floated from section to section. They looked through some of the newer titles and Seungjun skimmed through a few chapters. When he finally snapped back to reality, he looked at Jihun across the stand reading through his own book of choice. Maneuvering over to him, Seungjun peeked over his shoulder and read along some of it too. He suddenly snapped his fingers and made a noise of realization, surprising and annoying Jihun who was trying to read.

“I heard about this book from my teacher! She said the science behind it all was completely proofed by scientists before being published.” Seungjun’s eyes glistened as they scanned over the book in Jihun's hands, looking back to Jihun with the same glint. “You like this kind of stuff?”

Jihun shrugged and put the book back into its slot. “I like sci-fi sometimes…”

“You like mysteries more though right?” Seungjun interjected and Jihun laughed.

“You remembered that? I guess so…” He was genuinely surprised Seungjun remembered that little detail he revealed about himself and crouched down to view the books near the bottom.

Slightly confused by his spontaneous chuckle, Seungjun laughed a bit himself and took out the book after him. “What's so funny? That I actually listen sometimes? If it's about books then I'll remember it for sure.” He looked proudly down at Jihun who gladly ignored him.

“I can only imagine how annoying you are in class then.” He smirked up at Seungjun before the guy kicked him slightly and knocked him off balance. When Jihun fell on his ass way too easily, they both erupted into some laughter that won the frustrated glances of some other customers. Seungjun helped him up but stayed bent over in laughter himself until Jihun lightly hit him in the back to stop. He looked at the book he was holding and pointed to it. “Are you getting it?”

Wiping a tiny tear from the corner of his eye, Seungjun stood straight and held the book up. “Yeah, I figure you’d like it. And I can borrow it from you when you’re done. You wanted it right?” He looked straight at the boy who stuttered over his words.

“I guess… I mean it looks interesting.” He didn’t want to admit he wanted it, but Seungjun could see how much he coveted it when he walked over. He didn’t mind, as long as he got some time alone with it later too. After that they just wandered around the depths of the store, Seungjun leading the way most of the time as he spotted several favorite genres and titles he enjoyed a few years ago. Jihun broke off to look at a few novels that caught his eyes from their vivid covers, Seungjun always helplessly drawn to whatever he was checking out. They laughed at a few awful descriptions and strange artwork, Seungjun pointing out which books he distinctly remembered being ridiculous or terrible and relaying the hilariously bad plot points to Jihun’s amusement. 

They’d spent an awfully long time just browsing and joking together until finally Seungjun’s gut started rumbling from hunger. Rubbing his stomach, he looked to Jihun and checked up on him too. “Are you hungry? I’m starving.”

Jihun held his own gut and shrugged once. “A little bit, you want some lunch?”

Nodding fervently, Seungjun whined and headed to the register. Paying for Jihun’s book and another light novel for himself, they scanned the streets for a good place to eat. Seungjun was finally feeling a bit more cheap now and looked for relatively affordable places among the overpriced downtown area. Spotting a cafe on one corner, he pointed there and rushed over before Jihun could even read the name clearly. Though it was already well past lunch, the weekend crowd still filled out enough of the seats inside and Seungjun sighed. He didn’t really want to, but he moved to the outdoor seats and sat some of their things at an empty table. Jihun gleamed and sat down himself, his bags on the ground next to them while enjoying the fresh air.

“You look to pleased to be out here. It’s so hot…” Seungjun complained.

Jihun smirked and scoffed at how much of a wimp Seungjun really was. “When you’re stuck in stuffy buildings all the time it’s nice being outside. It’s not even that bad out right now.”

“Only because you’re wearing such an open shirt. You’re welcome.” Seungjun joked and pulled out his phone, opening a blank note. “What do you want? I’ll get it and you can wait here.”

Jihun looked up and hummed as he thought. “An iced americano… I’m not too hungry.” Seungjun could tell this was just Jihun being modest and not making him spend so much, but he nodded and jotted it down despite how simple the order was. Heading into line, he waited behind several people asking for complicated orders. He didn’t even know what he wanted himself and scanned over the large board of choices several times. Though he loved food he was always a bit picky.

He was next in line to order, pretty confident in his decision when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around expecting to find Jihun telling him to change something about his order, but was surprised to find a girl standing behind him. She was pretty tall and her slender, dainty figure made that even more clear. Half her hair trailed across one side of her chest down to her waist, shimmering in the light peering in through the windows. She was doe-eyed and very pretty, and even her voice as she spoke matched the effeminate aura she gave off.

“Excuse me… can you help me?” She started and Seungjun looked around with confusion. He wasn’t sure what was wrong but instinctually felt a little worried for her.

“What do you need? I don’t know if I can--”

She cut him off with a rather needy expression. “Please just… could you be my boyfriend for a moment?”

Her request wasn’t something unheard of for him at this point, but it still took him by surprise. “P-Pardon?”

Grabbing a tight hold of his arm with her delicate fingers, she stepped back to try and lead him away. “You just have to say you’re my boyfriend for a bit…” She stopped and gazed at him with a look that was hard for anyone to not be victim to.

Seungjun took a step back of his own, arm outstretched in the awkward gap between them. “Why do you need me to do that? I don’t even know you.” He never knew any of the girls he met with for the same offer, but was especially uncomfortable with the job thrust upon him so suddenly.

Fluttering her eyelids from how flustered his questions made her, she let go of his arm and pushed her hair back. “I would usually do this myself,” She started with a frown, “But I saw you and thought you could help me again.” She looked up with her soft eyes that made his heart completely empathetic. “You really don’t remember me?”

It took him a moment, but her worried expression finally clicked in his head. Showing a dumbfounded face of his own, Seungjun clapped his hands together and made an elongated noise. “You’re that girl! From that time!” He sounded like a genius alright. Collecting his thoughts, he grinned and chuckled to himself. “I mean, you’re the one that asked me to be your boyfriend back in the winter right? I can’t believe I’m meeting you like this again.”

The girl sheepishly nodded her head, smiling slightly now that he remembered her. Still, she looked around the room with caution and introduced herself with a hushed tone. “My name’s Haeryeong. If you don’t mind, can you do me the favor again?”

Seungjun nearly forgot what she came to him for and snapped out of his wonder. He was still hesitant considering his exclusive deal with Jihun, but had little time to think when two guys walked up to them from around the corner. “What’s the deal sweetie? Your boyfriend here or not?” One of men complained as he sauntered toward Haeryeong. She flinched at the sound of their voices as the other chimed in.

“She’s been going on about some guy for weeks but I’ve never seen him.” He looked her up and down with a sly look, stopping rather close as she turned around. She tried to maintain her polite smile and sweet demeanor, but her frustration and fear was overwhelming on Seungjun’s conscious.

Like it was instinct, Seungjun wrapped his arm around Haeryeong’s shoulders and looked down on the guys. Luckily he was tall enough to because they had much more intimidating characters overall. “Did you need something from my girlfriend?” Seungjun blinked and hummed to their surprise. Haeryeong eased up in his arm as he kept a tight grip on her. It was more surprising to Seungjun that creeps like these two were real.

One of the two scoffed and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Is this your boyfriend then? Are we supposed to believe this?”

“Everyone says you’ve been single all semester. Are they all liars then?”

The two started to get snarky and before Haeryeong could say anything, Seungjun spoke up again with a stern voice. “Like I said, do you need something? You’re making my dear Haeryeong uncomfortable.” Taking a step in front of her, he let go and crossed his arms. The two guys finally stepped back and shrugged their tension off. The one on the left scratched his chin while the other rubbed his scruffy hair. Disappointed and unwilling to pick a fight, they mumbled some complaints and headed out of the cafe. 

Haeryeong let out a long sigh and held her hand to her chest as the fake couple watched them leave. Curling her fingers into the sleeve of Seungjun’s shirt, she smiled up at him and thanked him. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t been here. Really, thank you so much.”

Seungjun kept his eyes on the door before glancing her way again, a sweet smile plastered on his face again. “I should do what I can, right? Besides, you don’t seem like someone who deserves guys like that swarming around you all the time.” He felt a bit sorry for her the more he thought about it, wondering just how often she had to go through a situation like this in her life. This was only the second time he helped her, and the first was just through a photograph they set up together. “Does this happen a lot?” He finally said it bluntly and Haeryeong was caught off-guard.

“Yeah, I mean… probably as much as any girl.” She was being modest, he could tell, considering she was definitely above average in terms of appeal. This, of course, was not  _ his _ type though. She looked away and rubbed her arm. “One of those guys kept asking me out and hitting on me in class. No matter what I said he just ignored it.” Suddenly she shook her head and gleamed. “Though in most cases I just use that old photo we took and say I’m in a relationship already and that works fine. That guy was just extra persistent.”

Frowning, Seungjun became more worried by her words. These weren’t just strangers, but people she had to see every week. Her name was called out by one of the employees and Seungjun watched as she excused herself to pick up her drink. As she returned, he sputtered out the nonsense running through his head in that moment. “Why don’t we take another photo? You could probably use one, right?”

She blinked, coffee in hand, and smiled. As Seungjun was already pulling out his phone, Hearyeong pushed her hair behind her ear, flattered by the gesture. “You don’t have to, really…”

“Don’t worry about it, I just want to be of help when I can.” Seungjun gave his toothy smile and pulled up his camera application. Moving in close to her, he held out the phone and snapped a good photo. Stepping away, he paused and looked up, “What’s your number? I’ll send it to you.”

It took her a moment, but Haeryeong listed out the numbers one by one, watching Seungjun punch it in slowly and save her into his phone as an official contact. She pulled out her phone when it buzzed and opened the new message that popped up. With a tiny smile, Haeryeong read the first message from her savior:

> _ “It’s Seungjunie! Save me!! (into your phone) :)” _

She giggled to herself and added him into her contacts. Seungjun definitely wasn’t interested in her, but felt a great satisfaction from making her happy in that moment. It was like a vague sense of heroism had engulfed him and he was basking in it.

She mouthed his name to herself once before acknowledging him in front of her again. “So your name’s Seungjun? Sounds nice.”

Nodding, Seungjun  put his phone away and eyed her untouched coffee. He forgot how thirsty he had been. “Well now you have my number,” He met with her eyes again, “If you run into some more trouble, just let me know.”

“You mean…” She was stunned speechless.

He shrugged like it wasn’t a problem. “Yeah I can’t just leave you alone. You’ve actually helped me out a bit in a way.” Unwilling to get into the details of how his fake dating career started because of this girl and how that brought Jihun to him who brought him to Yuji, he brushed it off. “Might as well help a friend.”

Haeryeong nodded her head once and tucked her phone away. Sipping her coffee finally, she trailed next to him as he reentered the line to order. “Do you want me to get this? Or we could get lunch…” She looked away. “I feel like I owe you a lot.”

Eying the menu, he looked back toward the entrance and then to Haeryeong. “Actually, I’m here with someone.” He pulled out his phone again to find Jihun’s order. Luckily he wrote it down because he’d already forgotten it amidst the commotion. “We can try another time though.” He gleamed and Haeryeong mirrored his pleasant look.

Nodding with understanding, Haeryeong turned away and brushed her hair back over her shoulder. “Well, thanks again. Really.” With one last look that Seungjun practically ignored as his eyes were glued to the menu, she headed back to a table deeper inside the cafe while the boy ordered his and his friend’s drinks.

After what felt like an experience that took him an eternity, Seungjun grabbed his order and headed back outside. He felt a little sorry for making Jihun wait so long, but he quickly got over it when he walked in on the kid sitting and chatting with two girls. He couldn’t tell what Jihun was saying, but the girls giggled to themselves as they stood by the table. They were so obviously flirting with him that someone as dull as Seungjun could tell from a step back. Seungjun frowned and rolled his eyes. He didn’t spend all this time and money today just for Jihun to get hit on by some ladies. As he approached the table and sat their food down, a drink in front of Jihun and a bag and drink in the spot next to him, Seungjun pulled the chair closer and sat down.

“Sorry I took so long Honey, the line was so long.” He finally acknowledged the two girls loitering next to them and grinned. “Who are your friends?” Seungjun gleamed as he wrapped an arm around Jihun’s shoulders. The sense of deja vu was laughable to the guy. He knew Jihun was too soft to turn them down so he’d have to push them away himself. In fact, he wasn’t even sure if Jihun realized they were interested in him.

Jihun looked down at his drink, hiding his embarrassed face from the two girls while he mumbled, “They were just asking for good restaurants to check out…”

“Yeah, thanks. We’re gonna go… check it out now…” One of the girls interrupted and excused the both of them. They muttered to each other as they waltzed off, Seungjun peeling his arm off and leaning back in his chair once they were out of sight.

“Twice in one day. Who would’ve thought…” Seungjun mumbled and chuckled to himself. He stopped slurping up his coffee once he noticed Jihun hunched over the table. He blinked and cleared his throat, “What’s wrong? You don’t really need girls flirting with you, you know.”

Jihun smirked and let out a laugh, though still notably bothered. “It’s just… I’m not really…” He trailed off and fiddled with the straw.

The boy next to him put his own drink down and leaned on the table. If he wanted them to be friends then he couldn’t let Jihun bottle up everything like he did before. Especially if he didn’t want to see an explosion like the night before. “If there’s something bothering you, you can tell me. I won’t get it if you won’t tell me.” He smiled at Jihun as he looked up at him, reassured.

“Well…” Jihun started, “It’s nice what you’re doing, really. But…” He looked back to his cup and brought it up to his lips without a sip. “I’m not really out…”

“Out?”

“Yeah.” Jihun finally sipped at his drink, sending glances at Seungjun who looked somewhat confused.

“What do you mean? Dahye and Yuji clearly know.” Seungjun leaned in more. He was suddenly very interested.

With a shrug, Jihun nodded. “Well they’re my closest friends, they support me. Dahye’s known me since high school after all.” He scratched his cheek and looked around at the people across the street. “I don’t really put it out there though. I don’t put myself out there like that. So I kind of wish you wouldn’t put on a show for everyone.”

Seungjun was speechless. He didn’t even think about how Jihun handled his sexuality and now he felt like a jerk all over again. Holding his head in his hand, Seungjun sighed and Jihun automatically sat up.

“Don’t get me wrong! It’s a part of the deal and I get that--”

Waving his hand toward Jihun, the other boy stopped him. “Jihun,” He started and lifted his head, looking straight at the boy. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t know.” He continued before Jihun could collect his thoughts after that apology, “So no one else really knows?”

The boy shook his head and put his drink down as well, staring at the water on the outside of the cup. “I haven’t even told my family yet.” A small laugh escaped him. “I’ve just been waiting to bring someone with me to tell them I guess.”

It was a touchy subject and Seungjun was never really one to deal with moments like this. Instead, he smiled it off and joked around. “Well if you wanna do it within the next month or so, I’m open.”

Jihun chuckled and brought the drink to his lips again. “Yeah, I really wanna introduce a guy who sells himself as my sort-of boyfriend to my parents who still think I’m straight.”

Seungjun dropped his jaw into an offended expression. Grabbing the small bag that was on the table, he pulled it closer to himself and pouted. “I guess if you think of me that way then you won’t get any of the treats I got you.”

Eyes wide, Jihun leaned in and reached out for the bag, struggling with Seungjun’s strangely strong grip. “You got me something? Don’t take it!” They both laughed until Seungjun won out in the end and opened up the bag, pulling out a small sweet bread and breaking off a piece. Offering it to Jihun, he held it toward the boy’s mouth. Jihun stared at it for a moment before taking a bite and relishing in the sweet taste. His lips grazed Seungjun’s fingers and the elder retracted his hand, taking a bite of his own. That subtle moment instantly reminded him of the night before and Seungjun started to tense up again. Even if he thought of the kid as a friend, the memory and confession wouldn’t leave him.

Mouth full, Jihun made a thumbs up and showed his approval of the snack before noticing how lost Seungjun was in his thoughts. “You okay?” He slurped more of his americano until it was nearly gone, ignorant to what troubled Seungjun.

Seungjun smiled sweetly and nodded his head. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just forgot I probably shouldn’t do stuff like that, right?” He slurped more of his coffee when Jihun shrugged.

“I just don’t think you should have to do things you don’t want to do.” Finishing up his coffee, he took the bread from Seungjun and picked at it. “Not that I don’t like it, because I do. I like it a lot actually.” When he saw Seungjun smile at that, Jihun cleared his throat and blushed, looking away in embarrassment.

Seungjun stared at the other boy with an underlying intrigue. Before he knew it, he blurted out what he was thinking, “Why did you start to like me anyway?” He had already heard how Jihun saw him and wanted to talk to him at the library several times, but he never got the full story. At least until now that was.

Jihun swallowed hard and choked on the bread a bit, smacking his chest to help clear it. Before he died of embarrassment he was probably going to die from asphyxiation. “I um… I just started to like you, I don’t know how really.”

“Oh come on, there had to have been something. Just tell me.” Seungjun pressed on.

Jihun blushed and hid his face behind his hands, though while laughing at himself. “You’d been to the library a lot already so I saw you often. You were handsome and all but when I had to reshelve the books is when I really noticed you.” His hands started falling lower and lower as he got deeper into his bittersweet memories. “You looked so honest and dedicated just sitting there reading. You’d be there for hours, you were so immersed in the books. I like reading as much as the next person, but you just looked so warm and inviting in those moments…” He trailed off and finally met eyes with Seungjun again who seemed just as shy now to hear it as he was to tell it. “This sounds stupid, but I liked how you always put the books back in their place when you left. A lot of people just leave them for me to find their spots, but you always went out of the way. It was nice…” He let out a shallow breath and sat up. “I couldn’t help it, I just suddenly liked you.”

Seungjun had a sort of cheeky look on his face to hide his own blush, but he nodded and scratched his nose. He didn’t think that normal things he did like reading and putting away books affected someone that much. “Thanks, Jihun. That’s… nice to hear.” He couldn’t stop smiling and forced himself to suck every last drop of his drink until he collected himself again.

Another few minutes and stories and the two were finished with their treat. The chillier evening air beginning to seep through the streets and onto the people still out. They sat and chatted a bit longer before Jihun finally opted out. As much as he’d probably love to be with Seungjun longer, he made an excuse that he was still tired and wanted to go home and rest. Seungjun figured the boy was feeling guilty for keeping him so long, but still motioned to take him home. After all, that’s what he originally promised to do in the morning, and to Dahye the night before. It was only right that he lived up to it, like any good friend would. 

Some bus stops toward the other end of town, the two got off in a more calm neighborhood. The buildings were dated and the roads were tiny and hilly which was frustrating for Seungjun who hated long walks especially uphill. Lucky for him, Jihun lived at the very top of the nearest hill. How convenient, he thought, and trudged his way up behind Jihun. Jihun meanwhile was very much reluctant to drag him along, noticing pretty soon how devastated Seungjun was upon seeing the hill. Though, he did little to resist him and quietly led them both toward his miniscule apartment building. It probably only fit two or three actual rooms, so it begged the question: did Jihun live alone?

“Kinda tiny place for a roommate huh?” Seungjun suggested between pants as he caught up. He stood on the stoop beside Jihun as the guy unlocked the front door.

Leading them both into the foyer, Jihun leaned on the railing of the stairs that took up most of the hallway. He gave Seungjun a moment to catch his breath before making him climb even further up. “I don’t have a roommate. These were some of the cheapest places in the city so I took it.”

Seungjun blinked and put one foot on the first step, getting a feel for the last hurdle in his way. “So what… you spend all your time here alone?” Seungjun perfectly understood personal space and having time to yourself, but considering what he knew about Jihun’s personality already, he figured he didn’t have many friends in the first place. This would be even more pathetic in his eyes.

And unfortunately for Jihun, Seungjun hit the nail on the head. Refusing to answer the question directly, the boy started up the stairs and ignored the other guy. Seungjun smirked and followed after, frowning shortly after at how much his legs felt like jelly by now. They made it to Jihun’s apartment on the second floor and Seungjun had never felt more relieved. Jihun flipped through his keys and opened the door, leaving it cracked as he turned to face the other again.

“You want to come in? I can get you some water or something.” The younger boy offered but Seungjun just made a face out of pride.

“I don’t need any water, I’m perfectly fine.” When Jihun just looked him up and down with a doubtful smirk, Seungjun shoved him into the open door. “I’m not a complete weakling okay? You were the one who could barely stand last night let alone walk.”

Jihun laughed loudly as he tripped into his apartment. Seungjun held back a chuckle of his own until he shook his head and shrugged. “No, but really… I don’t need to keep you any longer. Just get some rest, okay? That medicine’s probably gonna wear off soon and your hangover will return with a vengeance.” He grinned momentarily while Jihun giggled at his stupid claim.

Nodding, Jihun’s expression was hard to read from the glare of the window filled with the setting sun behind him, but he looked pleased enough as he began to shut the door. “Thanks Seungjun… it was fun. I’ll see you later.” In seconds the door shut and Seungjun stood facing the cracked paint while Jihun’s footsteps receded further into the room. Seungjun smiled to himself and headed downstairs, catching the next bus toward his own side of town.

Seungjun barely made it back before the sun was completely gone from the sky, the stars arising in a purple layer filling the atmosphere above him. He breathed in the crisp air of a pleasant Spring night just as he entered his own building. Making it back to his apartment after being up all night and out all day, it finally hit Seungjun just how exhausted he was. Instantly he took off his pants and with little energy to do anything else, moved into his own room and tossed the sheets aside. It took him only a few lingering thoughts before he was completely passed out.

The smell of cinnamon and freshly baked bread carried itself through the apartment and acted as Seungjun’s alarm clock. Rubbing his eyes, the boy sat up in his bed and yawned far longer than he expected. Drawn to the source of such a salivating aroma, Seungjun dragged his feet outside his room and toward the kitchen. Youjin must’ve made some new sweets, he thought as he took ahold of a soft and hot bun. Right when he took a bite his senses came back to him and he realized what this meant: Youjin was finally back.

“Did you only just wake up?” His roommate’s soothing voice called out from behind him and the boy spun around. Youjin glared at the half-eaten bun in his hand, still in the middle of preparing an icing to coat them with before Seungjun had a taste. Seungjun gleamed and stuffed his cheeks with the rest, wiping his hands clean and heading into the living room with a glass of water instead. His throat felt incredibly dry for some reason.

“Yeah, but now I feel great. You wouldn’t believe how tired I was yesterday.” Seungjun hummed and took a seat, flipping through some channels on the television for entertainment.

Youjin took a seat next to him on the couch, giving up on the buns for now to question his friend. “You must’ve been pretty tired then… It’s almost four in the afternoon.”

“What?!” Seungjun shot a shocked look his way and looked out the window at the warm glow of an approaching sunset. Throwing his head back, he groaned and held his forehead, scratching his messy hair while Youjin chuckled.

“What? Did you stay up all night doing homework?” Youjin was honestly curious.

Seungjun simply shook his head, then fervently shook his finger toward the other. He grinned with a cheeky intent. “I actually spent all day with Jihun yesterday.”

Youjin blinked and raised an eyebrow. “That’s… unusual.” Then he smirked, “So did you stay up all night doing him?”

The remote was thrown his way, but it hit his leg instead. Youjin rubbed the spot while Seungjun gagged. “Nothing like that! Okay, so I spent the whole day with him because I felt bad about the night before.” Before Youjin could make a snide comment about that detail, he continued, “After the game we all went out drinking and Jihun like the idiot he is couldn’t hold his alcohol. I brought him back here because I didn’t know where he lived and then he…” Seungjun recalled the kiss and squirmed in his seat. “He started ranting about how shitty I’ve been! He kept going on and on about how I’m a selfish asshole who was only after Yuji…”

Youjin stared at him until he couldn’t hold it in anymore and sputtered out a laugh. Curling up and holding his gut, he held his face until he finally caught his breath and the laughter settled. Seungjun merely glared at him all the while. Youjin tossed the remote back to him and leaned on the back cushion. “Didn’t I tell you that from the beginning? He’s not just some tool for you to use to get what you want. He’s human too you know.”

Seungjun scoffed. “I know that okay? Why do you think I spent the whole day with him after?” He faced the television and blindly flipped through more channels. “I was up all night after that thinking about what he said and decided to treat him for the day. I’m not that bad.”

Youjin watched as Seungjun pouted and smiled himself. “So what’d you guys do then?” He acted a little more seriously to not rile Seungjun up anymore.

“Not much.” The boy shrugged and settled on some cartoons. “I just took him downtown and we looked around a few places. I got him some nicer clothes… and coffee. We actually hung around awhile and talked a lot.” Seungjun smiled as the show went on to commercials. “We looked at some books and I got him this one I was really interested in. He’s gonna let me borrow it later.” He chuckled to himself as he remembered Jihun falling on his butt at the bookshop. “He’s probably as klutzy as I am, he fell over at the store. Oh and he tripped over himself when I took him home.” Youjin didn’t say a word to interrupt him as Seungjun’s expression glowed the longer he went on. “That’s probably because I kept pushing him though…”

“Sounds like you had fun.” Youjin interjected when Seungjun finally went silent.

The boy looked back at him while trying to be nonchalant. “It was alright, Jihun’s not too bad.”

Nodding, Youjin looked at the television now as well, though not really paying attention to what was playing. “I guess that’s what happens when you actually get to know someone. He probably doesn’t think you’re too bad anymore either.”

Before Seungjun realized a huge smile was on his face, he changed the subject. “You ‘got to know’ that upperclassman too didn’t you?” He wiggled his eyebrows at Youjin followed by a wink.

Youjin rolled his eyes a bit, then staring at the television intently. He tried to hide the redness in his face from his pesky roommate until he finally gave it up. “She’s actually my girlfriend now…”

It took Seungjun a moment, but once he processed that comment, he lit up and hollered. “Oh my God! Oh my God! Are you serious?!”

Youjin’s ears already started throbbing from pain. “Yes, okay? I asked her to be my girlfriend over the weekend and she said yes so now we’re… dating, I guess…” Telling all this to someone like Seungjun was so embarrassing, especially with how the boy stared at him with a glint in his eyes. “We went on a few dates already for months now so it’s not that strange.”

“So then what made this one so special huh?” Seungjun chimed with his creepy grin. He was persistent despite the obvious blush spread across Youjin’s face.

“Well this time… we…” He started and cleared his throat, not daring to look at his friend who was starting to catch on. “We might’ve… done something--”

“Did you really have sex with her?!” Seungjun yelled at his friend. Youjin scratched his ear and took a moment, but finally nodded with suspended breath. Seungjun kicked his foot at Youjin’s leg while laughing. He was happy for Youjin for getting a girlfriend, but still a little put-off by his choice. “She’s so tiny, she looks like a middle-schooler! How could you sleep with a girl like that?”

Youjin groaned and pushed his leg off the couch. “Would you shut up? She’s older than me and looks perfectly fine…”

Seungjun protested. “Still seems creepy. You probably almost crushed her.” When Youjin ignored him, Seungjun made another snide comment. “Did you at least make sure she was okay after?”

With little patience left, Youjin got up and stormed into the kitchen, taking his frustration out on painting the buns sloppily with his icing mix. He muttered some complaints under his breath when Seungjun rolled his eyes and followed him into the kitchen. “Oh come on, I’m just joking. I’m sure you two are really cute together.” He chortled between his words, “Like any grown man and little girl would be--”

The elder man slammed his spatula onto the countertop and shouted out, “She’s small, so what? She’s still a woman.” Facing Seungjun, he didn’t stop lashing out. “She’s studying to be a doctor, and she’ll be a good one. I don’t care if everyone thinks she’s weird or some kid, because to me she’s not! She’s funny, beautiful, and a lot more thoughtful than you.”

“Youjin, I--”

“You can be a real asshole sometimes Seungjun. You might not be serious about relationships or commitment, but don’t assume everyone’s like you.” Youjin scolded and Seungjun was frozen in place. “If you actually loved anyone you’d understand. You’d want to punch anyone who meant bad about someone you love. Right now, it’s you I really wanna punch. Right in the face.” He was mere inches from Seungjun’s face at the moment, fist balled at his side as he controlled himself. Finally he stepped back and leaned on the counter, staring at the buns while biting his lip.

Seungjun couldn’t even look him in the eye and looked at his own feet in guilt. “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. She’s probably really great. I’m happy for you.” His tone was somber and loud despite the sound of the television carrying on from the other room. Walking up next to Youjin, he got a better look at his bothered expression and grabbed the spatula himself. Taking the bowl of icing into his arms, he scooped some out and started finishing the rest for his friend.

They were both silent for a while until Youjin sighed and patted his friend’s back. “I’m sorry too…” There wasn’t much else to say between them both, but they both got the message and warmed up some more. Seungjun finished icing the last of the sweets and licked the spatula in front of the other until he snapped it out of Seungjun’s hands. “Now that, I won’t forgive you for. Gross.” Seungjun laughed and scooped out some of the extra icing with his finger, running off to watch whatever new show was coming on before he was whacked on the head by his armed friend.

Once Youjin joined him in the living room again, they both stared mindlessly at the kids’ show playing on the screen. It was Seungjun that broke the silence with a bashful question. “Hey, Youjin… could I ask you a favor?”

Youjin looked to him in his periphery, then blinked back at the television. “Yeah?”

“Tomorrow, could you make a lunch for Jihun? I’m gonna visit him at practice.” Seungjun asked so calmly that the feeling behind it was unclear. The only thing that was clear was that the both of them were very much done with taking jabs at each other’s love lives. While Youjin could’ve made another snarky remark, he instead quietly nodded in agreement.

“Sure. I’ll leave it in the fridge.” He answered with reservation and the two didn’t say a word after, not even a comment about Seungjun’s pleased little smile as the show cut to a commercial break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't necessarily where I wanted to end this chapter, but I didn't expect these scenes to be so long so I cut it in half lmao.


	4. Beyond the Visible Spectrum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY!!! This was supposed to be out like months ago but, well, it was a long one again... this wasn't even where I wanted to end /this/ one either but it's better to post it now lmao....

Flipping through his phone, Seungjun read through the few texts he’d gotten from Jihun the night before again. He had nearly forgotten to even ask when practice was held and only remembered when Youjin had scolded him about it. Jihun answered right away that he could come anytime between noon and four in the afternoon, so Seungjun being as lazy as he was told him he’d head over by three at the latest. Checking the clock on his phone, it was already half past two by the time he turned the corner and spotted the gym up ahead. He was earlier than he thought he’d be and felt proud of it.

He was actually glad knowing how close he lived to the school’s gym now. More importantly, he was relieved it was close since he had to lug so much food with him. He was planning on just taking the lunch Youjin made with him to class, but the guy just had to go all out. When he opened the fridge this morning after his roommate had already left for class, there were probably five plastic containers full of food. There was one with a weird stir-fry with peppers and rice, another with a colorful salad sealed inside, and a smaller container filled with a soup of sorts. There was even a small portion of the cinnamon buns in another container that made Seungjun drool. Though the boy made a sound of disappointment and frowned when he realized the note on that stack said “For Jihun” while the tiny container next to it all with what looked like leftovers from a dinner that Youjin made was designated for himself. Rolling his eyes at how generous his own roommate was to a stranger over him, Seungjun had reheated it all when he came back from his classes and packed it up again in his bag before heading off.

Now he was inside the gym, glad that the smell of the food on his back was masking the sweaty aroma of the place. Looking around at some of the other students lifting weights and running on treadmills, Seungjun was reminded of just how much he loathed anything physically exhausting. Just the walk here was enough to make him tired. He was pathetic, he knew that, but he wasn’t usually one to surround himself with people who actually cared about their health and bodies and wallow in it like he was now. Speeding through the halls, he came to some large doors that opened into the seats watching over the basketball court below. Seungjun sat down on a bench close enough for him to see what was happening as the players continued their practice like no one was even there. In fact, no one was there now that Seungjun got a good look around the place. It was a wonder where Inseong’s fangirls were at such an intimate time like this.

Speak of the devil, Seungjun’s eyes caught sight of the charismatic captain drilling his team through some plays. He pulled off some more excellent footwork and worked on passing the ball to what looked like his team in this practice match going on. Some other kids were running simpler drills on the sidelines, but peeked up and lost focus as they watched the mock game going on. Inseong raced across the court and caught a pass, sinking the ball into a nice three-pointer until someone from the opposite team caught the rebound. Dribbling down the opposite end of the court, they passed it between two other people before it finally landed in Jihun’s hands. Without a second to lose, he tossed it up and scored back the three points they’d lost.

Seungjun’s eyes were glued on the intense back-and-forth. He was amazed Jihun was keeping up so well. Suddenly Inseong raced across the court to shoot until he ran into Jihun who had him marked. With caution, he tested Jihun a few times, ignoring all the calls to pass the ball, until finally he spun around and swiped past Jihun to take a quick shot. Landing the last few points his team needed, the guys on the sidelines and the ones on Inseong’s team cheered. Even a few on Jihun’s team clapped in awe at their fantastic captain. Inseong gleamed and ran back to Jihun, ball held at his side as they both tried to catch their breath. Inseong was pointing out some spots around the court, wrapping an arm around the boy and telling him stuff that was indistinguishable to Seungjun from where he was at. Instead, Seungjun got up and moved closer, thinking that there might be a good moment for him to speak with Jihun soon.

Much to his surprise, he caught the end of the one-on-one that wasn’t so quiet. “Why should the coach even bother putting you in if you’re just gonna make the same mistakes? Huh?” Inseong held on until Jihun nodded in understanding, his head low as his chest heaved in and out from exhaustion. Inseong smiled briefly and smacked his hand on Jihun’s back. “Good, then practice some more. I don’t want you making stupid mistakes again like that last game.” He started to leave, bouncing the ball as he shouted back, “It’s the quarterfinals you know!”

“Hey, do you need something?” Seungjun snapped out of his eavesdropping when a guy from the team called out to him. He blinked and quickly realized how awkwardly he was just frozen in the stands. Seungjun stared back at the kid, startled by how his cover was blown. Whatever sort of cover he imagined he had, that is.

Seungjun nodded toward the crowd on the court taking a water break and answered, “Oh I’m here for Jihun…”

With a nod of understanding, the kid jogged off to Jihun sitting on a bench cooling off. He tapped Jihun on the shoulder and pointed back toward Seungjun in the old bleachers. Jihun spun around in surprise, but immediately stood up and turned away from Seungjun when he spotted him. Seungjun laughed to himself. He didn’t think Jihun would be this embarrassed by him being here. He stood up when he saw Jihun twist his water closed and head his way in the stands. The boy tried to rush to clean his face of the sweat and patted his forehead down with the bottom of his shirt, but didn’t realize that Seungjun could clearly see his chest that was hidden underneath. Seungjun had gone on about how Jihun was better looking than he thought, but he was only surprised even more. He looked away in a bit of bashfulness; he didn’t want to be caught staring at the kid’s toned body like some pervert.

“I didn’t think you’d actually come to be honest…” Jihun laughed, though he sounded somewhat nervous.

Seungjun looked back at him and grinned while the boy tried to push some of his sweaty hair back. He motioned at his bag, “I brought you some lunch… if you can take a break.”

Looking back at the other players talking amongst themselves and joking around, Jihun smiled back at Seungjun and nodded. “Yeah, let’s go outside.” Though Jihun seemed pretty cautious for some reason, when he led Seungjun toward a bench outside he looked fairly giddy. It was always moments like now when he was clearly ecstatic about something that Jihun seemed cute.

As the two sat down, Jihun moved a leg under his other and faced Seungjun, fiddling with the water bottle in his hands while he watched the other. Seungjun pulled out the various containers of food and laid them all out neatly between them both. Jihun’s jaw dropped at the sight and caused Seungjun to laugh a bit himself.

“Why did you make so much?” Jihun’s voice trailed off into laughs.

Seungjun sighed, “I didn’t plan on it, Youjin was the one who made it.” When Jihun looked up with a lost daze about him, Seungjun clarified. “My roommate loves to cook so he made you all this.”

Jihun’s eyes widened as he shot glances back and forth between the food and the guy in front of him. “You mean all this is supposed to be for me?”

When Seungjun nodded, Jihun looked deterred. Grabbing onto his own container of food, Seungjun reached out and patted his shoulder. “If you need help, I’m right here.”

Much to Seungjun’s dismay however, the boy soon got over his intimidation and gained confidence. “Don’t worry, eating is my forte.” He joked and Seungjun faked a gag at his cheesiness. The two laughed as they both opened up their food, digging in like hungry wolves.

Seungjun ate slowly, preferring to watch how Jihun reacted to each item rather than gorge on his less-than-fulfilling leftovers. It was much more satisfying to see the boy taste each dish and transition into a state of bliss. Jihun oozed sounds of pleasure as he shut his eyes tight and threw his head back after a spoonful of the soup. He mumbled words of how delicious everything was through all the food stuffed into his mouth, entertaining Seungjun without even trying.

Poking at his own food, Seungjun relished in the nice break they had for the time being. It was definitely quieter in this little area tucked away from the world; the sunshine not overbearing and the breeze not too strong. It was the perfect spot that Seungjun didn’t want to leave anytime soon. He probably would’ve even taken a nap here had he gotten the chance.

Instead, he filled his stomach with his roommate’s cooking and watched every little habit of Jihun’s as the boy ate his fill. Jihun swiveled his foot on the ground left to right, nodded to himself as he looked at the food he’d just taken a bite out of, pushed his hair back every now and again, and other little details that made it seem like Jihun was enjoying the break. Seungjun began to feel a bit proud again, though more for not making things awkward between them like he had a week ago. If anyone saw them now they’d probably think the two were the closest of friends, Seungjun thought.

“So how’s practice been?” Seungjun thought he might as well start some small talk.

Jihun glanced up, but quickly looked back to his food and shrugged, somewhat disinterested in the topic. “Alright. Same as usual.”

Seungjun smirked, “So you always lose in your practice games?”

The boy laughed once and told him to shut up, but hardly added anything else. “I always play the team opposite Inseong, since we’re the same position. It’s not weird that his team wins a lot.”

“What are you saying? You’re good too.” Seungjun tried to encourage him, but did feel deep down how much more impressive Inseong was. He only now realized that Jihun seemed to acknowledge it too. “You’ve had to have won some matches right?” While Seungjun finished off his food, Jihun wordlessly pushed some of his own around. Seungjun blinked and looked at him like he actually did say something, and that something was incredibly ridiculous. “Are you serious? You haven’t won any?”

“He’s better than me, it’s not surprising...”

“Still, what’s the use in practice if it doesn’t help you?” The older boy felt offended  _ for _ Jihun all of a sudden. He understood fully that Inseong was the team’s captain and star player, but something felt odd about Jihun’s status on the team. Sighing, Seungjun complained some more. “He sounded so harsh too--”

“Inseong’s just stressed because of the championship, he doesn’t want to let us down so he’s a little… more forward.” Jihun defended his captain sharply and started stuffing his face again. Between mouthfuls of food he added, “I’m not a wimp, I can handle criticism…” Swallowing the last scraps he opened his water and smirked at Seungjun. “You probably wouldn’t last a day though.”

Seungjun motioned to push him in retaliation until he realized Jihun was taking a sip from his water. Unwilling to risk spilling it all over them, he just frowned instead and threw their garbage into the nearest trash bin, collecting the empty containers into his bag. While Jihun moaned about how good the meal was, licking some icing from the buns off of his fingertips, he stood up and stretched his limbs for a few seconds each. It was clear he had to get back to practice though neither of them really wanted to leave this nice little getaway.

“I have practice until four and then I have to go to work…” Jihun sounded a bit sad knowing his time with Seungjun was limited.

Seungjun on the other hand was very much oblivious. “The library right? I can walk you over. I was gonna stay and watch the rest of your practice anyway.” Making it sound like it wasn’t a big deal, he started ahead of Jihun and waited for him at the doors while the boy trailed behind in slight disbelief. He only just started to understand how little Jihun expected from Seungjun all the time.

“Are you sure? It’ll be pretty boring and I know how impatient you can be.” Jihun slipped inside and avoided another shove from the guy as they moved like snails through the hall.

Seungjun chuckled and retorted, “You know me so well after just a week. Stalker.” Jihun smirked and kept his face lowered, hidden from view. He was embarrassed and Seungjun thought it was endearing. Once they made it back into the court, the two split up and Seungjun headed back into the stands. This time he found a spot in the first row, tossing his bag onto the seat next to him and enjoying a closer view of the practice. The players were already assembled into smaller groups and going through cycles of defense plays when Jihun rejoined them. He was placed into a group defending one of the baskets while a few other members tried different maneuvers around them. There was probably another hour of practice left and some points were boring as a bystander, but the moments where Jihun got to show off his skills were entertaining. It was like seeing a completely different side of the guy. He was focused and confident in his actions. Seungjun thought of Jihun as a mousey kid, but seeing him doing even redundant drills out there was like watching his favorite singer or actor in person. There was a newfound charisma about him that Seungjun just couldn’t take his eyes off of.

In a flash, Inseong had rounded everyone up and gave his final thoughts for the day. If there was one constant throughout the practice that Seungjun noticed it was just how much control Inseong had over the team. It didn't even seem like their coach was around either. He’d probably just ask Jihun about it when he saw him again soon. The group started cleaning up the place and gathering their things which became a cue for Seungjun to head toward the locker rooms. He figured he’d wait outside there for Jihun in the meantime.

It didn’t take long for some members of the team to start coming out, taking a glance at Seungjun in surprise when they opened the door and quickly moving on after. After more than half the team had left, rushing off to their homes and classes, the door swung open and nearly smacked Seungjun in the face. Two guys walked out, laughing loudly about something when they realized the tall boy was waiting by the wall nearby.

“Well, didn’t think I’d meet you again like this.” The team’s captain laughed as he stopped and looked Seungjun up and down. Seungjun blinked and smiled politely at Inseong, standing upright and greeting him in return.

“Oh, Inseong! It’s nice to see you…” Seungjun admired the captain for his hard work and talent, but greeting him that way felt a little odd for some reason.

Inseong grinned back at him and readjusted the bag over his shoulder. “Seungjun, right? We didn’t get to really talk much last time.” He looked around the halls with some confusion. “So what are you doing here? Trying out for the team?”

Seungjun laughed and shook his head. There was no way something like that had ever crossed his mind. “No, no. I just came to watch practice.”

“You came to see Jihun right?” The boy next to Inseong cut in and the two looked back at him. It was the boy from earlier who called out to Seungjun and let Jihun know he’d come for him. He was shorter than the both of them, but his eyes were so piercing as they stared right at Seungjun. It felt almost as if the boy could see right through him somehow as he spoke so bluntly. “You two had lunch didn’t you?”

Inseong looked at his friend in surprise and blinked at Seungjun expectantly. “You did?” He chuckled and nudged at his teammate. “If only our friends brought us lunch. None of them wanna come see a bunch of sweaty guys have practice though…”

The smaller boy rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, judging the captain so openly. “Hyung, you shouldn’t complain. If you let the girls come to practice all your fans would bring enough food for all of us.” He sighed and looked back at Seungjun, complaining about their rules in a passive manner. “Our captain here banned girls from coming to practice a while back. Said they were ‘too distracting’.”

Inseong frowned and poked his head, pushing him slightly with little force. Though, it was enough to make the boy stumble slightly to the side. “Hey, we need all our focus on the game, alright? What, with the coach sick this semester…”

“Sick?” Seungjun finally chimed in, naivety written all over his face.

Inseong sighed and nodded, rubbing the back of his neck like it was sore. “Yeah, unfortunately. I’ve had to lead the team most days all season. Coach will come to games if possible, but practices are in my hands…” Rolling his head left to right, the captain cracked his neck and bemoaned the situation. “It’s rough having to do everything, especially when your only sub is shit.”

Seungjun furrowed his brow, pondering over what he meant. Was he talking about Jihun? He almost wanted to say something, but held his tongue in doubt.

The smaller boy sighed himself and shook his head. “Here we go again…’

The captain scoffed. “Look, it’s not my fault he acts so slow on the court. I have to say something dozens of times before it gets through that stupid head of his.” The two were definitely talking about Jihun, Seungjun was sure of it, and it twisted his stomach into knots. He desperately wanted to cut in and defend the guy, but these were words coming from the team’s captain himself. Not to mention how fervently Jihun had defended Inseong earlier, it deterred Seungjun from speaking up and he just stood there like a wallflower until finally the guy grinned at Seungjun. “I try to go easy on him because I’ve known him so long but sometimes it’s too much…”

The other player rolled his eyes and added sarcastically, “Yeah, yeah. I think you’re really just jealous of him.”

Inseong snapped back, exasperated. “Me?! Jealous of Jihun?” He scoffed and laughed loudly at the thought, Seungjun and the other kid eyeing each other with surprise. “Now what in the world would make you think that?”

The shorter of the three shrugged and smirked at Seungjun. “Probably because he has a friend like Seungjun here who actually brings him delicious food.” He nudged the tall boy, lips curled upwards in a mischievous grin. “You should’ve heard Jihun in the locker room earlier. ‘Ah~ lunch was so good, I’m so full. I hope he does it again tomorrow’...” It was scary how well this kid imitated Jihun, though Seungjun’s thoughts were preoccupied by the fact Jihun was so enamored with his visit.

Before the kid could finish his impression of Jihun’s cooing and awwing, Inseong rolled his eyes and pulled him away, starting off and finally excusing themselves once he’d had enough. “We’ll stop bothering you now, nice seeing you again Seungjun!” The captain called out with a bright smile, his cheeks and eyes practically twinkling from sheer charisma as he dragged his friend down the hall with him. Seungjun waved back to keep up his manners, but something unsettling still itched at his spine the more he got to know Inseong.

“Hey if you make some more food, bring some for me too next time okay? For Oh Heejun!” When he got smacked on the head by Inseong, the boy rubbed the spot and waved back at the acquaintance laughing to himself by the locker room exit. At least there was someone like Heejun on the team, Seungjun thought in relief.

Another minute later and the doors opened slowly, Jihun peeking around the hall until he spotted his friend waiting for him behind the door. The boy’s face lit up though he tried to not show how pleased he was. “Ready?” As he stepped out Seungjun could see he’d changed into a t-shirt and jeans, hair wet from whatever quick shower he took.

Seungjun smirked as they headed down the hall, “I should ask you that. You always take forever in there.”

Jihun adjusted his gym bag and shrugged. The two made it outside, the sunlight making them flinch while the noise from cars and students rushing past muffled their conversation. “What, are you talking about the last time you waited for me?” Jihun peered straight ahead as they maneuvered toward the library across campus. “That was because I had to do something else, I’m usually pretty quick like today.”

With a scoff, Seungjun eyed him up and down like he was deluded. “Quick? Half the team was out within a few minutes. What, do you take a bubble bath while you’re in there?” He joked and won a laugh from Jihun who was annoyed at his teasing.

“Hey, do you want me to smell like sweat every time we meet?” They stopped at a crosswalk, both with hands in their pockets and looking everywhere else but at each other. Finally Jihun eyed Seungjun back and wiggled his eyebrow. “Unless of course that’s what you’re into.” He teased back and Seungjun made a gagging noise while Jihun chuckled. The sign notioned it was okay to cross and they moved forward more slowly, in step with each other though they hardly noticed it.

Seungjun huffed, “Even I have better standards than that, that’s disgusting.” There was a long pause between them as their giggles died off, a block or two passed by when Seungjun finally cleared his throat. There was a question holed up in his throat the whole walk until now that he could hardly suppress anymore. “So what was it that kept you so late last time?” That was the night he’d waited so long for Jihun to come out, enough to make him angry at the kid and lash out at him like the selfish prick he had been for a while. He didn’t want Jihun to think he was still angry about that night and tried to at least listen to him now, though it probably didn’t even matter at this point.

Jihun shifted the strap over his shoulder and looked at all the other people on the other side of the street, away from Seungjun. “I just had to stay behind and do some stuff…” He was so vague that Seungjun almost wanted to scold him again, but he refrained. There was something about Jihun’s answer that felt uncomfortable, though he still wanted to hear him out.

“What was it you had to do?” He kept it cool. There was no sense in making things more tense between them over a simple inquiry.

Jihun scratched his nose as they turned the corner, the library in sight a block or two ahead. “Well I made a lot of mistakes in the game that cost us some points, so Inseong told me to go shoot fifty baskets.” Seungjun’s eyes widened but before he could even say anything, Jihun defended the man again. “It’s not a big deal, he’ll get on the others’ cases too if they mess up, I was just pretty bad that game.”

“You were fine, I didn’t even know you played that good.” Seungjun intervened and glanced the boy’s way, biting his tongue from being completely harsh on Inseong. On one hand, he understood how the captain was pressured and had to lead their team to victory, but on the other something felt off about how hyperfocused he was about Jihun specifically. “But you guys  _ won _ , and other people made mistakes, so isn’t that kind of… mean?”

“Not really,” Jihun started and Seungjun held his breath, already sick of how passive he was about it all. “Fifty baskets isn’t that bad, it just took me a while because most of the balls were locked up already and the lights went off halfway through…”

“Are you serious?” Seungjun’s jaw hung open in disgust. How could their team captain make Jihun do that in those circumstances? Not to mention how Seungjun treated him afterwards… It was no wonder that Jihun felt like shit that night. Seungjun sighed and stared at all the people moving in and out of the library just ahead of them. “I don’t think it was right for Inseong to make you do that.”

Jihun scoffed and retorted, “So you think you know better than the captain?”

Seungjun was slightly shocked, paused outside the entrance to the library, Jihun stopped on the first step in front of the building. Seungjun looked up at him, trying and failing at understanding the other boy. “I’m not saying that… why are you so defensive of that guy anyway?”

“‘That guy’ is someone I’ve known since high school. I’ve only really known  _ you  _ two weeks. I’m pretty sure Inseong and I understand each other better than most people…” Jihun’s sarcasm became pretty clear.

Seungjun crossed his arms and leaned on one side, completely fed up with the attitude Jihun was giving him when he was only trying to understand and help him. “Well does he know you like guys?” Jihun instantly looked away, the answer unspoken yet understood. The boy eyed some of the groups of people fair distances away from them just to make sure they didn’t hear. That was when Seungjun’s eyes lit up and he nodded to himself at a sudden realization. “Ah, you liked him didn’t you?”

Seungjun expected to have guessed right, but when Jihun looked back at him with such a strange expression he started to regret what he said. It was hard to read what Jihun was thinking, the boy’s gaze cold and piercing, right through Seungjun. Before the older boy could make any other stupid comments, Jihun shook his head and laughed once out of the corner of his mouth. “Thanks for lunch, I gotta go to work.” Seungjun wanted to call out to him and tell him how sorry he was for making such a stupid suggestion, but the boy turned and marched up the stairs and into the building too quickly, his backside tensed and fist balled at his side. Great, Seungjun thought, another mistake for his list of fuck-ups.

Unwilling to have a run-in with Jihun while he was mad and on the job, Seungjun abandoned all plans of spending some quality time in the library for the day. He stood on the steps for a while, debating over what to do. How should he talk to Jihun without making him even more angry? Sure he already upset him before and they got over it fine, but that was because the kid was drunk out of his mind and forgot all about it the next day. Then suddenly, Seungjun scoffed and started walking toward the nearest school building. Why did Seungjun have to be the bad guy all the time? He was actually trying to understand and help his friend this time. Did Jihun really value Inseong over him? Seungjun sped up his pace and scoffed again, dumbfounded. Jihun was the one being ridiculous, not Seungjun. It was the kid’s problem if he overreacted in such a simple situation, not his.

Dropping his bag on a table once he arrived, the tall boy huffed and fell into his seat in frustration. He couldn’t get over how annoyed their whole little argument had gotten him. He’d thought about just going home instead, but by now Youjin would be back. His roommate would probably just interrogate him about why he looked so sour and end up taking Jihun’s side in the end. No, instead Seungjun found a spot at a table in the foyer of some building for classes and pulled out his work from his bag. Tugging his books from between the empty containers stuffed inside, he opened to his assigned pages and leaned over the table. His eyes moved over the words but he wasn’t taking in any of the information they offered. His mind was still swarming with regrets and complaints. Eventually he stopped reading altogether and just stared at the pages under him, pen limp in his hand until he gave up and pulled out his phone. Flipping through some emails and messages, he scrolled through his contacts with uncertainty. Should he just call someone to hang out with and distract himself? It had been a while since he’d met up with Yuji outside of class. She might be able to help out in a situation like this anyway. He might even look like a concerned boyfriend in the end and win some points for impressing her, he thought. Finger motioning over her name, he bit his lip in hesitation. For some reason it just felt weird to seek her out in a time like this.

“Seungjun?” A voice abruptly called out, quiet though close as a girl stood on the other side of his little table. Seungjun looked up and blinked, then instantly beamed at the sight of Haeryeong standing before him.

Standing up rashly to greet her, Seungjun’s knees hit the underside of the table and made a loud noise, his things almost falling off if the both of them hadn’t held the table in place from instinct. Some of the coffee in a cup Haeryeong was holding had spilled across the table and splashed onto his notebook. The frail girl set down the two drinks she had onto the table and threw her hands on the notebook, dabbing away with her sleeve to try and clean it up until Seungjun intervened. He laughed at how alert and worried she was about the spill and brushed the whole thing off, “It’s fine, it’s fine! Don’t bother, you’ll just stain your shirt…” Reaching out, Seungjun grabbed ahold of her wrist gently, getting her to stop after a brief moment. Haeryeong looked from the notebook to her wrist, then to Seungjun with some surprise. Seungjun on the other hand just turned her arm around slightly in his hands and frowned. “See? Now there will probably be a stain. It didn’t burn you, did it?” He looked back to Haeryeong, unabashed by their contact as he held her arm with a delicate grip.

After a second to process what he was asking, she looked away at the table and shook her head. Pushing some hair behind her ear, she smiled and clarified, “It was an iced coffee so it’s fine. This is an old shirt anyway…”

Nodding, Seungjun finally let go of her arm and gathered his books together. Not like he was really studying anyway. Seungjun sat back down and Haeryeong followed suit, sitting across from him as she offered one of the cups to him. Her bright smile radiated within their dark little corner. “Here, I thought you could use this.”

A pleasant surprise, Seungjun reached out and took the cup, looking it over before sipping at it and staring back at it wide-eyed. “You got this for me?” He sounded genuinely confused and it made the girl giggle.

“Yeah, I saw you as I was leaving and you looked so… gloomy.” She was careful with her words but it still embarrassed the boy nonetheless. “Thought some coffee would help wake you up.”

Seungjun gleamed and took a few more sips, the chilled drink cooling his head. After sucking in a few hefty gulps as Haeryeong merely watched, sipping at her own drink, the boy put the cup down and sighed loudly. He threw his head back and groaned under his breath before leaning back on the table, faced with the girl sending him strange looks of curiosity. “You’re right, I’ve been bothered by something since I got here.” Hunched over the table, he rested his head on his arm and looked to Haeryeong for help. She was the best he was going to get at the moment, he might as well take the opportunity now. “If you got into a fight with someone you knew when you were only trying to help them, but they were just being stubborn and wouldn’t listen to you, what would you do?”

His question was indeed sudden and confusing, but as he looked Haeryeong straight in the eye, she blinked and hummed in thought. “Is this… your girlfriend you fought with by any chance?” She asked with a hint of anxiousness in her tone. Seungjun however simply shook his head, his fingers digging further into his cheek and squishing his face so cutely the girl had to hold back a charmed laugh.

“I don’t have a girlfriend, this is about…” He paused. “My friend…” The words moved out of his mouth slowly and uncertain.

The girl nodded, smiling back at Seungjun as she thought some more and sipped at her coffee. “Well…” She started before pursing her lips. Looking back to the boy finally, eyes desperate for aid, she scooted closer toward the table and folded her arms across the top. “Something you said or did must’ve made him angry, right?”

Seungjun frowned, nearly pouting as he defended himself. “I said something kinda stupid, but I was trying to help him out!” He felt the need to explain himself further when she raised an eyebrow in judgement. “Okay, look. My friend is… sort of a pushover. I feel like he lets people walk all over him.”

“Do you walk all over him?” She interjected and the question caught him off-guard. It was true he took Jihun for granted plenty of times already, their whole relationship built on Seungjun blatantly using the kid for his advantage, but he was trying to change that lately. Still, it bugged him enough to make him sit there and dwell on it while Haeryeong smiled sweetly and added her two cents. “I’m sure you’re a good friend and you probably do want to help, but maybe it’s just not your place?” She shrugged her shoulders and rubbed her fingers alongside the half-empty cup in her hand. She eyed the stain on her sleeve with a gentle look across her face. “Sometimes if you get help from the people who you admire most, you end up feeling like it’s a burden to them.” Looking up at the boy pondering over her words in all earnestness, she tilted her head slightly with pink lips curved softly upwards. “I think if you give him time he’ll understand you better. Don’t try to change  _ him _ , you know?”

Seungjun’s eyes widened, bright with the realization that time was the answer. Of course, he’d still apologize for assuming things about Jihun again, though he didn’t plan on pushing him too far anymore. If anything, Seungjun was the one who was willing to change and he was open to it. Laughing to himself, the boy swirled the coffee in his cup around and sat back in his seat. “Sorry for going on about my problems like this… You probably think I’m too much, right?” He joked and the two chuckled a bit.

Though, Haeryeong quickly shook her head and combed her fingers through the lockes of hair trailed in front of her chest. “No, you’re fine. I think it’s nice you care so much, really.” She finished up her coffee and thumbed at the lid before finally asking, “Do you have--” She trailed off, her words inaudible to Seungjun as the boy was soon distracted by his phone buzzing from his pocket. 

Pulling it out and looking through the text he’d gotten, he sneered. It was Youjin checking up on him again.

> _ “So how did Jihun like lunch? Did he eat everything?” _
> 
> _ “You better not have eaten what I saved for him you glutton…” _
> 
> _ “It’s getting dark soon, you’re not staying out too late right?” _

The guy wouldn’t even give him a chance to answer with his sudden bombardment of questions. Sighing, Seungjun stood up and grabbed his bag, excusing himself abruptly. “I have to go actually… But thanks for your advice. I think it really helped.” He smiled as he situated his bag over his shoulders. “I feel a lot better now, to be honest.” Grabbing his cup, he wiggled it beside his face in gratitude. “Also, thanks for this! I’ll have to take you out next time to repay you. You have my number still, right?” Seungjun stared down at the girl as she sat up straight in her seat, head nodding slowly and joy spreading across her face. He beamed, “Good! I’ll get in touch with you soon, I owe you!” He called out as he turned to leave, waving back before he sipped at the remains of his drink while exiting the building. He honestly wouldn’t have minded hanging out with Haeryeong a bit longer, she seemed like a nice enough girl after all, but he was actually antsy to get home right away. He needed to talk with his roommate about what lunch to prepare for Jihun for tomorrow.

Entering the school’s old gym building again, Seungjun drifted past the walls of hefty equipment with bated breath. Mostly, he just didn’t want to breath in the disgusting smell of sweat that circulated through the air, but also the guy was fairly excited about going to see Jihun’s practice. Namely, he was anxious to meet with Jihun again with some more food in tow, ready to make up for his mistake the day before. He narrowly avoided letting Youjin in on their little argument yesterday, only revealing details about how much Jihun enjoyed the meal his roommate had prepared for him. Seungjun was practically begging for him to make another for the next day as well, though it took little convincing from his end when Youjin was already prideful with all the flattery. Seungjun had known the guy long enough to at least inflate his ego a bit if he wanted anything from him. He was so easy to read sometimes.

Opening the doors to the basketball court, Seungjun snuck inside while practice carried on below. He’d shown up with only an hour left today, preferring to catch Jihun at the end of practice rather than in the middle of it. Not to mention he had a few classes stacked up into the middle of the afternoon that occupied most of his time. He was only hoping his own schedule didn’t mean the food in his bag had gotten bad.

Seungjun took a seat further away from the court, watching on as the team were running some more drills across the entirety of the court. Some small groups were working on layups, others on blocking, while a last group including Jihun were running laps around the court. After the fourth or fifth lap that Seungjun had followed with his eyes, he blinked and held his forehead, a headache rising in the front of his mind just from the endless circles being made. Not only was it dizzying, the guys looked exhausted as they slowed into a jog. He knew this was just a part of practice and the life of an athlete, but it still made someone as lazy as Seungjun unsettled.

A few claps sounded from the center of the court where Inseong stood, calling over everyone eventually as he started their cool-down exercises. They stretched in a circle around the captain, watching on and laughing about a few things the guy pointed out and joked. Seungjun couldn’t hear what the guy had said whatsoever, but that didn’t stop a smile from creeping across his own face as he leaned on his knee and watched Jihun laugh along with the others. Seungjun immediately thought back to the few times Jihun laughed that heartily in front of him, the times when the boy actually enjoyed his company. The times when Seungjun wasn’t screwing up as a friend. Seungjun sighed and leaned back in his seat as he soon thought of the stale, cold laugh Jihun made when he suggested he liked Inseong. Only yesterday as he came to grips with his fault in the situation did he really understand what that laugh and that piercing look in his eyes meant: Jihun couldn’t believe Seungjun would even really think he’d taken any romantic interest in someone like Inseong, that Seungjun after all this time really didn’t seem to understand the kid any better than when they had first met. At least, Seungjun thought now, he was going to make sure Jihun didn’t have to think that again.

Now, Seungjun was completely confident. He was ready to admit to his faults and apologize to Jihun, the food from his roommate bound to help him just in case. It was only when the practice ended a bit early and Jihun spotted Seungjun waiting in the stands that the guy’s blood went cold. He didn’t really understand why, especially after all his anxiousness to hurry and make up with the kid already, but suddenly Seungjun felt nervous, his limbs a bit heavy yet weak as he lugged his bag over one shoulder. The food inside started to feel like dead weight and he even worried once or twice whether it was still any good after being with him for two classes in a row. No, it was probably all warm and rotten now, the smell likely to make Jihun puke if he opened it, he thought. Then Jihun would just scorn him for making him sick and Seungjun would’ve just dug himself a deeper hole.

Violently shaking his head to get rid of those ridiculous doubts, Seungjun let out a breath and got a grip on reality. This wasn’t the time to be so irrational. He was supposed to be the collected one of the two of them. There was no way he was going to look the nervous-wreck Jihun had been the first few times they met. He wasn’t like that, Seungjun wasn’t the type to get so worked up over someone’s opinion of himself. Especially when that someone was Kim Jihun of all people. Or, maybe it was  _ because _ it was Jihun’s opinion that he’d been so worked up.

“You mind waiting while I shower?” A voice called out to Seungjun from the bottom of the stands and he snapped out of it. It was Jihun staring up at him, twisting a cap over his water bottle as he waited for an answer with little expression. Seungjun immediately got up and trailed down the steps, the creaking loud under his feet as he rushed down. He nodded toward Jihun and grinned, but before he could reach him to say anything, Jihun was already turned around and making his way back toward the locker rooms on the other side with the rest of the team. Seungjun slowed his steps and stopped on the first row, watching as the last few guys left into that room behind the old little door in the distance. He’d hoped he would have gotten to say something to the guy, but it seemed like Jihun was hardly tolerating Seungjun’s unannounced appearance as it was. Now alone in the quiet court, Seungjun bit his lip and made his way back toward the exit for the locker room.

It didn’t take long for Jihun to come out. Granted, Seungjun had dragged himself there at such a slow pace, so he hardly had to wait for the kid today. Jihun opened the door and peeked around the corner again, spotting the taller guy sulking against the wall. Looking him up and down, Jihun paused and pushed up the sleeves of his grey sweatshirt. Seungjun spoke up first, “I brought lunch if you’re hungry. Should we eat outside again?” His voice was tense and he eyed his bag instead of the boy in front of him. 

Jihun meanwhile just stared him down before he nodded and started off toward down the hall. “I’m starving, actually.” Jihun added quietly as Seungjun followed closely behind. The older boy wanted to say something still, to get to the point and apologize already, but the words wouldn’t come out of his throat. Just staring at Jihun’s backside made him hesitant. He kept his lips shut tight until they made their way to their little hideout from the day before. It was still shady but now it was cooler than yesterday. Seungjun looked to Jihun’s sweatshirt and envied it just a bit as they sat on the same bench as before. His simple thin coat was hardly as warm.

“Isn’t it a little late for lunch, though?” Jihun suddenly asked as he watched Seungjun empty his bag of the containers of food. 

Seungjun blinked and stared at the food, opening the lids for them both. “It’s not that late…” He shrugged, a pout creeping onto his lips. “It’s not my fault I had classes all day.”

Jihun nodded and sighed. “Alright, I get it. It’s no big deal.” Reaching out for some of the food, he mumbled, “Thanks for the food…” and started digging in. Seungjun merely watched, acknowledging just how easily the boy ignored him. Was Jihun still touchy after the day before? This was exactly what he had been worried about and the anxiety seemed to have yet to leave Seungjun.

Pecking at the food himself, Seungjun swallowed the lump in his throat and finally sat up straight. He looked at Jihun with determination and let it out, “Jihun about yesterday…” He didn’t know what to say exactly. Jihun looked up from the food, cheeks full and eyes wide. He was still chewing his food and trying to inhale more when Seungjun’s mood became so tense. Looking at him now, Seungjun only froze up more; why did he make such a cute face when he was trying to be serious? Gathering his bearings, the older boy scratched his shoulder and continued. “Well, I just wanted to say I’m sorry… about the whole Inseong thing…” While one weight felt like it had been lifted off his chest, another remained waiting for the boy’s response.

Swallowing, Jihun stared at Seungjun with an unaffected look. Instead, he continued picking up some more food and shrugged. “It’s fine. I already got over it yesterday.” Stuffing his mouth full again, he moaned at the delicious taste and grinned. “This is so good…”

“You mean…” Seungjun was stunned by how forgiving the kid was. He thought he’d really messed up and that Jihun was holding a grudge, but now he started to realize just how wrongly he was reading into things. Jihun was sensitive and a pushover alright, but maybe his passiveness wasn’t so bad after all. Seungjun gleamed and built up his appetite, grabbing some of the food before Jihun ate it all himself. “Nevermind.” Jihun shot him a glance and grinned himself, the two quietly fighting over the remainder of the meal instead.

In no time the containers were clear of all crumbs, not a single trace left behind that there was even any food to begin with. Seungjun began putting the empty bins away, cramming them into his bag while neither uttered a word. Standing up, Seungjun finally broke the silence. “Want me to walk you to the library?” He was glad things seemed to be back to normal and naturally beamed at the boy on the bench.

Instead, Jihun let out a simple laugh and grabbed ahold of his gym bag. “I actually don’t have work today…” Looking around the empty little courtyard, he pushed up his sleeves again and shrugged. “I guess I’m free for the rest of the day.”

It definitely sounded like the kid wanted to hang out, but was too shy to really invite Seungjun anywhere. With a smirk, the older boy crossed his arms and swayed back and forth on his heels. “Then what are you going to do?” There was no way he wasn’t going to have some fun teasing the kid. “I don’t really want to waste my day away either.”

Though within a moment, Jihun smirked as well and reached into his bag. Digging through a bit, he finally pulled out a book and showed it off to Seungjun. “I guess I could lend you this so you won’t be too bored…” Upon a closer look, Seungjun realized it was the same novel he’d bought the boy days prior; the exact book Seungjun had been coveting for a long time. Like it was second nature, Seungjun swiped at the book and held it in his hands. For someone who worked at a library, he sure didn’t take care of the book too well. The cover was bent and there was a stain from some drink on the outside of the pages. Still, as he flipped through quickly, Seungjun looked it over and grinned from ear to ear. Jihun watched the guy act so fascinated, like a child who had just gotten a present. “I thought it was pretty good. Took me a while to finish but you’ll probably fly right through it.”

Putting on a serious expression to mask his joy, Seungjun nodded once and held the book at his side. “I guess this would kill some time.”

Jihun let out a breathy laugh and started off back into the gym to leave. “Have fun then!” He called out, but Seungjun quickly followed behind with a bit of shock.

“Wait, where are you going?” He wiped the fake calm look from his face as he caught up with the boy.

Walking down the hall with his hands in the pockets of his sweatshirt, the younger boy glanced at the other with surprise and relief. “I’m going home, where else?”

“You could come to my place.” Seungjun blurted out. Jihun shot him a look like he was caught off-guard, his lips curved into a small pleased grin nonetheless. Holding up the book in his hand, Seungjun gleamed. “I mean I have a bunch more books like this I think you’d like. You can check them out.” They stopped once they made their way out of the building. “I’ve been wanting to suggest you a few things for a while.”

“Really?” Jihun glanced at him before they started off toward the residential area off-campus. “Like what?” Like that was his cue, Seungjun went off, listing several titles and describing every plot like they were all his favorite works he’d ever read. Seungjun was practically glowing the entire time he went on so passionately, Jihun quietly content as he walked alongside him and sneaked a glance or two at Seungjun’s enriched smile. Before they knew it, Seungjun had talked enough that they’d already made it to his apartment building. Following the guy up some stairs, Jihun stopped behind Seungjun as he unlocked the door. The boy peeked inside the quiet room and dragged Jihun inside when he realized his roommate wasn’t around. For some reason, Seungjun just felt having Youjin around when Jihun was over would just be a nuisance.

Seungjun slipped off his shoes and roamed around, turning back to face Jihun as he trailed behind. “Sit wherever you want. I’ll bring them out here to show you.” With a childish smile, Seungjun eagerly rushed off to his room and tossed his bag onto the bed. In an inexplicable hurry, the boy gathered the books he mentioned from his shelf and a few more he forgot to bring up. A pile soon formed in his arms, Seungjun shuffled back into the common space and laid them across the coffee table. Jihun was sitting on the far end of the couch, staring in awe at the amount of novels the guy had brought out to show him. There was no realistic way the kid could take all of these with him today, but at least there was entertainment in seeing Seungjun so giddy about it.

Looking down at the table finally, Seungjun snapped out of his trance of excitement and raised a brow. “What’s all this doing here?” He sifted through some papers on the table under his books, looking it over before the click of a door caught both of the boys’ attention.

Walking out of the hall, Youjin appeared with a startled look on his face. “You’re back already? Oh…” He waved toward Jihun once he noticed the boy across the room, turning his attention back to Seungjun right after. “Why are you messing with my work?” He looked at the papers in Seungjun’s hands while rubbing a towel through his hair.

Seungjun frowned and put the papers down, standing straight as he frowned. Youjin had walked out from a shower and it was obvious with how he was only wearing some underwear with a towel hanging off his shoulders. At least his roommate had a body to show off. It was like seeing an ad with how perfectly some water trailed down across his muscles and it made Seungjun embarrassed for the both of them. Shooing him away, Seungjun complained. “Can’t you put some clothes on first?” Throwing a hand up to shield his eyes, the boy turned his head away and caught sight of Jihun on the couch. The kid was staring at his roommate for a bit before his eyes locked onto the floor. Jihun scratched his head and didn’t look up again until Youjin finally left to go change, leaving Seungjun feeling sour. Shaking it off once his friend was out of sight, he sighed and sat in the nearby chair. Stacking his books more neatly, he peered at the boy sitting across from him whose ears were tinted red.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t even think he was here.” He understood the feeling Jihun had at the moment and really wished that his roommate could be a little less shameless today of all days.

Jihun shook his head and smiled out of politeness. “No, it’s fine. I did come unannounced…” Nodding toward the books he leaned forward and brushed it off. “So which ones should I read?” He took one in hand to look it over while Seungjun explained a bit more. The kid raised an eyebrow at the overexaggerated cover almost every book of the genre had. Seungjun felt the sudden need to explain.

“Well that one’s more of a classic mystery so you might like it. Frankly, it was a bit too simple and I figured it out by the sixth chapter.” He shrugged and grabbed two other books, both hardcover and pristine. “These are probably some of my favorites. I think you should try these first. This one’s a bit more philosophical so it can be confusing, but that one’s a very heavy and interesting story.” He pointed at each novel as he handed them off to the boy, sitting back in his seat and relaxing as he got more and more comfortable in the discussion. Really, it was Seungjun doing all the talking, but Jihun took it all in without a hint of protest.

The older boy only quieted down once his roommate returned, dressed much more modestly now. Youjin looked at the mess on the table, then from Seungjun to his guest and sneered. “What, is he shoving his books down your throat?”

Jihun glanced up at the guy and grinned after a moment, shaking his head a few times. “No I’m just borrowing a few…”

Seungjun glared at Youjin while his roommate joked. “Don’t cater to him too much or he won’t leave you alone about it.” Taking the empty seat on the couch beside Jihun, Youjin cleaned up his work and pushed some of the books out of the way. “I read something he lent me once and he wouldn’t stop trying to get me to read a bunch of other books for weeks.”

“Would you shut up? He actually likes to read, unlike you.” Seungjun retorted and hoarded the rest of his books while Youjin tried to get back to work. They both looked to Jihun who seemed to be a casualty in their sudden bickering.

“Do you like to read?” Youjin asked, staring right at the boy next to him.

Jihun shrugged and played it safe. “Probably not as much as him…”

“I don’t think anyone likes to read as much as him.” Youjin sneered while Seungjun huffed and rose from his seat. He marched into the kitchen to keep himself from chucking a pillow or something more hard and heavy his friend’s way.

He opened the fridge, the clinking of glass bottles and the whirring of the appliance running occupying his ears. That is, until he could hear the murmuring of his roommate from the other room followed by some giggling from his friend. Eyes twitching in annoyance, Seungjun grumbled and grabbed a few drinks from the fridge door. Once he closed the fridge, he just stood there with the drinks in hand until he let out a breath. He should be happy that Youjin seemed to be getting along well with Jihun. In fact, maybe this meeting meant that Youjin would finally realize how ridiculous it was to be falling for Jihun’s victim role and taking the kid’s side all the time instead of his own. He nodded and bit his lip, eyeing the few cans of beer in his hand before walking back to the living room, calmed down by now. It was stupid to let his roommate get to him over stuff as stupid as whatever he was saying to Jihun.

“Thirsty?” Seungjun returned to normalcy and handed Youjin a can, then tossing one Jihun’s way. They both blinked up at him, Youjin unbothered though grateful for the consideration while Jihun looked at them both rather puzzled.

Seungjun sat down in the chair while he opened his own can, the cracking and hissing short lived once Jihun peered at him. “Why do you guys get beer and I get soda?”

The kid was staring straight at Seungjun like he was offended by what Seungjun thought was a kind gesture. Really, Seungjun didn’t even want to think about Jihun drinking again. He didn’t want to risk another circumstance like that night the weekend before, especially with Youjin present. Though, Seungjun didn’t dare let either man in on that reasoning and he coughed deep in his throat. “We ran out, I didn’t think you wanted one anyway.” He answered with lips pressed to the cold can, sipping at the smooth beer and glancing away toward his increasingly ignored pile of novels.

Youjin blinked and set his beer down on the end table next to him. “There’s another box in the back of the fridge, didn’t you see it?” Suddenly his roommate stood up and moved toward the kitchen, glancing back at the boy on the couch. “You’re old enough right?”

Jihun smirked and put the unopened can of soda on the coffee table in front of him. “Duh, I’m not some kid who can’t handle alcohol.”

Seungjun sputtered some of his beer, wiping the dribble off his chin while he coughed a few times. The other two both looked at him with judgemental glances while the guy collected himself. Seungjun sunk into his seat and sipped at the beer in his hand. Just hearing the mere assumption that Jihun was any good with alcohol was startling enough to make Seungjun choke.

Turning away with the flash of concern faded from his face, Youjin went into the kitchen and got out another can, handing it off to Jihun when he came back. The younger boy grinned from ear to ear as he opened it, sipping at it with joy across his whole face like he was fitting in fine all of a sudden. Youjin sat back down in the cushion beside him, leaning over to pull out his glasses and get back to his work from earlier. Putting the thick-framed spectacles on, the older boy hovered over his work and mumbled through his concentration. “You can get back to your book club, don’t mind me.”

Glaring at his roommate for a moment, Seungjun resituated himself in his seat properly. Reorganizing his books onto an empty spot of the table, he looked back to his friend across the way. Jihun however seemed to be distracted, completely moved on from their entire discussion from earlier now that the books he handed him were sitting on the coffee table beside Youjin’s papers. That probably wouldn’t have bothered Seungjun as much, if it wasn’t for what was occupying the boy’s attention. Jihun was sipping at his drink with both hands, a long leg brought up to his chest while the other was curled under him. Though each time he brought the can to his lips, Seungjun caught the boy staring at his roommate with strange focus. 

Seungjun cleared his throat and shifted slightly. “You can take as many as you like with you. Let me know what you think whenever you finish…” Jihun glanced back at him and nodded, eyeing the handful of books once before becoming distracted again. It was like Seungjun wasn’t even there anymore and the guy started to feel somewhat aggravated by it. With a frown, the neglected boy took his remaining pile of books and returned to his room. Tossing them lazily onto his shelf, he dragged himself back into the living room and peered at the sight before him. Jihun was sitting right next to his roommate while Youjin was showing him some things in his notes.

“Yeah… I’m not really sure about it, but I think I remember that has to be simplified first.” Jihun pointed to one part of the notebook, arms brushing against each other as he murmured about solving some sort of math problem to Youjin. The older boy nodded along and fixed some details with a pen, quietly figuring out the equation while Jihun smiled next to him. “Does that make sense? It’s been awhile since I had to do this stuff… so I’m--”

“No, no. It’s fine. I think that’s right.” Youjin turned his head and faced him with a softened grin. “Thanks. It was bothering me all day.” Pushing his glasses up a little further, he turned back to his work and Jihun didn’t budge from his spot. The boy watched Seungjun’s roommate work on the problems, punching in numbers into the calculator and jotting answers down. Though, it was more like he was busy staring at Youjin’s face now, the small grin hardly left his expression.

Seungjun plopped onto the chair, the loud noise of the cushion abruptly being squished from under him winning their attention for a split second. The boy threw them a sour look, though hidden behind his can while he took a few swigs. When Jihun realized Seungjun was staring him down, he finally moved back into his original spot, eyes avoiding the other as he finished off his own beer.

As neither of the two spoke up again, Youjin finally looked up from his work to his roommate, then to the boy next to him. “So… are you guys just gonna sit there then?”

Jihun shrugged from his corner of the couch and he finally looked back to Seungjun across from both of them. Seungjun instead leaned back in his seat, elbows digging into the chair’s arms. “I don’t know… Can’t really do anything with  _ someone _ doing homework in the middle of the room.”

Youjin furrowed his brow and sat up, pen dropped onto his notebook so he could lean on the arm of the couch. “Well I was here first after all. Am I really being that much of a bother?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

Both boys answered at once and twisted the tension in the air more tightly. Seungjun bit his lip and tried to keep himself from complaining about how his roommate was stealing all of  _ his _ friend’s attention. He brought Jihun here to talk about some good books, not for him to ogle Youjin.

Jihun shrugged again and smiled sheepishly. “You should keep working. I don’t mind.” Yeah, he  _ definitely _ didn’t mind, Seungjun thought. Rolling his eyes, he got up to throw out his can but hardly seemed to be missed yet again. He heard some whispering and a bit of laughter and crushed his can, tossing it into the garbage.

A forced smile smeared across his face, Seungjun made his way back into the living room and sat down with a newfound calmness. If Youjin was going to be such a distraction then he’d just have to make him undesirable, Seungjun thought. Staring down his roommate, the boy leaned on the chair’s arm and faked interest. “By the way Youjin, how’s your girlfriend doing?”

Seungjun’s eyes darted to Jihun who shifted in his seat, then back to Youjin who just met his gaze with some bewilderment. The roommate caught in the middle of everything thought for a second and answered. “She’s fine I guess… why do you care anyway? I thought you didn’t like us dating.” Youjin sat back in his own seat and finally opened his beer, the hiss the perfect sound effect for a light going off in his head. “Or are you finally okay with dating out of your comfort zone?” His eyes moved briefly to his left, then back to Seungjun. The smirk crawling up his cheek made Seungjun feel annoyed. He knew exactly what the guy was getting at and frowned at Jihun sitting unperturbed on the other side of the couch. 

Glaring at Youjin, Seungjun slouched in his seat and muttered, “No, I still think it’s a little weird. You’re like twice her size after all.” He turned to Jihun for affirmation. “Don’t you think it’d be weird if you dated someone who looked and sounded like they were twelve?”

Jihun pondered a moment, though it seemed more out of concern for how to properly answer the question without offending either party. “Um…” He started and shrugged with a polite smile. “I probably can’t say, I haven’t really dated anyone so…”

“What do you mean? You’re the one dating a child.” Youjin nodded toward Seungjun, satisfied with his sudden wit. Jihun held in a laugh, catching on pretty quickly and looking slightly bashful about it. Seungjun however was quite slow to get the gist of his roommate’s slander, though quick to chuck the nearby remote his way. Reluctant to get loud and fight back in front of Jihun, Seungjun merely pouted at the older guy, Youjin rubbing his leg where the remote control left a painful red mark behind. Youjin sighed and stood up, collecting his homework to move into his own room rather than be attacked any longer. “I’ll just go before you throw the whole chair my way next.”

“You don’t have to go…” Jihun interjected and leaned forward, finally looking to Seungjun again. Though, not in any manner that would’ve satisfied his host. “We were the ones who came in later, we’re probably bothering you…” He was clearly looking to Seungjun to reaffirm him, but Seungjun was at his wit’s end.

Grumbling, Seungjun instead shot up and reached over, grabbing Jihun’s arm and hoisting him up as well. Glaring at his roommate, he excused themselves before he did something that just made him look even more like a fool. “Yeah, you can stay here Youjin. We’ll just go talk in my room where it’s quiet.” Pulling Jihun along behind him, Seungjun stormed off toward his own room, his roommate contentedly sitting back on the couch behind him.

“Have fun in your room then.” Youjin chimed, pushing Seungjun’s buttons one last time before the two disappeared behind the guy’s door. Seungjun was too easy to mess with, especially when he was already annoyed.

Shutting the door loudly after him, Seungjun sighed and leaned his back against it. His muscles relaxed at the sudden quiet until the creaking of his mattress made him tense again. Looking to his bed, Jihun was already sitting on it, bouncing a bit to test how comfortable it was. After a few tries, he widened his eyes and nodded in approval.

“Your bed’s really soft, no wonder you’re so lazy.” The boy teased until the older stepped over and shoved him hard. Jihun flopped onto his side and laughed to himself. Annoying Seungjun seemed to be the theme for today and it was getting on the guy’s last nerve. Though, he let it slide this time seeing how delighted the kid was about such a stupid thing.

Reorganizing the books he sloppily put away out of frustration earlier, Seungjun faced away from Jihun and added, “Well I find it hard to sleep on anything harder than that. I don’t know how Youjin does it, sitting on his bed is like sitting on a boulder.” He muttered and trailed off with a few other complaints about his roommate until the boy behind him chuckled to himself.

Jihun raised his eyebrows and smirked at Seungjun when he glanced back at him. “Well at least he can cook.”

Rolling his eyes, Seungjun put the last book away in its proper place and scoffed. “Yeah, I’m sure his girlfriend will appreciate it.”

Suddenly a sigh escaped Jihun as he sprawled out across the bed. “I get it, he has a girlfriend. I wasn’t interested anyway.” He played with his loose bangs and stared up at the ceiling while the other boy blinked innocently.

“What do you mean?” Seungjun played coy and pretended he had no idea what the kid was getting at. “You thought… that I thought… that you were interested in  _ him _ ?” He faked a brief laugh and waved his hand back and forth at the thought. Sitting against the edge of his desk, because the chair was filled with a mess of clothes and papers, the boy crossed his legs and arms, tilting his head in feigned ignorance.

Jihun rolled his eyes once he got a look at him and went back to picking at his bangs. “It was pretty obvious…” Sitting up, he leaned back on his palms and shrugged lazily, a playful smile spread across his lips. “He’s not my type anyway. I just liked how he looked in glasses.”

“So you just like glasses…” Seungjun wasn’t going to let up in this sudden game, whatever the objective was. He tilted his head onto the other side and smirked. “Are you sure you didn’t like how he walked out naked?”

Jihun’s eyes moved upwards in thought, then he nodded in the most nonchalant way. “Yeah, I liked that.” When Seungjun looked taken aback and embarrassed, the younger boy lifted himself from the bed and went over to the shelf Seungjun had just organized. He flashed a smile at his host and joked, “I’m allowed to check someone out aren’t I? Since we’re not really dating…”

The older boy stared at the other, fingers curling as he witnessed him recklessly handle his decoratives and toys on the shelf as he explored each level. That had to be why they were curling, after all. The kid seemed to be a lot more carefree about touching things now that they were in Seungjun’s own room. “I guess you’re right,” Seungjun mumbled before he finally snapped up and stopped him from grabbing onto a delicate figurine, hardly held together by the layers of glue all over the stand. Jihun stepped back, stunned from how focused Seungjun suddenly was about placing everything perfectly back onto the shelf. Giggling to himself, the boy sat back down on the bed and just watched the guy quietly. 

Seungjun might’ve seemed like such a dork with how many toys and childish things he had on his shelf, not to mention the rest of the room’s decorative choices, but at least he seemed passionate about something. At least, he’d hoped that’s how others like Jihun took it as.

“I like watching you the most though.” Jihun revealed in a soft voice, ears going red as he realized just how clearly Seungjun heard him.

Turning back to face the boy, Seungjun laughed the sudden awkwardness off, “You’re such a stalker…” They both erupted into laughter, though Seungjun still felt a twist in his gut. It felt weird, but also satisfying and he could only smile the rest of the time they had together.

Nearly half an hour later and the two finally came out of the bedroom, still chatting about some book. Really, it was Seungjun talking ceaselessly about the twist in one of the books he’d lent the kid, not realizing how it was spoiling the book completely. Youjin perked up from his spot on the couch as the two were getting their shoes on, Jihun with three books in tow.

“Heading out?” The older guy called out from across the room while the two glanced back between lacing their shoes.

Seungjun nodded and called back, “Yeah, Jihun said he wanted to get back before it got dark. I’m just walking him to the bus stop.”

Walking over toward the both of them, Youjin had an expression like he didn’t really care what Seungjun was doing, but gleamed when Jihun stood to face him. “Get back safely.” His mother hen mode started to flicker on, though Jihun hardly seemed to notice.

Grinning wide, the younger boy grabbed ahold of his books and his bag, waving back as Seungjun opened the door. “Thanks for the food again today, Hyung!”

Out of sight, Seungjun snapped his head back. Did Jihun just call  _ that guy _ , his roommate, the pseudo-pedophile, the most disgustingly overprotective muscleman he’d known… ‘Hyung’? As Jihun shut the door behind him and they trailed down the hall, Seungjun furrowed his brow. Jihun looked so pleased after that little encounter now too it made the older boy feel nauseous. Once they got out of the building, Seungjun finally brought it up. “Since when did you start calling him ‘Hyung’?”

Looking up with confusion evident on his face, Jihun shrugged and tried laughing it off, as annoyed as Seungjun clearly looked. “Today I guess… He told me it was okay when we were talking earlier.” Suddenly his face lit up and he pulled out his phone, scrolling through and holding it out for Seungjun to see as they headed down the street. “See? He even gave me his number in case I needed anything.”

Once he saw the contact listed as ‘ _ Youjin-hyung _ ’, Seungjun snatched the phone out of Jihun’s hands. “Interesting…” He mumbled as he went through the rest of the boy’s contacts, Jihun immediately throwing out his hands to try and take the phone back. Holding the phone up with his slightly longer arms, Seungjun kept it out of reach until Jihun finally gave up and looked away, embarrassed and dreading Seungjun’s reaction. The older boy peered at him wondering what that type of reaction that was supposed to be, but found himself flicking across the screen seconds later. It didn’t take long for him to find his own number and Seungjun stopped in his tracks.

Right there under his thumb, above where his number was listed, was the name ‘ _ Husband _ _ ♡ _ ’. Failing to hold in a laugh, Seungjun held out the phone for Jihun to see, though the kid didn’t dare face him in his shame.

“Getting a bit ahead of yourself aren’t you?” He sputtered between laughs and struggled to keep up as Jihun took back his phone and started off again. Trailing behind with an endless laughing fit, Seungjun quickly ran up beside the boy again and wiped a few tears from his eyes. “It’s… cute.”

Jihun’s cheeks were a bright red, his face held low so he couldn’t look Seungjun in the eye. “It’s something stupid I did when I wasn’t thinking…” Groaning, he went to edit the contact, struggling with only one hand to do so. “So stupid…”

Instantly Seungjun reached out and took the phone again, shaking his head in pity. “I’ll fix it for you, wait…” Typing in something new, the taller boy clicked save and handed it back to Jihun, waving it a bit in front of him before the kid wordlessly took it back. After a second to look it over, Jihun was now the one to stop in his tracks. Seungjun’s number was now saved as ‘ _ My Husband _ _ ♡ _ ’ . Lifting his head, Jihun stared blankly at Seungjun stopped slightly ahead of him.

Hands in his pockets and smile clear like it wasn’t a big deal, Seungjun met with his gaze. “Now I’m yours.” He chimed and turned around again, heading to the bus stop on the next block and ignoring the big grin Jihun was trying to hide as he pushed his phone back into his pocket.

Some time later and the bus came for Jihun, Seungjun waving as he saw him off. Neither had said much as they waited, quietly enjoying the Spring air in the shaded neighborhood for the time being. Standing in line behind a few others, Jihun waved back and beamed. “See you tomorrow,  _ Hyung _ ~” He cooed and looked pleased from the reaction he got out of Seungjun right after. When the bus left, Seungjun stared off into the road for a moment then dragged himself back to his apartment. He tried to not look too crazy as he smiled the whole way back, but he couldn’t help it. The knots in his gut wouldn’t stop twisting this time.

Entering his place, his pleasant mood seemed to dissipate pretty quickly. He spotted Youjin in the kitchen, preparing their dinner while letting some music play off his phone. Happy about the food but still annoyed with the cook, Seungjun merely peeked into the kitchen and let him know he was back.

“You making dinner?”

“Yep.”

“What is it?”

“Nothing you like.” Youjin turned off the sink after he washed some leaves of cabbage and got out a knife. “But I’ll make it tasty.” He grinned back at Seungjun briefly, the glasses on his face earning a frown from the taller roommate.

Seungjun bitterly complained. “Why do you wear those so often anyway? Your sight seems good enough to me.” When Youjin didn’t answer, Seungjun grumbled some more. “Stop going to the gym so much too, you’ve already got a girlfriend you shouldn’t care about how you look.” Youjin glanced back his way with an eyebrow raised, but Seungjun had already moved toward his own room. At least, he did until he came back for one last complaint. “And stop giving your number out to people or I’ll tell your girlfriend you’re cheating!”

Putting the knife down, Youjin threw the nearby hand towel at Seungjun’s face. The younger hardly dodged it, narrowly escaping to his room and lying on his bed. His pillow smelled a bit weird and he figured it must’ve been whatever smell that had been on Jihun was lingering in his bed now. It wasn’t too bad, he thought. At least he didn’t reek of alcohol this time. Chuckling to himself, Seungjun pulled out his phone and flipped through his own contacts. He spotted Jihun’s name listed in such a greasy manner. Going in to edit the name, he erased the ‘ _ Jihunie~♡~♡ _ ’ that was in it and typed in something new. Clicking save, he smiled at the result and how funny ‘ _ My Husband♡ _ ’ looked to him. Unable to come up with any better names, he left it at that and checked the few messages he missed.

Sitting up, he gleamed over one in particular from Haeryeong.

> _ “So how’d it go with your friend?” _

Seungjun thought it over and the girl really had been right. Things seemed to be good again and it was really thanks to her. Typing up a response, Seungjun sat up.

> _ “It was great! He’s not mad. Thanks a lot!!!!” _

It wasn’t long before he got a response, laughing at the girl’s message under his breath.

> _ “NP! Just don’t walk over anyone else now~” _

Taking a moment, Seungjun sent a few more messages until he got called into the kitchen to help with dinner.

> _ “Really, it was thanks to you.” _
> 
> _ “I need to repay you! Are you free tomorrow? Wanna go downtown together for lunch?” _

Leaving his phone behind on the bed, it let out a muted buzz as Haeryeong answered without hesitation.

> _ “I’d love to ♡” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try not to take as long with the next one bc frankly there's better stuff coming anyway ;)


	5. Unintended Long Term Effects

It was a tad chilly out again today, but this time Seungjun came prepared. Without his mind occupied with worrying about making a mess of things, the guy had the forethought to actually check the forecast for the day before he left. Now he was on a corner of the bustling shopping center downtown, double checking his messages for where Haeryeong last said she’d meet him. It’d been a while already, but he figured her bus must’ve been running a bit late considering the sudden rainfall that had covered the whole city. Luckily for Seungjun, he’d brought an umbrella with him just for this situation. As long as he was dry, he didn’t mind waiting outside for the girl a bit longer.

Finally another bus pulled up to the stop and a crowd of more businessmen and women, some students, and a few children with their parents pooled out. Most had coats or hoods to protect themselves, some umbrellas like Seungjun as well, but as he spotted Haeryeong leaving the bus with only her small bag to cover her head, he stirred from his spot near a building toward the stop. Making his way through the crowd, he called out to her and won her attention through the light mist. She brightened up for a moment, though the rainfall seemed to dampen her expression and body pretty quickly.

Holding out his umbrella over her head, Seungjun smiled as he squeezed under in front of her, laughing slightly as he looked around them. “Didn’t plan on our day out to be so gloomy… Sorry!” He shouted over the commotion going on around mixed with the loud pouring of raindrops onto the city streets.

Haeryeong looked up at the guy standing so close to her, realizing she was still holding her bag above her head after a moment of staring. Letting the bag hang at her hip, she grinned back at the other and fixed some of her hair that had gotten a bit messy from the rainy breeze. Most of it was in a nice, long braid draping along her frontside, but there were some looser, smaller strands on the sides that were all over the place now. Still, it was hard for anything to really obscure her bright, pretty face.

“It’s fine, I guess I should’ve brought an umbrella though, huh?” The girl added with a cheeky grin, her words modest like usual. Though, her tensed stance and how she rubbed her bare arms said differently.

A little concerned for the girl, Seungjun handed her the umbrella while she looked on, puzzled. Slipping off the black coat he had on, he held it out toward her. “Let’s switch…” He proposed and took the umbrella back into his hands. He was wearing a thick cardigan as well, so he would likely be fine without another layer anyway.

Too humble to accept the offer right away, Haeryeong shook her head and hands to reject him. Though it became increasingly clear just how insistent the guy was and eventually she caved in, slipping her arms into the warm jacket that looked a bit too long on her. The hem almost reached the end of her spring dress, the sight itself a bit astonishing to the girl. Smiling with a gaze too shy to meet with the guy’s eyes again, she brushed some hair behind her ear and held onto the strap of her purse with her fingertips. “Thanks… You’re not too cold though, are you?”

“Me? I’m fine, don’t worry.” Seungjun beamed and started off down the street with her by his side, his shoulders just slightly too wide to fit completely under the umbrella. He made sure to not get too far ahead of her, leading her a few blocks down while he mentioned the restaurant they were headed toward. “There’s this grill I’ve heard good things about around here. My friend went a few weeks ago and said their lunch specials are to die for.” Opening the door for the girl once they were right outside, he closed the umbrella and shook the water off, frowning at how suddenly the rain started to let up. “Of course it stops when we’re here. Typical.”

Haeryeong giggled to herself and headed inside, waiting for Seungjun to get them a table and order them some drinks. They both meticulously peered over the menu, but soon Seungjun assured her to not think about it too much. “You can get whatever you want, it’s on me today. I owe you after that coffee anyway.”

Glancing up, she smirked and flipped through the pages of meat. “Yeah, but beef is just a bit more expensive than a frappucino isn’t it?”

Seungjun chuckled and shrugged, holding the menu up to conceal most of his face. “Well let’s pretend they’re the same just for today then…” Once their waitress returned, the two put in their orders, Seungjun nearly drooling with how appetizing the thought of several orders of quality beef would be without any other guy there to hork it down. While they both waited without any menus to hide behind anymore, Haeryeong finally slipped off his jacket and hung it on the back of her seat. It was then Seungjun caught a good sight of her look for the day and he lit up. “You look really nice today, I think that dress looks good on you.” He nodded toward her pale pink dress and grinned. Looking down at his own clothes, a yellow cardigan atop a simple striped tee, he sat back in his chair. “I tried to dress a bit nicer considering the occasion, but I think I just ended up looking more studious…” He pouted.

Hiding a giggle behind the sips at her drink, Haeryeong reassured him he was okay. “You look great…” Looking down at herself, a blush rose in her cheeks. “Actually, I thought I was overdressed on the ride here… I was a bit worried.” She laughed it off, but Seungjun merely shook his head.

“No, trust me, you look great.” He gleamed before looking to the empty grill longingly. He tried not to think about the upcoming meal too much while on their outing, as difficult as that was.

Haeryeong tried to keep up conversation while they waited. “So what year are you exactly?” She fingered her glass when he looked up. “If you don’t mind…”

Seungjun grinned, he didn’t really understand why she seemed to be so worked up now with how forward she was the first few times they met. “I’m actually a senior.” He answered and folded his arms across the table top. “But I’m going to graduate school after. I’ve been thinking about becoming a teacher.” He joked, “I always wanted my own desk like the ones’ my old teachers had…”

The girl across from him nodded along, mouth hung slightly in awe. She grinned to herself and looked down at her hand on her glass. “That’s a little… unique.” She glanced up. “I think you’d make a great teacher. You’re dependable like one, at least.” When their eyes met she looked away, her smile still lingering on.

Seungjun leaned on his hand, getting pretty comfortable. “Thanks. Though hopefully I won’t have to help out any of my future students by pretending to date them.” He joked and won another giggle from the girl. Interest piqued, he raised a brow and asked, “How about you? How old are you?” He scratched his head and leaned back in his chair. “Though that might be a bad question to ask a girl.”

She shook her head and beamed, “I’ll be twenty-two this year, so I’m in my third year right now.” Folding her hands in her lap, she sat up straight and finally looked at the guy. “I’m actually in the art department. It can be fun, but it’s a little stressful sometimes.”

“Ah, twenty-one…” Seungjun sighed dramatically. “I miss those days. Though you’re much too young to be so stressed.” He added in a tone as if they were wise words from an old man. He was hardly any older than she was in reality. She was the same age and year as Jihun it seemed. Seungjun blinked and sipped at his drink. Why did he have to suddenly think of that guy out of the blue? He was just fine, enjoying himself without babysitting the kid for once.

Just then the waitress returned and started grilling their food for them both. Seungjun snapped out of it at the sight of food, eyes wide and glistening while his stomach rumbled with the aroma tickling his senses. Once it was all ready, Seungjun dug in with Haeryeong following after. She was mostly watching the sight before her eyes; how quickly Seungjun scarfed down the food. He shoved in so many side dishes between each bite it was a wonder how he didn’t choke on any of it. Still, she made sure to have her fill as well and the two finished their meal off in a matter of minutes.

Seungjun patted his stomach and moaned in pleasure. “It really was so good. This is probably the best beef I’ve had in awhile…” The boy trailed off in a sad manner, pouting at the realization that there was nothing left of their delicious meal.

Finishing off her drink, Haeryeong nodded along in agreement. “It was very filling, that’s for sure.”

Sitting up straight, Seungjun smirked. “So that means you’re not up for dessert then?”

The girl smiled wide but rejected the offer. “No way, I’m way too full!” She laughed and leaned on the table. “I probably won’t be able to eat anything for the rest of the day.”

“Well hopefully you’re not too full for some strolling…” Seungjun hinted and won her immediate interest. Paying the bill, the boy led his friend out, helping her with the jacket and swaying the umbrella back and forth in his arm. It was sunny out now, though the roads and buildings were still glistening with rain. There were more people out now that it was clear, but it didn’t take long for the two of them to reach the spot Seungjun had in mind. Haeryeong was entertained the whole way by how giddy Seungjun looked, following along his eagerness in her less-than-suitable heels.

Making their way into a small building a few blocks down, Seungjun breathed in the familiar air like he dearly missed it. They were now in the book shop that he’d visited last week, looking around at the small aisles and tall shelves rather empty of customers at the moment. Haeryeong was awed by the sight of how many books were cramped into the tiny store, but seemed just as confused as to why they were there. Seungjun on the other hand was completely oblivious, eyes twinkling in excitement.

“Wanna look around some? I found this place a while ago and thought they had some good stuff here.” He sounded way too excited to be in a bookstore, but he couldn’t help it.

Haeryeong was smiling, but was definitely not nearly as enthused as he was. “You mean… look at the books?” She picked one up nearby and looked over it briefly, trying her best to be as excited as he was. “I guess so. Though, I’m not really that into reading.” However, the guy was already off, beelining toward a section of new arrivals while she dragged herself behind.

Seungjun was overjoyed. There were so many new titles that he’d been hearing some buzz about for a while, but hadn’t gotten the chance to look into yet. Now they were right there before his eyes, in the palm of his hands. He spotted one title in particular that interested him. It was the newest novel by the same author of the book Jihun had lent him yesterday. Of course he was nearly done with said book already, but he started to think about whether Jihun would’ve liked to read this new installment as well. It certainly seemed like the type of story he’d like, Seungjun thought as he read the synopsis on the inside. He wanted to ask for Haeryeong’s opinion on the book and finally turned his attention to his friend. Though, when he got a look at Haeryeong just reading a few back covers absentmindedly, looking around the shop’s walls every other moment, he bit his lip. He didn’t consider how boring this might’ve been for her and felt sorry all of a sudden. He dragged her all the way here without even asking about whether she was interested or not and now he was the only one having any fun. It was supposed to be his day to treat her and it turned into Haeryeong tolerating him instead.

“You want to get out of here? There’s nothing too interesting here right?” He laughed a bit forcibly considering just how interested he had been mere seconds ago. He would be lying if he said he didn’t want to stay, but he’d rather not keep the poor girl bored out of her mind.

Still, she tried to remain modest and gleamed, “Oh, well I don’t mind. I actually like comics sometimes… Do they have those here?” She tried to brighten up as much as he had, but he simply shook his head and started out.

“Probably not. Let’s go, this isn’t a very exciting place.” Putting the book down, Seungjun forgot about getting the new novel. Why did he even think about getting a book for Jihun anyway? The kid already had several on his plate, there was no point worrying about catering to him.

Seungjun was actually starting to get annoyed with how much he thought about Jihun during this outing. Maybe it was because the two had hung out so much these past few days, but it was harder for Seungjun not to be reminded of him in some way. Even as Haeryeong went on about a few things during their walk across town, Jihun popped into his mind at the simplest of reminders. He felt bad for ignoring some of what the girl was saying, but he was easily distracted for some reason. Eventually he got it together, however, and forced himself to focus on the present instead.

It was short lived once his phone buzzed. Checking the message he got, he held in a laugh at how funny getting a text from ‘ _ My Husband♡ _ ’ looked. A smile crept onto his face when he actually read the message.

> _ “Are you coming today?” _

Seungjun forgot to mention he couldn’t make it to Jihun’s practice and it seemed like the kid finally caught on once it got closer to the time it’d end. Typing up a response once they’d stopped at a crossing, Seungjun hit send.

> _ “Miss me already?” _
> 
> _ “I had something to do. Couldn’t make it.” _

Crossing the street, Seungjun’s mind started to wander again over how conditioned the kid seemed to be already. He only had lunch with him two days and he was acting like it was their routine at this point. Not to say that Seungjun didn’t enjoy those lunches, they were delicious after all, but it was a little laughable. The kid was too easy to read.

Haeryeong suddenly stopped at a street vendor and brought Seungjun back down to Earth. She cooed at the beautiful trinkets and jewelry the lady behind the table was selling, the lady sweet-talking Haeryeong into trying a few things on.

“This would look just lovely on you Dear! Here, take a look!” She held it out to Haeryeong, then to Seungjun, pushing it into his hands. “Go on, help your girlfriend!”

Seungjun took the necklace, but stared at the lady, bewildered. “Oh… She’s not my girlfriend…” He mumbled, the both of them clearly embarrassed. Though, the older lady wouldn’t take that as an answer and kept pushing Haeryeong to try it on. Unwilling to make things awkward, and also with how much Haeryeong seemed to enjoy it, Seungjun held the chain up with both hands, clasping it around the girl’s neck once she moved some of her hair out of the way. His fingers grazed the back of her neck as he fastened it on, Haeryeong flinching just slightly from the touch.

As Haeryeong checked it out in a mirror, talking with the older lady as the woman tried to smooth-talk her into buying it, Seungjun felt his phone buzz again. Checking the message, he frowned.

> _ “ok” _

That was all that Jihun had sent and it somehow bothered Seungjun. Was the kid looking forward to having lunch together that much? Maybe he was hoping to hang out afterwards again and Seungjun didn’t even have the decency to tell him ahead of time that he couldn’t see him that day. Either way, Seungjun was pretty certain that Jihun was disappointed and it slowly ate at him.

The girl turned around and looked up at Seungjun, then to the necklace. “What do you think?” Her voice was softer as her fingers meddled with the thick charm hanging across her chest.

Seungjun snapped out of his spell and smiled out of politeness, but honestly didn’t have much to say. “It looks nice… but it’s a little flashy.” He looked back to all the jewelry and accessories on the table in thought. “Maybe something simpler would be better?” The girl nodded as she took off the necklace, the both of them looking over all the little things on the table. Haeryeong eyed some handmade earrings while Seungjun absentmindedly traced his fingers over a few charms on display.

A harsh snap to his wrist had woken him up. “Don’t just go touching everything if you’re not going to buy it.” The older lady huffed and crossed her arms, fanning herself while the sun beat down on them all. “Well? Are you two going to buy something or not?”

As he rubbed his wrist, held up to his chest defensively, Seungjun blinked and looked from the cranky woman back to her merchandise. That was when his eyes caught onto one specific item and his brain clicked. Reaching out for two of the simple, woven bracelets in a pile, the boy’s eyes lit up as he took it into his hands.

The older lady cooed and eyed the two youngsters. “Oh~ So you’re interested in a couple bracelet then?” She started complimenting them again to win their favor. “It matches you well, that one there.” She eyed the bracelets woven out of shades of blue thread, a little star-shaped charm dangling off the ends of both where they were tied closed.

Holding the two bracelets tied together in his hand, a soft smile curled at Seungjun’s lips. “I think it looks nice. Simple and sweet, right?” He looked to Haeryeong next to him who was taking a closer look as well.

The girl looked up and met eyes with Seungjun, smiling back down at his hands in a heartbeat. “It’s cute… and a nice color…”

“Try it out if you’d like! Go ahead!” The older merchant whisked her hands over Seungjun’s and took the bracelets apart, handing one to Haeryeong who bashfully slipped it on. Seungjun just held his in hand, fiddling with the charm a bit until she held her wrist out for them all to view. Haeryeong was glowing as she enjoyed the sight, but Seungjun’s eyes were simply on the bracelet over her slim wrist. It did look perfect on a slender wrist like Haeryeong’s and Seungjun beamed in confidence.

“I’ll take them.” He grinned while Haeryeong already began slipping the bracelet off. The older lady cooed and bagged the accessories up together while Seungjun reached into his wallet. Buying the little bracelets, the duo said their goodbyes to the lady who was already counting the cash in her hands. Haeryeong’s face was radiating with delight as she tagged alongside Seungjun down the street. Seungjun meanwhile held the bag at his side along with his umbrella, contentedly quiet while they made it to the nearest bus stop.

Haeryeong eyed Seungjun a few times before finally speaking up, pushing some strands of hair behind her ear. “I have to get back soon, I have another class later.” She joked, a forced smile pushed from her throat, “Critiques are always so exciting...”

Seungjun raised an eyebrow from beside her, looking from the street to the girl next to him. “Critique? On what? Isn’t that like an exam?”

She nodded and crossed her arms from under the jacket draped over her shoulders now. “I guess… It’s just a solo performance.” She grinned. “I said I was in the arts right? I’m actually in theater.” Making a fist bound with confidence, she gazed at the tall boy with earnestness. “I memorized all my lines, I should be fine.”

Laughing slightly at her expression, Seungjun reached out and patted her head a few times. “I’m sure you’ll be great.” He quickly let go and joked, “You must be a great enough actress to have so many people believe we’re dating, right?”

The girl’s cheeks reddened, but she looked away and fingered the strap to her bag with both hands. Looking back to the street as cars rushed past, she mumbled, “Right… That’s true.” She recovered her soft smile and looked up at the boy again. “You’d fit right in my major then, huh? With how many times you’ve had to help me out.” She giggled, “You even had that old lady convinced without even trying.”

Seungjun chuckled and stuck his hands in his pockets as they stood around waiting. “We’d definitely make for a good duo act.” He peered up in thought. “What would our team name be then… Haejun?”

The girl merely giggled and shook her head. “That’s too boring.”

He smirked and hummed. “How about… Seungryeong?”

Haeryeong only laughed more and made a playful sour face. “That’s too hard for people to even say!” Then a bus pulled up to their stop and a crowd started making their way onto it. Haeryeong pulled herself together and realized it was the bus she was waiting for, hurriedly moving toward it while waving back to Seungjun with her candid bright smile.

Seungjun gleamed and waved back, calling out to her, “I’ll think of some more later!” When she chuckled once before trailing up the steps in the bus, Seungjun turned around and sat on the vacant bench, waiting for his own bus to arrive now.

The boy set down the umbrella and bag next to him, peeking at the bracelets still sitting inside. Another grin slipped onto his face while he thought about what to get Youjin to cook for lunch tomorrow. He was more eager than ever to have lunch with Jihun tomorrow and wanted to get back soon. Getting out of the damp streets would also be a plus, he thought.

Flipping through his phone, he opened his messages with Jihun and typed up another reply.

> _ “I’ll come a bit earlier tomorrow, make sure you don’t eat too much beforehand!” _

While he surfed through some of his accounts to pass the time, he lit up when his phone buzzed minutes later. Sitting up, he opened the new text, but slouched once again when he realized it was Haeryeong sending him another message.

> _ “Thanks for today, it really helped me get rid of all my stress.” _
> 
> _ “I’ll get a good critique now for sure! >:)” _

Seungjun let out a quiet laugh and thought for a moment before replying.

> _ “Good! I’ll think of some names in the meantime.” _
> 
> _ “How’s Beauty and the Beast?” _
> 
> _ “Jack and Jill?” _

The boy quickly forgot about his list of childish titles once his phone buzzed again in his palms. Opening the new message from Jihun, he rolled his eyes, though he couldn’t stop smiling.

> _ “You don’t have to make Youjin-hyung work so hard you know…” _

Why did the kid automatically think of his stupid roommate when he brought up having lunch together again? Seungjun himself was a decent cook, he could probably make something just as good if he had the time. Seungjun was just being generous to Jihun and his roommate anyway; giving Youjin a good excuse to go all out and letting Jihun eat a ton of food for free. Fingers flying across his screen, he replied immediately.

> _ “Couldn’t you be a bit excited about tomorrow?” _

Seungjun scolded the kid, lips pursed as he stared at his phone waiting for a response. When it did come, Seungjun immediately put his phone away and leaned on his knee, foot shaking in impatience as he waited for the bus to get here already. He needed to get back and find something to distract him from thinking of Jihun saying what he sent:

> _ “I can’t wait Hyung~” _

He was really starting to get annoyed with how easily the kid’s ‘Hyung’ got to him.

Seungjun frowned as he looked into the fridge. He told Youjin to make the best meal he’d ever made, but he never expected it to take up an entire shelf. Normally he’d be grumbling about having to manage to fit it all into his bag, though this time he was more excited. He was looking forward to Jihun’s reaction the most. The kid seemed so desperate yesterday it’d be easy enough to impress him with this, let alone the little surprise he had waiting for him. Zipping up the bag, or barely managing to do so, Seungjun made his way to class, only to be more and more impatient with each lecture.

In the middle of one of his more boring classes, “Reading Early English Literature” as it was called, the boy whipped out his phone and opened his messenger. He typed up something quick and held the device in his lap.

> _ “Be there soon~ Hope you’re hungry ;)” _

When he did get a response, he looked down briefly and grinned uncontrollably, barely managing to keep his little distraction out of view of his professor.

> _ “Starving!” _

Seungjun had never left class faster. As soon as the teacher wrapped up, he was already bolting out the door, bag strapped to his back. When he suddenly got another message however, he slowed to a stop in surprise.

> _ “Seungjun… Could you please help me?” _

It was Haeryeong. Eyes wide in concern, Seungjun tapped on the girl’s name and held it up to his ear as he looked around the streets filled with other students moving to their next classes. The dial tone rang a few times, each more nerve-racking than the last until finally the girl picked up.

“Seungjun?” Haeryeong answered with some clear uneasiness in her voice.

The boy didn’t hesitate to get to the issue at hand. “I saw your message. What’s wrong?” He swallowed hard, suddenly anxious about her explanation.

With a nervous hum, she spoke softly from the other side of the line. “I’m not disturbing you am I?” She tried to laugh it off, voice a little shaky. “Maybe I’m just paranoid…”

Seungjun furrowed his brow, gripping onto the strap of his bag. He was certainly preoccupied, but it didn’t seem to be as pressing as whatever she was dealing with at the moment. “Just tell me what’s wrong… Is it a guy?”

There was a bit of a pause then a small hum that confirmed it. “Sort of…” She explained, “There’s this guy who’s been kind of persistent in my class. I keep rejecting him but he doesn’t really listen.” There was another pause and she got even quieter. “I have this feeling that he’s following me…” Seungjun wanted to say something from how flabbergasted he was, but she pleaded. “Could you come see me just in case?”

“Of course! Where are you right now?” The boy’s instincts were heightened at the alarming news as he looked around all over as if she’d be nearby somehow.

“I’m outside that building we met at the other day. The day I got you coffee, remember?” She replied with relief.

Seungjun nodded to himself and made a noise in realization, already making his way there. “Okay, I’ll be there soon. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you until then?”

The girl quickly changed back to her modest self. “No, no. I’ll be fine until then.” Her voice lightened up as she ended the call with a “Thanks Seungjun.” and hung up.

Speeding his way over toward the building, the bag on his back was a harsh reminder of how he’d probably disappoint Jihun again for being a bit late. Pulling up his messages with the boy, he changed their plans slightly to suit the new obstacle.

> _ “Something came up. Could you meet me instead?” _
> 
> _ “Let’s eat outside at one of the benches in front of the library.” _

He figured the library would be closer to him than the gym, the library being the only other better outdoor spot that people met up at. Though honestly, the little getaway behind the gym was his preferred option.

It didn’t take long for Seungjun to get to the building Haeryeong was at. Instantly he spotted her just outside the door, gripping onto her phone and backpack while she was waiting. Once she noticed him arriving, the girl completely lit up and moved toward him, relief looking like it had washed over her in a second.

“Seungjun! Thanks for coming.” She looked back toward the building, then to the boy again, pushing some of her loose hair behind her ear. “I saw the guy earlier, but lost sight of him after the call… I’m not sure if he’s still around here.”

Seungjun blinked and looked around, trying to find the guy as well though he had no clue what he even looked like. “Well, if he is following you I doubt he’d want to be seen.” He smiled softly at the girl to keep her calm. “Want me to walk you to class?”

The boy figured the offer was what was expected of him since she asked for his help, but she slowly shook her head and looked away. “I was actually on my way home after this. That’s why I was worried…” She looked up with a quiver in her expression. “I didn’t want to be followed home alone…”

Pursing his lips, Seungjun looked saddened by her lingering fear. He tried to smile as he nodded along, despite the apprehension on the back of his neck beginning to tingle. “That’s fine. Better safe than sorry, right?” He laughed and tried to lighten up the mood, starting to lead the way until he realized he had no idea where she lived. “So which way is it?”

A small smile spreading across her lips, she brushed her fingers through the hair draped over her shoulder and started off, away from the campus. The two strolled past several blocks of school and office buildings that transitioned into residential housing. She definitely lived in a nicer part of town being on the East side; every road flat though rustic and lines of local businesses spicing up the area. Though it became increasingly clear just how far she was from the center of campus, especially the library. Checking his phone briefly as they turned down a smaller street, Seungjun noticed that Jihun had replied nearly fifteen minutes ago already.

> _ “ok. be over soon :)” _

His stomach twisted a bit in guilt. He didn’t want to keep the guy waiting too long, though luckily Haeryeong’s house seemed to not be much farther.

“Usually I’d walk back with a friend, but she wasn’t in class today so I panicked.” The girl broke the silence and laughed a few times under her breath. Seungjun eyed her in his periphery, then kept his eyes on the path ahead. “I had my critique yesterday, by the way.” Haeryeong sounded happier than ever now that they were away from campus. “It was a piece of cake, I think I got good marks.” She gleamed Seungjun’s way, adding, “Thanks to you for getting rid of my stress.”

Seungjun lit up, trying not to let his mind wander or worry anymore. “Really? That’s great.” He grinned and slipped his hands into his pockets, his bag starting to weigh heavy on his back as it jutted into his spine in weird places. “One step closer to being the nation’s top actress.” He flashed a cheesy look and over exaggerated her accomplishment.

The girl stifled a small giggle and kept quiet for a bit until she finally brought up something that seemed to be on her mind the whole walk home. “Seungjun, we’re friends right?”

He blinked and was a little confused by the change of subject. “Of course. I like hanging out with you actually.” He joked, “You understand me better than my other ‘girlfriends’ after all.”

She moved some hair behind her ear and grinned to herself before speaking up again. “Well in that case, could I call you Oppa from now on?”

Seungjun really didn’t understand why that question had been bothering her this whole time. In fact, he was more surprised she wasn’t already calling him by that. “Sure, you can call me whatever. It’s bound to be better than the things I’ve heard from my roommate.” The two chuckled and joked a bit more, their laughter dying off in a matter of minutes.

“Oh! I think I just felt a raindrop.” The girl stated in surprise, looking up as she held out her hand to feel some of the first few droplets of rain. Seungjun cursed the late Spring weather. In all his excitedness he had completely forgotten to check the forecast like he had the day before. The two rushed down another street when it started picking up, turning around a corner when a car sped past them both. Being in a smaller area, the speeding car ran through a puddle of water that had collected over the day right next to the two. Luckily Seungjun noticed in time as he turned the corner and reached out, pulling the girl back and away from the incoming shower. Gripping onto her arms tightly once the water hit his backpack, he took the brunt of the blow and grumbled when the car was gone seconds later. Haeryeong was shocked, holding her hands over her mouth as she gasped and took a moment to understand what had just happened.

“Did you get wet?” Seungjun looked back at the girl he was holding away from the road, eyeing her up and down to make sure she didn’t get soaked in the dirty water like she was about to.

Blinking in confusion, Haeryeong stuttered an answer as she came to grips with reality. “N-No… I’m fine…” She joked as he let go and cleared her throat. “I think we’ll just get more wet if we stay here until it gets worse, though.”

Seungjun nodded along and the two eventually made it down the street and up the steps of an older, small house. Most of the students rented these places out, so Seungjun merely assumed the girl must’ve had a roommate or two living with her. In fact, he was sure he saw two figures in the window before the blinds closed completely. The one thing that he was glad about regarding the house was the awning that hung over their heads as they both squeezed onto the entryway. She fiddled with her keys a bit as the rain had already picked up, practically pouring and drowning out their conversation.

“Do you want to come in? You can wait it out here if you’d like.” The girl asked as she unlocked the door and stepped inside. Seungjun bit his lip and looked back toward the way he came from. Jihun was probably waiting for him either at the library or the gym right now, stomach grumbling without the lunch that Seungjun had promised.

“I can’t, I have some plans later. Sorry.” The boy politely declined, though his body was hesitant to go out in the pouring rain just yet.

Haeryeong quickly noticed and disappeared behind the open door briefly. Seungjun had raised a brow at the slight whispering he heard from immediately inside, but straightened up when the girl reappeared a moment later with a rather large umbrella. “You can use this then. Don’t wanna catch a cold do you?” She gave a toothy smile and Seungjun brightened with gratitude.

“Really? Thanks!” Taking the umbrella, he opened and locked it into place, glancing once more at the girl as he stepped down the stoop. “You’re always here for me Haeryeong! I owe you again!”

Shaking her head, she waved back and shouted over the rain. “Don’t worry! Just be careful Oppa!” Shortly after, she disappeared behind the door again while Seungjun rushed down the rainy streets, back toward the campus that seemed like a mile away.

One thing was for sure; all this walking had really exhausted him. By the time he even saw any signs of the school’s existence again, the rain was still coming down just as hard. There were far less students out now, the only ones daring to step out in the storm were prepared with umbrellas and raincoats. The campus only finally became a bit sunnier with a slight drizzle as Seungjun arrived to the library. Much to his dismay however, he didn’t see any sign of Jihun in the area. Seungjun checked his phone and noticed a text he’d missed during his walk with Haeryeong.

> _ “Where are you?” _

The dread washed over Seungjun’s face like the water that was still raining down all around him. Looking up, he moved toward the gym, figuring the guy must’ve gone back already once Seungjun didn’t show up after some time. He wasn’t sure how he’d weasel his way out of this one, but hopefully Jihun would understand him considering the rain. Lighting up and loosening his grip on the handle of the umbrella, Seungjun let out a sigh. That was right, the kid was pretty passive and somewhat understanding, he’d forgive him once he finally had some food in him.

At least, that’s what Seungjun had thought until he caught a glimpse of what looked like a student walking the same way ahead of him. Seungjun’s body tensed before his mind even really understood what he was seeing. Rushing forward, Seungjun suddenly called out, hoping the figure in his soaked gym shorts and hoodie wouldn’t actually turn around. “Jihun?”

When the figure did stop and turn around however, Seungjun felt his gut tighten up more than ever with the look he’d gotten in return. Stopping halfway in a puddle, rain bouncing off the top of his umbrella, Seungjun froze up as he faced Jihun, dripping wet from head to toe and looking more pissed than he’d ever been at Seungjun. This was going to be a mess that Seungjun deep down knew would probably be impossible to get out of unscathed.

“Jihun, look I’m sorry I’m late, I--” Seungjun started as he finally got closer, enough to hold out the umbrella over both of them, though no more than the tension between the two boys would allow.

Jihun scoffed, hands rustling in the pockets of his pullover hoodie. You could probably wring the thing out for hours and still wouldn’t get all the water out. “Late? You totally blew me off! Do you even know how long I was waiting and looking around for you?” Seungjun naively pulled out his phone to check the time, winning another astoundedly disappointed sound from the boy across from him. “I was out there for forty minutes after you texted me. You didn’t even answer me back, what the fuck were you doing?”

It was the first time he’d heard Jihun really genuinely curse at him. Sure he heard it before when he was in his drunken rantings, but this time it made Seungjun feel even guiltier for dragging the kid this low. He was shocked he’d made him so angry, but hardly had a good excuse for himself. After all, how was he supposed to tell Jihun the reason he stood him up was because he was helping his fake girlfriend? Seungjun looked away and tightened his grip on the handle, his palm sweaty and numb. “I had to meet a friend for something…”

“That’s the best you could come up with?” Jihun rolled his eyes and bit his lip, holding in another one of his cold, tired laughs before he finally turned around and walked out from under the umbrella and away from Seungjun.

Reaching out, Seungjun grabbed ahold of the kid’s arm and caught up with him, trying to hold the umbrella over them both as they walked. “Look, Jihun, I’m sorry! I really didn’t mean to make you wait… Why didn’t you just wait inside somewhere?”

Jihun shot the guy a look and paused, sighing. “I just thought I could rely on your word for a second there. I guess I was just acting stupid again.” He walked off again, looking like he had no intention to stop as he headed toward the gym.

Seungjun called out after him, the rain pattering on his umbrella softly. “We could still have lunch, I actually have something--”

“Just don’t bother!” He yelled back and didn’t even take a look at the guy. Seungjun stood still and watched as the kid moved his arm out of his pocket and toward his face before he was too far from sight to see clearly anymore. Why did Jihun have to be so sensitive, and why did Seungjun have to be so stupid?

Seungjun let out a breath he’d been holding far too long, his chest pained as it emptied of air. Crouching down, he held the umbrella over his head and tried clearing his mind. Usually he’d probably just go home or somewhere else to let off steam and complain about how Jihun was the one being too much, but this time he realized all too well how much Seungjun was the one at fault. Sucking in some air, he mustered up enough strength to stand up and head toward the gym. He needed to start actually trying to be responsible for once.

Unwilling to immediately bother Jihun and possibly start some sort of scene, Seungjun stood around outside the locker room for some time. If Jihun had waited around for him for nearly an hour, then Seungjun told himself he had no problem doing so either. That was the very least someone as impatient as Seungjun could do, anyway. After a while the guy took off his bag, the weight free from his shoulders that were starting to get sweaty under the straps. He sifted through a few of the things and bit his lip as he pulled out some of the containers of food. They had gotten a little wet from the water that had leaked into his bag, but the food inside was probably okay still. At least, it looked like it was. Some of his notebooks inside however looked a little worse. Grumbling, Seungjun pulled them out and tried airing them out some before sticking them back inside. His eyes caught sight of the one thing in his bag that was the most precious among everything: the little bag with the surprise he had for Jihun. He wanted desperately to give them to the kid earlier, though didn’t find it right to give something so strange to him when he was in a foul mood. Now Seungjun frowned, peeking in at the bracelets inside as they remained dry and hidden. He’d have to find another time to give it to Jihun, he thought.

Some time later and the door opened up, a few players coming out and eyeing Seungjun like he was crazy as he was crouched down over his notebooks spread out on the floor to dry. With that cue, the guy quickly shoved his things back into his bag, keeping the bracelets in his pocket while he grabbed ahold of the umbrella Haeryeong had lent him. He was glad he at least had this in the midst of all the unfortunate things that had happened earlier, considering it still seemed to be raining out. Again, Seungjun cursed the unstable Spring weather. As much as he disdained the idea of finals and graduation and especially the heat, he wished it was almost Summer already.

Another moment passed and the door swung open again, the shorter kid from the other day trailing out carefree. Seungjun called out to him and stood straight, Heejun beaming as he stopped in his tracks. He grinned wide, “Oh, it’s Jihun’s friend! How ya doing…” The kid spun his earbud around in the air while he hummed, eventually giving up and sputtering out a chuckle. “I honestly can’t remember your name, what was it again?”

The kid’s forwardness rubbed Seungjun the wrong way, but he ignored it for now and forced an awkward smile. “It’s Seungjun. I just wanted to know when Jihun might come out.” He got straight to the point and became uneasy once Heejun dropped his smile.

Rubbing the back of his neck as he stopped spinning his earphone, Heejun looked back toward the locker room door, finding it difficult to tip-toe around what was going on in there. “Actually, it might be a while…” He looked back up at Seungjun and rubbed his own arm anxiously. “Captain’s kinda mad about him skipping out for so long today. We have a game tomorrow, you know?” 

Seungjun bit his tongue, glancing at the silent door with concern. Heejun quickly caught on and reassured him it’d be alright. “Don’t worry too much about Jihun, he seems like he can handle Inseong a lot better than the rest of us.” He joked, “I’ve only been the guy’s roommate for two years and I can barely tolerate his mood swings.”

Seungjun wanted to agree with him and convince himself it’d be okay, but that uneasy feeling that always came over him whenever something involved Inseong was stronger than ever. It probably didn’t help that Seungjun still wasn’t over how much Jihun was just hurt because of him prior to all that was going on behind those doors either. Still, Seungjun smiled and nodded a few times, not ready to drag Heejun into anything just because he was close to them too. The two bade each other farewell and Heejun rushed down the hall toward the rainy streets outside. It was only when the kid was out the door that Seungjun remembered all the food that was with him and how excited Heejun was to try some. Maybe next time he’d remember. After all, Heejun seemed like a nice enough kid, compared to Inseong at least.

And speak of the devil, the captain himself was the next to come out a minute later. “Inseong!” Seungjun called out, a little too eager for how quiet and empty the hall was. The guy spun around on his heel and brightened up, looking left and right down the hall as he walked up to Seungjun. 

Inseong raised a brow as he looked the tall boy up and down. “You here for Jihun again?”

Seungjun bit his tongue for a moment and swallowed hard, nodding as he eyed the locker room door. “Yeah… I brought him lunch again.” The somewhat sad look in his expression seemed to make Inseong more puzzled. Seungjun shook it off and turned his attention back to Inseong. “Will he be out soon?”

Humming, Inseong looked up and away, shrugging. “Not sure. He has to clean the locker room before he can leave.” He laughed in what sounded almost like a snicker. “He just left for a break and showed up almost an hour later. He needs to remember we have an important game tomorrow, you know?”

Dread washed over Seungjun in a flash, weighted down by a feeling of guilt. He palmed his pants pocket where the bracelets were and frowned, reaching into his bag instead. Inseong looked on with curiosity when the boy held out some of the food his way. “In that case… could you give this to him for me? I don’t want to disturb him.” Truthfully, Seungjun didn’t want to face Jihun now more than ever. There was no way he’d forgive him now, he just needed some time away. Also, it dawned on him just how many other priorities Jihun had with their game coming up so soon. Seungjun felt he didn’t need to make everything revolve around him right now.

Slowly, the captain took the few containers into his hands and checked them out, surprised. After a second, Inseong let out a stale laugh and glanced toward the door, then back at Seungjun in front of him. “Can I be honest with you, Seungjun?” He started and Seungjun blinked, nodding though unsure he’d appreciate what was coming. Inseong smiled and looked over all the food. “You don’t have to go this far you know.” The captain softened his more boisterous personality for a moment and continued. “You seem like a decent guy, you don’t have to force yourself so much to be close to Jihun just for her.”

Seungjun froze up, tensed at the realization that Inseong seemed to know why he even became friends with Jihun. Stuttering, he pushed a smile out to mask his confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Inseong let out a single breathy laugh and shook his head. “I can tell, okay? You probably only got close to Jihun because you wanted to get closer to Dahye, right?” When the captain made that assumption was when Seungjun eased up, looking like he was genuinely lost in the conversation now. Inseong however seemed just as confident as ever. “I’ll give you some advice: Don’t get so close that he gets clingy. I made that mistake years ago and been stuck with him ever since.” He joked, “The guy acts like he’s in love with me or something.”

“What do you mean?” Seungjun finally spoke up, barely able to keep cool amidst the increasingly aggravating comments about Jihun. This was Jihun’s only friend who was spouting out this nonsense after all, the guy that kid seemed to admire so much. Seungjun was just astounded as he showed his true colors.

Inseong raised a brow and thought for a moment. “About what? You mean you haven’t realized how pathetically dependent he is yet?” He scoffed and rolled his eyes. “God that kid couldn’t catch a hint all through high school. I only talked to him back then because he always hung around Dahye, but he still follows me around like some dumb puppy.” Looking down at the food in his hands, he joked some more. “Guess now I finally have some scraps to toss his way.”

That was the last straw. Before he knew it, Seungjun had snatched the food from Inseong’s hands and glared at the guy in disgust. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Inseong snapped back and blinked, taken aback. “What’s gotten into you?” Then he frowned and eyed Seungjun up and down once more. Seungjun felt like he was going to fling the food at him if he did that one more time. “You mean you’re actually friends with that guy because you wanted to be?”

Seungjun tensed up again and held back. He was angry, sure, but there was  _ some _ truth to what Inseong was saying. It wasn’t like Seungjun befriended the guy with good, simple intentions either. He only started to treat him like a friend out of pity as well. Biting his lip, he looked down at the food without any clue how to respond.

The captain across from him however just snickered a bit more. “See? I could tell.” The guy pulled out his phone when he got a message and looked through it, half-ignoring Seungjun at this point. “You’re kinda like me, you know? So I understand you.”

“I’m not anything like you.” Seungjun muttered and watched as Inseong fiddled with his phone in front of him. The guy was so damn cocky and arrogant, Seungjun couldn’t take it anymore. Without a second thought, he reached out and took the guy’s phone, chucking it to the brick wall feet away in the heat of the moment. Inseong looked on with his jaw dropped, the both of them staring at the cracked device lying still on the ground without a sound. Seungjun didn’t know what had gotten into him, but he immediately regretted it as he watched Inseong bend over and pick up the phone with wide eyes and a quivering lip.

“Did you just… break my phone?” His voice was the quietest that Seungjun had ever heard from him until now, shaky as he tried not to lunge at the tall boy.

Seungjun did regret what he did, but he didn’t let up and let it all out. “Maybe you should worry less about your phone and more about your personality.” He scowled at the captain and shoved the containers back into his bag. “You should stop acting like such an entitled asshole before something worse happens.”

Inseong scoffed under his breath and stared wide-eyed at the boy. He seemed more pissed than ever, but also frozen from how suddenly brash Seungjun was. “Are you threatening me now? Because of _fucking_ Jihun?”

Seungjun was intimidated, but he ignored his overwhelming feeling of uneasiness. “I’m just giving  _ you _ some advice now.” The boy turned to leave before things got physical at that point. He kept a fist balled at his side the whole walk home, cursing the douchebag under his breath until he finally made it indoors and out of the rain. His knuckles were white from how tightly he had been clenching the umbrella hilt in his fist, only realizing it once he got into the apartment. Shoving all the food back into the fridge, he slammed the fridge door shut and skulked off to his room. Flopping onto his bed, he took a moment to stare at the ceiling quietly before shoving a pillow over his face and yelling into it. “Fuck! Why am I so stupid!” There was no doubt in his mind that this was going to come back to bite him in the ass later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I can't believe I updated this fast either. Weird. (Still not where I wanted this whole chapter to end but I SWEAR the next one will end at that point lmfao)


	6. How Long is the Night

There were countless times that Seungjun had caught himself staring at his phone, his mind lost in another world. He was stuck in this endless cycle of typing up a message to Jihun, asking about how he was doing, demeaning himself with a million apologies, or even getting so frustrated he ranted about how aggravating Jihun was, then deleting them all right after. He couldn’t find the right words to use and insisted on waiting for Jihun to break the silence in their messages first. Now he was outside, leaning against a wall of the stadium among the crowd making their way in to see the game. He was waiting to meet up with Dahye and Yuji again, but still very much concentrated on his phone. He’d put it in his pocket, then pull it out once he mustered up the will to type something. Then Seungjun would remember how Jihun had a game to worry about, thinking that sending a message now would just make him lose focus and he’d shove the thing back into his pocket.

“Are you okay? You’ve been acting weird all day.” Youjin asked him from his side, raising a brow at his friend’s strange behavior lately.

Seungjun came back down to Earth and stood straight, playing it off like nothing was bothering him at all. “Yeah. Never better.” His tone sure wasn’t convincing anyone, however.

Youjin stared at him for some time before taking the guy’s answer as it was. Things were quiet between the both of them again until a voice called out from the crowd.

“Seungjun! There you are!” The boy perked up as Yuji approached them, Dahye not too far behind. Both the girls gleamed once they met up with Seungjun, but Yuji especially was radiating. She lightly slapped his shoulder and complained, “I was trying to call you to ask where you were, is your phone dead?”

Youjin looked to Seungjun who merely smiled and laughed it off, rubbing his shoulder as he shook his head. “No, I just didn’t see it, sorry.” When the boy caught Youjin staring at him, he lit up and pulled the guy closer by the arm, smothering him again. “Oh yeah, this was the roommate I was telling you about. Youjin, this is Yuji and that’s Dahye.” He pointed them all out as they were introduced to each other, Seungjun watching on like a proud father now that his friends were getting along well.

“So your girlfriend couldn’t come?” Dahye asked Youjin who looked surprised that she brought her up, let alone knew he was dating someone. Seungjun had mentioned things about Youjin, namely how little he approved of his relationship, to the two girls in the brief conversations they’d have before class started. That was really the only times he’d talked to the two, especially Yuji, as of late. Now that he thought about it again, something felt a bit odd about it, though the guy quickly brushed it off.

Youjin answered a little hesitantly, figuring Seungjun must’ve told them at some point. “She was too exhausted from her internship, but I’ll bring her next time.” He smiled politely until Seungjun cut in.

“This guy almost didn’t come at all because of her, can you believe that?” He snickered and clung onto Youjin’s arm. “I only convinced him because I told him Jihun would be disappointed if he didn’t come. He has such a soft spot for him.” The three laughed at that little fact while Youjin shook his friend off of him.

Crossing his arms to keep Seungjun off, Youjin sighed. “I don’t mind watching sports. I heard Jihun was good too.” He smirked and looked back to the girls, pointing at his roommate. “Someone wouldn’t stop bragging about his skills before we got here.”

Seungjun slapped Youjin’s shoulder and frowned, embarrassed as the girls giggled to themselves. He kept quiet instead of making a scene though, realizing just how bashful he was about them knowing what he thought of Jihun all of a sudden. If this had been just a few weeks ago, he’d be gloating more and over exaggerating to make himself look like a good boyfriend to them. Now he could hardly bring himself to even think about doing the same and it itched at the back of his mind as they made their way into line for tickets.

They found some decent seats together and sat around until the game actually started. The game played out like it usually did; Inseong shining across the court while the crowd cheered wildly for their star player. Their school’s team spared no time racking up points, gaining a ten point lead by the end of the first quarter and keeping it until halftime. Yuji brought up getting snacks and the group played rock, paper, scissors to figure out who should go. Luckily for Seungjun’s wallet, he won out while Youjin and Yuji lost. The two waved and excused themselves, Youjin looking a bit annoyed as Seungjun gloated about not having to fight the crowd for some snacks. Seungjun went back to watching the cheerleaders perform in the meantime, music blaring while the crowd died down some around them. He hadn’t seen Jihun play yet, but anticipated him to be put in by the next quarter. At least, he hoped so. He could hardly tolerate watching Inseong do so well after the bad impression he left on him a day earlier.

Seungjun eyed Dahye sitting quietly next to him, messing with something on her phone while she waited for the two to get back with some food. Scooting into the seat beside her, the boy interrupted. “Hey Dahye… can I ask you something?”

The girl blinked and looked up, surprised by how serious the guy seemed all of a sudden. It definitely was a weird time and place to have such a cautious tone, anyway. “Yeah? What’s up?” She smiled and tucked her phone away, watching some of the cheerleaders down below that were quite distracting.

Glancing back at the glitzy dancers, Seungjun took a moment before asking, “What do you think of Inseong?”

He looked over at the girl to see her reaction as she looked away and down at her feet. Combing some of her bangs out of her face, Dahye smiled awkwardly before meeting Seungjun’s gaze again. “You want me to be honest?” When the boy nodded, she bit her lip and leaned back in her chair. With a sigh, she fiddled with the end of her shirt and spoke her mind. “I don’t really like the guy. He seems to be a good leader and player and all that, but…” She tried to find the right way to explain her thoughts to Seungjun. “We were close in high school, the three of us, but then one day before I went to college, Inseong confessed to me. It wasn’t just the usual confession either, he tried to make a move on me.” She laughed in embarrassment while Seungjun merely looked on in surprise. He didn’t expect this from her of all people, but then again he wasn’t surprised knowing what he did about Inseong now. She brushed some hair behind her ear and watched as the dancers left the court and the players came back out. “It was just so awkward because I wasn’t even really _that_ close to him like I am with Jihun. After that it just always felt like he had weird intentions.” Looking back to Seungjun, she forced a half-smile. “I can’t say I hate the guy though, since Jihun’s still friends with him. He was the only one there for Jihun after I left for college too, so I’m grateful for that, at least.”

Nodding to himself, Seungjun pursed his lip and furrowed his brow as he watched the captain gathering his team together and show them a few pointers and such. He did seem like such a decent guy, but hearing that even Dahye’s opinion of him wasn’t very good either was reassuring. Seungjun wasn’t just being paranoid, he was just witnessing Inseong’s true colors. He perked up once Dahye nudged his arm from beside him.

“I’m even more grateful for you though. I don’t think I’ve seen Jihun so happy in a long time.” She turned back to watch the guy in question, grinning softly as she leaned forward. “It’s a lot more reassuring to know he has someone like you now.”

Seungjun smiled shyly and leaned back in his seat. Brushing his hand through his hair, he watched Jihun start warming up for the next quarter, brimming with anticipation before he frowned. Sure, Seungjun was really the greatest person for Jihun with how often he made the kid upset and cry, bringing him so much stress every day. He sighed as he caught a glimpse of Heejun laughing with Jihun, leading him over toward Inseong on the bench, drinking water and cooling off as they chatted among themselves. “Yeah, too bad he still seems to trust Inseong more than me.” He muttered and the girl beside him laughed.

Holding her hand over her mouth, she glanced his way a few times and joked, “Don’t be too jealous of other guys now. Trust me, you’re probably the best thing for him. Inseong couldn’t even light a candle to you.”

Seungjun held back the smile widening across his lips. To say he was flattered would be an understatement. Scratching his nose, he grinned behind his hand until the return of his grouchy roommate with an armload of snacks brought him back down to Earth. “You owe me ten bucks.” The guy grumbled as he sat back down, Seungjun scooting back into his own seat as he warmed up to the guy holding all his precious food.

Grabbing a hotdog and soda, Seungjun started stuffing his mouth while trying to answer Youjin back. “Don wowwy abow id.” He mumbled between bites and swallowed. “I’ll get you groceries another day anyway. We’re even.” He shrugged and smirked while watching the guy gorge on his own snacks. The girls beside him dug in as well, laughing to themselves and getting out their signs to cheer on Jihun once the third quarter had begun.

Jihun fared about as well as he had the first game Seungjun had seen him in, even playing a bit longer than he did before. Seungjun the whole time was ecstatic, finding himself standing up for an ovation with the girls with every basket he made. Actually, he seemed to be doing a lot better than he did the last game. Maybe it was because Seungjun didn’t bother him or make him nervous right beforehand this time around. Sitting back in his seat once the whistle was blown for a timeout, Seungjun sighed. His thoughts were just a constant mess about whether he really was any good for Jihun. He seemed to just be screwing with the kid’s life, and all the stuff Dahye or Yuji saw in him was just a ruse. Sucking up the last of his cola hard, he slouched back in his seat and unconsciously glared at the court below. Why did he expect to really be friends with a guy he was just going to dump for his dream girl in the end anyway?

Seungjun glanced toward Yuji and fiddled with the straw in his cup. The better question was why wasn’t he nearly as excited to be here right next to Yuji anymore? The boy shook his head and went back to staring mindlessly at the game carrying on below. He didn’t want to submit himself to the looming reality that he was just infatuated with the persona he’d put on Yuji all this time. He’d gotten to know her more these last few weeks and it made him realize how normal and real she was, not like the idolized version he’d always viewed her as. She wasn’t some goddess or higher being like he so childishly conceived before. She was just a person like himself or Youjin or…

“Did you see that?!” Youjin shouted next to him, winning Seungjun’s attention as he craned his neck back to see his usually stoic roommate standing to cheer. Youjin looked back down at Seungjun like he was strange for not standing with them. Sitting back down, he explained, “Jihun just scored a three-pointer! Didn’t you see it?” When the girls sat back down as well, Seungjun sat up straight and hesitantly shook his head.

“No I was… distracted.” He still didn’t seem too excited. Really, Seungjun was more surprised that Youjin was so energetic all of a sudden. Yet, his mind was preoccupied with too many thoughts.

His roommate looked to him with some concern in his eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Laughing it off, Seungjun scratched the back of his head and stood up. “Yeah, I’m fine… Just need to use the bathroom.” Youjin raised a brow at him like it was strange to be leaving in the middle of the game, especially when Jihun was playing, but Seungjun couldn’t help it. He needed to get some air before his head exploded.

The guy slid past his friend and up the stands, looking for a restroom down the halls of the stadium that were practically empty. Cheering echoed throughout from the crowd behind the doors while some staff working the snack bars eyed the guy walking alone like he was strange. Yes, Seungjun thought, he was completely strange. Or at least, something strange was going on with him. Making it to a bathroom and splashing some water on his face, he leaned over the sink and calmed down. This was not the time or place to be having some sort of stupid crisis, if you could even call it that. With a sigh, Seungjun forced himself to get over whatever was going on and make his way back to the game. He’d feel even worse if he missed the end.

As expected, their school’s team put in Inseong at the end again and widened the gap, taking home another win and launching themselves into the semifinals. Seungjun didn’t even know who any of these other teams were or how big a deal this whole tournament was, yet he was cheering like any other die-hard fan in the stands, including the two girls next to him. The tall boy remained standing and clapping to himself, the girls going on about looking forward to celebrating and hoping the team would be taking home a trophy soon. Seungjun quietly watched as Jihun joined the others in smothering their captain and the other final players in joy, hugging each other and jumping up and down in excitement. For a second, Seungjun thought the kid had spotted him standing in the crowd and it made him freeze up with his gut feeling tight. Their little group made their way out once the team started trailing into the locker rooms, Seungjun feeling somewhat nauseous the longer they walked. He thought he just needed some air, but now that he actually was getting some, he felt even worse. He tried convincing himself it was just the crappy stadium food he’d eaten in one sitting.

“Which bar should we head to? You guys have any favorites?” Dahye looked to the two guys trailing behind them, looking none too excited for their celebratory outing coming up. Youjin eyed his roommate who looked drastically different at the suggestion, like he was lost in another world. When he nudged the boy though, Seungjun blinked and brightened up, trying to laugh off his weird behavior in case any of them noticed.

“Actually, I don’t think I can go out tonight. I need to take this guy back.” He wrapped an arm around Youjin and squeezed tight onto his arm, hoping he’d catch the hint.

The girls looked to Youjin, disappointment rising to their faces until he smiled and went along with it. “Yeah I’m not feeling too good after that burger…” He rubbed his stomach and let out a breath as if he was the one who was sick. Seungjun let go of him and started home, Youjin following along while Yuji shouted back.

“Okay! Take care of yourself!” She cupped her hands around her mouth and called out, “We’ll let Jihun know, don’t worry!” Seungjun flinched when his gut felt hot in pain all of a sudden. It wasn’t like the twisted knots he always felt lately, but as if his organs were falling out of his body and pooling around his feet. It was a disgusting feeling that he could only make a disgusting face in reaction to, his roommate the one to quickly notice.

The cab ride home was quiet and awkward, but the older guy waited until they’d gotten back to their apartment before interrogating Seungjun. “Okay, seriously, what’s up with you? You’ve been sulking about something all day.” He wasted no time and hounded his friend as the tall boy was still slipping off his shoes and coat.

Seungjun glanced up from untying his shoes, then let his eyes fall back onto the floor to avoid Youjin’s intense gaze from above. “I don’t know why you keep saying that…” He avoided the conversation altogether and slipped past Youjin, trying to head toward the kitchen for a snack to make him feel better. Food was always the best answer to his problems.

His roommate however was relentless and shut the fridge door as soon as it was opened. Easily holding the door closed despite Seungjun’s struggles to pull it open, he stood between the two and crossed his arms. “Don’t give me that crap, you’re too easy to read. Is this about Jihun?”

Seungjun tensed up. That awful feeling in his stomach panged him again and he frowned. Giving up entirely on the fridge, the guy moved into the living room and flopped onto the couch, face buried into the cushion. “It’s not about him…” His voice was muffled from the fabric, but Youjin understood enough as he followed him out and stood watching over him from the other end.

“Well it sure seems like it.” Sighing, Youjin headed into the kitchen and got out a bottle of beer. The short pop as he removed the cap didn’t even stir the boy on the couch. Youjin took a seat in a chair and went on. “You’ve barely mentioned him all day, you barely paid attention while he was playing, and you even refused to go out and celebrate with them after. Don’t you think that’s a little rude?”

Seungjun sat up and groaned. “I get it! I’m an asshole!” With a pout, he leaned on the arm of the couch and rubbed his head. “But it’s not about him, it’s about me.”

Youjin perked up and raised a brow, taking a swig before standing up and heading to the kitchen again. Once he came back, he opened another bottle and handed it to his roommate. Seungjun shouldn’t have been surprised that Youjin was being so attentive all of a sudden, but was still silently grateful. Bottle in his hands, Seungjun sighed and stared at the label as he explained.

“I screwed up again yesterday… really bad.” Seungjun bit his lip as he remembered the sight of Jihun’s soaked backside walking away from him. He thumbed the corner of the sticker around the bottle. “But it just made me realize just how many times this happens. I keep apologizing for upsetting him every time but it doesn’t seem useful if I keep messing up…” Youjin looked like he wanted to say something, though he held back and just listened instead. Seungjun took a sip and swallowed hard, then sighed. “I’ve just been thinking that doing all of this isn’t any good for him. I’m not good for him… at all.”

“I could’ve told you that.” Youjin suddenly cut in and put his empty bottle on the coffee table between them, leaning back in his chair like his words didn’t pierce his friend so cruelly just now. “Oh wait, I did. Before this mess even started.” Seungjun frowned and sunk further into his seat, but Youjin continued nonetheless. “But is this really the time to be sitting there wallowing over how stupid your idea was?” Seungjun looked up with some confusion in his eyes as Youjin gave his two cents. “Yeah, you used him. Yeah, you might not be the greatest or most reliable friend for someone like Jihun, but you’re still his friend aren’t you?”

Seungjun blinked and looked down at the bottle he’d hardly touched, half the sticker peeled off at this point. When he just shrugged in reply, Youjin sighed loudly and leaned forward to get his attention. “Are you still trying to gain anything out of getting close to him? Are you still after Yuji?”

The boy’s lips twitched slightly, an answer reluctant to come out of his mouth because he really couldn’t put his thoughts into words properly. “Not really… Maybe…” Seungjun groaned and threw his head back, nearly hitting the wall with his skull from the sudden exasperated force. “I don’t know!” He threw his hand to his forehead and rubbed at his eyes, groaning a few more sounds as the life seemed to drain out of him at high speed.

Begrudgingly, his roommate stared on, half-loathing the sight of Seungjun falling apart, but looking more and more concerned either way. The guy let out a steady breath. “Look, it’s fine if you don’t really know what you’re feeling, but leaving Jihun to hang out to dry while you figure yourself out is kinda messed up too.” He got up and threw his bottle away, calling out from the kitchen, “You should at least try to do something with him to celebrate at least.”

Seungjun remained pouting on the couch, swigging the beer all around his mouth while he thought long and hard over Youjin’s words. At the very least he was glad to have someone like Youjin around for times like this, since he wasn’t the wishy-washy, unreliable, selfish person Seungjun was. Not to mention he was a great cook too.

That was when it hit Seungjun and he finally lit up, Youjin raising a brow when he noticed how quickly his roommate had seemed to start cheering up. Nodding to himself, Seungjun smirked and beamed at Youjin standing just outside the kitchen. “You’re right, I should have him over tomorrow. We should celebrate properly…” He trailed off in some thought, eyes darting over several things around the room as if his brain was finally processing for the first time in years.

Youjin headed toward the entryway of their apartment and grabbed a coat, slipping it on as he called back. “So you’re just gonna have Jihun over tomorrow? What about Yuji?”

Seungjun snapped out of it and stared cluelessly as the man tried to fix the hood hanging off the back of his shoulders. Frowning, the boy finished off his beer and whined, “I can’t have Yuji over, that’d be like another date.”

“And just having Jihun over wouldn’t?” Youjin added with little interest as he moved into his room and came back out seconds later with keys in hand.

Seungjun however merely looked to his friend like the answer was obvious. “No… it’s just Jihun after all…” Then suddenly he brightened up and gleamed at some epiphany beyond Youjin’s comprehension. “That’s right! It’d be a date if Yuji was there, but not with Jihun! That's right…” He mumbled a bit more while Youjin stared until he finally shook his head and headed to the door. As he slipped his shoes on, Seungjun finally realized he was leaving and asked, “Wait, where are you going?”

Youjin glanced back and opened the door. “Out for some drinks. _Someone_ had to drag me home for a therapy session on a perfectly good Friday night.” Waving back briefly, he was gone in seconds and Seungjun scoffed. One thing for sure was that he’d need to get Youjin to leave before he got Jihun to come over tomorrow. He didn’t want to risk an evening full of frustration because he had to sit through Jihun flirting with his handsome roommate again.

Once it hit sunset the next day, Seungjun was panicking. He had messaged Jihun the night before about whether he’d want to come over for dinner to make up for not being there after the game, though now the pressure was getting to him the more minutes ticked away. He should consider himself lucky Jihun even agreed to come after how Seungjun had treated him. Though, as he stared down at the slightly burnt pieces of hashed chicken in the pan before him, he could only curse. He ended up not needing to convince Youjin to leave since the guy already made plans with his girlfriend for the evening, so now Seungjun was alone with a messy kitchen and food that looked like Frankenstein’s monster. If only his cooking god roommate had been there, he could at least save this dinner somehow.

Dialing for his friend, he put it on speaker once the guy answered rather confused. “Seungjun?” He sounded like he was outside somewhere from the noise coming from the phone which made the boy feel a bit guilty for calling him. Though, not enough to compensate for his sheer desperation for help.

“Youjin! I need help with dinner…” Seungjun called out as he continued stirring the mix of badly-cut peppers, onions, and some other vegetables that probably shouldn’t have been put together.

A sigh droned out from the other side of the phone and after a bit of rustling, Youjin’s voice became clearer. He probably moved somewhere else knowing how much direction this would take on his part. “Okay, what are you making?”

Seungjun hummed. “Um… well I just wanted to try something I think I saw you make before…” Honestly, he just grabbed the most delicious-looking vegetables in the fridge, some chicken, and went with it.

The boy could almost hear Youjin’s hopelessness over the phone. “Okay, so you’re doing a stir-fry? Did you add some oil first?”

Blinking at the sight of his burning and much-too-dried-out food, Seungjun sifted through the cabinets and pulled out a bottle clearly labeled an oil of sorts. He didn’t know what the difference was between this one and the few others next to it, but it was in front so that must’ve meant Youjin used it a lot more, he thought. Pouring some into both pans he had, because he was cooking the meat and greens in separate pans unnecessarily, the sizzling grew louder and the boy flinched. Shoving the bottle far away from the oven top, Seungjun stirred them all some more and answered, “Yeah. It’s there. My problem is that it just tastes so bland. I already added some soy sauce and that barely changed anything.”

“If you have some meat, add some sugar. You can add some of the chili paste or garlic to add a bit of flavor…” Youjin’s advice was coming so quickly Seungjun and his unfamiliarity for the kitchen could hardly keep up. Grabbing what looked like sugar, he shook a bit onto the meat before realizing it was salt and quickly shoving it back into the cabinet. Grabbing the real sugar, he shook some more on top and spotted something labelled ‘chili’ and swiped that as well. Since he wasn’t sure whether they really had any garlic and for lack of time, Seungjun rashly dumped even more of the chili powder he had in hand into the pan.

“You still there? Did you add any vegetables yet?” Youjin finally asked when it was a little too quiet for a while.

Seungjun lit up like he was actually capable for once. “Yep! Already cooking them!”

“With the meat?” When Seungjun didn’t answer but just looked back and forth between the two pans cooking at different levels, Youjin added, “If it’s a stir-fry, you can just keep it in one pan--”

“I know! I know!” Grabbing ahold of the pan of veggies, he dumped them into the second, jumping back slightly from the hot splatter.

“Why are you making dinner anyway? For Jihun?” Youjin suddenly asked.

Reaching out for his phone, Seungjun rashly put it to his ear and sputtered, “I think I got it now, thanks Youjin!” Hanging up before Youjin could resist, the boy tossed his phone aside and stirred the food some more. Some of the oil dripping off the sides made the fire rage out of control and Seungjun mistakenly threw some water on to douse it. When he realized how horrible an idea that was, he saved the apartment from burning down with a nearby rag. The dinner barely made it out alive, and Seungjun let out a long sigh once he twisted the oven toggles off. Looking down at it all, the wave of insecurity only grew stronger. Taking a bite, the boy gagged. Seungjun spit out the chunk of dry, hot chicken and washed his mouth out with the tap water. There was no way he could serve this, especially to Jihun.

There was a knock at the door and Seungjun lit up. Shooting up from his seat, the boy’s steps echoed around the quiet room until a creak from the door’s old hinges stilled his movement. Opening the door, Seungjun’s lips curved into an awkward half-smile as he faced Jihun on the other side. As much as he had prepared himself this whole time to face the guy, Seungjun was still much too worried.

“Have a nice trip?” Too corny. He could feel himself breaking out into a sweat like the spotlight was already burning right on his face.

Jihun perked up as he untied his shoes in front of the tall boy, shrugging as he stood straight. “It was okay. A lot nicer out today.” He smirked. “Too bad we’re stuck inside for the night.” Seungjun frowned and headed off toward the living room where he had been silently waiting and mulling over things just before. Jihun let out a chuckle from awkwardness and trailed behind. “I’m kidding you know…” He stopped when a scent hit his nose at full throttle. “What’s that smell…” The boy stopped and peeked into the kitchen when Seungjun shot up and rushed over, trying to physically block the sight with his towering body.

“It’s nothing just something… I was… working on.” Seungjun blinked and avoided any eye contact with the kid in front of him.

Jihun raised a brow and stopped trying to see past the other’s looming broad shoulders. “Did you burn something? That wasn’t dinner was it?”

Seungjun flinched at the accurate guess and scratched at his cheek, looking back across the room to come up with some excuse that didn’t make him look so idiotic. Jihun took that opportunity to slip past and step into the kitchen, immediately overwhelmed by the strong smell circulating through the air of burnt meat and abundant spices. Pinching his nose closed, the younger boy laughed and picked out a piece of chicken, one could only assume, from the pan.

Turning back toward Seungjun, he held it up and joked, “Bon appetit…” He tossed it into his mouth before the other could warn him, though found himself spitting it out into the sink nearby and coughing like mad. The food was much too spicy and scorched it was like eating a wad of poison, which Jihun was now trying to wash out with some water from the sink.

“I tried to warn you…” Seungjun muttered and dumped the rest while the boy was preoccupied. He didn’t want Youjin of all people to be the next critic. “I tried to make something but it didn’t turn out right…” Nothing Seungjun did for Jihun seemed to be turning out right. It was like taking one step forward and two steps back every day. He shouldn’t have expected this night to be much different, Seungjun thought.

Once he finally cleared his throat enough, Jihun rubbed at his neck and sniffled, looking around outside in the living room for more food. “Well what are we having then? I’m starving.”

Following him out, Seungjun sat on the couch and turned on the television. He explained as he flipped through some channels, “I ordered pizza a while ago. It should be here soon.” Seungjun finally glanced at the boy standing around and mumbled again. “You can get comfortable. Not like it’s a fancy dinner anymore or anything…”

Jihun grinned briefly and looked around a few times before taking the seat next to Seungjun on the couch. The two both leaned away from each other, resting on each arm and watching the crappy melodrama playing during prime time. It was Saturday night; a night when most people at their school went out drinking or clubbing and couples met up for dates and late night encounters. Then there were these two, sitting around in silence waiting for the delivery guy to show up. This wasn’t how Seungjun had pictured this night going at all when the idea popped into his head the day before and it clearly bugged him. As he got a look at Jihun now, quietly thumbing at his knee again like he always used to when he was nervous, Seungjun’s stomach started to churn again. Pinching his own eyes, the elder boy sighed and finally got to the point. There was no use in dragging this all out anyway and spoiling their meal.

Seungjun sat up straight and turned slightly to face the kid better. After pursing his lips while finding the right words, he came out with it. “Jihun, I just want to let you know… I’m really sorry. About everything this whole week.” He fingered the end of his shirt and kept his eyes low, avoiding whatever look the kid was probably giving him right now. “I know that probably doesn’t mean much at this point, but I really am… sorry.” Glancing up, he was surprised to see Jihun look so stunned. The boy’s lips were zipped tight as he just looked back to Seungjun with uncertainty. Finally Seungjun met his gaze with his own determined glance and continued strong. “I’m going to call the whole deal off. I don’t want you to feel so burdened anymore… like I’m just using you.” He tried to smile but it wouldn’t come out right and Seungjun rubbed his nose to cover it up instead. “I won’t pretend to be your boyfriend when I’m just a jerk. That’s a little too cruel isn’t it?” Seungjun’s eyes shot up when he heard Jihun rustle in his seat and clarified, “We’ll be friends still though, that’s fine right? I don’t want to just toss you out like garbage or whatever.”

A little grin finally made its way across Seungjun’s lips as he glanced back at the other boy. Jihun was looking down at the couch, hand rubbing his knee again as he tried to find a comfortable position and the will to speak up after the drastic mood change in the room. Seungjun felt like he should’ve said something more, but the few loud knocks at the door stole his attention. Quickly, the older boy got up and answered the door, paying the delivery guy off and shuffling back with some small pizzas in hand that made both their stomachs rumble in need. It had hardly been seconds before Seungjun tore into one pie, chowing down on a piece before he noticed Jihun beside him. The boy had barely budged and started mumbling until he looked up to Seungjun and cleared his throat.

“Seungjun… I’m not mad at you or anything, you know that right?” He reached out to grab a piece but pulled his hand back when the slice was still too hot to hold. Leaning on his knees, he stared at the steam rising from the pizza and pouted, attempting to be more nonchalant about it all. “But I think there’s just a lot of miscommunication between us… so could you hear me out?” Seungjun nearly flinched when the kid met his glance again, but horked down his slice in hand and nodded along. Whenever Jihun began to speak his mind more, Seungjun seemed to slowly choke up.

Jihun bit his lip and crossed his arms across his lap, rubbing at his elbow as he continued. “I appreciate that you’re looking out for me and all, but could we keep the deal going? It’s just…” He glanced a few times at Seungjun who looked plenty surprised. “It’s just that… I like being friends with you, but I also still really like you. No matter how much you might think you’ve screwed up, I like you a lot.” Scratching at his neck, the younger boy grew more bashful and tried to hide some of the red in his cheeks. He chuckled once or twice and finally grabbed a slice of his own. “I’m not really sure how good it is for you, but for me this limited time together, playing pretend… it’s like living out one of my dreams. I know you’re not perfect, you’re actually a lot different than the guy I imagined you to be honestly.” An airy laugh escaped him and Seungjun pouted quietly. “If we’re just friends, then I can’t really like you anymore. I just kind of want the rest of this short time to do things you’d like to do with someone you like. Like you were really my boyfriend.” He could hardly look Seungjun in the eye, though when he finally did, he stuffed his face with pizza to hide his blush.

The older boy felt himself sinking into the couch, as if it was swallowing him whole like quicksand. Snapping out of his trance after hearing Jihun out, he tried not to show how easily flattered he had become and shoved another slice of pizza into his mouth. The two silently chewed their food and avoided one another’s gaze, until eventually their eyes happened to meet. Seungjun burst into a small fit of laughter and put down the remaining crust, patting the excess flour off his hands while humming. “I get it… I think.” Seungjun grinned wide and nodded. “I guess if you want to, then we can keep it going.” Giving his attention to the flashy scenes on the television, the older boy sat upright while his mind raced with distracting thoughts. Jihun continued to eat quietly, curling up into his seat while he watched the show as well. That is, until Seungjun stood up without a word and left to his room.

Coming back out seconds later, the boy’s grin had hardly diminished and he sat in a spot a tad closer toward the other boy. The two were practically brushing shoulders now, but Seungjun hardly deterred and held his closed fist out toward the boy. “I was going to give this to you the other day, but I couldn’t find a good time.” Uncurling his fingers, Seungjun held out the two bracelets and joked, “This will make us a little more official right? Or _un_ official… whatever this is.” With a laugh, he took one for himself and slipped it across his wrist immediately, admiring the color until he took a peek at Jihun just holding it in his palm. The boy’s eyes were widened, stunned as he looked at the little adornment in his hand. Seungjun smirked and grabbed onto the boy’s wrist and the bracelet, slipping the thing onto Jihun’s wrist for him. “See? I knew it’d look good on you.” Seungjun beamed and stared in awe at how fitting the jewelry was on Jihun’s slimmer wrist.

“Is this… a couple bracelet?” Jihun forced a laugh out though was obviously at a loss for words.

Seungjun shrugged and nudged the kid’s shoulder, leaning closer next to him and cooing. “I figured since I can’t go to practice this week because of my exams coming up I might as well give you this. So you’ll always have a little part of me with you, you know?”

Jihun blinked and pushed the guy further away, laughing to himself. “You’re too corny.” Thumbing at the bracelet, the boy stared down at his wrist with a gleam in his eye that Seungjun hardly missed.

Yet, Seungjun didn’t comment on it and went back to watching the television, hogging a few more pieces of pizza for himself with a smirk. “You better grab some before I eat it all.” His words bringing Jihun back down to Earth, Seungjun held in a laugh as he watched the kid scramble to get some of the pizza that was left.

The rest of the night had gone pretty smoothly; Seungjun stealing some of Youjin’s games to try out with Jihun and regretting it as he lost in every round. Seungjun’s guest stayed playing and laughing with him until it was well past midnight. The older boy offered to take him home, but Jihun left quietly pleased on his own. It wasn’t until after Seungjun had gotten a text a while later from the other saying “ _Thanks for tonight. Night Hyung. :)_ ” that he finally turned in for the night, a smile still plastered on his face all the while.

Seungjun woke up pretty late in the day, enjoying his time to sleep in without his roommate being noisy in the kitchen so early. As there was no sign of his friend around from what he could tell, Seungjun assumed that meant Youjin stayed overnight with his girlfriend and he gagged. He never realized his roommate was such a dirty dog.

With nothing else to do and no one else to brag to about how well his dinner surprisingly went the night before, Seungjun got some classwork and reading done. He passed a few hours calmly, checking his phone every now and again for any new messages to no avail. Getting bored after some time, Seungjun leaned back in his seat and flipped through his phone. He opened his conversation with Jihun briefly until a message popped up from Haeryeong.

> _“Are you busy? I was on campus and wanted to give your jacket back.”_
> 
> _“It’s fine if you’re preoccupied though ^^”_

Seungjun blinked and thought for a moment until the memory of his missing jacket suddenly came flooding back to him. Mouth hung open in shock at how long he went without even thinking about it, he instantly replied with an invitation over. If anything, this was also a good opportunity to avoid some more school work.

Some time later and a few rounds of a silly game on his phone, Seungjun answered the knock at his door with a wide grin. “It’s been a while. You didn’t get lost right? This is a bit of a weird neighborhood.” Seungjun joked and lightened the mood, eager to have the girl’s company from how bored he had become being alone all day.

Haeryeong grinned and shook her head, giggling to herself as she slipped her shoes off and followed Seungjun’s direction inside. The guy pointed in a few directions and showed her around until he noticed the large, dark coat folded over her arms. Taking it from her, he thanked her for the trouble, “I had forgotten all about this to be honest. You probably could’ve kept it without a problem.” He laughed and went to go hang it up while the girl stood around and gleamed. She looked all around the room in interest until the guy returned, an umbrella in hand. “And I should probably give this back to you, shouldn’t I?” Handing the umbrella over, Seungjun beamed while the girl took it into her hands with delay. She seemed like she had forgotten about it herself, but also somewhat uncertain about something. Still, Seungjun didn’t want to seem like a bad host and went into the kitchen, calling back. “You want something to drink? It was probably hot out on the way here right?”

The girl blinked and grinned sweetly. “Water’s fine, thanks.” Wandering in slow steps around the living room, she took in all the decorations and furniture around her while she waited for the boy to return. “The weather today is alright. A little breezy actually.” She spun around when she heard Seungjun approach from behind. “I like this type of weather the most.”

Seungjun handed a cup of water to the girl and sat back in the spot in front of his books laid out across the coffee table. Nodding toward the spot next to him, he called the girl over who seemed a little too hesitant to do anything without her host’s insistence. “Make yourself at home. My roommate’s gone right now so it’s just us.”

Looking toward the hall where the bedrooms were, Haeryeong took a seat next to Seungjun and sipped at her water. She held the glass in her lap while some of the water outside the cup seeped into the fabric of her skirt, though she didn’t mind it and looked back up at the boy beside her. She pushed some of her long, loose hair behind her ear and broke the silence. “So you’re busy with school I take it?” She glanced at all the books across the table, the sheer amount of all the bookmarks sticking out of pages quite intimidating.

“Oh this? Nothing I can’t finish in a few days.” The girl’s host smirked with confidence and leaned back into the cushion, enjoying this time for leisure as momentary as he knew it to be. “Don’t worry though, I haven’t been so busy with school that I couldn’t hang out with you.” Stretching his arms, the boy chimed, “To be honest, hanging out with you is a good way to relieve stress. I feel like I can talk to you pretty easily.” He joked as she looked away in embarrassment. “Just don’t let me talk too much though. Tell me to shut up if you really want.”

Holding back a chuckle, the girl bit her lip and fingered at the cup between her hands. There was another moment of silence between them until she got more comfortable in this unfamiliar place. “I think I’m the one that doesn’t talk enough.” With a glance at the guy, her lips curved into a bright smile. “Though that’s probably good for our duo isn’t it? Having two talkative people would be too much.” She tried to joke and laughed somewhat awkwardly at herself, shoulders still stiff from tension.

Though, Seungjun’s giddy laugh helped lighten them both up. “I almost forgot, I didn’t find a good name for us.” Clearing up some of his things on the table, he left some more room for her to put the glass down and put his work away, humming the meanwhile. “Did you think of anything good?”

Haeryeong pursed her lip and tilted her head, thinking about it. Though, when nothing came to mind she shyly smiled and shook her head. “No, I’m not very good at that stuff.”

Seungjun scoffed. “Come on, whatever you thought of probably wasn’t as bad as some of my suggestions.” With a sigh, the boy got up and put some of his books away back in his room that he was done with. Once he returned and got a drink of his own, he noticed Haeryeong peering at his phone on the table and giggling to herself.

“Who’s ‘My Husband’?” She looked up, her interest piqued by the bizarre nickname.

Blinking in confusion from how the sudden question threw him off, Seungjun sunk into his seat and shortly came back to his senses with an embarrassed laugh. “Oh that’s just a friend…” He picked up the phone and checked out the message, rolling his eyes at the kid’s first message since last night.

> _“Hyung, when I finish this paper can you go over it? You like doing nerdy stuff like that right?”_

All of a sudden Seungjun was somehow a geek who enjoyed reading papers in his free time and the guy huffed. Still, he grinned and responded with an okay before remembering Haeryeong was there next to him, ignorant to what was going on or who Jihun even was. Seungjun suddenly lit up and flipped through his phone’s photos. “Actually, this might sound a little weird, but after I helped you that first time back at the beginning of the year, I told my friends and they joked that I should turn it into a job.” The girl nodded, trying to follow along as he explained in what he hoped would be the least strange way possible. “Well you’d be surprised how many other girls were willing to pay to pretend I’m their boyfriend so I kind of made it a thing for a while.”

As Seungjun flipped through some old photos he took with previous clients and showed them off to her, Haeryeong nodded in silence, staring at each photo with little reaction. “I see… I guess you’re pretty popular then.” She let out a short, stale laugh, but was quickly muffled by the other’s louder chuckle.

“I know it looks kind of sleazy but it was a good way to make money. I stopped doing it a little while ago though. Don’t think I’ll need to be doing it again.” With a shrug, he pulled up one of the early photos he took with Jihun and showed it off, laughing. “There was even a guy that wanted me to help him.” Letting her go through the photos herself, Seungjun was entertained by her expression in reaction and gleamed. “Anyway, that’s the person I have listed as ‘My Husband’. Since we were pretending I wrote it in like that. Kinda funny right?”

Haeryeong glanced up and handed the phone back after she’d had enough and smiled softly. Pushing some hair behind her ear again, her eyelids fluttered when she finally asked. “So you still talk to all of them? Even though you weren’t really friends or anything?”

Seungjun instantly shook his head, brows furrowed as he cleared the air. “No, no. I’m only friends with this guy since we’re guys. I never got close to the others.” He joked, “That’d be a little too awkward even for me.”

The girl grinned and loosened up. “Oh…” She blinked once a glint of blue caught her eye. With a grin she cooed at the sight. “So you kept that? It looks nice on you.” She pointed to the bracelet on the boy’s wrist as he held up his phone in front of him, winning his attention pretty quickly.

“Oh, yeah. I actually got them to share with someone else…” He fingered the bracelet around his arm and softened his words.

She stared with a deep interest and leaned closer for a better look. “Is it for a girl you like?”

Seungjun smirked and held it close to his chest in a teasing manner as she tried to get a good look. “It’s for someone special I guess you could say.” With his sudden haughty pretense, the girl pulled back and let out a small trail of giggles.

The room quieted down until Haeryeong finally swallowed and turned slightly to face Seungjun better. “Oppa…” She started and pulled her hair over one shoulder. “You don’t think of me like those other girls that paid you, right?”

Surprised by the strange question, Seungjun took a second before dropping his hand and shaking his head. He reaffirmed her, “No way, I like being with you. You’re a lot more special to me than they are.” Though, he quickly turned his attention to his phone when it buzzed. He got a new message from Jihun, but barely had the time to read it when Haeryeong spoke up again.

“Well… I like you too…” The girl leaned in closer until Seungjun could do nothing _but_ face her. “I like you a lot, you know.” Pressing forward, Haeryeong was practically leaning over Seungjun’s entire lap as she abruptly went in for a kiss. Their lips collided and Seungjun had no place to go. Rather, he was too shocked to even move or push her away as she held his face in her hands, her warm, pink lips leaving a deep kiss on the guy’s mouth. Moving onto her knees on the couch, she leaned over the boy’s body and pressed further into it, hardly leaving any room between their chests or a response from Seungjun. In fact, the boy was at a loss for everything; words, thoughts, and anything else that would’ve helped him in that moment. Though, when an image soon popped into his mind of that forgotten kiss with Jihun, Seungjun soon pushed the girl off and took in some hefty breaths.

“W-What… What was that?!” He wiped the back of his hand over his mouth and looked at the stain from her lipstick faded over his skin, eyes moving rashly back and forth between the girl and his own hand.

Haeryeong’s face was red as she was caught off-guard by the boy’s rejection, stuttering over her own words as well. “I-I thought… you liked me…”

Seungjun’s voice rose in a lingering panic hitting him hard. “I thought we were just friends!”

“But that special someone you mentioned… wasn’t it me?” Her voice was cracking under the sudden pressure as well.

The boy stared wide-eyed and shook his head. “No, it’s… someone else.”

“You didn’t mention any girls you liked though!” She was getting worked up and Seungjun’s mind was in too much chaos to help make the situation any better.

“There aren’t any girls.” He hesitated.

Haeryeong raised an eyebrow. “What, are you gay then?”

“No! It’s not that!” Seungjun sighed as the girl looked like she was about to cry.

“What is it then? Me? You really don’t like me?” Her voice was shaky while her eyes became glossier by the second.

Standing up, Seungjun held his head in uncertainty about how to handle this. “No I just… don’t think of you that way. You’re my friend.” He knew the words wouldn’t console her at all, but they came out before he could stop then and next thing he knew, the girl was wiping her cheeks and rushing toward the door. Hastily slipping on her shoes before Seungjun could even try and stop her, she ran out tear-stricken, leaving Seungjun alone again with his heart and mind racing wildly. He didn’t know what to make of this whole thing and left to his room, slamming the door and collapsing on his bed. His phone buzzed with another message from Jihun and Seungjun merely tossed the device aside. He didn’t want to deal with anyone but himself for the rest of the night.


	7. Signals Over the Air

Outside, the chirping of birds and the fresh scent of blooming flowers carried over the air as petals wisped across campus. Indoors however was a completely different story. Students were rushing from one room to the next in frantic manners, holing themselves up in the quietest spaces to concentrate on the loads of work they needed finished in the next week or two. The whole school body was in a panic over upcoming finals, but the graduating class was on a different level entirely. Seungjun, though he didn’t have to worry so much with landing internships or finding entry-level jobs waiting for him after the semester like the majority of his classmates, was still no exception. He had a plan ready since the beginning of last year regarding his studies and had stuck to it pretty thoroughly so far. Though he had a good work ethic despite his laziness, he wasn’t a penchant for making his life all about school. The irony was that he did all this in order to become a teacher.

It wasn’t like Seungjun was becoming a teacher just because he loved being at school. Actually, that was the only thing that deterred him time ago from this career path. It was simply the more he thought about the kids he’d teach and how cool it would be to have his own desk and how those kids would probably look up to him as the coolest guy they knew was surprisingly enticing. To anyone else, this was probably a stupid reason to take on the job of educating the youth of the country, but at this point none of Seungjun’s plans made any sense in a rational viewpoint. It didn’t hurt that he was a nerd for grammar and literature either.

And that was exactly why he was now sitting here, shaking his pen to get any bit of remaining red ink out for the last page he was reviewing. He’d told Jihun he’d look over his paper for him, even deciding to print it out and edit it himself, but he never imagined it would be  _ this _ bad. He never took Jihun to be a dumb jock but as he scratched through an entire closing paragraph formed by one run-on sentence, a deep sigh left Seungjun along with his last remnants of hope. The kid needed more than Seungjun’s editing skills to save this paper, he needed a miracle.

After he’d finished completely ravaging Jihun’s paper, Seungjun checked the time. A smirk crawled across his lips at his perfect timing. Grabbing his bag stuffed full with books, his laptop, and some snacks to occupy his time working on his own schoolwork, he headed toward the library. He found a cozy spot on the second floor, tucked away behind some shelves of old likely outdated world history books. The whole area smelled like mothballs, but that was what made it his favorite place to be when he really needed to get things done. It was a quaint little table that was enough room for himself, maybe two as he had slightly hoped just for today.

Nearly two hours into his solitary confinement listening to soft rock and finishing his revisions for a paper, a tap on his shoulder stirred him from his trance. Seungjun’s heart slowed from its scare once he turned and realized it was Jihun standing beside him with a cart of some books in tow. The boy giggled to himself while looking Seungjun up and down. He waited until the elder tugged his headphones out of his ears to mock him. “You’re such an easy scare. I can’t believe you jumped that much.”

Seungjun hardly noticed how surprised he had been and frowned at the other’s comment. “Well at least I’m not the one sneaking up on people who are hard at work.”

Jihun eyed the table filled with Seungjun’s things and rolled his eyes, playful smirk hardly leaving his expression. “Yeah, you’re so busy. What, with texting on your phone, a huge bag of chips with hardly any more chips in them, and…” He leaned in closer to get a better view at Seungjun’s laptop, squinting his eyes to read the words of a tab in his browser. “A page for reading comics up. You’re so studious.”

“I was just taking a break you know…” Seungjun muttered though didn’t push the kid away.

Standing upright, Jihun giggled again and joked, “Yeah and I guess you took a break an hour ago to watch that show on your computer right?” He stood proud to reveal that little-known fact to Seungjun as he became increasingly embarrassed of his laziness.

The older boy huffed, “So you really are stalking me still?”

“No,” Jihun retorted nonchalantly. “I saw you earlier when I was putting some books away, but I wanted to wait until it got slower to actually talk to you.” The kid pushed his cart further down toward the shelf nearest Seungjun’s table and put away a handful of books back into their proper place. He rearranged some of the titles that were sitting there out of order and called back, “I thought you said you couldn’t come see me for a while, though.”

Now Seungjun was the one smirking, thinking himself oh-so-clever. “I said that about spending lunch with you at practice. This is just me going to the library to study where you also happen to work.”

Jihun glanced back once, then turned to stay facing the shelves. It was obvious he was flattered by the thought. “During the times when I work too… Who exactly is the stalker now?” He joked and won a laugh from Seungjun. As he slid the last book in his hands into the shelf, Seungjun caught a glimpse of blue on his arm and noticed the bracelet around Jihun’s wrist. The elder boy turned around in his seat and leaned on his arm to hide his pleased grin as he eyed the same bracelet on his own wrist. He was giddy over something so cheesy it would’ve been embarrassing if Jihun noticed.

“Oh, right.” Seungjun lit up and reached into his bag, pulling out the boy’s paper from a folder and waving it in the air toward Jihun, beckoning him over. “I finished looking at your paper. You might wanna sit down when you look at it…” He warned the boy who seemed wary as he approached the table. Jihun took the papers in his hands and stood there, dreading the overwhelming amount of red marks on the first page alone. “Pull up a chair, I’ll give you some pointers.” He nodded toward the chair across from him and moved his belongings to the side. Giving Jihun some room at the table in the spot right beside him, he waited until the boy hesitantly pulled the chair opposite Seungjun to the other side. The both of them were much too large for squeezing next to each other at such a tiny table, but neither of them minded brushing shoulders.

Seungjun gave the boy a minute to look over the paper, eyes glancing over to his side when he turned the page and the air only turned more tense. He saved his progress on his own paper and leaned on the table to face the boy. “It’s not  _ that _ bad, don’t look so sad.” Seungjun nudged him to lighten up, but Jihun merely returned his words with a stale half-smile.

“Yeah… Thanks…” He mumbled and turned the next page, wiping the grin off his face at the next dozen of mistakes marked across the paper.

“Well, I could go one step further and write the whole thing for you…” Seungjun offered and Jihun blinked in surprise only to be met with Seungjun’s cheeky grin as he held out his palm. “For the right price. I’m not a cheap guy, you know.” He sneered and Jihun chuckled with a much more natural ease. 

Setting the papers down onto the tabletop, Jihun crossed his arms over it and repressed the heavy sigh that wanted to escape. “Well if my paper’s any indication of how much of a grammar nerd you are, then I think you could make a living off of this.” He huffed out a laugh and hunched his back as he got comfy. 

Seungjun looked up, thinking about the idea for a moment. “Yeah, that might be a good idea. I’m sure most of the people at this school write about the same as you do, anyway.”

Jihun shrugged, “No, seriously. I think you could do alright revising papers for some money. Seems better suited for you than selling yourself as someone’s boyfriend.”

“Why do you say that? Because I’m a nerd?” Seungjun laughed a bit, though was somewhat embarrassed when his old odd job was brought up in the conversation.

“Well…” Jihun started and looked around like he was trying to find the right way to phrase it without offending Seungjun. “You just seem sort of… sensitive? Like you really care about what people think so I’m surprised you broke so many girls’ hearts.” He grinned but Seungjun merely frowned.

Rolling his eyes, Seungjun scoffed. “And this is coming from the biggest baby I know.” He whined some more. “I had some thicker skin back then. I was a bit of a prick remember?”

The younger boy hid his smile behind his hand and chuckled. “So you’ve changed since then?”

Seungjun stared down the boy, confident in winning back his pride. “I changed because of you.” When Jihun’s eyes fluttered and his ears tinted red, Seungjun laughed a bit too loud and leaned in, cooing. “That’s what you wanted to hear, right?”

Jihun suddenly stood from his seat and went back to his cart, stuttering, “Y-You’re the one who said it, not me.” The kid was trying desperately to play it cool, but Seungjun just found the sight hilarious. Endearing, but hilarious.

Seungjun cleared his throat as he turned back to the last page of his own paper. Jihun blinked back at him, dumbfounded until Seungjun slid the revised paper toward the boy. “You wouldn’t want to forget this, right?”

Flustered, Jihun reached out and made several attempts at grabbing the paper before finally getting ahold of it and tossing it onto the top of his cart. His shoulders were stiff as he pushed the cart around the corner, Seungjun chuckling to himself when the boy was out of sight. At least now he had some more motivation to finish up his work after that little run-in. After all, he had been waiting all day to talk to the kid again whether he acknowledged it himself or not.

Like that, Seungjun came back to the library around the same time the next day and the day after that. He managed to spend most of his time finishing up his project and papers, squeezing in every chance to hang out with Jihun on his breaks or distract the kid as he tried, hardly, to do his job. Each time Seungjun came in and found his usual spot he began to worry whether Jihun would even be there that day or if he was taking a day off. It wasn’t like Seungjun needed to know the guy’s schedule so thoroughly,  _ he  _ wasn’t the stalker out of the two after all, but it started to dawn on him how little he really personally knew Jihun. Of course by now he knew things he did and his family and friends, though in the vaguest of senses. Now sitting beside him, laptop open to a page of comics as Jihun was revising his paper after Seungjun’s editing, he stared the boy down. 

Eventually Jihun noticed, probably felt the hole the guy was burning into his face with his intense staring, and hesitantly inquired about why Seungjun looked so stern. “What’s wrong with you? You should see your face right now.” He suppressed a chuckle and took his headphones out of his ears, the warped sounds of some hip-hop leaking out of the earbuds amidst the quiet.

Seungjun hardly snapped out of his bizarre trance and instead leaned further atop the table. He stopped his music a while ago and was turned slightly to face the kid better. “What’s your favorite color?”

Jihun blinked, his voice trailing off into a confused hum as he tried to work his head around what brought this up. “Color?”

“Yeah.” Seungjun didn’t drop it and pressed on. “And your birthday.”

Helplessly the other boy laughed a bit, albeit with an awkwardness that was plenty apparent. “Why do you want to know right now?”

“Because I never asked.” Seungjun sighed when it was clear Jihun still wasn’t getting it and sat up straight, messing around with his nearest pen. Flicking the pen repeatedly, he explained, “I was just thinking about how we don’t really know each other even though we’re dating.”

Jihun shrugged, “Well… we’re not  _ really _ dating though.”

“Yeah but we’re still friends right?” Seungjun’s brows were slightly furrowed with thought.

Slowly, Jihun nodded and glanced back at his computer screen. The music from his headphones could be heard during their moment of silence, until Jihun changed screens and paused it. “I like blue the most… like a dark blue.” He looked back to the other boy, unsure of what to really add.

Seungjun instantly lit up, a small grin creeping across his lips. “I like that color too!” He nodded toward the boy’s shirt and beamed, “It makes sense too now, that you always shine a lot more wearing your jersey.” 

“Thanks…” Jihun couldn’t contain his grin as he looked down at his team jersey, Seungjun knowing full well that was his way of trying to hide how pleased the compliment made him.

When Jihun seemed to slowly warm up to this sudden exchange of information, he continued, “My birthday’s in October.”

“Oh…” Jihun looked up like he was thinking about something, fingering at his earbud. “Mine’s February 20th.”

“Really?!” Jihun jumped slightly, trying to hush him as his voice was much too loud for a quiet floor of the library. Though, Seungjun didn’t really care since hardly anyone was even near their area. Still, he quieted down a bit and added, “So then when we met I had just missed it… Sorry.”

Jihun giggled to himself and shook his head. “I mean it was about a month after that when we met, but thanks?”

They shared a few more meaningless facts between themselves like you’d see on some questionnaire for making friends in elementary school, Seungjun taking delight in it all. Jihun seemed to be easing into the discussion nicely, laughing at a few stupid comments and weird interests that Seungjun had all the while. Then, Seungjun hummed and raised a brow. “So why did your parents name you Jihun?”

Already back to working on his paper, editing a few simple punctuation and citation errors that Seungjun had marked for him, Jihun cocked his head and raised a brow. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Seungjun started, trying to hold in a small laugh. “They must’ve known your name sounds like ‘kimchi’ when you say it. It’s kind of funny.”

Jihun hardly showed it, but he was clearly annoyed and looked back to his computer, nodding slowly to himself. “You know, Inseong said the same thing before.” He shrugged and deleted a sentence in the document. “I never really noticed it.”

Seungjun frowned. He felt somewhat guilty for teasing him over something he couldn’t help, especially if Inseong of all people had done the same thing. Tapping his pen a few times on the table top, Seungjun had turned to get back to his own work before letting out a deep sigh, head hanging low. “Okay fine.” He started and resituated himself in his seat. “Don’t laugh okay?” 

“About what?” Jihun mumbled with only half his attention on the other until he caught a glimpse at Seungjun staring him in the eye. Seungjun was sitting turned toward him with such a drastic change of demeanor it nearly startled Jihun. 

“I haven’t told anyone this. Ever.” Seungjun sighed again and rubbed the back of his neck. “But I figure if we’re being honest with each other, then the least I could do is let you know a secret.”

Jihun nodded once and leaned into the back of his chair. “You’re gay?”

It wasn’t long before Seungjun clicked his tongue and motioned to throw his pen at the kid in frustration. “No, not that.”

The younger shrugged and smirked. “Well, one can hope.”

Rolling his eyes, Seungjun pushed his pen further away from himself and turned forward in his seat, leaning on the table as he explained. “Seungjun isn’t… my real name.” He shook his head and shut his eyes, rewording his secret, “Well, it’s my name now, but it’s not the name I was born with.” He glanced over at Jihun who was simply staring off and waiting for the revelation with little interest. Dreading the oncoming truth, Seungjun sighed. “My name’s actually… Gyeong..bok….”

Seungjun managed to hide most of his face behind his hand as he turned his head to see Jihun’s reaction, but it took the kid a moment to really process this new and disturbing information. Once he did, his lips curled into a smile of disbelief as he leaned in. “Wait… Are you serious?”

“Unfortunately. My family’s kind of… old-fashioned.” The older boy pouted as Jihun started sputtering a few laughs.

Throwing his hands up to cover his uncontrollable laughing fit, Jihun curled over his lap and tried to catch his breath. “So you’re Park Gyeongbok? What generation were you even born in?”

The older boy was darting glares at Jihun, but the kid was hardly fazed by it. Instead, Seungjun huffed and went back to his own work, typing away while Jihun continued to laugh another minute or so, babbling on about different jokes Seungjun had experienced all too well during his youth. “Are you finished yet?” Seungjun muttered and glanced to the kid still holding his gut and wiping a tear from his eye with his head tilted back over the edge of his seat.

Laughter trailing into exasperated breaths, Jihun held up a hand for a second before collecting himself. “Yeah, I think I’m good.” Pulling his seat closer to the table, he chuckled a few more times until he found his place in his document and continued his revisions. “Thanks for that laugh, I needed it.”

Seungjun bit his lip in annoyance while another moment of silence overcame them. Blinking from his computer toward Jihun’s hands moving across the laptop’s trackpad, the older boy questioned, “What do you mean?”

The younger boy glanced at the other and shrugged lazily. “I don’t know, I’ve just been a little stressed lately.” He clicked on a tab with an article up for his paper, which was hardly useful in Seungjun’s opinion, and opened up more. “Practice is getting more intense and then I have work and finals on top of it.” He faced Seungjun and grinned softly. “But hanging out with you has made me feel better so thanks.”

Seungjun caught himself staring into Jihun’s sincere gaze and shook the creeping feeling off his shoulders. “Not a problem.” He responded and mindlessly eyed some sentences in his essay. “Not like I have much of a social life either so I like getting to hang out too.” When he caught Jihun smiling to himself out of the corner of his eye, the boy sneered. Seungjun leaned closer and rested his head on Jihun’s shoulder momentarily while cooing, “I want to be with my boyfriend as much as possible before school ends.”

Jihun was blushing, but faked a cringed reaction and pulled away from the other. “You’re so greasy.” Gagging, the two laughed a bit more before focusing on their laptops. Seungjun hardly got anything done though as he spent most of their remaining time together watching Jihun’s reflection in his screen. The image of Jihun mouthing every word he typed was adorable.

When dusk had started warming over the city and Jihun had to get back to work for the last hour or two of his shift, Seungjun spent the rest of his time finishing up his presentation for his class with Yuji. A feeling of relief and excitement pulsated throughout his body as he looked the whole slideshow and examples over again. He wasn’t a very creative guy so he was amazed it looked as good as it did, but that was probably thanks to the advice he’d gotten from Yuji the last few days. It was the only thing they talked about in class lately and it felt so much more natural to say the least. Seungjun was acting more like himself around her now and it was much less stressful for him that way. He still enjoyed being around Yuji and admired her, but now he wasn’t like some stupid lovesick puppy whenever she was within his line of sight.

Saving his work, Seungjun collected his things, and his pile of trash from several snacks throughout the evening, into his bag and headed toward the first floor. Standing just outside the library’s front doors, Seungjun pulled out his phone and leaned against the cool brick wall behind him. He opened up his messages and grinned with lingering satisfaction as he texted Jihun;

> _ “You want dinner? I’ll wait outside for you.” _

He’d only glanced around a moment, watching some students he vaguely recognized mingle across the way before his phone buzzed with an instant reply.

> _ “ok. i’ll be out in 10. don’t get too impatient.” _

Seungjun rolled his eyes and huffed a snarky laugh to himself. It was nice that Jihun was at least sending texts more often and with more content to them now that they’d actually gotten closer, though he wasn’t sure if he really appreciated the jabs the kid took at him so freely now.

Seungjun managed to pass the time like he usually did, with games on his phone. He leaned quietly against the wall, arms crossed as he flicked through the simple game with his thumb. At least, he was until he heard footsteps approach him.

“Seungjun?” A girl called out with a wary tone in her voice. When the boy looked up from his screen he realized in the dim streetlights and the sunset that it was Haeryeong standing before him. Both her polished, soft hands gripped onto the thin strap of her purse at her side, her hair pushed back by a headband that left her nervous expression ever more clear.

Seungjun stood straight and clicked his phone off. It had been days since his last awkward encounter with Haeryeong and he hadn’t bothered to say anything to her. Actually, he’d been avoiding the whole incident altogether, hoping it would just kind of fade away into a forgotten fable. Yet he was now scolding himself for being so naive. People can’t just be thrown away so easily and mistakes couldn’t just be ignored like they never happened, especially not when you were Park Seungjun. Jihun’s claim that Seungjun was sensitive rang through his ears again and he cursed himself. Why did that kid have to be so right?

“So where are we going?” Jihun’s voice snapped Seungjun’s attention back down to Earth and this awkward situation in front of him. The guy had walked right into the middle of something Seungjun had failed to inform him of at all and it only stressed the older boy out more. When he realized that Haeryeong was talking with Seungjun, Jihun stopped next to the older boy and finally acknowledged her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Haeryeong smiled so innocently that even Seungjun could’ve believed there wasn’t a strange tension in the air between the three of them at the moment. “Oh, not at all.” She shook her head and glanced back toward another building across the street. “I was just with my friends and thought I saw Seungjun so I wanted to talk to him.” Fingering at her purse strap, the girl looked Jihun up and down and held out her hand to be polite. “I’m Na Haeryeong.”

Jihun blinked once and looked from the girl to Seungjun, then back to the girl. Extending his hand out, the boy smiled shyly and shook Haeryeong’s hand a few times. “Kim Jihun.” Haeryeong’s expression was hard to pick up as she bowed slightly, but Seungjun was sure he caught a glimpse of something sad, as momentarily as it was. Jihun quickly pulled his hand back and glanced to Seungjun beside him. “So are you two in the same class or?” Since Seungjun hardly said anything until now, Jihun struggled to keep up a normal conversation of sorts.

She smiled and shook her head. “Oh, no. We met a while back.” Haeryeong met with Seungjun’s gaze before he looked away. It was just too awkward to look her in the eye. “We’re just friends.” There was a hint of bitterness in her voice as she said that. It wasn’t a spiteful tone though, more like a hopelessness that made Seungjun feel even guiltier for leading her on.

Nodding all the while, Jihun silently looked from one to the other. Silence droned out over the three of them until Jihun realized he was just getting caught in the crossfire of whatever was going on. “I’ll give you guys a minute. It was nice seeing you.” He waved to Haeryeong and glanced at Seungjun while biting his tongue. Though he didn’t say anything, it was clear to Seungjun the kid was telling him to sort this out now. If only it was that easy.

Seungjun watched as Jihun headed off toward some bench a distance away, scratching the back of his neck when he looked back to the girl in front of him. Haeryeong was watching Jihun walk away as well, lowering her gaze to the ground under her. Her shoulders slouched but her grip was still tight around her bag, her whole demeanor changing to a pitiable image. Seungjun bit his lip and sighed. “Haeryeong, look…” He started and tensed up when her eyes shot up at him. “I’m… really sorry about the other day. You just surprised me, I didn’t think--”

“I know you didn’t, but I did.” She shook her head and smiled to herself, looking off to the side while her eyelids fluttered to keep tears from building up. “I should be the one apologizing but instead it’s you.” An empty laugh left her pink lips. “Why do you have to be so nice after what I did…”

Seungjun shook his head fervently and reached out to hold her shoulders and sooth her some more. “No, no, no. You didn’t do anything bad.” He tried laughing a bit but worried it came off too forced. “Trust me, I’ve dealt with a lot worse. I’m the one who was being dense and it ended up making you feel bad.” The only solution Seungjun had was to constantly blame himself, but even he wasn’t convinced by it. Rather than being sincere or honest with the fact he was extremely uncomfortable by what happened and even talking to her now, he instead tried to satisfy her enough to part ways and be done with it all. He didn’t have the right mind to deal with something like this right now, especially with how he only recently started to feel better these last few days. Seungjun glanced over at Jihun waiting on the bench with his phone out, biting his lip while his mind swirled with what to say.

Following Seungjun’s gaze, Haeryeong looked over to Jihun as well for a moment before slipping out of Seungjun’s grasp. Wiping at her eye delicately as to not ruin her makeup, she sniffled once and breathed out a chuckle. “You don’t have to say stuff like that. I get that I messed up and made you feel bad. I get it.” She looked down at Seungjun’s hands as they fell to his sides and frowned. “I get everything.” Lifting her head, she gave a shaky smile and fixed her bag over her shoulder. “I’m sorry. Even though I still like you, can we at least still be friends?”

Though something still felt off about the whole ordeal, Seungjun was victim to the poor girl’s glossy doe eyes. Slowly, he nodded with subtle motion and softened his voice. “Sure. I wouldn’t want to lose a good friend like you anyway.” His lips twitched into a smile from how forcibly calm and collected he had to be as to not work her up any more than she already was, and it seemed to work enough. The girl smiled and excused herself back toward where her friends were. Seungjun immediately moved toward the boy waiting for him on the bench and stopped right before him.

Jihun looked up from his phone, a little surprised by how quickly they parted. “Oh? Did she leave already?” A cheeky smirk spread across his face. “See what I said? You break so many girls’ hearts.” 

Seungjun didn’t say a word to his little remarks and simply reached out, gripping onto Jihun’s arm. “Let’s go.” He mumbled and tugged a bit at the kid’s arm, stepping away while dragging Jihun behind.

Confused to say the least, Jihun tucked his phone away and stood up, following after while Seungjun held on tight to his wrist. “Okay, okay! What’s up with you?” He tried pulling his arm away as he caught up and walked next to the guy, but stopped as he got a look at Seungjun’s face. “Do you have to hold onto my arm though?” The younger boy spoke more gently and tried lightening the mood, despite Seungjun’s discomfort.

“I do this with Youjin when I need to so don’t make it such a big deal.” Seungjun muttered as they strolled down the street. “Now can we find somewhere to eat? All this has made me hungry.”

Jihun rolled his eyes, his arm stiffened as Seungjun’s grip hardly faltered. They walked that way for some time until slowly Seungjun started loosening his hold on the boy. In that moment, Jihun finally proposed, “If you let me go then I’ll pay for the both of us.” In a second he felt his hand slip free of the older’s grasp and the boy chuckled. “You’re so predictable. And clingy.”

“Please!” Seungjun interjected and stifled a laugh himself, keeping his arms folded and his hands to himself now while the distance between them remained close. “You’re one to talk,  _ Kimchi _ .” He emphasized his new nickname with a sneer in his voice until the younger boy smirked.

“Whatever you say,” Jihun eyed the older boy for his reaction. “ _ Gyeongbok _ .” Seungjun snapped a menacing glare his way and pouted. He looked like he wanted to hit the kid’s arm or push him away again in annoyance, but kept his hands folded as to not lose out on his oncoming free meal. Jihun burst out into small giggles and motioned toward the other. “See? Predictable.” Seungjun usually would’ve teased back some more, maybe even gotten a bit physical with his quick temper and childish nature, but he was content with the situation. They both didn’t bring up what went on with Haeryeong and himself and Seungjun was glad about it. He was glad he had Jihun there to cheer him up again.

That dinner out was the last time Seungjun had seen Jihun for the rest of the school week. He’d gone to the library again the next day, but didn’t run into the boy at all during the whole evening. Figuring Jihun must’ve been busy as well, Seungjun didn’t question it and stuck to his work. Really, the pressure started to hit him that he needed to present his semester-long project in just another day and he forgot all about any other distractions for the meantime. Seungjun wasn’t one for meltdowns, at least not over school work, yet even he wasn’t immune from self-doubt and pessimism.

The morning of his presentation he went over everything two or three times from his usual spot in class. He’d arrived nearly an hour earlier than their own professor just to be prepared. What he didn’t expect was for Yuji to arrive pretty early as well. He hadn’t even noticed she’d walked in until he heard the startling screech of the chair beside him dragging across the floor. She mouthed an apology as he lit up at her presence. A new sort of tension rose across his skin that overtook the one from his project. “Didn’t think I’d see you here so early.” Seungjun welcomed the girl as she took a seat next to him, pulling out her own laptop to get some work done.

Slipping her short jacket off and hanging it off the back of her chair, she beamed. “I should be the one saying that about you.” She joked, “You know most students take this time to finish their projects last minute, right?”

Flicking his pen around as he moved his files over onto a flashdrive, Seungjun shrugged with some pride. “I like to be prepared so I finished early.” A smile naturally spread across his lips as the girl giggled to herself.

“Yep. That’s a book nerd for you.” Scooting her seat closer to the table, she nodded toward Seungjun’s side. “Could you open a window? It’s so hot out lately.”

“Sure.” The boy stood up in seconds and turned toward the wide window a seat away from him. Propping it open enough for a breeze to roll in, he grinned at the sight of Yuji’s slight curls bobbing from the sudden wind across her shoulder. The wrinkles in her romper smoothed over her body while her body relaxed into the breeze. Returning to his seat, his project finished copying over and he opened up a browser of the last comic he was reading. “And I like to think of myself as a literature enthusiast.”

Yuji glanced over at his screen as the image abruptly changed and laughed at his comment. “Funny you say that as you’re reading a comic. I didn’t think you were the type to be into that kind of stuff.”

The boy shrugged and clicked to the next page. “Yeah, it’s fun.”

Without much else to say for the time being, Yuji kept to herself and her own work for the upcoming presentations of the day. Every once and again Seungjun peaked over at her, grinning to himself as he mindlessly flipped through his comic to pass the time and relax temporarily. Suddenly after a few more students showed up looking frantic or exhausted from all-nighters, she lit up and focused on the boy next to her. “Oh right. I almost forgot, but Jihun told me to wish you luck today.” She gleamed, “I think he didn’t even realize you had such a big project today until I mentioned it yesterday.”

“You talked to Jihun?” The boy blinked and paused at the beginning of the next chapter.

She nodded, adding nonchalantly, “Just through texts. I haven’t seen him all week with how busy he is.” Saving some files she had opened, she opened her email and clicked on something from their professor. “But that’ll make our next night out together more fun. If we win I mean… which we probably will.” She showed her confidence in their team for the upcoming game, making Seungjun slightly more excited at the thought.

“I’ll make sure to be there this time too.” Closing his laptop with how close it was getting to the beginning of their class, he sat back in his chair and stretched his legs. “Probably will need a few drinks after this class is over anyway.” He joked, proud of himself for winning another smile from the radiant girl. Though he didn’t seem to have his old stupid crush on Yuji anymore, he still couldn’t help but be entranced by her striking image as she laughed.

“That’s good that you’ll come. Jihun was so bored last time, he hardly had anything to drink.” Yuji gathered her own things to move toward the front before their professor got there. “You gotta help us loosen him up. He’ll probably only have fun if you’re there.” She waved back as they parted ways and their teacher walked in minutes later. The gruelling process of presentations weighing a hefty portion of their final grades began and Seungjun was completely confident and relaxed. He was actually glad he didn’t seem to have a crush on Yuji anymore, at least to the extent it had been only a month ago. Otherwise, Seungjun would’ve been a lot more stressed at a moment he really didn’t need to be. Now, he was feeling refreshed and confident. Whether it was the thought of Jihun cheering him on or the open window feeding him cool, fresh Spring air, he didn’t mind.

Admittedly, Seungjun had a bit of a hop in his step as he made his way back home. His presentation went swimmingly and now he was ready to fly by the last week of classes just handing in the last few papers he’d already finished. All that was left to worry about was his actual graduation just around two weeks away, though that had yet to really hit him like it had others. Sucking down some coffee he’d gotten on the way back, he smacked his lips at the foamy taste of cream and dragged his keys out of his pocket. The boy trudged up the stairs to his floor, skipping steps with his long legs and sudden excess energy, and opened the door in joy to brag to his roommate about his successful day.

“Oh great. He’s early.” Seungjun swore he heard Youjin groan slightly as the front door creaked open and the boy stepped inside. Standing in the entryway, Seungjun let the door shut on its own behind him when he froze up at the bizarre sight before him. Youjin was sitting on the couch, television on and playing some action movie that blew up last year, which Seungjun must’ve seen a dozen times already. It wasn’t that sight that surprised Seungjun though, but the girl on the couch snuggled next to his roommate under the same blanket as him. It was too hot out for that, Seungjun thought and frowned.

“I’m home.” Seungjun announced a little too loudly as he slipped off his shoes and stepped further inside, getting a better look at Youjin and his girlfriend.

Youjin sighed rather loudly. “I noticed.”

If Seungjun could frown any more, he would have. Slipping into the kitchen, he grabbed a snack and was hit by the smell of sweets baking in the oven. Probably something Youjin was making for him and his girlfriend and it made Seungjun roll his eyes. Hoping to just maneuver past the two of them and bee line for his room, the boy hurried out of the kitchen until a strange voice stopped him.

“You’re Seungjun right?” Youjin’s girlfriend called after him and he paused in his step. Turning to face her out of politeness, Seungjun tried to keep face as the small girl pulled the blanket off and reached out to shake his hand. “I’m Hyein. Youjin’s girlfriend.”

Reaching out with some hesitation, Seungjun shook her hand and pulled back rather quickly. He’d only seen the girl in pictures before, but seeing her in real life she looked even smaller and frail than he thought. Not to mention her voice was like a prepubescent child as well, it really made Seungjun question his roommate’s morals. “Nice to meet you.” Seungjun mumbled, trying not to sound too uncomfortable.

Hyein cooed and looked Seungjun up and down, then looked back to Youjin and playfully smacked his shoulder. “You never said your roommate was so handsome!” She revealed to Seungjun, “He always just complains about you to me, can you believe that?”

Seungjun smirked and glared at Youjin for ruining his reputation. “Oh I believe it.” Turning away, he began off to his room again, in a rush to get away from this situation altogether. “This was fun, but I got some work to do. Bye.” He trailed off in the most obvious apathetic tone.

Shutting his door and flopping onto his bed, he tossed his bag onto the floor beside him and let out a long, exhausted breath. He was sure he was going to have to wait out the time Youjin’s girlfriend was here holed up in his room. As much as he loved his roommate there was probably no way he could really acknowledge his girlfriend. It was just too awkward.

A knock came briefly at Seungjun’s door before Youjin opened it. Seungjun grumbled. If he was going to open it anyway, then what was the point of knocking? “Hey,” Youjin started and glared at Seungjun across the room from the doorway. “Hyein’s staying the weekend so try not to be too much of a dick, okay?”

Seungjun shot up on his mattress with a hectic look in his eyes. “What?! The whole weekend?” He looked his roommate up and down in disgust. “You only impress me more and more each week with how dirty you can be.”

Youjin rolled his eyes, though slightly embarrassed by Seungjun’s comments when his own girlfriend was within earshot. Luckily the television was up loud enough during the movie’s climactic fight scene. “I don’t question what you do with Jihun on the weekends, so…”

Seungjun scoffed and looked more disgusted and embarrassed. “Because we don’t do anything like that. We’re not really dating, remember?” His hand was nearing a pillow he’d likely beam at his roommate during his next outburst.

“It’s not  _ me _ you should be telling…” Youjin mumbled under his breath and leaned in for the last word. “I’m just saying, no judgement here. So keep it to yourself this weekend, okay?” Shaking his head at the last glare thrown his way, he shut the door behind him and made his way back to his girlfriend. Seungjun threw himself back onto his bed and groaned. How could he let her stay the whole weekend at  _ their _ place? Granted, Youjin paid most of the rent since he had a more stable job than Seungjun, but he could at least pay some consideration for his dear friend too. Seungjun frowned and rolled onto his side, messing with his phone. He even wanted to watch the movie again too, but there was no way he was going out there now. 

A few minutes of sitting there mindlessly scrolling through SNS and eavesdropping on the muffled noise from the movie outside, Seungjun grew impatient. He sat up in his bed and opened up his messages. If they were going to have a movie night, then Seungjun would have one of his own as well. Motioning across ‘ _ My Husband♡ _ ’, the boy hesitated and bit his lip. Jihun was so busy lately he wondered if it was really a good idea to invite him out, especially so last minute. Yet, the selfish side of himself had him convinced it could do the kid some good to get out and have some fun too. 

Youjin’s comment from earlier replayed in his mind again. He had been spending a lot of his weekends with Jihun lately and it bugged him. He had fun hanging out with the guy but something about Youjin’s tone and the mere fact he even pointed it out annoyed Seungjun. He scrolled further down and sent Yuji an invitation as well. He wasn’t about to prove his haughty roommate right, about whatever he was hinting at. Seungjun didn’t even want to think too much of what that might be either. 

It wasn’t long before he got a reply that easily uplifted his mood;

> _ “Sounds fun! Let’s do it :)” _

They joked a bit about what movie to see, listing out all the crappy ones that were in theaters at the moment, before deciding on a decent one. Seungjun told her to invite Dahye as well while he tried to drag Jihun out with them. Really, it was nearly twenty minutes of Seungjun sitting there on his phone trying to think of what to say to convince the kid to go out tonight, the night before a big game. Still, Seungjun was eager to get out of the house and see a movie after quite a while. He was also eager to see Jihun’s reaction to the movie he picked out. Surely, someone who liked mystery books was bound to like a good mystery film.

It took a bit for a reply, but Seungjun lit up when his phone buzzed and he opened the message:

> _ “ok” _
> 
> _ “what time?” _

Though he was pleased his spontaneous plans were working out for the better, the short response rubbed him the wrong way. Yet, Seungjun brushed it off and gave the kid more details about when and where they’d be meeting up.

About fifteen minutes before the movie, or at least trailers, were going to start rolling, Seungjun was still alone in front of the massive building downtown that the theater was in. He was playing another game on his phone to pass the time, failing every attempt as he was too preoccupied checking the time and stressing out about his no-shows. Only when a bus pulled up to a stop a block down and Seungjun scanned every passenger for a familiar face did he let out a suspended breath. Jihun stepped off the bus, looking around a few times before spotting Seungjun and approaching him. Seungjun’s face was brimming with a relieved smile as he waved to his friend.

Jihun looked around and behind him with concern. “Are the others here yet?” He asked as he drew closer to the boy waiting outside.

Frowning, Seungjun whined playfully. “You can’t even say hi first or ask me how I’m doing?” He scoffed and crossed his arms in a huff. “Some friend you are.”

“Oh…” Jihun mouthed, taken aback by the sudden scolding. He stuttered, trying to save himself. “W-Well, how’s it going?”

Seungjun eyed him for a moment before smirking to himself. “Alright. Glad you didn’t stand me up.” The kid cleaned up a bit better today. At least, he looked good compared to the last few days Seungjun had been out with him. He wore a pale blue button-up with the sleeves rolled up, exposing the long sleeves of his shirt underneath that trailed down past his wrists. His fingers curled and twitched at his sides, making Seungjun wonder in the back of his mind whether Jihun was nervous right now.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Jihun looked around some more and mumbled, “So, any word from the girls?”

The older boy snapped back to attention and took a second to process the question. Dramatically checking his phone, he suddenly tugged at Jihun’s arm and pulled him inside the building in a rush. “They’ll be here soon. They already got tickets anyway, it’s us that’ll be stuck out here if we don’t get them soon!” Jihun trailed behind quietly, neither commenting on how Seungjun’s hand was curled around the kid’s arm until they were at the ticket booth.

Though it was a Friday night, it wasn’t nearly as busy as usual and the two managed to snatch some tickets in time. Neither had ever been more grateful for finals. As a renowned glutton, Seungjun got a deal for the largest sized popcorn available, coddling the bucket in his arms as the two boys found some seats for the four of them. Once settled in, Seungjun texted the girls where they were for whenever they got in and then silenced his phone. He scowled at Jihun next to him as the trailers started and the boy didn’t budge at all to put his own phone away.

“Don’t you have any manners?” Seungjun shout-whispered at Jihun while a menacing narration boomed throughout the theater.

Jihun blinked and glanced up at the screen, then the boy policing his etiquette from his side. “It’s just trailers? No one cares…”

“I do! And you’re distracting me!” Really, Seungjun was fond of the excitement that came from the endless teasers before a movie, but he started to feel embarrassed about it when the kid sighed and pushed his phone into his pocket. Jihun leaned back into his seat, slouched in the cushion while stealing some popcorn from Seungjun’s bowl. The older boy scowled once more, “Why didn’t you get your own?” He didn’t stop Jihun, though.

The kid shrugged and found a comfortable position in his seat to stare at the screen. “I didn’t think I was hungry.”

Seungjun rolled his eyes, moving the bucket closer between them both so he could reach better. “Yeah, just don’t eat it all.” A few more trailers in it was quiet between them both, Seungjun merely glancing Jihun’s way or focusing on him in his periphery for his reactions to some of them. The bracelet on his own arm caught his attention as he dug through the popcorn bowl, rummaging for some good pieces mindlessly. He’d also noticed with all of Jihun’s fiddling around and popcorn-grabbing as well, when his sleeves would roll back enough, that the guy wasn’t wearing his matching bracelet.

The girls came in just when the movie began, squeezing in between several people to make it toward where the guys were. Dahye waved to them both, pepper at the night out after her own stressful presentation earlier in Seungjun’s class. Despite some technical setbacks, she did alright and pulled through with what they all hoped would be a high grade. Yuji reassured them both they’d be fine and end up with a pretty good grade in the class. That was the benefit of being friends with a teacher’s assistant, at least.

Yuji sat down beside Seungjun and leaned over, whispering, “Did we miss anything yet?”

Seungjun could smell the tropical, fruity shampoo she must’ve used earlier and gleamed. “No you’re right on time.” His eyes snapped back over to Jihun as he heard the kid’s hand dig through the bucket for a handful of popcorn. It hit him how often he met up with Jihun often overworked and with a lingering smell of sweat, though now he didn’t smell like anything. The kid really did clean up this time, that was for sure, but there wasn’t even a scent of a musk or cologne or anything. Seungjun’s mind started to trail off on what brand would suit Jihun or when would be the best time to get him something like that without it seeming weird.

A giggle from his other side resounded and Seungjun glanced over to Yuji beside him, radiating even in a dark room like the theater. That had to be a talent in itself. The girls were sharing a popcorn as well, albeit not as massive as Seungjun’s, and sitting with their arms looped together. They both stared off at the movie and made a few comments to each other quietly, Yuji holding in some laughter and playfully hitting Dahye’s shoulder at some of them. 

They were already a third into the movie by now when Seungjun’s curiosity was peaked. He wondered how Jihun was enjoying the movie, whether he’d be like Yuji or Dahye and lean in to whisper something funny only for Seungjun to hear. He wondered if Jihun would lightly smack his own shoulder, leave his hand lingering there or even link arms with Seungjun. The older boy glanced down at Jihun’s arm lying still across the slim armrest that separated their seats. There didn’t seem to be any room for Seungjun’s arm anyway and the older boy hesitated. Looking up at Jihun’s expression to consider the possibility, Seungjun frowned. Jihun was sitting back in his seat, eyes shut tight and mouth slightly ajar while he sat there and slept through the movie. Frustrated and offended, Seungjun nudged him awake, the boy blinking slowly and rubbing his eyes while he sat straighter.

“What?” He mumbled at Seungjun while he tried to feign ignorance to the fact he was practically comatose during a movie.

Seungjun rolled his eyes and scoffed, whisper-scolding him again. “You were asleep! How do you even fall asleep at the movies?”

Jihun shrugged and cracked his neck, stretching his arms out as he tried to wake up and pay attention to the film. “Sorry…” Seungjun pursed his lips and hummed an annoyed noise. Throughout the rest of the movie Jihun kept nodding off, but he managed to watch the whole thing after Seungjun woke him up the first time. The kid rubbed his eyes, messed with his sleeves, ate the remains of their popcorn, and other little things to keep him awake throughout. It was only near the end of the film that Seungjun wondered just how tired the kid was to be fighting so pathetically with himself to stay awake.

The credits rolled and the lights came on, people dragging their sluggish feet out the doors without much noise. Yuji and Dahye seemed to be the loudest though, as they giggled some more about some inside jokes they shared during the movie. It took Jihun a second to even comprehend that the movie was over and everyone was leaving before he stood up at all. The four of them gathered their things and headed out for the lobby, chatting momentarily about the lackluster twist and the brief heart wrenching scenes near the end.

“Do you think there’ll be a sequel?” Dahye asked the group as they stepped out of the theater onto the city streets. The neon lights were brighter than ever, the noise resonating all over town while taxis and buses zipped through the roads. A classic Friday night in the city and a situation Seungjun usually avoided. He enjoyed having nights out and all but even he had a level of tolerance for dealing with crowds.

Yuji hummed and shook her head. “I doubt it. They wrapped everything up didn’t they?”

“Well they never really showed what happened to his wife.” Seungjun interjected and took Dahye’s side. “I think they’ll make one. If it does well at least.” They all nodded in agreement except Jihun who was looking off at the street, lost in his own world. Seungjun bit his lip when he noticed the boy looking distracted and exhausted. He started to regret suggesting this movie night even if the girls enjoyed it.

“Our ride’s here!” Yuji called back to Seungjun who only then realized the girls were already squeezing into a car with a few other girls. “See you tomorrow!”

Dahye chimed, “Don’t get too wild tonight!”

Seungjun laughed to himself and waved them off, shouting back, “You too!” He could only assume by the way the other mysterious girls in the car behaved that they were all going out to some club or bar or something like most students did on Friday nights. Seungjun however was stuck with someone who wasn’t like most students. He turned to face Jihun who was watching the girls leave on their own, lips shut tight and arms crossed over his chest. The older boy wondered for a brief moment if Jihun was cold until he felt the warm breeze himself. There was no way that was why he was being so standoffish and Seungjun pursed his lips. Something seemed so different about Jihun than the last few days he’d hung out with the kid. 

He eyed the kid up and down several times until Jihun eventually took notice, letting out a forced chuckled to cover up his slight discomfort. “What?” Jihun muttered, surprising Seungjun who was embarrassed to be caught observing him.

“Oh um…” Seungjun looked all around a moment, trying to think of what to say without this being even more awkward. He knew how sensitive Jihun could be and how he himself had a track record for saying the worst possible thing at the worst times. “I was just wondering… Why didn’t you wear the bracelet today?” His finger pointed out at the boy’s arm for a brief moment before retracting back to his side, worried it might get bitten off because of his blunt question.

Jihun glanced down at his hand, rubbing his wrist shortly after and looking away at the ground. “Oh… that…”

“You don’t like it?” Seungjun interjected and let out a breath, rubbing his forehead in regret. “I knew it was dumb.”

“No, it’s not that. I love it, really.” Jihun smiled, his ears tinting red. Seungjun knew that couldn't have been because of any cold weather either. “I-I just forgot to wear it.” Jihun stuttered and looked toward the cars on the road. The older boy grinned to himself, assuming he was flustered because he was embarrassed to let it slip how much he enjoyed the little trinket. “I’ll wear it again though. I could wear it during my game tomorrow… I think.” Jihun looked up and nodded to himself, flustered again by his bold proposal and by Seungjun’s stunned expression.

The older boy beamed. “Really? Why?” He was both honestly curious and excited to hear the reason why.

With a stiff shrug, Jihun scratched his chest, avoiding Seungjun’s gaze all the while. “You did say it’s so that I have a bit of you with me. Something like that, I guess?” He sounded unsure of it himself, but it seemed more like he was just unsure of whether he should even be saying something like that to Seungjun or not. That didn’t stop Seungjun from hearing it though. It didn’t stop Seungjun’s chest from pooling with warmth either.

The elder gleamed, “If you  _ really _ need me there to win, then it’s the most I could do. For our team, I mean.” Seungjun barely managed to get a playful sentence like that out, his wide ceaseless grin making it difficult for him to keep his composure.

Jihun chuckled to himself, “Yeah. For the team.” He looked down at his feet with a lingering, small smile and kicked at the pavement. It was then Seungjun realized he hadn’t even bothered to find them a way home and instantly pulled out his phone. Calling a taxi service, the two waited against the wall of the cafe across the street, neither uttering another word until the cab arrived.

Seungjun held the door open, sliding into the back after Jihun and giving the driver the address to Jihun’s place first. “I can tell you’re about to fall asleep any second now.” Seungjun joked before Jihun could put up a fight out of humility. “We need to get you back first so you can rest and get us to the finals.”

The younger boy didn’t put up a fight and flashed the other a look for gratitude. The cab ride across town was quiet, like the two were in a vacuum, a world of their own. It was like they were back in the theater again when after just a minute or so on the road, Jihun was already sound asleep. Though this time, Seungjun didn’t bother waking him. Instead, the older boy scooted further toward the center of the car, offering a better angle at his shoulder for the kid to rest his head on in the meantime. For some reason, Seungjun just wanted to spend the rest of their night together making sure he was comfortable. It was his own fault after all that Jihun was now more exhausted than he needed to be. He called him out so last minute and now they were getting back so late, the least he could do was let the kid rest well.

“I can’t believe you’re such a heavy sleeper…” Seungjun mumbled to himself, holding in a laugh at how limp Jihun’s whole body was. Even when they drove over a pothole or the driver abruptly hit the brakes and cursed someone out for cutting him off, Jihun remained undisturbed. As Seungjun got a better look at the kid’s face, he noticed how peaceful he looked. Seungjun glanced down at Jihun’s arm between both of them. He remembered how Yuji and Dahye had linked arms the whole time at the movies, how happy and comfortable they looked being so close and Seungjun bit his lip. Quietly and once the car stopped at a red light, Seungjun slipped his arm between Jihun’s. His palm motioned over Jihun’s stiff fingertips and found a nice warm spot to rest in Jihun’s open palm. There were another four minutes or so for Seungjun to sit that way, Jihun sleeping on his shoulder and their fingers loosely fitting between each other, and it all went by in a flash.

Seungjun tapped on Jihun’s shoulder, waking the kid once they were at the top of the hill in front of his shabby apartment. He’d already put space between them both and waved as Jihun rubbed at his eyes and breathed in sharply as he climbed out of the car. “I had fun tonight. Thanks Hyung.” Jihun’s voice was groggy as he grinned back at the other still in the car. With a wave, he shut the door and dragged himself into his place while Seungjun headed back to his. For that brief moment, Seungjun was relieved Jihun was so tired. Otherwise, the kid might’ve seen how flushed the older boy’s cheeks had become.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here's me for the nth time to say, this isn't where i wanted it to end but it's too long so here oops
> 
> also since youjin's girlfriend finally came in you should know it's her:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItewCTmaL4Q  
> because he said he liked rly short girls like 500 years ago so i thought they'd be cute???


	8. Concealer

A whistle blew and echoed around the vast stadium. Groans erupted all around and Seungjun fell back into his cold, much too tiny seat with an exasperated sigh. “What the hell is wrong with the ref today? He didn’t even touch that guy!” Seungjun threw his hands out toward the court and complained to the girls next to him who were equally as frustrated.

Youjin eyed the guy up and down and blinked. “Didn’t think you’d be so excited over a game.” He grabbed a handful of popcorn and added before shoveling it into his mouth, “You’re a lot more energetic than the last game.”

Seungjun was too immersed in the craze of such a close game to react to his friend’s comments. Instead, he simply nodded and shrugged. “Well they’ve never played anyone this good before!” He shouted over the crowd as some more cheers erupted from the away team scoring both free throws. Seungjun frowned and leaned back in his seat in an annoyed huff.

Soon the game stopped for halftime and people pooled into the halls of the arena, all lining up for the bathrooms and snack bars. Seungjun fiddled with his phone while the cheerleaders performed a routine below, the trendiest pop music playing over the speakers around the stadium to distract him until the third quarter started. It was true that Seungjun was excited. Why wouldn’t he be? Their team was finally faced with a worthy opponent and the point difference too close to call the game either way. Seungjun thumbed over his messages and glanced at the name ‘ _ My Husband _ _ ♡’  _ before shutting off his phone again and impatiently watching the performance below. He was also admittedly excited to see Jihun play soon, especially after the little promise they made among themselves the night before.

“So which one is Jihun?” Hyein’s perky voice interrupted Seungjun’s thoughts and snapped him back to reality.

The boy blinked and looked around briefly, realizing Dahye and Yuji had already left, likely to the bathroom, and Youjin off someplace he wasn’t quite sure. Now it was just him and Youjin’s girlfriend alone and Seungjun internally groaned. The whole night he’d been avoiding even looking at her, let alone having much of a conversation one-on-one. He tried not to be so awkward about it all, but every time he heard her helium-filled voice he found it very difficult.

“Oh he’s…” Seungjun looked around as if the team was still on the court and not actually in the locker room at the moment. “He’s number sixteen. Look for that one.” His fingers found themselves in his lap, fiddling around with the buttons and apps on his phone that he’d already messed with hundreds of times. If only he had a snack to distract him at the moment.

Hyein nodded and went back to messaging someone on her own phone. The seat between them both was like a sturdy wall, yet made of glass. It was obvious they knew the other was there, Seungjun even catching glimpses of the girl looking around in wait for her boyfriend to return, but neither really bothered to speak up or strike a conversation. Instead, Seungjun sat in silence, complacent with the situation as it was.

Soon the girls returned, followed by Youjin shortly after, and the game resumed. Everyone was more excited than they had been the whole evening, but Seungjun especially found himself light up once he spotted Jihun trailing out onto the court. Reaching into his bag, he pulled out a small sign he’d made with Yuji and Dahye earlier that day. It wasn’t the best, hardly comparable to ones made by the two veterans next to him, though still bright enough for Jihun to spot. At least, he hoped so.

The whistle blew and the toss was made, the home team managing to get the ball on their side and take the lead. Roars resounded throughout the stadium like usual, the crowd sensitive to any hint of excitement that night. Albeit, it wasn’t as loud now that Inseong’s fanclub had no one to really cheer as exuberantly for with Jihun playing. Though, the trio tried to make up for the quiet cheerleaders in their spot rows above, signs up and mouths cupped to yell support the kid’s way.

Their team had made a few more baskets thanks to Heejun. It was then Seungjun really noticed the others on Jihun’s team better. Heejun was certainly much shorter than the other players, but he moved so swiftly that hardly anyone could keep up. He was a good player who seemed to be the loudest too. Heejun shouted to the other players for passes and confused the other team with his calls and expressive movements. Not to mention when someone on their team missed a basket, he was always the one to pat their backs and cheer them up. In all honesty from Seungjun’s perspective, Heejun would’ve made a much better captain than Inseong. Though, Seungjun wasn’t that knowledgeable about basketball, or any sport for that matter, so he was probably just being spiteful against the current captain again.

Things had started out well for their team, a few points made within the first few minutes, and then it took a turn for the worst. There were several times a member on their team was cornered and didn’t pass the ball before it was stolen by the other team, despite Jihun being pretty open. Jihun himself hardly seemed to handle the ball the whole time, though when he did he made a few constant mistakes. He fumbled over his own feet trying to avoid the other players and missed practically every basket he shot for. Soon enough the other team surpassed them and took the lead, leaving the girls and Seungjun sitting on the edge of their seats in anxiousness. It wasn’t long before their team took a timeout and huddled together, benching Jihun for Inseong to help them out again. Everyone watching from the audience seemed to be relieved, the crowd of girls screaming with fervor once more, though Seungjun and the girls were disappointed. It was clear Jihun wasn’t going to be put in again for the rest of the game, and so he sat there with a towel hung over his head on one end away from the rest of the team. Jihun wasn’t even watching the game anymore, just letting his head hang low and staring at the ground. The kid was a pitiful sight and Seungjun felt his heart writhe the longer he watched him like that. 

Time flew by and the buzzer went off with a blaring resonance. The crowd vehemently cheered at the narrow victory thanks to Inseong and in minutes everyone began trailing out of the stadium, the teams included. Seungjun stared off at each member as they disappeared behind some doors toward the locker rooms before he left with his friends. He wished he could’ve seen how Jihun was doing, but it was nearly impossible with all the commotion going on. Yet, he was certain of something else from the glimpses he caught of the kid by now: Jihun wasn’t even wearing the bracelet like he said he would. However he was doing, or why he didn’t keep his promise, Seungjun would find out soon enough as they waited by the locker rooms again to go celebrate with the kid on entering the finals.

Really, the girls made Seungjun wait alone for Jihun again. They wanted to save a spot at a nearby bar and grill before it got too crowded. Seungjun realized that might’ve been true, but he could also tell they were a bit worried about Jihun as well after how badly he’d done during the game. They probably figured it’d be best for the two of them to be alone, for Seungjun to cheer Jihun up by himself. While the older boy was wary about such a pressing responsibility and usually would’ve been frustrated about it, he was relieved he’d be alone with Jihun this time. It would give them the chance to talk more openly, he’d hoped.

Unlike the usual delay, Jihun was one of the first few to shuffle out of the locker room. Seungjun blinked as he glanced up from his phone and caught sight of the boy, moving next to him and walking by his side down the hall as Jihun hardly stopped to even talk to him. “Hey, that was quick…” Seungjun’s tone was full of disbelief, though Jihun simply glanced at him and slowed their pace.

“Yeah I didn’t shower this time.” Jihun mumbled and looked back at the locked room doors briefly when they heard someone else coming out. He looked relieved to see whoever it was and kept walking forward.

Seungjun meanwhile was somewhat puzzled. Jihun was acting weird, he knew he was, he just wasn’t sure why. Actually, he was pretty certain his poor performance during the game was why. Though, there must’ve been a reason behind that as well and Seungjun wasn’t sure how to bring that up either. Instead, he opted to hopefully lighten the mood a bit while getting his point across. “What’s up with the sad face? You guys are finalists now you know.” He faked a short chuckle that was quickly stifled when Seungjun cleared his throat out of awkwardness. Jihun’s brief glances at him, as if he was suddenly reminded Seungjun was even there next to him, were so stifling.

Jihun adjusted the bag strap over his shoulder as they turned a corner. “Yeah, thanks to Inseong.” His words were still coming out as strained mutters under his breath and the tone of it all crawled across Seungjun’s skin the wrong way. It was clear something was up and Seungjun was the worst at moral or emotional support. Not to mention Jihun was someone he had a track record of upsetting the easiest.

Still, Seungjun tried to get him to open up as best he could. “Ah well… did he scold you or something back there?” Maybe that wasn’t the best approach and Seungjun regretted it already, though Jihun hardly seemed bothered. Instead, the kid actually lit up a bit more and blinked. 

He nodded and shrugged, answering without much emotion this time, “Yeah a bit. I mean I almost ruined the whole game for us--”

“What? That’s not true.” Seungjun cut him off from any more self-criticism. The last thing he wanted to hear was the kid convincing himself he was at fault for something that didn’t even matter anymore. “You sucked today, yeah, but you wouldn’t have ruined the whole game.”

Jihun scoffed behind a slight smirk to himself. “Ha… Thanks.”

That was when Seungjun could tell it was already starting; digging his own grave with his careless words again. With his lip pursed, the older boy smoothed his hands into his pockets and looked around the streets clearing out the further they got away from the stadium. It was dark out now, puddles around every block after some rain had come down during the game. At least now it wasn’t raining. Seungjun wasn’t sure he could handle dealing with Jihun on top of some crappy weather again.

The two boys were stopped at a crosswalk waiting for a signal, despite no one even driving through either street. Seungjun couldn’t think of what to say at all and Jihun hadn’t bothered to change the subject either. It was a stifling walk, that was for sure. Or, maybe it was only stifling because Seungjun couldn’t get his mind off of one thing the more he glanced at Jihun beside him.

Then, just as Seungjun had finally taken a breath and worked up the nerve to ask about it, Jihun spoke up as the light switched, “Where are we going anyway?”

Seungjun’s breath hitched, eyelids fluttering as he tried to recall the name of the bar Yuji had mentioned. He fingered the phone in his pocket, though unwilling to pull it out and check as they made their way across the street. Seungjun stopped in place and Jihun followed, evidently confused and seemingly distracted as he had been all night. “We were gonna meet the girls at a bar to celebrate… But I was thinking, you wanna go somewhere else and get some food?” The older boy laughed a bit, forcibly from how sudden the question was even to his own surprise. “Well, better than bar food at least… I know this one place nearby that’s open late and--”

“You mean just us?” Jihun spoke more clearly, but maybe that was also because they were finally in a spot of town no one hung out around this late, especially when it was rainy. The younger boy’s eyes lit up until he paused and looked away at the blinking crossing signal counting down across the street. “I don’t know, I’m tired. I think I should just go home. We have practice tomorrow...”

The signal reached zero and the street lights beside them flashed green, yet no cars sped past. Seungjun stared down at Jihun, trying to get a read on what was going through his mind. Sure, he was probably tired, but he’d been acting so aloof recently. Maybe he was just stressed, Seungjun thought, and nodded in understanding. “Sure, I can walk you home.”

Jihun snorted subtly, “It’s kind of a long walk from here, you know.” He crossed his arms and looked around before walking off back the way they came. “I remember seeing a bus stop on the way here. I’ll just take the bus.” He called back without a second glance, “You can go have fun with the others!” Though, he quickly quieted down when Seungjun was already rushed beside him, catching up to the boy with a nonchalant expression.

“Don’t really feel like drinking tonight.” Seungjun shrugged and gleamed. “Besides, someone’s gotta make sure you get home alright. You’re not really that great at taking care of yourself.”

With a slight smirk, Jihun looked to his feet as they walked toward the nearest stop. Seungjun thought it was nice to see him smile again as momentary as it was, though the kid still seemed a bit tense. After finding the bench that marked the bus stop, the two were relieved that the bench was under an awning that kept it dry. They both sat there a few minutes with their lips shut tight, knees bumping as they kept fairly close. Glancing down at Jihun’s leg as it grazed his own, Seungjun caught the boy’s hands rubbing at his knees again. Usually he’d take it as a sign that Jihun was nervous around Seungjun, but this time it was clear in his stiff body that it was something else.

“Are you cold?” Seungjun asked in a softened voice, eyeing the kid’s gym shorts and t-shirt. It was a little chilly compared to the day before, likely because of the rain, and Seungjun pitied the kid, though also scolded him in his head for being so careless. The older boy said it himself, Jihun wasn’t that great at taking care of himself.

Jihun glanced over and curled his fingers into his palms. “Ah, I’m fine. Just the breeze is a bit…” He trailed off and hunched in his seat further, staring down at his own lap in thoughts Seungjun still couldn’t decipher. Soon the kid’s smile faded into his blank, distant expression once more and the elder frowned. Seungjun hesitated for a moment as he gazed at Jihun’s stiff hands again, recalling how peaceful Jihun had been the night before, next to him, while they…

On impulse, Seungjun reached out. He took Jihun’s hand in his own and pushed his fingers between the other’s. The kid’s knuckles felt frozen, his fingertips chilling the backside of Seungjun’s hand, yet Seungjun felt entirely warm. His lips helplessly curved into a little grin that he tried to hide from the other, and before Jihun could say anything, he blurted, “Better?” He hoped in the back of his mind that Jihun felt as warm as he did now.

Jihun sat upright in seconds, his hand limp in Seungjun’s for a moment until he came to grips with what was happening. They sat there like that for a moment and just as Seungjun got more comfortable, Jihun slipped out of his grasp, pulling his hand back into his own lap. The boy rubbed his hands together and stood up, hoisting his bag over his shoulder and gripping onto the strap. He faced away from Seungjun, toward the road, and said nothing despite his clear want to.

Instead, Seungjun spoke up, “What? Did I do something wrong?” His hands gripped onto the edge of the bench, arms tensing up from the sudden rejection.

“No I just…” Jihun inhaled, his back rising from the deep breath. “I think the bus will be here soon.”

“Oh…” Seungjun’s shoulders sagged and he leaned back in his seat. The cold of the metal backside was painful, but short-lived. Glancing down the street, the older boy cleared his throat. “I don’t see the bus yet. You can sit for a bit.” He patted the spot next to him briefly, his hand lingering where Jihun had let it go just now.

Fingering at the strap of his bag, Jihun faced Seungjun with hesitation in his eyes. Politely, he shook his head and turned back around toward the street ahead of them. “It’s fine. You don’t need to do all this for me.”

Seungjun wanted to protest and clarify that he was only doing what he himself wanted to, but soon headlights appeared down the street and stole their attention. Instead, Seungjun watched Jihun’s backside, biting his tongue. Jihun looked so small standing there, his hands fidgety from anxiousness. Sure, it might’ve been because he was cold, but there was just something off about his whole demeanor. There was something calling to Seungjun, asking him to bring it up and talk to Jihun no matter how much he tried hiding it away, but the older boy was too afraid to do anything. He was left behind by the kid all through the night and it finally grew tiring on Seungjun’s heart. The bus soon approached and without another word other than a simple goodbye, Jihun was already stepping on and finding a spot in the back. Walking the opposite direction back to his place alone in silence, thinking on everything that he’d been so afraid of, Seungjun realized just how cold it was that night.

The next day, Seungjun felt sick. He rolled around between his sheets, legs contorted into strange positions as to find the most comfortable spot between not-too-hot and not-too-cold. The room had been freezing because of the air conditioner on blast at his roommate’s will. Youjin told him time and time again how much he hated the heat, becoming more repetitive the closer Spring came to Summer. That meant if you weren’t a walking chunk of meat like Youjin, but a lanky stick like Seungjun was, you could hardly last in this freezer of an apartment. Seungjun bemoaned those cold nights in his bed and wondered just how Youjin’s poor tiny, frail girlfriend had lasted this long without reaching hypothermia.

Then Seungjun frowned. He knew exactly how she kept warm this weekend and tugged the covers further over his shoulders. He checked his phone hidden under his pillow and let his head fall back exasperatedly onto the bed. It was only eight in the morning and yet he’d woken up because he could smell Youjin cooking something in the kitchen. Damn his pit of a stomach. There was no way he was going to go out there and get something to eat with Hyein around. Youjin was probably just cooking for the two of them anyway, and so Seungjun remained wrapped up in his cocoon of a bed and passed the time scrolling through Facebook and such, alone and hot under his comforter. Sleep had escaped him by now and he mumbled a few complaints under his breath like some lonely, spiteful old man. Really, he was only frustrated because he didn’t get to sleep in on a day that doubled as a Sunday and a national holiday. On a day that meant he should get to sleep an inane amount of hours, he was awake and hungry yet too stubborn to get up and solve either problem. Though the longer he stayed awake, reading updates from his friends and peers about how much fun they had the night before or their amazing plans for the day, the more that lingering emptiness from last night seeped through his chest.

Seungjun huffed and clicked his phone off, rubbing his face into his pillow with a low, guttural groan before sitting up. As he stared down at his hands in his lap, he traced a few circles in one palm. His fingertips were cold from being out in the air, but he didn’t feel any warmer at the motion like he had with Jihun. He just felt cold and tired. 

As someone he’d consider relatively sociable and popular, Seungjun wasn’t used to the looming loneliness he’d felt now. Or maybe, he just never really acknowledged this feeling to be loneliness until now. If this was what real loneliness was, then it sucked. The boy shot up from his bed and gathered some clothes from his pile of clean laundry he’d been too busy and lazy to fold properly. After slipping into the shower without his company noticing, he scrubbed himself clean with some newfound ambition. Most of his friends were probably at the beach already or stuck in deadlock traffic on the way there. His roommate was stuck with his girlfriend all day which made staying at home awkward. He didn’t bother to check up on what Yuji or Dahye were doing today, but they were probably busy as well. With these thoughts, Seungjun had found the perfect reasons for why his only option for a day like today was to hang out with Jihun. He’d just hoped Jihun would listen to him long enough to hear them.

As Seungjun primped himself to perfection, combing his hair into a flattering shape and smoothing out the wrinkles in his simple button-up, he felt more assured. Jihun probably just needed some time to himself, to work out something on his own. It wasn’t like Seungjun needed to pry and be involved with everything he was doing. It was fine that he’d let him leave quietly the night before. It was fine that he didn’t stop him and talk things out with him. They were just friends after all, if Jihun was really bothered by something he’d just bring it up with Seungjun if he wanted. So Seungjun felt confident that it wasn’t a big deal. Jihun would be back to his endearing, embarrassing, cute self today.

Shuffling into the living room toward the front door, Seungjun had tried to make it past Youjin’s radar quietly, to no avail. His roommate snapped his eyes over from the television to his friend, a hint of curiosity raised with his brow. “Morning… Where are you going?” He sounded more surprised about Seungjun being up before noon than anything, yet the boy tried his best to ignore him.

Rather, Seungjun tried to ignore his friend’s girlfriend eating from the spot next to him as he glanced back to answer. “Out.” Simple and vague. Not like Youjin needed to know everything he was up to anyway. The guy’s smothering was only tolerable when he was doing something even he knew to be a little stupid. Going to see Jihun wasn’t a stupid idea.

“Oh. Wait a sec.” Youjin got up and Seungjun watched him move into the kitchen, the sound of plastic crinkling confusing the boy as he hastily tied his shoes at the entrance. When his roommate returned with a chunk of bread wrapped in a tiny plastic bag, Seungjun stood up with a blank expression. Youjin handed the bag over and added, “I made it this morning. It’s sweet. Give it to Jihun for me.”

Despite taking the food, Seungjun frowned and scoffed. “I never said I’m going to see him.” Though, Youjin was already walking back to whatever he was doing, leaving Seungjun with a shrug and a small wave of his hand that said he knew but it wasn’t a big deal. Still, the fact Youjin read him so easily annoyed the boy and he walked out with a pout. Suddenly he missed the days Youjin worried about him meeting Jihun at all.

Seungjun took his time getting to the gym. Jihun had mentioned how they had to practice even today, so he figured he must’ve been there by now. It was almost lunch so it would likely be the perfect time to meet up. Seungjun remembered the first time he went to Jihun’s practice and surprised him. The picture of his face nearly choking on his water at the sight of Seungjun sent a smirk across his face. He’d somewhat hoped he’d get a similar reaction out of him today too, especially since he didn’t even tell Jihun he was coming. In that case, it’d probably be an even bigger reaction and he was bound to make Jihun happy. At least, those were all the positive ideas Seungjun focused on during his walk. He didn’t want to think about Jihun not wanting him there. He didn’t want to be left with an empty, cold hand again.

Reaching into his pocket, Seungjun pulled out his phone to check the time once more when the gym came into sight. Though no matter how many times he clicked it, his phone remained pitch black. With a groan, he dropped his hand at his side and slid the dead weight into his pocket again. He usually kept his phone charging overnight, but he figured Youjin must’ve taken his charger again at some point without him noticing. He just hoped as he stepped inside that his phone dying would be the worst to come.

And of course, it wasn’t. Seungjun stopped before the doors to the stands that led down to the court. A sign that read “CLOSED PRACTICE” was taped to the door. Seungjun figured that must have meant the practice wasn’t for public viewing, and the public was exactly what Seungjun was. It made sense considering how close they were to the finals and all, but it still frustrated the boy. Still, he didn’t come all this way for nothing. Hesitantly and with a strong grip on the bag of bread in his other hand, he reached out for the door handle. That is, until it flung open and startled him, nearly smacking him right in the face had he not been nimble enough to get out of the way. Two players walked out, one wearing a blue mesh jersey over his clothes while the other sported yellow. They looked exhausted as they made their way toward a water fountain right around the corner that Seungjun had passed. Seungjun grabbed onto the door, about to slip inside before he overheard the two complaining among themselves.

“This is too much. We just had a game last night.” One started while the other began filling his water bottle. “Why should we have to be here this early?”

The other scoffed. “At least you’re on Inseong’s team. It’s worse on mine. We only had to come in today because of Jihun’s shitshow last night.”

The water paused and after some shuffling, it began pouring into the other player’s empty bottle again. The first guy added, “Yeah that sucks man.” Then, he sneered with a cheekiness in his voice, “He hasn’t made any moves on you, has he?”

The second twisted the cap over his bottle closed after taking a swig and made a disgusted sound. “Ugh gross. Thankfully not.”

“Glad I’m not on your team today. Playing with him last night was bad enough.” The two started making their way back toward the gym, sneakers squeaking across the floor as they dragged themselves along the way. Seungjun slipped inside before they could see him, waiting against the wall beside the doors with a stiffened, numb heart. 

“I swear I caught him checking me out like twice after the game.” 

“Please. Girls don’t even like looking at you.” The two joked and laughed as they returned. The sounds of bouncing balls, shouting calls, and squeaky sneakers eventually drowned them out, but it was all pretty clear to Seungjun at this point. Somehow unknown to Seungjun, Jihun had been outed to his team. He wasn’t even sure how long they’d known or whether they knew about his relationship to Seungjun either, but the mere realization that his teammates knew and were so cold to the kid over it sent a numbing chill down Seungjun’s spine.

He stood there like a statue, watching mindlessly at the practice game carrying on below. He spotted Jihun playing in the game and felt his gut twist. Was this the reason why he was acting the way he was these last few days? Jihun had been so cold and distant from Seungjun, like he couldn’t enjoy anything together with him. Seungjun had a creeping thought that it was because they both knew it was only temporary and the end was approaching fast, though now that didn’t even cross Seungjun’s mind. It was because of some shitty immature guys that he changed so suddenly, reverted back into the shell Seungjun, and even Dahye and Yuji, had been trying to get him out of for a while. The more he thought about it as they played, the angrier he became. At the team, of course, and also at himself. Jihun was struggling with a real problem like this and Seungjun didn’t even do anything about it. He ignored all the obvious signs something was wrong because he knew he didn’t want to admit he cared that much. He was scared like some stupid kid when Jihun was the one who was probably terrified this whole time.

“Hey, you shouldn’t be here.” A voice interrupted his melancholic thoughts and Seungjun snapped his eyes to the source beside him. Heejun stood there, hair matted with sweat and exhaustion written all over his face. Though, something else was in those big eyes of his as well that Seungjun couldn’t name.

Seungjun mumbled, “Oh, I just came for Jihun.” He held up the crinkled bag of bread, nearly forgotten in his endless thoughts. “Wanted to give him this.”

Heejun hardly gave him any time to say anything else and shook his head. “It’s a closed practice, so no one’s allowed in. And you…” He paused and bit his lip, glancing back to the game briefly before a sigh left him. Seungjun could tell the kid was holding back for some reason. “You just really shouldn’t be here. You can give it to him after practice. It’s better that way.”

Seungjun motioned to protest, find out what Heejun really wanted to tell him based off his troubled expression, then a loud commotion and thump from the court stole their attention. Some guys were crowded around someone on the ground.

“Shit.” Heejun muttered and sprinted off, diving into the crowd who seemed to just be fighting among themselves about who was at fault for whatever happened. Some members of the team on the bench looked on at what was happening, then just sat back in their spots and drank some water. The rest of the players on the other side of the court huddled around Inseong, moving like snails toward the crowd while Heejun seemed to be handling everything himself. “Move! You’re crowding him.” Seungjun could heard Heejun even from where he was and instinctively began down toward the court. It wasn’t until some of the guys backed up and left the crowd at Heejun’s command that Seungjun rushed down. It was Jihun on the ground, weakly lifting himself up with Heejun’s help and palming a spot on his head in pain.

“You okay? Can you stand?” Heejun stood himself and bent over, trying to help lift Jihun onto his feet. Though, Jihun just shook his head and sat there a bit, hunched over his legs sprawled across the floor.

“Did you throw elbows again?” Inseong finally made his way over and glared at another player. Seungjun noticed it was one of the two he’d seen earlier at the water fountain, but couldn’t recall which one he was. It wasn’t like either of them didn’t have a thing against Jihun anyway.

The guy rapidly shook his head and whined, “Come on, it was an accident Inseong. You don’t think I did it on purpose, right?” He looked around at the other players who all seemed to believe him, most already walking off now that the issue seemed to be dealt with. Really, it just seemed like none of them really cared knowing it was Jihun who was hit. 

This observation already angered Seungjun enough, though Inseong’s disconcern for it all really got to him. “Well watch yourself next time. Jihun, come on, get up. Just sit on the bench again if you can’t play.” The captain glanced at the boy below briefly, and even when Heejun seemed ready to say something, he moved along. “And this isn’t a break time for you guys! Get back into formation, we’ll start from--”

Inseong was cut short when Seungjun’s fist landed on his face, hard and fast. Inseong stumbled back and held his face in his hands. “What the fuck?!” He yelled out, muffled by his fingers as they shakily hovered over his cheek and nose in pain.

“I should be asking that!” Seungjun shouted back and the whole court was silent. They merely watched on at the sudden exchange, too confused and intimidated to intervene. Still, Seungjun ranted, “You’re the captain and you let your own player get treated like shit. What’s worse, you even treat him like garbage too!” Seungjun was so frustrated with everything at this point he was letting it all spill out without any filters. He added, “You’re so full of yourself, don’t you ever think about anyone but yourself?”

Then, before Seungjun could say anything worse, Inseong had lunged back at him. He returned the taller’s punch with his own, the sudden impact sending them both to the floor. They rolled around some, the rest of the team running over and shouting inaudible profanities and even some cheers. After a few more punches and struggling between them, Heejun finally managed to drag Inseong off of Seungjun and in an instant all the noise around them died off.

“And what the hell is going on here?!” A woman called out from the bottom of the stands, a few bags in her hands as she looked on with a fire in her eyes that scared Seungjun as well. He had no clue who she was, but just from looking around at the others standing with their tails between their legs, he could take a wild guess.

Inseong held his nose, standing straight out of politeness yet trying to keep the blood from dripping onto the floor like it already had. “Mrs. Kang...”

“That’s Coach to you. Or did you really forget who’s in charge while I was gone?” She sat the bags down on a nearby bench and walked onto the court, hands on her hips as she gazed at each member with a disappointed look. All the boys looked down at their feet, some glancing over at Inseong who was the most pathetic looking of all at that moment. “I thought you guys could handle it on your own until now. I guess I was wrong.” She chuckled to herself and looked up, holding back her real rage. “I even came back two weeks before I should because you made it to the finals. I just had a baby and rushed back to cheer you guys on for doing so well. I even got you some lunch as a surprise and what do I see?” She stared at Inseong with a deathly gaze that made them all sheepish. “My own captain fighting with…” She glanced at Seungjun and raised her eyebrow then shook her head in more dissatisfaction. “With another student! One of your own is hurt and you’re all fighting?” The woman sighed and held her head, exasperated at the sudden bitter realization before her eyes.

Inseong lifted his eyes from the ground for a moment and mumbled, “Coach, I-I…”

“I don’t want to hear it right now. From any of you.” She raised her voice and everyone shuddered in their spots. “You’re all running drills the rest of the day! I want fifty laps around the court!” She shouted and pushed some of her shorter hair behind her head, rubbing her temple with her fingers gently. When no one moved and just looked at each other like scolded kids, she shouted again, “Now! Go!”

Soon enough, everyone started around the court, jogging quietly with dreadful looks on their faces. Heejun helped Jihun up as the boy finally tried standing, Seungjun rushing over to keep him steady on his feet. The woman glanced over, but sat down in exhaustion. She held her gut and sighed, calling out toward the three of them. “Jihun, you go home for the day. Rest up for now, okay?” Seungjun was surprised her voice could be that soft and concerned and was grateful at least someone was concerned for him around here. He glanced over at Heejun, guiding Jihun away toward the stands and helping him up the first step. The younger boy continuously asked him questions in a softer voice, rubbing his back and holding onto his arm until he was sure Jihun was fine enough on his own and returned to run with the others. Seungjun bit his lip and followed after his friend, walking him up the steps toward the exit without a word between them. 

As he opened the door for them to leave he heard the woman shout out once more, “Inseong! Go clean up first. We need to talk.” Seungjun couldn’t help but smirk to himself. He could only hope the cocky guy would finally be put in his place.

“Why’d you come?” Jihun finally said something once they’d made it outside. It was nice hearing his voice finally, as small as it sounded, since the silence was stifling.

Seungjun shrugged and looked around the streets, this part of campus practically empty today. “Just wanted to see you, I guess…” His mind was still a mess from the chaos before, and his jaw ached as he spoke from his altercation with Inseong. Rubbing at his cheek, he sucked in a breath and felt where a bruise would inevitably form the next day.

“You okay? You shouldn’t have done all that.” The younger boy glanced up at him, slowing his pace somewhat.

With a soft chuckle, he slid his hands into his pockets and shrugged. “I’ll be fine. But I think I needed to.” Seungjun gritted his teeth and made fists in his pockets. “They hurt you and didn’t even lift a finger to help.”

Jihun hummed and rephrased his words, “I guess I mean… You shouldn’t have had to do anything. It wasn’t a big deal.” After walking aimlessly for a moment, he stopped and dug around in his pockets briefly, shoulders sagging in disappointment. “Would you mind calling me a cab? I think I left my phone in the locker room.”

Seungjun stopped in front of him and smiled to himself at the unfortunate circumstance. “Actually…” He started and rubbed his neck. “My phone’s dead right now. And I doubt we’ll see a taxi around here. They’re all busy with the holiday and all…” Before Jihun could sulk some more in his spot, Seungjun started off in another direction. “You can stay at my place for a bit, that okay?”

After a moment to process the suggestion, Jihun nodded and then quickly held his head in pain. His face scrunched up and he winced once, but quickly returned to normal and followed after the other. Seungjun watched on and walked slow so the kid could catch up. When it got too quiet between them both, he spoke up, “And I think I had to do it. I couldn’t help it, I mean.” His voice lowered and he let out a breath. “I was just so mad about it all. You don’t deserve that shit.”

Jihun looked up at Seungjun and slowed to a stop. When Seungjun followed and looked back in surprise, he mumbled, “I’m sorry. You’re mad they found out about us aren’t you?”

Seungjun blinked and let his mouth hang open speechless and in pain. “You really think I’d be mad about that?” He tried smiling but really just felt guilty for how small Jihun looked all of a sudden.

“Well… it was your condition right? No one was supposed to know--”

Seungjun reached out and gripped onto Jihun’s hand, squeezing it in his own. “I’d never be mad about that. I’d never be mad at you over this okay?” He smiled sweetly. “I was just mad they found out about you. I’m mad you’re hurt. I’m mad I…” Seungjun paused and slipped his hand away once he looked down, turning after a second to keep walking. “I’m mad I wasn’t really there for you. I’m angry that I was being so selfish this whole time.” He bit his lip and stopped again at the corner of the barren sidewalk. “Honestly, I…” He turned to face Jihun again but lit up when he noticed the boy leaning against the brick wall shortly behind him. “Hey, you okay?”

Jihun lifted his head and breathed out a forced laugh. “Yeah, I’m just… kinda dizzy.” While Seungjun hovered around him in concern, he stood straight again and looked around for something. “Could we sit for a bit? I’m a little tired.”

Seungjun pursed his lip and shook his head. Something was troubling about how Jihun was acting and he felt the need to get him home even more now. “I think we should go home first.” After a moment to think, the older boy soon grabbed ahold of Jihun’s hand and swung it over his shoulder from behind. Bending low, he pulled the kid onto his back and groaned a bit as he stood straighter. Jihun quickly latched on, legs dangling at Seungjun’s sides while the guy held a tight grip on his arms. “It’s not much further. I think even someone as weak as me can handle this for a few minutes.” Seungjun joked, though his laughter that followed struggled to leave his strained body. He really wasn’t cut out for stuff like this, especially with someone of Jihun’s size, but he felt it was the only option available.

Soon moving with Seungjun’s help, Jihun sat limp on the other’s backside and buried his face into his shoulder. Though only slight, Seungjun could feel a smile curve onto the boy’s lips, smiling himself when he heard the kid whisper into his back, “Why do you have to be so cheesy?”

Miraculously, Seungjun had managed to reach the apartment without dropping Jihun once. He was quite proud of himself, setting the boy down gently while he unlocked the door and cautiously stepped inside. Luckily Hyein and Youjin seemed to be gone somewhere and a wave of relief washed over Seungjun. When he looked back to signal Jihun to follow him, he frowned at how tired the kid looked. He was simply leaning against the doorframe and looked ready to drop any second. Pulling the kid inside, he helped him over to the couch and sighed, exhausted himself from the trip here. Though, he nearly jumped when the sound of his roommate shuffling into the room interrupted them both.

“You’re back earlier than I expected?” His observation sounded like a question when he paused in his tracks and looked from Seungjun to Jihun, confused.

“Well, it didn’t go so well. Let’s just leave it at that.” Seungjun answered with little patience left to even recall the details of the events earlier. Instead, he headed into the kitchen and filled up a glass with water from the tap. Handing it to the weak kid, he sat beside him with a look of concern on his face. “Here, you should drink something.”

Jihun glanced up and pushed the glass away. “I’m fine.”

“Is he okay?” Youjin drew closer, motherly instincts kicking in fast.

Seungjun pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. He didn’t want to make this into a big deal, but he also knew Jihun clearly wasn’t alright as he said he was. Ignoring Youjin, he persisted, “Just… drink a bit.”

Before Seungjun even realized Youjin had scurried off somewhere, he was already back with Hyein trailing close behind. He made some room for the small girl and Seungjun watched with a tight-lipped mouth as she approached Jihun.

“What happened?” She asked, crouched down in front of the younger boy with an intense look in her eyes. Seungjun had never seen her look so serious, but then again he’d never really looked at her long enough to notice until now.

Jihun sat upright, eyeing the girl for a second before he explained. “Someone just elbowed me pretty hard. I think I’ll be fine, I’m just tired.” The kid tried smiling it off, but quickly stopped once the girl squeezed his cheeks in her hands to steady his head and get a better look.

Hyein peered at him. “Did you black out at all?” The question made the skin on Seungjun’s arms crawl. He didn’t see the whole thing, so just the thought was troubling on his mind.

Jihun shrugged and looked away. “Maybe. I guess, for a bit. But I’m fine now, really.”

Youjin sighed from his spot a distance away and crossed his arms. “You don’t look fine at all. Just let her check you out, to be sure.”

“Could you get me an ice pack?” Hyein finally turned her attention to the older boy next to her patient, staring him down until she got an answer.

Seungjun was taken aback by the sudden attentiveness of the two and nodded with head with a lag. Shooting up, he ventured into the kitchen again, sifting through the freezer for anything like an ice pack. He’d never thought to have one on hand before and cursed himself now for such ignorance. Muffled words could be heard from the other room and Seungjun gripped tighter onto the freezer door handle, the cool air seeping out and hitting him in the face while he tried to listen in. Eventually it got too cold and he snapped back to what he was doing, grabbing the small ice tray they had and breaking it into a towel kept nearby. Wrapping up the towel, he paused and looked from one end of the kitchen to the other and frowned. Neither he nor his roommate had long hair so it wasn’t like they kept hairbands around, and now there weren’t any normal rubber bands he could recall either. With some doubts, easily outweighed by his concern for Jihun’s injury, the boy rashly pulled off the slim blue bracelet off his wrist and used it to tie the makeshift ice pack closed. He smiled bitterly to himself. At least it would be good for something, he thought.

“You seem okay, but I think you have a slight concussion.” Seungjun returned to Hyein pinching her fingers close to show how slight Jihun’s apparent concussion was. Yet, knowing it was so slight and he’d probably be normal again in a few hours, the older boy still worried. He reached out to hand the ice over to the boy only to be intercepted by Youjin who stole his spot next to Jihun in the minute he was gone. Seungjun furrowed his brow at his roommate but let it go and looked on as Youjin coddled the kid.

“Here. Where does it hurt?” Youjin whispered much too sweetly to the kid who hesitantly pointed out the spot on his head. With little delay, Youjin held the towel to the kid’s head and soothed him into the cool pain. He whispered a few more things inaudible to Seungjun from his seat across the table, though Seungjun sulked quietly to himself at the sight. He only sunk further into his seat once Hyein told Jihun to go lay down and rest and Youjin volunteered to guide him away toward a bed. It was only a glimpse that he’d caught before he downcasted his eyes, but seeing Youjin hold Jihun so gently, soothe him, and walk him away annoyed Seungjun. Jihun wasn’t Youjin’s girlfriend, so why did the guy have to be so caring all of a sudden?

Hyein suddenly appearing before him with the same attentive concern in her eyes as she had with Jihun startled him out of his thoughts. Without a word, she grabbed onto Seungjun’s hand and sucked in some air through her teeth. The noise she made sounded none too pleased when she looked back up at the boy. “How did this happen? Does it hurt?”

For the first time, Seungjun had finally noticed how bloody his own knuckles were. He only felt the pain now that she mentioned it, trying to pull his hand back with little strength. His mind was still elsewhere while the strong-willed girl was focused on healing him. Standing straight and rushing into Youjin’s room, she called back. “Wait a sec. Let me get something.” So he sat there alone, staring down at his rugged hand held in his lap. He brushed his fingers over the damaged knuckles, sticky from the dried blood. Suddenly something Youjin had told him weeks ago echoed in his mind and he furrowed his brow, squinting at the wounds. When Hyein returned, he watched silently as the small girl began cleaning and wrapping his hand in some gauze. She pulled the tape tight and pinned the edges closed. “That’s the best I can do with what I have here. But you should be fine in a day or two.” She patted his hand softly and let go, standing straight with her hands on her hips at a job well done.

Seungjun stared up at the girl. This was probably the first time he’d taken a good look at her without looking away in embarrassment or annoyance. Though, he felt embarrassed now for how rude and childish he had been. She was a nice girl despite all of Seungjun’s efforts to make her uncomfortable. Then, he felt guilty. He had always been so selfish and was only now accepting her now that she’d gone out of her way to care for him and Jihun both. She didn’t even really know Jihun and yet she rushed to his side at a moment’s notice.

Helplessly, Seungjun leaned forward in his seat, reaching out for the girls arms. She blinked and stepped back in confusion, but quickly paused once Seungjun had rested his forehead against her stomach. He didn’t move for a moment, face hidden from her view as he held her in place. He didn’t even know what he was really doing, his mind a swirl of thoughts and realizations, but he’d hoped this would’ve been enough to convey how he felt. His silence for how sorry he was to her. And when she gently raised her hand and patted his head, he smiled sheepishly to himself. He was glad she was understanding. He was glad that Youjin had someone like this nearby.

Then a hand hit the back of his hand hard and Seungjun yelped. Rubbing the spot, he lifted his head and looked up to find Youjin next to them. He tried to keep a calm composure, but Seungjun could tell he was annoyed. “I don’t know what you’re doing, but stop doing it.” The taller boy nodded in understanding, a smirk spreading across his lips at how easily he made Youjin jealous. Now they were even, at least.

Though, Youjin only frowned when Hyein giggled. “It’s fine. He’s cute.” She reached out and patted Seungjun’s head again, like he was a cute pet. “Kinda like a puppy.”

Frustrated and noticeably envious, Youjin skulked off to the couch, plopping down onto the cushion while trying to get over the obvious tease. “More like a mutt.” The older boy mumbled and rolled his eyes, only to be met with a tight embrace from the girl.

“Oh, don’t be so jealous. You’re still my Youjji-mocchi.” She poked at his side while his face turned red, beaming his gaze at Seungjun across the room who had a hand tight over his mouth. Though, it could hardly contain his fit of laughter and Seungjun soon roared into cackles that spread throughout the room. 

Before Youjin could say anything to redeem himself, Seungjun wiped a tear from his eye and stood up. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.” He glanced back down the hall and shrugged. “Maybe Jihun. It’s just too funny.”

“Well you’re going to have to wait until he gets up. He’s sleeping in your room right now.” Youjin mumbled, still embarrassed in front of his roommate. Though when Seungjun just stood there, obviously unsure of what to do now that he couldn’t even go into his room without disturbing Jihun, Youjin sighed and stood up. “Here,” he tossed the remote Seungjun’s way and dragged Hyein off with him toward his own room. “We’ll just hang out in my room. You can watch whatever you want.” Watching as the two shuffled off on their own, Seungjun grinned to himself and moved over to the couch. Seungjun loved taking every opportunity to tease Youjin, though he loved how endlessly thoughtful the guy was to him even more.

After hours of watching mindless television, which Seungjun quite enjoyed as an opportunity to catch up on some shows he’d been missing during exam week, the day had quickly turned into night. Youjin had just left to walk Hyein home so it was even quieter than usual. Yet, Seungjun felt more comfortable this way. It gave him some time to think to himself, about everything and especially the few things that had crossed his mind earlier. Though, a dim light from the crack under his bedroom door quickly distracted him and the boy shot up. Moving toward his room, he paused before it, hand glued onto the handle while he let out a shaky breath. Once he opened the door, a small smile across his lips, he quickly stopped from surprise.

Jihun was awake, though he was in the middle of getting dressed. He’d just slipped on a shirt, but he was definitely still in his underwear as Seungjun could easily tell. More like it was the one thing he couldn’t ignore. He’d hardly noticed before because of his gym shorts or long shirts, but if Jihun had one thing to be confident about it was certainly his ass. As he was facing the wall, Jihun didn’t notice the other boy right away, but quickly spun on his heel when he heard the door shut. Seeing him from the front, Seungjun only became more bashful. The kid was wearing one of his own shirts, and practically only his shirt.

Jihun looked down at himself and tugged at the shirt when he noticed Seungjun staring. “Oh, Youjin-hyung gave me this to change into. Is it yours?” The fact he was so naive to how provocative he looked right now only made Seungjun more frustrated. The older boy sighed and pinched his eyes closed, a casual way to avoid looking at him in this state.

“It’s fine, but could you at least put some pants on?” Seungjun cleared his throat when he voice started struggling to come out, but after peaking and seeing the kid fully clothed again, he regained his composure and questioned him. “Are you feeling better now?”

Nodding, Jihun sat back down on the bed. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He tried hiding his smile as he added, “Not sure if Inseong will be though.”

Seungjun chuckled and leaned against the door, arms crossed over his chest. His fingertips were ice cold, but he preferred to give the kid some distance. “Yeah I think I overdid it.”

“Pretty much.” Jihun leaned forward on his knees and scratched the sore spot on his head. After a moment, his voice softened as he revealed, “But seriously. I was really glad you did that. I was happy you were there.” He looked up at Seungjun and grinned softly. “Thanks Hyung.”

The prickling began in Seungjun’s chest again and he couldn’t help the corners of his mouth from lifting in joy. His face felt warm and the older boy quickly scratched at his cheek, hiding behind his cold fingers. “I’d do anything for you, you know.” His chest trembled with a thought and Seungjun soon pressed further against the door, fingers scratching at the surface behind his back. “Or else I wouldn’t be pulling my weight in this whole thing, right?” No, Seungjun wanted to say something else, but the weird pain in his gut wouldn’t let him. If anything, he was glad the lights were so dim in his room. He could hide everything in the shadows cast over him.

Jihun nodded and rubbed at his own arms, pinching the skin slightly. “You know,” He started and laughed shakily between his words, trying to make what he was saying light-hearted even though the thoughts were clearly difficult for him. “I never really told anyone… How much I hated Inseong.” Seungjun froze up at the revelation, stiff against the door while Jihun explained. “During high school he’d always point out my flaws... He’d joke about them to his other friends and make me feel stupid. When we hung out with Dahye he always lightened up so it was obvious he liked her.” He glimpsed at Seungjun before shying away. Seungjun looked down at his feet in guilt. “I couldn’t stand him, and yet… I still thought of him as my friend.” Jihun sniffled and swiped at his face, hanging his head low so Seungjun wouldn’t see him. “I admired him. Everyone liked him, he was good at everything… There were many times he’d joke with me and spend time with me. I don’t understand it. If he hated me so much, then why was he still so nice the rest of the time?” Both his hands smoothed over his eyes while he tried to keep his voice stable. “Why couldn’t he just be a total jerk? Why’d he buy me food and remember my birthdays? Why’d he help me with homework and bury my dog when it died? And then after it all, he went to the same college as me and stopped doing anything with me.” The boy bit his lip and sniffled some more, his teary eyes sheltered in his hands. “I didn’t even care about doing basketball in college but I was so stupid and so fucking lonely I joined because I knew that’s what he wanted to do. Now it just feels like he hates me more than before.”

Little whines had escaped the kid as he tried to calm down, though he clearly couldn’t help his sobbing now. Against his better judgement, Seungjun finally joined him at his side. Wrapping an arm around Jihun’s shoulder, he pulled him in closer and rubbed his shaky arm. “You said you’ve never told anyone this stuff before right?” Seungjun softened his voice and continued, “Then just let it all out. It’s okay now, because I…” He hesitated, “I’m your friend.” And he never wanted to see Jihun cry like this again. He never wanted to see him in such a vulnerable state because of someone Jihun thought was his friend. Seungjun didn’t want that to happen because he was sure now that he wouldn’t let it happen. He’d be there for Jihun and keep him smiling and happy. Seungjun glanced at his wrapped-up knuckles as he stroked Jihun’s hair through his little sobs. Seungjun decided he’d do all of this because he liked Jihun. He liked Jihun. He repeated the thought in his head and felt the twisted pain in his gut scatter into butterflies, quietly smiling in the other boy’s soft, messy hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna fit one more scene in this but it's better for the beginning of the next one so wait for it~~  
> Last-minute throwing in the Youjji-mocchi thing lmfao  
> Anyway this chapter's when things start actually getting crazier, as you can probably tell lmao. There should only be two more chapters, so the end is in sight everyone! Weird.


	9. Porcelain

Seungjun poured milk into his bowl, drowning the bland cereal within it. It was nearly lunch time by now, but Seungjun had settled for some cereal instead of making a decent meal. He’d honestly half expected Youjin to come back and wake him up from his spot on the couch earlier with the sweet aromas of his cooking. Though, Youjin seemed to stay out all night and still hadn’t returned. Seungjun figured the guy must’ve stayed with his girlfriend rather than come back to being a third wheel. And really, Seungjun was grateful the guy didn’t come back last night. It gave Jihun and Seungjun both time to stay up late, talking some things out and being a bit more honest with each other. Though as many little embarrassing stories about his middle school days and annoying classmates as there were, Seungjun still hadn’t been completely honest. He had yet to really open up to Jihun about his feelings, but he also figured it was something he needed to really deal with himself first. He didn’t want to rush into something and end up hurting them both over just inklings of affection. He was still afraid in some ways, though now it was about messing things up between him and Jihun.

“You okay? You look super tired.” Jihun interrupted the older boy’s thoughts with his mouth full of cereal. Both boys had been too lazy to properly cook and settled for a simple bowl of some lackluster chocolate-flavored flakes.

Seungjun blinked and held back a laugh once he got a look at Jihun. The kid’s cheeks were full, puffed out with his lips pursed together. It was cute, Seungjun thought. He looked down at his cereal, sitting untouched and getting soggier by the second as his mind had wandered just a moment ago. “Yeah, I’m fine. It was just hard getting to sleep on that thing.” The boy nodded toward the lumpy couch he’d slept on last night.

Jihun glanced over at it and frowned in guilt. “Sorry. I should’ve been the one to sleep there…”

With a shrug, Seungjun stuffed his mouth with a few spoonfuls and swallowed hard. “If there’s anyone to blame, it’s Youjin for not telling me he was staying out.” He scoffed and teased his missing roommate more, “Not like his bed is that much better. The guy sleeps on a bed of rocks.” The both of them laughed to themselves, a smile lingering on Seungjun’s lips while he watched Jihun swirl his spoon around in his bowl and giggle to himself.

Then, Jihun sucked in a breath and smirked at the other. “Well if you really wanted you could’ve stayed with me last night. I would’ve have minded.”

Seungjun choked slightly on some milk, though managed to keep it down. “You’re strangely dirty, you know that?” He muttered to himself, “No wonder you get along with Youjin well.”

Catching his words, Jihun laughed and pushed his bowl away, leaning on the tabletop. “How is that strange? I’m a twenty-one year old guy, what do you expect?”

“Well, I guess…” Seungjun peered at the boy and put his spoon down, imitating the boy’s pose. “I just think it’s weird because you don’t look like some perverted type.”

Jihun giggled, “And you know what that looks like?” Neither one budged from their sudden staring contest.

“I’m a twenty-three year old guy, what do you expect?” Seungjun mocked the kid’s tone as well.

Jihun raised a brow, “So then what type am I exactly?”

Seungjun hummed, “I think you’re cute.” Jihun blinked at that and satisfied Seungjun somewhat for winning the little game neither knew they were playing. “You’re kind of naturally adorable, like… endearing to watch?” He explained himself further and held back a pleased smile at the tints of red brightening across the kid’s soft cheeks.

Jihun stuttered, “R-Really? Didn’t think I was like that…” When he began to mumble, the boy pulled back his bowl and slurped some of the milk still left. He was hunched over and trying to hide his bashful expression and it was priceless to Seungjun.

So, the older boy egged him on some more. “But you know, someone who’s cute can still be kind of be alluring. Some people like that whole innocent, naive image.” Seungjun shrugged and went back to finishing off his own cereal. Though now it was much too soggy and left a weird taste in his mouth.

“You mean kind of like… a virgin?” Jihun stirred the spoon around the ring of milk remaining, his posture slouched over the table.

Seungjun blinked and nodded. “I guess so.” He took a good look at Jihun and raised a brow when things clicked. “Jihun are… are you a virgin?”

The boy’s silence said everything, but eventually he nodded once with his head hung low. He glanced up and muttered, “It’s not that big a deal, right?”

Suddenly Seungjun felt bad he even asked. It obviously struck a chord of sorts with the kid and there wasn’t an easy way to just play it off as a joke like usual. He actually wished Jihun would’ve been more upset about it and been mad at him, but instead he was playing into exactly what Seungjun was just talking about. Probably without even meaning to, Jihun was playing the part of some shy virgin and it only made Seungjun realize how true his own words were. It was, in a way, somewhat attractive.

Clearing his throat, Seungjun sat up straight and brushed it off. He admitted to himself that he liked Jihun already, but imagining anything physical with the kid still felt confusing. “Well it’s not…” Seungjun felt a sudden pressure on him as he found Jihun staring straight at him for an answer. “It’s kind of overrated, really.”

Jihun leaned in closer, interest piqued. “You’re not a virgin?”

“You know, this isn’t really a proper breakfast topic.” Seungjun frowned and tried dodging the question.

The kid sat back and looked down. “Sorry…”

Feeling guiltier than ever, Seungjun sighed and messed around with his spoon. “I had my first time when I was in high school. She was a senior and I was a junior and it was… pretty disappointing.” He faked a laugh despite how uncomfortable he was to talk about it. He’d practically forgotten about it all by now, but the pain from being a one-time fling when he thought they were in love still stung.

“That sucks.” Jihun blurted out and Seungjun glared at him despite saying the obvious. Though Seungjun quickly lightened up when Jihun added, “If you were so young and it was your first time it should’ve been more special. Seems like she was selfish.”

Seungjun chuckled and leaned back in his seat, arms crossed. “Yep, and that’s why you shouldn’t go out with older guys, got that?” He suddenly scolded Jihun in a playful manner and the boy smirked.

“You’re older than me though.”

Seungjun frowned. “I’m an exception.” Standing from his seat, he began cleaning up their bowls. “But seriously, you should find someone your age. Maybe even a bit younger.” Turning on the faucet, Seungjun started rinsing his bowl. “Older people just have hidden agendas, they’re no good.”

Jihun trailed after him, handing Seungjun the dirty dishes as he washed them in the sink. “But if I’m dating someone younger, wouldn’t that make me the creep then?”

With a bitter look, Seungjun splashed some water at the kid’s face and defended his logic. “Just trust me, okay? And I never said older guys were creeps...”

Jihun giggled and teased some more, “Don’t worry, the only creep for me is you.” And before Seungjun could splash more water at him, he scurried off toward the living room. Though honestly, Seungjun was too focused on scrubbing the dishes clean and trying to subside the warm tingling across his skin to retaliate.

Neither having class that day, both boys hung around Seungjun’s place. They passed the time playing some of Youjin’s games, chatting about some classes they were pleased to be finished with. Seungjun’s graduation came up in conversation, but they quickly moved on. It wasn’t like Seungjun was that nervous about it or anything, but he just wasn’t very excited either. Graduating was just another milestone he’s always told himself he needed to reach, like getting a job or marriage.

Seungjun glanced at Jihun next to him, absorbed in customizing his character in the game. His lips curved into a little smile and he shook his head, laughing under his breath at his thoughts. Seungjun briefly entertained the idea of who he’d marry in years’ time.

When a knock came at the door, the two glanced over at the entrance. Only when Jihun went back to struggling with his last life in the game did Seungjun manage to lift himself up and drag himself to the door. He had just gotten so comfortable in his spot and now Youjin was probably making him open the door for him because the guy forgot his keys again. The knocking came a second time as Seungjun grasped the handle and sighed.

“How could you forget your keys  _ again _ ?” Seungjun started and quickly stumbled over his words once he came face to face with Heejun at his door instead. The older boy blinked and stood straight out of politeness. “Oh… sorry, I didn’t expect to see you?” It was clear he was more than confused as to why and how the smaller boy sought out his place.

Heejun peaked past Seungjun as best as he could, grinning wide at the other while gripping the bag strap over his shoulder. “Hey. I’ve been looking for Jihun, is he here?” He was direct to the point, wide eyes saying he already knew the answer and wanted to come in. Helpless to those eyes’ demands, Seungjun stepped aside and welcomed him inside. Heejun grinned and slid inside, crouching down to untie his shoes without dropping his smile. “Hope you don’t mind me suddenly coming in. I went to Jihun’s place first but he wasn’t there so I asked around for your address.” When he stood again, he rubbed the back of his head and chuckled, “Didn’t get your number before, so I had to find you the hard way.”

Before Seungjun could say anything, Jihun had already paused his game and shuffled over. “Heejun? What are you…” He was even more baffled than Seungjun was at the boy’s sudden appearance.

Digging into his bag, the younger boy pulled out Jihun’s phone and handed it off to the kid who was still bewildered. “Here, you left it at practice yesterday.”

Jihun took the phone into his hands and nodded his head, surprised to see the device again. “Thanks…” He mumbled a word of gratitude and messed with the screen a bit. It still miraculously had some battery left as Seungjun could tell after moving to shadow over the kid. 

Seungjun chortled slightly and pointed at the screen. “What’s with your wallpaper?” On Jihun’s phone was a photo he and Jihun had taken when they first met. Specifically, it was the one where Seungjun leaned in to kiss Jihun’s cheek. “And you call me cheesy…” Seungjun had never noticed it before despite handling the kid’s phone once or twice, but he figured it was because he was busy messing with other stuff on there. He had to wonder just how long Jihun’s phone had been like this.

Immediately Jihun shut off his phone and hid it from view at his side. Slipping away from Seungjun, he looked away in some embarrassment. “I-I made it like that a while ago… I just forgot to change it…”

“Actually…” Heejun cut in and both guys turned their attention to their forgotten guest. Heejun sighed, “That’s a part of what I wanted to talk to you about, Jihun. Can we talk?” He eyed Jihun directly with such a sincere look that Seungjun wondered whether he should stick around for their one-on-one. Though, as if Heejun had read his mind, the boy gleamed at Seungjun and added, “You can stay for this if you want too, since it’s got some stuff to do with you.” He glanced back at Jihun with a softer tone. “Is that okay?”

Jihun blinked and after a moment of thought and a few glances Seungjun’s way, agreed to the talk and moved back toward the couch. Heejun followed after while Seungjun fetched some water for him. He wasn’t sure how long this would take, but he’d at least be a decent host in the meantime.

Being a blunt person, Heejun slipped his bag off and set it at his feet, getting right to the point the moment they sat down. “You’re okay now, right? You’re not hurt?”

Shaking his head with a small grin, Jihun shot a look Seungjun’s way before staring at the phone held in his lap. “No, I’m fine now. Seungjun took care of me.” For some reason, hearing that made Seungjun’s pride swell up. 

“That’s good.” Heejun took a sip of water and looked from one boy to the other across from him on the couch. “Look, I know the guys were being a bunch of dicks to you lately, but they took it way too far yesterday so we all sat down and had a talk after practice.” Heejun leaned forward and diverted all his attention onto Jihun who looked increasingly uncomfortable as the rest of the team had been brought up. “We all opened up a lot more and I made sure the others understood what they did wrong.” He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “Though to be honest, it’s not really that simple to change people’s opinions, especially with stuff like this.”

Jihun let out a breath and smiled. “Yeah…” Seungjun wanted to say something reassuring, though he doubted anything he’d say would help.

“That’s why it’s up to you.” Heejun started, an intense look still in his eyes. “If you don’t want to come back, it’s fine. I’ll just tell the team and Coach for you.”

Tensing up somewhat, Jihun fidgeted in his seat. “What about Inseong? He’s okay with… everything?”

Briefly, Heejun looked to Seungjun sitting silently in the corner, then at his own feet. With a click of his tongue, he rubbed at his neck and cocked his head slightly. “Well… Inseong’s actually… on probation.” Stretching his arms out, he tried laughing off the awkward and surprising reveal. “Coach made me temporary captain.”

Seungjun’s face mirrored Jihun’s nearly perfectly. They both sat there stunned, mouths hanging open as they tried to process what he’d just said. “Wait, let me get this straight.” Seungjun finally broke the silence, letting out small laughs of disbelief. “Inseong’s out?  _ Inseong _ ?”

With a nod, Heejun pursed his lips and looked around the room. “Unfortunately. Lost our star player right before the finals.” He laughed in a stale tone until Jihun curled up in his seat, legs up to his chest and face buried in his knees.

“God it’s all my fault. We’re gonna lose and it’s all because of me.” He clutched at his phone in his lap and lamented. Seungjun wanted to reach over and comfort him, but before he could even move, Heejun was already next to Jihun, sitting on the coffee table and leaning toward the kid.

“Jihun, it’s not your fault, it’s Inseong’s. He acted like a jerk and now he’s answering to it.” He reached out and put a hand on the kid’s knee, focusing solely on Jihun as if Seungjun wasn’t even in the room. “No one blames you for anything. And actually, that’s why I’m hoping you’ll come back. We really need another good point guard.” He grinned wide and softened his voice. “I might be captain, but if I’m point guard too then we’re definitely going to get slaughtered.”

A small chuckle escaped Jihun and he started to break down his walls. Stretching out his legs, the kid leaned his head into the back cushion of the couch and smiled sheepishly. “I’ll come to practice, don’t worry. I can’t leave you guys hanging or I’ll feel even worse about all this.”

Heejun leaned back and crossed his arms, looking accomplished and prideful with his cheeky grin. “Glad to hear it. And trust me, the guys won’t bother you anymore. I’ll make sure you’ll feel a lot safer there.” With a small sigh, the smaller boy scratched at his shoulder again and threw his head back. “Really, I should’ve done that in the first place. It’s my fault I wasn’t really there for you.”

Jihun lifted his brow and sat upright. He was flattered, but overwhelmed by the boy’s support. “It’s not your problem, you didn’t need to get involved.”

“No, I should have done more. I should’ve looked out for you a lot better.” Leaning on one leg, he cupped his cheek in his hand and added, “I’m bi, so I get it. You can come to me about anything, okay?”

The other boy lit up, eyelids fluttering in surprise. “You? Really?”

Though Heejun merely let out an airy laugh and shrugged with confidence. “Yeah it’s no big deal to me anymore. I’ve had some boyfriends before.” Finally, he turned his attention toward Seungjun sinking further into his spot out of neglect. Glancing back at Jihun, he joked, “I can even help you out with this guy sometimes, if you need it.”

Seungjun frowned at whatever that was supposed to mean. Then he took a look at Jihun and felt his gut twist up again. The kid couldn’t stop smiling, sitting relaxed and expression bright as he stared at Heejun. Even the little laughs Heejun won out of Jihun from his ongoing jokes felt so different than the ones he was used to. Smiling to himself, Seungjun admired how happy and comfortable Jihun looked in that moment. He admired how Heejun was being so open and kind to Jihun. Then Seungjun wondered whether Jihun would be happier with someone like Heejun. Heejun was younger and bolder. He had a handle on everything even when it all went downhill. He easily picked up the pieces and made Jihun shine like he was brand new. Jihun could actually rely on Heejun a lot more than Seungjun. The older boy knew he was just being pessimistic and irrational, but he couldn’t deny the fact Heejun was completely honest and confident. Whereas, any thought of opening up about his own feelings always left Seungjun choked up. He couldn’t speak it out loud, especially not to Jihun, because a part of him was still afraid of making it into reality. A small part of him still doubted he really cared that much, convinced himself in the cracks of his insecurities that he really was just confused. He’d only known infatuation and idolization, not love. As stupid as it sounded even in his own head, he wasn’t sure he knew what designated anything he was feeling to be love at all. And that was the thing; he’d always played up an image of confidence and experience, too afraid now to admit he needed help figuring himself out. Heejun on the other hand was completely confident. He’d long solved his internal problems and was there, arms open for Jihun while Seungjun just felt as if his body were about to collapse in on itself at any moment.

“Hey, you okay? You’re kinda staring…” Heejun’s voice broke Seungjun out of his trance when the spotlight was suddenly turned onto him.

Seungjun blinked and sat upright. “Oh. Yeah. It’s nothing.” He tried to save face and rubbed at his arm, bringing up another subject quickly. “So what about the phone? You said something earlier…”

Heejun’s eyes lit up like he only just recalled that fact. Honestly, it was a little strange seeing the kid’s wide eyes enlarge even more. Seemed almost impossible, Seungjun thought. “Oh yeah, well…” Patting at his knees, he hummed and tried to figure out how to explain whatever it was. “When I talked with the guys we all discussed what happened and when this mess started. I don’t really want to name names but…” Heejun let out a breath and rubbed at his eyes. “I still want to be honest with you. So I’ll just tell you what they told me: Inseong said he went to the locker room for… I don’t remember, but he heard some weird noise and when he checked it out all he saw was your phone on the ground.” He gestured toward the phone and gradually all eyes were on the device settled in Jihun’s hands. “He said when he picked it up to figure out whose it was he saw the picture and then some messages from someone named ‘Boyfriend’ or something?”

“Husband…” Jihun mumbled and thumbed across his phone, head low and face burning red from embarrassment. Seungjun could tell only because he felt the same way, embarrassed and invaded.

“Yeah, that’s it. I guess he was reading through some of it--” Heejun explained further until Seungjun cut in, evidently pissed.

“So he read our private messages and told everyone?” His hand shook in his lap from how badly he wanted to make a fist but struggled because of the bandages. Instead he glared at Heejun and raised his voice. “Just how much of a douchebag is this guy?”

Heejun bit his lip and interjected, “Hey, he’s not a horrible guy okay? He didn’t tell anyone, some others just walked in and saw it too and they spread it around. He wouldn’t actually do something that mean.” He breathed out and calmed down a moment. “Look, I know him. He can be a bit of an asshole sometimes,”

“Sometimes.” Seungjun scoffed, though quickly winced when Jihun kicked at his leg to get him to stop.

Brows furrowed, Heejun tried vouching for the guy. “But he has his own problems too. He was wrong for not doing anything to sort this out, wrong for reading your messages, and wrong for fighting you.” He glanced at Seungjun, then turned his attention back to Jihun, softer look in his eyes again. “But he didn’t spread it around. The other guys took it too far, it wasn’t all on Inseong. But he’s the one paying for it now, so… and I’m not trying to make you forgive him, I’m just hoping you won’t think of him as a completely bad guy.”

Jihun looked to Seungjun, as if waiting to see what his opinion was first before answering. Though Seungjun simply rolled his eyes and huffed, “Well I’m still pissed at him, so he’s not getting much from me.”

Heejun smirked, “Well, I didn’t expect you to. Inseong’s still pissed at you too. Broke his phone and his nose.” The reminder made Seungjun feel a bit guilty for taking things too far out of irrationality, though he was still too stubborn to forgive the guy completely. 

“I think…” Jihun started and both boys turned their attention to him with anticipation. “I’m not sure what to think. I just need some time.”

Heejun grinned and patted the boy’s knee. “That’s fine. I just wanted to let you in on what happened anyway. I’m your friend too.” The two of them smiled at each other and Seungjun sunk further into his spot, leaning on the armrest beside him while his aggravation subsided. “So you’ll come to practice today?” Heejun brightened up and stared at Jihun until he answered. 

“Um… I guess. I probably should.” He laughed with nervousness still caught in his throat. “We only have a few days left anyway.”

Reaching out for the boy’s hands, Heejun gripped them tight in his own and sunk onto his knees on the floor in front of him. “Thank you!” He shouted and held Jihun’s hands against his head hung low, laughing loudly. “I was actually worried I’d show up without you, all the guys would’ve been pissed at me.”

Jihun blushed slightly from how suddenly clingy Heejun was, but laughed nonetheless. “I don’t think anyone would be pissed at you…”

“You don’t have to make me feel better, really.” The smaller boy joked and stood up, walking back to grab his bag. “Oh! Also,” He spun on his heel and beamed at Jihun and Seungjun both as they rose to their feet. “You’ll come to my birthday party on Sunday, right? It’s the day after the game so we’re all going to celebrate then instead.” The boy grinned from ear to ear as he settled his bag over his shoulder. “It’s a good pick-me-up for if we lose too. You should come. Both of you.”

Seungjun blinked and paused himself, looking to Jihun like he was waiting for his opinion first this time. The kid smiled sweetly back at him and nodded, promising Heejun they’d come and asking him about presents he’d like while they walked their guest out. Seungjun just trailed behind them both quietly. He still had his doubts and insecurities, especially around someone like Heejun, but Jihun’s smile and expression just then, directed only at Seungjun, made him feel happy just as they were for now.

“Do you at least know what his favorite color is?” Seungjun was growing more impatient and pushed some more hangers of jackets roughly to the other side. He had his phone glued to his ear, his other hand occasionally rubbing at his forehead whenever he got too much of a headache trying to come up with what to get Heejun for his birthday.

“Um…” Dahye on the other side of the phone hummed with hopelessness. “Not really.” She added quickly before Seungjun could retort again, “I told you I don’t really know him  _ that _ well.”

Seungjun bit his lip and stood in a dark corner of the fourth shop he’d stopped in for any ideas. “Well what did you get him then? You said you were going didn’t you?”

Dahye laughed awkwardly into the phone. “Yuji and I just pitched in for some shoes we thought he’d like.” She chuckled some more, though Seungjun was hardly amused. “Not sure if they’ll fit but I figured we could just give the gift receipt to him.”

After a bit more of useless chatting and unhelpful suggestions, Seungjun eventually hung up and sighed. He would’ve just dragged Jihun out with him for some help, since surely the guy had to know something about his own teammate. Though, the kid was swamped with dividing his time between hours and hours of practice and the few shifts he’d taken at the library. The last time he even saw the kid in person was that Monday morning with Heejun and that was already two days ago.

Then Seungjun realized just how pathetic he’d become. He always ragged on the kid for being so needy and dependent, but only now as he desperately searched for the right gift without any real will to do so without Jihun did Seungjun understand that he was the real clingy one. As he got a better look at a jacket nearby, he furrowed his brow and sighed hard. What was more frustrating was how many things he wanted to get for Jihun rather than Heejun. Shoving the jacket back onto the rack, he turned and spotted the cashier eyeing him strangely. When she caught him looking she looked away, though Seungjun simply bit his tongue and bowed slightly as he stepped out. Maybe he just needed a snack or some coffee to get his mind in the right place.

“Seungjun?” A guy called out from behind him as he turned toward the nearest cafe. Seungjun stopped and looked pleasantly surprised once he recognized the guy catching up to him. “I knew it was you! Out shopping?” Clinging onto the guy’s arm was a girl, quietly looking between the two as she struggled to keep up in her heels.

Seungjun eyed her a moment then nodded with a small grin. “Yeah. Looking for a present for a friend.” He’d recognized the guy from some classes he’d taken the past year or two, they’d even gone out to drink with other classmates a few times, but Seungjun stood there faking through it all. He honestly couldn’t recall the guy’s name. What was more distracting was how oddly familiar the girl was, though he couldn’t think of any explanation for that either.

The guy laughed heartily. “Just a friend? Or did you finally get a girlfriend?” Looking to the girl beside him now keeping her hands to herself, the peppy guy joked, “He’s only had one girlfriend all throughout college. They didn’t even last long.” He shrugged then quickly flashed a wide grin back at Seungjun. Pointing to the girl, he introduced them. “Oh, speaking of, this is my girlfriend.” Pointing back to Seungjun, he tried giving a brief introduction. “This is Park Seungjun. He’s--”

“I know who he is.” She interjected, her voice and expression full of nervousness. Though Seungjun wasn’t sure her boyfriend could tell under his confidence. She looked away at the store window and rubbed at her arm. “We… had a project together.”

Hearing her voice, it clicked with Seungjun and he lit up. “Oh! You’re… sorry, I don’t remember your name. But we did…” He paused and came to grips with the situation. This was one of the girls who paid him off to be her boyfriend, something she probably never told her new, actual boyfriend in front of him now. Clearing his throat, Seungjun smiled regardless and covered for her. “Yeah, we had that project together this semester.”

Naive to everything going on under their words and forced smiles, the other man nudged at Seungjun’s arm and complained. “So you can hang out with my girlfriend but not me? I haven’t heard from you in months, man.” He snickered, “You must really have a girlfriend then, huh? No time for the guys anymore?”

Between the guy’s persistent questions and the girl’s bitter gaze, Seungjun started to feel the pressure. With a nod, he laughed a bit and answered, “Yeah, kind of.”

At that, the guy’s eyes lit up and he pushed him for more details, amazed Seungjun finally committed to someone. “So it is true! I heard you were dating finally. Like, for real this time.” He laughed to himself and added, “Remember that time that girl begged you to be her pretend boyfriend? I swear that night you told us was the last we met up. It wasn’t her, was it?”

Seungjun knew exactly what he was talking about, the details coming to the forefront of his mind as if they had been repressed memories, carrying every ounce of embarrassment with them. Shaking his head quickly, he clarified, “No, no. No way.” He caught sight of the girl standing silently beside them both. She crossed her arms and looked to her feet, as if hoping she was curling up into something so small she wouldn’t be seen by either of them once this topic was brought up. Seungjun felt for the poor girl, but he couldn’t help that her boyfriend was so talkative. That was one thing Seungjun had gladly forgotten for a while.

“If only I were that lucky, having girls beg me to date them.” He sighed in exaggerated woe until the girl shoved at his arm in annoyance. Rubbing at the sore spot, he uttered apologies at the jealousy he planted and moved on. “Anyway, what’s she like then? She younger?” He leaned in and whispered with his hand to protect his lips from being read by his scorned girlfriend. “She hot?”

Seungjun blinked and felt his chest tighten up. Scratching at his cheek, he forced out a grin and hesitantly went along with it. “Yeah, she’s nice.” He pictured Jihun in his head and let out an airy laugh. “She’s a junior and plays basketball.” He started to feel his body loosen up and his heart unravel the knot inside. “She loves sweet things and the color blue.”

He pictured Jihun sitting next to him at the library. The little cute habits he had.

“She’s pretty cute…”

Seungjun smiled to himself. He remembered Jihun laughing during their lunches together.

“Her smile brightens her whole face.”

The guy’s last question rang through his ears and the few memories he had of Jihun’s body flashed across his mind.

“Her body’s… kinda sexy too…” He grinned to himself. “But she’s really shy. Almost too shy.”

“Yeah, we get it. She’s perfect.” The guy rolled his eyes and interrupted when Seungjun seemed to be drifting off into his own world.

Seungjun snapped back to reality, his lingering smile disappearing as he met with the girl’s eyes. She looked sad and disappointed, yet she showed him a bittersweet smile. “Sounds like you really like her.”

Quiet, Seungjun acknowledged her words with a simple nod. “Yeah. I like her a lot.” He realized this girl must’ve liked him when she approached him before and felt sorry he couldn’t return those feelings. Though, they both accepted by now how different their paths were. She’d moved on to find a new guy while Seungjun was still figuring himself out. She was better off this way, bound to be happier with someone who appreciated her.

“Just don’t get too lovestruck…” The guy caught both their attention and joked, “Or your girlfriend will have you on a tight leash.” He motioned toward his own throat, as if he was stifled himself, until his girlfriend scowled and hit his arm again. He winced in pain while she ranted at him. With haste, he waved goodbye to Seungjun and reached for her hand, keeping it from punishing him any longer as he lead them away. “Nice seeing you again Seungjun. Don’t be such a stranger!” He called back while the girl took one last glance at him. Spinning on her heel, her long, curly hair brushed behind her shoulders and bounced with each step they took together. Seungjun smiled to himself as he watched them leave, arm in arm. He didn’t have to worry so much over the girls he’d hurt out of rejection, he thought, because they change and grow for the better as well.

Waiting for the game to start, Seungjun was mindlessly scrolling through his phone. He reread all the messages he’d sent Jihun that day to cheer him on and wishing him good luck. Jihun only responded a few times to each of them, though Seungjun was still glad he even did that much. He was always worried about disturbing Jihun the day he had a big game, and today was the biggest of them all. Though now that he was settled into his seat, placard ready in his lap, Seungjun felt more excited than nervous. Jihun was likely going to be playing the whole game and Inseong had to sit there and watch it all. He knew Heejun said to not hold what happened against the guy, but Seungjun couldn’t help holding a bit of a grudge. He couldn’t help being overprotective of Jihun after all the ups and downs he’d seen the kid go through. So he sat there with a smirk on his face every glimpse he got of the forsaken captain on the bench, spiteful and unapologetic about it.

“So what’d you end up getting Heejun for tomorrow?” Yuji leaned over and asked Seungjun next to him while people were still finding their seats around them. Youjin and Hyein hadn’t arrived yet and Dahye was off getting everyone drinks before the game as to not miss a single thing. Now it was just Yuji and Seungjun alone for the first time in a while.

Humming to himself, Seungjun gave her a cheeky grin with some false confidence. “It’s a surprise.”

She chuckled in return and shook her head. “That just means you got something cheap or expected.”

“Oh, like you didn’t get him shoes?” Seungjun peered at her, holding back some laughs. “Dahye told me it’s from both of you too… Now who’s being the cheap one?”

Rolling her eyes, she crossed her arms across her chest and leaned back in the cold, plastic seat. Her legs were crossed, bare skin exposed because of her shorter skirt, and yet the most radiating thing about her was still her sweet smile. Yuji was always the type who looked as honest as she was, and in this moment he appreciated how humble and thoughtful she’d been to Seungjun despite all his lies and ulterior motives. Glancing down at the sign in his lap, he bit his lip and looked down on the empty, polished court below.

“Hey, Yuji?” The question tumbled out of his mouth like he still wasn’t sure whether he should be asking her this. “Jihun still likes me, right?”

He’d come to grips with himself that he developed feelings for Jihun, but there was a lingering feeling of doubt with himself. The deadline for their deal was in just a few days and Seungjun was becoming worried about actually parting. He was worried he’d somehow let Jihun know too late, that Jihun would move on as soon as their deal was up. Seungjun had been bottling it all up for some time that now that they were at the finals game he only had so many chances left to deal with it all. It was about time he let some of it out, he thought.

Yuji blinked and looked Seungjun up and down like he was crazy. “Jihun? Of course he likes you.”

“Has he ever told you that?” Seungjun looked back at the girl, pushing back the desperation in his eyes.

A small laugh of disbelief escaped her and the two stared at each other quietly until she softened up and leaned closer. “He hasn’t told  _ me _ , but he likes you, honest.” It was clear she was becoming concerned all of a sudden. “Why? What’s wrong?”

It felt strange talking about this all to Yuji of all people. Talking about his newfound feelings that he’d been faking this whole time to the girl he thought he liked for so long. He looked away and bit his lip again, wondering if explaining anything he was thinking was just too much trouble for either of them. “Well… nothing really. It’s just…” With a sigh, he fixed his position and leaned back in his seat. His hand gripped onto the slim armrest between them both, fingers tapping at the end to an off-beat rhythm. “He’s opened up so much to me. He’s told me so many things he hasn’t told anyone, and I haven’t done the same.” He grinned to himself and stared at the court. “I’ve never really been honest with him or expressed how I feel so I’m afraid… that he won’t take me seriously and will just leave me behind.” He laughed sourly and leaned on his other arm, hand covering his mouth as he muttered, “It’s stupid. It doesn’t matter.”

Then Seungjun felt something stranger. Yuji had reached out and put her pristine hand over his own restless one. She stayed closer to Seungjun and moved to face him better, grinning sweetly again to help him from sinking and drowning in his own head. “It’s not stupid, it’s okay to be a little doubtful now and again.” She shrugged and joked, “Who doesn’t ever doubt they’re loved?” Patting on his hand, she had a stern tone. “Jihun adores you, he does. You make him so happy, more than I or Dahye ever could.”

“But--” The boy started until she held up a finger and shushed him.

“No one’s perfect, Seungjun. As long as you love him back and can help pick up the pieces, we’re all allowed a few mistakes aren’t we?” She moved both hands onto his and held it gently in her own. “Just open up a bit more to him and you’ll feel better. Trust me, it’s hard but totally worth it.” Her cheeks rounded into a wide smile and Seungjun helplessly grinned back.

Spirits lifted somewhat, the boy scolded himself for being so scared and cowardly. He’d resolved to finally tell Jihun before their deal was up how much he liked him, how much he didn’t want to pretend anymore. It was hard to admit out loud, but even if he choked on the words he’d try and be honest for once in their whole time together. Grasping Yuji’s fingers with his own, he nodded and thanked her without any words. Nothing seemed to be harder to him than laying out his heart to the world, speaking his mind in its totality. Though with a little push from his friend, he hoped he’d be able to finally let it out to Jihun too.

Suddenly, Yuji pulled her hands away and chuckled awkwardly to herself. Seungjun looked behind him toward the figure she was staring at and found himself under a fiery glare from Dahye. “I see you two are getting cozy.” She mumbled between her teeth, arms lifted as she held the carrier with their drinks in tow. If her hands weren’t full at the moment, she probably would’ve smacked Seungjun right then and there. Instead, the girl squeezed by into her seat with a huff, Yuji trying to explain for the both of them without exposing Seungjun’s impromptu therapy session. At this point he started to wonder if he should just get an actual therapist to deal with his issues, seeing as how many people he found himself shoving his problems onto.

By the time an announcer had started his commentary introductions of himself and each team over the loudspeaker, Youjin and Hyein finally arrived. The older guy looked relieved to get there just in time and soon all of their focus was on the figures finishing up their warm-ups below. This time the commentator read out each player’s name as they entered onto the court more officially. When Jihun’s name came up, all five of them shot up and cheered as loud as they could. Seungjun and Youjin’s voices boomed across the court while Dahye was practically screeching through to the next member’s introduction. Seungjun laughed and sat back down while Yuji tried to calm her down a bit. Some others around the stadium had cheered for him too, but Jihun had caught sight of their little group in the stands with ease. He smiled and waved in their direction for a second before turning back to the rest of his team and cheering on the rest of the players. The kid was pretty embarrassed, but at least he knew where to look for some support for the rest of the game.

The tip off was made and the whistle blew to start the game, Jihun’s team snatching the ball into their court right away. After a bit of maneuvering, they managed to score a basket before the first minute was even up. The whole stadium roared with excitement while they turned onto defense in seconds. Over the course of the first quarter it was a back and forth match. Jihun’s team would score and the other team would score back. By the time the whistle signaled a break for the first quarter, the two were tied in the low twenties.

Huddled up around their coach Hyeyeon, she pointed around the court and then at some of the members, squeezing in some water breaks while they tried to catch their breath. They sat on the bench for a few minutes until the referee signaled both teams to be ready. Heejun clapped his hands loudly and jogged onto the court, tugging up his shorts over his thighs while he got into a ready position. He called out to a few of the other members and directed them thoroughly as the second quarter began. Seungjun fingered at the sign in his lap, a little nervous with their close game. Though, he fully trusted Heejun to help them all out the best he could. Honestly, he showed more interaction than Inseong ever did. Seungjun glanced at the old captain on the bench, leaning over his legs while he was forced to watch the game he couldn’t participate in. Hyeyeon was even crueler than he was, Seungjun thought.

“Ugh it’s too close! Why is it so close!” Yuji babbled on nervously to vent her frustration at the current score. Seungjun laughed though he felt the same. If something didn’t happen soon he wasn’t sure if they’d even win. He knew it was the finals and all, but he never imagined it’d be this much of a stalemate.

Then, Jihun scored a three-pointer and they all flew up from their seats in wild cheers. He broke their team further away from the others and soon other points followed. They gained a small seven point lead within a few minutes and it started to distress the other team enough to distract them. Meanwhile, Jihun was on a roll with the baskets, stacking up more points with ease. All that practice with his team this week must’ve really helped, Seungjun thought. Under Inseong’s guidance, Jihun hardly got to practice properly, but now he was shining as if the court was his personal stage. Slowly more and more people started cheering as fervently for Jihun as their group was. Some of them mistook him to even be their team’s prodigal captain a few times. Though, eventually it was clear that this wasn’t Inseong, it was Kim Jihun. That player radiating confidence and talent that began to intimidate the other team was named Kim Jihun. The audience soon committed that name to memory.

Halftime quickly came up and the teams moved back to their locker rooms for rest and recovery, for lost points and small injuries both. Seungjun and the girls shouted out toward Jihun as he left behind the double doors, the kid embarrassed again though clearly moved. He was grinning ear to ear and it only made Seungjun smile and warm up too. At least, until he was named the one to get everyone snacks during the break this time. Though he was disappointed in becoming their group’s errand boy, he couldn’t stop smiling. Jihun was really enjoying himself and everyone watching was enthralled by him. Seungjun was proud for the kid, but also gloating in his own head. That kid shining throughout the game and helping his team to victory was his boyfriend.

Despite the long lines, Seungjun returned with some popcorn and hot dogs and other unhealthy stadium food in hand. Yet, the five of them all quickly gorged on it and the food disappeared just before the teams returned onto the court and the third quarter began. They cheered when they saw Jihun, on their feet the instant they saw him step out again, though quickly laughed to themselves when Youjin nearly choked on his own food trying to chew and cheer at the same time. Seungjun slapped at his back, cackling while offering little help while his girlfriend fretted over his condition.

“This is why I don’t cheer…” Youjin coughed out the words and looked like death when he recollected himself.

Seungjun simply laughed some more and patted his roommate’s shoulder. “You know you like it.”

During the third quarter however, their cheers started to transition into groans and complaints. Jihun’s teammates made a few fouls and Hyeyeon was close to having a fit on the sidelines. The other team managed to catch up with some free throws and quickly took the lead for themselves. With only a few minutes left, Jihun’s team struggled to get it back and the whistle blew with them five points behind. It wasn’t so drastically different, but it was still alarming knowing how close the game had been this entire time. The whole team was overwhelmed with dread as they made their way back to the bench. Though, Hyeyeon looked the most worried of them all. She paced back and forth in front of the benches, biting her thumbnail and stopping at one end with a hand on her hip. A few times she glanced over at the spot Inseong had yet to move from and seemed to be considering the option. To Seungjun’s relief however, she called a few different players in and had them all huddle up to discuss a better plan. When the team made their way back onto the court and Jihun was still clearly in the game did Seungjun realize how much his heart had been racing. He was worried Inseong would be put in to save them, though now it was clear just how stubborn that coach was. 

Seungjun was grateful to her, though the rest of the stadium sure wasn’t. Most were disappointed they had yet to see Inseong come out, ignorant to the probation put on him just days prior. They’d probably all sat here thinking Hyeyeon was saving him for the final quarter, but as he remained on the bench while the others found their positions, they started to show their anger and frustration through some curses and despair. Then, Seungjun felt sorry for the coach. She’d only just come back to the team and now she had to deal with everyone’s anger at her decisions. At least she was tough enough already to not show any concern for the people in the stands. Winning was a priority, but she wasn’t one to go back on her word, it seemed.

And soon the other team’s luck and confidence began to wear thin. With a slightly new strategy centered around Heejun’s quickness across the court, Jihun’s team caught up inch by inch. With only a few minutes left, their team was only down by two points. That is, until Jihun managed to score a three-pointer again, causing the whole stadium to erupt in cheers. He high-fived Heejun as they rushed to the other side of the court, Heejun much more overjoyed and in disbelief than Jihun. With about a minute left, the other team scrambled to make their way over and shoot, though in all their impatience it had missed. Heejun caught the rebound and spared no seconds in getting back to the other side. Some strong defense had stepped in his way and on instinct, Heejun threw the ball to the left, right where Jihun had managed to slip by any other defense. Jihun took the shot in a rush and after a few rings around the basket, the ball sunk into the net with that sweet sound of the buzzer going off seconds later. 

They were only three points ahead, but Jihun’s team did it. They won, and Seungjun along with nearly everyone else in the stadium stood and roared in applause. Jihun stood there in disbelief, as if his body had done everything on its own without him thinking. Heejun and a few others rushed at him, tackling him into a big hug, mouths hung open as they screamed in joy. Heejun clung onto Jihun as they tried making it back to the bench and toward the coach to celebrate, practically sobbing from joy. Seungjun laughed at the sight as Jihun tried to calm the poor kid down, looking just about as excited and emotional himself. The whole team was swallowed into hugs and cries of joy. Everyone was hugging Jihun especially, and that made Seungjun happy beyond belief. The team who nearly ignored his entire existence a week ago was embracing the kid and chanting his name. Heejun broke away and hugged Inseong, tears streamed down his face. Inseong laughed and wiped them away, patting his back while they joined the others. Seungjun watched with a small inkling of pity infecting his heart. This was initially going to be Inseong’s big moment and he lost it all to Jihun. Seungjun still didn’t really like the guy, but he had to admit he felt a little sorry for how sad his backside looked as the team left to the locker rooms.

While Youjin and Hyein already left to hang out with some of their friends, Seungjun and the girls waited outside the locker room again for the star of the night. The girls chatted excitedly, Seungjun staring down the door with a smile lingering across his lips. When Jihun finally came out, fresh from a shower in some old worn-out jeans and t-shirt, all three members of his fanclub rushed at the guy. The girls showered him in hugs, crushing him between them both while they rubbed at his wet hair and snuggled against his broad shoulders.

“You did it!” Dahye shouted and was practically squealing as she praised him. “You looked so cool out there! All those baskets… You won the whole game for us!”

Jihun blushed and huddled further into his shell at the sudden attention. Yet, he couldn’t stop smiling through his humility. “It wasn’t because of me. It was the team.” He joked, “I didn’t even think I was going to make that last basket to be honest.”

“Oh come on, you don’t have to be so humble. You’re a champion!” Yuji pinched his cheek between her fingers and Seungjun laughed at the sight from the side. It was like Jihun was being coddled by his two moms.

“Okay, okay.” Jihun giggled and tried squirming free. “Now could you let go? Someone might see…”

The two girls eyed each other and pouted in disappointment. Dahye still continued to brush through Jihun’s hair, fixing it for him while she asked, “Do you wanna go out and celebrate? It’s your night after all.”

Jihun blinked and fixed his gym bag over his shoulder after it’d been moved by the girls’ attack. “I thought we were all just going to celebrate tomorrow. At Heejun’s party.”

Dahye rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Yeah, he just wants the whole day for himself. Tonight is  _ your _ night. We should go out!”

Jihun smiled bashfully, humming before he looked to Seungjun in front of him for answers. Seungjun merely shrugged and signaled that it was up to him. Helpless as he was to Dahye’s whim, the younger boy eventually shook his head and declined. “I don’t want to ruin tomorrow. I’ll just drink with you guys then.”

Dahye and Yuji both pouted again and Yuji sighed. “You’re such a baby. You never want to have a drink with us.”

“He probably would if it was just him and Seungjun.” Dahye sneered and flashed a wink at Seungjun quiet on the side.

Seungjun laughed and defended himself. “Hey we barely drink together either.” He nodded toward the boy and slipped his hands into his pockets. “He just isn’t into drinking I guess. Not that I mind.” He joked, “Less money for me to spend buying him drinks.”

The girls giggled and the four of them left. Insistent on celebrating and having some fun tonight, Dahye and Yuji eventually parted to another bar with their other girl friends. Some rain started coming down by the time they got a cab and Seungjun and Jihun both thought that’d be a good idea for them as well. Seungjun called one up and it wasn’t long before they were both sitting in a dead quiet taxi with only the pitter patter of a light rain resounding in the car.

They stopped by Jihun’s first. Seungjun was more used to getting him home first anyway, but he didin’t expect the invitation Jihun gave him as he opened the door to leave. “You wanna come up? I have some beer in the fridge.”

Seungjun smirked, “Oh, so you are an alcoholic after all.”

Jihun rolled his eyes, but giggled at the comment nonetheless. Nothing else to do, and rather excited at the idea of seeing Jihun’s place finally, Seungjun agreed and paid the driver. The two of them ran inside, yelling about the rain that had only gotten harder now that they had just gotten to the apartment without any umbrellas to help them. Jihun led them both up the stairs and to his door, sifting through his keys for the right one until he pushed the door open, carefully entering. “Watch where you step.” He motioned toward the lines and piles of shoes on the ground and Seungjun raised his brow.

“For living alone you sure have a lot of shoes…” Seungjun was in disbelief at just how many there were. He wondered if the kid even wore all of them or if they were just here to collect dust and ward of intruders with the stink of feet.

Jihun laughed and slipped his current pair off, shrugging as he stepped further inside. “Hey, I’m a guy and I play sports.”

Nodding with an expression as if that explained everything perfectly, Seungjun gave him a thumbs up. “Gotcha.”

When he finally got inside, Seungjun only had to take one look around to get a feel for the place. The apartment was about the size of a decent hotel room, minus the queen sized beds and television. Instead there was a desk covered in books, papers, and a computer, an old twin-sized bed across the room beside the only window in the room, and a kitchen with an outdated fridge that even Jihun was taller than. He didn’t bother checking out the bathroom, but it’s not like he was really looking forward to whatever was in that cramped space either.

“Sorry for the mess. Finals week, you know?” Jihun joked and tried tidying up a few things in the way for two massive guys. There was a little fold-up table in the center of the room that he quickly put away, the little flower vase that was on top moved to the window sill instead.

“Well I can’t really complain. My desk went missing weeks ago. Haven’t seen it since the beginning of the semester.” Seungjun joked back and won a little laugh out of the boy. Seungjun beamed and eyed the kitchen. There were some post-it notes with reminders on the fridge, but he couldn’t read them from the spot in the apartment he glued his feet to.

Jihun headed into the kitchen and opened the fridge, calling back, “So you want anything? I don’t really know how good this beer is to be honest…”

Seungjun shook his head and declined, “It’s fine, I don’t need anything.” At that, Jihun shut the fridge and looked around the room as well. Clearly he wasn’t sure what he should talk about or show off to the guy. It wasn’t like there was anything really impressive about this place.

“You can make yourself comfortable. The bed sucks but… well it sucks.” The kid let out a stale laugh and moved to the closet, slipping off his jacket and hanging it with the loads of other clothes fit compact inside.

Seungjun sat himself on Jihun’s bed, testing the comfiness while bouncing up and down. The springs in the mattress squeaked in pain, and he quickly stopped. “It’s a lot nicer than Youjin’s but you should oil this thing sometimes.” With a small chuckle, Jihun looked over from his closet before shuffling over and joining him on the bed. Seungjun sunk a little further toward Jihun when the boy sat down, quickly scooting further away when their shoulders hit each other. “Sorry.” Seungjun muttered and situated himself better, leaning back on his hands.

“It’s fine. I told you this bed sucks.” Jihun joked and grinned at him, then looked back at the floor. They both avoided glances at the other and kept quiet while the ticking of a clock echoed throughout the silent room. Seungjun’s chest started to tighten up in the silence, his thoughts becoming louder and trying to convince himself to bring up when he wanted to say to the kid. Before he could, Jihun spoke up instead. “So it’s almost over, isn’t it? All of this.” His eyes flashed at the space between them both and he tried smiling through his bittersweet words. “I guess after the party tomorrow we’ll be done then?”

“Well…” Seungjun started and sat upright, staring at the floor as well while the words struggled to come out. “We’ll still be friends. I won’t just block you on my phone and erase every memory of you.” He joked about it, but all he wanted to say was how he couldn’t forget everything about Jihun even if he tried.

Jihun chuckled again, his airy voice making Seungjun’s chest prickle. “That’s nice. Thanks.” Kicking his foot out slightly, he brushed it against the floor and nodded to himself. “Really, thanks for everything you’ve done for me. You’ve helped me out a lot more than you think.” He smiled softly. “I liked the time we had together. As boyfriends I mean… Even if it wasn’t real.”

Smile quivering at the ends of his lips, Seungjun’s mind started spiraling with what to do or say. There was so much he wanted to tell Jihun, open and honest like Yuji had advised him earlier, and yet his body wouldn’t let him. His throat felt dry and his heartbeats felt like they were pounding against his ribs. Rubbing at his neck, the older boy cleared his throat and finally forced himself to say it.

“Jihun, I--”

“Can I--”

They both spoke at the same time and the tension dissipated for a moment. Glancing at one another, the two laughed a bit while Seungjun nodded toward the kid. “Go ahead.” Anything to delay his confession even more.

“Oh…” Jihun breathed in and out deeply, looking away while his ears tinted red. “I was just wondering… can I ask you for one favor?”

Seungjun eyed the kid up and down, confused at how nervous he looked all of a sudden. Jihun was back to rubbing at his knees, looking straight down at the floor as he bit his lip. Softly, Seungjun reached out and stopped one of his hands, holding it in his own in the process. “Don’t worry, it’s fine. Whatever it is, I’m fine with it.”

Jihun curled his fingers around Seungjun’s, palms getting sweaty with how nervous he was. Then, he looked up at Seungjun, straight in the eye, and asked, “Even if it’s to kiss you?”

Taken aback, Seungjun blinked and pulled his hand back to scratch at his face. Really, he was trying to hide any blush he hoped wasn’t visible at the moment. “Y-You mean… you want to kiss me?”

Jihun’s eyes looked to the side, away from Seungjun’s gaze while he explained. “I mean… once we’re just friends, I can’t really kiss you. That’d be weird.” His hands lingered in his lap while he tried laying everything on the table. “So I thought… I wanted to kiss you, before we’re ‘over’.” He used air quotes and quickly let his hands fall back into his lap just to fiddle with his fingers, dreading Seungjun’s rejection.

Yet, Seungjun couldn’t deny that he didn’t mind the idea. In fact, he never really thought about kissing Jihun until now. Seungjun’s eyes flicked toward the boy’s lips. They were a pale pink, plush-looking with the ends curled up in a way that made him so naturally cute.

“Nevermind. Forget I said that, it’s dumb.” Jihun fumbled over his words and retracted his favor. Waving his hands in front of him briefly, he covered his eyes from view and tried laughing the awkwardness off.

“Let’s do it.” Seungjun’s voice was low and soft, like an enticing velvet to Jihun beside him. “Go ahead. Might as well while we’re dating, right?” Seungjun let out a stale laugh as well, though his heart had hardly stopped racing either.

Jihun looked up and spun his head in shock to face the other. It took him a moment to really process and gain his beaings and soon he sat upright. “Are you serious? You want to?”

Seungjun’s eyes looked away and he rubbed at his own shoulder to try and keep himself grounded. “Well, you want to. So I’m fine with it.” It was still too nerve-wracking to try and admit he wanted to kiss Jihun as well now that it was brought up.

“Okay…” Jihun breathed in and tugged at the fabric of his pants, obviously still in disbelief and hesitant to really do it. “I’ll just do one, I won’t make you do more than that.” He reassured the other boy and put his palm to his chest. Breathing in once again, he exhaled and forced his nerves out of his body.

The two boys resituated themselves better, turned to face each other better on the bed. Seungjun leaned on his arm slightly behind him, fingers curled into the bed sheet while he tried to keep a straight face and collected mind. Jihun had one leg tucked under the other on the bed, fists balled at his knees. It was better than him rubbing at his knees, Seungjun thought. Then, Jihun started leaning in, eyeing Seungjun’s eyes staring straight back at him and the lips he was aiming for. Seungjun closed his eyes, the sight almost too much for him to really handle. And before he knew it, he felt Jihun’s breath against his face, their noses brushing and the most breathtaking moment of all; when Jihun’s lips met his own.

The feeling of those soft, plush lips pushed rough then gentle against his own reminded Seungjun of the first kiss they actually shared weeks ago. Back then Jihun was drunk and Seungjun was inconsiderate. Now, they were both clear-headed and wanting, needing. Jihun breathed into the other’s lips once he started to pull away. It had only been a short moment, but he felt that was enough, just like he promised. Seungjun on the other hand was hit with a sudden craving. He didn’t want to be left behind, alone, cold, apart from Jihun. He didn’t want to lose another opportunity when they had such little time left. Seungjun’s body was in a dilemma between pushing further and pulling back, though his hands quickly solved it for him. He was clear-headed, sure, but he definitely wasn’t acting rational when he reached out and cupped Jihun’s face in his hand, pulling them both back into a long, deep kiss.

Then they didn’t stop kissing. Jihun made little winces every time their lips broke apart and joined together again in bigger, sloppier kisses. The two moved on from little, hesitant pecks to breathing each other in with an insatiable hunger. Suddenly Seungjun pulled Jihun closer against him, leaving kisses all along the other’s jaw and neck. Jihun’s winces changed into hushed moans while his arms found themselves wrapped tight around Seungjun’s back and neck. The younger boy entered into a pant and stretched his neck to make more room for the other’s long, hungry sucks across his own skin. When Seungjun started to messily kiss at the skin blocked by the collar of his shirt, Jihun pulled his arms back and crossed them across his waist. Rolling up the hem of his shirt, the flushed boy broke away long enough to lift his shirt up and off his body. Neither knew where he tossed it or where it landed, but they couldn’t have cared less when just seconds later Seungjun pulled the boy close to him again and planted kisses all over his bare shoulder. 

Jihun wrapped his arms around Seungjun once more, fingers grazing over the nape of the other’s neck and pushing up into his hair. While his fingers massaged at Seungjun’s scalp, urging him to mark him more, Jihun exhaled a soft moan, “Hyung…” escaping his lips in such a way it drove Seungjun crazy. Though, Seungjun didn’t say a word back and looked up, panting himself and chest constricting in the heat and pleasure and excitement of it all. He needed air, breathing room, or a moment to really collect himself, but he refused to find it in giving their lips space. Instead, Seungjun tugged at his own shirt, yanking it off and tossing it aside as if in a rush. Jihun eyed his bare chest, which Seungjun honestly didn’t think highly of, though Jihun clearly did judging by the redness in his face.

Lunging back at the other’s lips, Jihun held Seungjun’s face and neck in his hands, desperately pressing against his skin while he breathed in more kisses. Seungjun let out a low groan, hands over his pants and fiddling with the button and zipper until he lost his balance and fell onto his back. Moving his hips and legs properly onto the mattress, Seungjun finally undid his pants before being swallowed into Jihun’s lips again. Jihun followed suit, knees digging into the mattress as he climbed over the other boy. Seungjun propped a leg up, spreading his legs further when Jihun placed one knee by his hip and the other just under his raised thigh. Then they finally took a moment to breath, huffing out hot air while Jihun pushed his hair back and slowly crept over Seungjun’s body. Jihun took his turn kissing along Seungjun’s jaw and neck, all over his chest while his own hands moved down his chest and attempted to slide Seungjun’s pants down just a bit more. Seungjun’s fingertips ghosted over Jihun’s sides, the bizarre yet sensual curves he had very apparent. The kid’s waist was so slim, but he still showed some definition and muscle across his stomach and arms. Jihun’s arms thinned out at the wrists, tempting Seungjun to grab ahold of them and pin Jihun down himself, but then the kid nestled his face into Seungjun’s neck and moaned when his hand slid further down the older’s pants.

“You’re so big… Seungjun…” He whispered and breathed into Seungjun’s chest. Seungjun melted and his heart felt like it’d burst at those words. He never thought himself to be a dirty person, but he was more shocked and affected by how horny Jihun was all of a sudden. Moreso, he was affected by the boy’s fingers smoothing over the aching bulge in his underwear. Seungjun helplessly slid his own hands down Jihun’s spine, his touch making Jihun’s back dip into an arch and winning some more airy moans out of the kid between the pecks down his own chest. Hand pushing past the waistband of Jihun’s pants, Seungjun pushed the fabric past the boy’s ass, grabbing a rough handful when Jihun’s lips and hand put him on the edge.

Before he realized it, Jihun was trailing kisses down Seungjun’s body, sliding away from Seungjun’s grip while the older boy’s hands laid limp over his own chest and across the bed in pleasure. The younger boy swallowed hard before pulling back, panting as he unbuttoned his pants and hastily tugged them off. It was difficult given his position, but he managed to strip to just his boxer briefs and Seungjun groaned. He looked too fucking beautiful, Seungjun thought.

Jihun looked down at Seungjun, the long-time object of his affection, with half-lidded eyes. The younger’s whole face was beet red, his chest glistening under the crappy lighting in the room before he leaned over Seungjun’s hips. Wincing into the few kisses he scattered around Seungjun’s lower gut, he cautiously moved the elastic of the older’s underwear lower. Seungjun moaned lowly at the sudden feeling of cold air hitting his hot pelvis, then again at the hot air Jihun breathed onto it. Without a second to waste, Jihun spread his own legs across the bed, attempting to find a more comfortable position over Seungjun’s groin while also satisfying his own erection momentarily. Then Seungjun was sent spiraling; Jihun’s fingers wrapped around his shaft and wet lips taking Seungjun in. 

The younger’s moans around Seungjun dragged across his whole body. Seungjun let out longer, louder noises as the boy’s tongue swept past him, Jihun’s head bobbing up and down at a slow, amateurish pace when Seungjun finally dared to look down. Seungjun threw his head back against the mattress, squeezing his eyes shut while the ecstasy overtook him. Bringing a hand to his forehead, the older boy brushed some hair out of his face and pressed his warm palm to his forehead sticky with sweat. He couldn’t believe he was actually getting sucked off by Kim Jihun right now. Seungjun swallowed hard and whined at the feeling, his head hot and thoughts suffocating the longer it went on. This wasn’t what he’d planned on happening, it wasn’t what he wanted to happen when he walked into Jihun’s apartment. Now his conscience and fears started weighing on his mind again, repeating how selfish he was for letting this happen, for taking advantage of Jihun when he still hadn’t sorted things out with him. Was getting this intimate really okay when Seungjun wasn’t even sure if he could commit to it in the end? He wasn’t even sure if he’d really accepted he was gay yet. Seungjun was still in the middle of figuring himself out and a loud part of his mind knew this wouldn’t help. Instead, he felt guiltier with every feeling of pleasure that spread across his body.

“Jihun…” He panted and pushed a hand down his own body. “Wait…”

But Jihun merely moaned and continued.

“Jihun, stop…” Seungjun sat up and reached out for the kid’s shoulder to get his attention. “Stop!”

Jihun let go and lifted his head, little pants leaving his swelling, pink lips. His flushed cheeks, hungry eyes, and messy hair all made Seungjun’s gut twist up in want, but his mind was still clouded. The younger boy swiped his tongue across his lips, looking more and more confused the longer Seungjun didn’t say anything. Really, Seungjun had no idea what to say. He was just getting a blowjob from the kid he’d used and manipulated and lied to and hurt for weeks. The kid was sitting there waiting for an answer, but Seungjun couldn’t give him one. He loved Jihun but the fear he realized that had been holding Seungjun back was whether Jihun really needed his love at all. Like an idiot, Seungjun got up when that concern became clear in his head. The older boy rashly pulled up his pants, grabbing whatever shirt was closest whether it was his or not, and rushed out the door.

“Seungjun?” He heard Jihun call out in complete confusion behind him, but the older boy didn’t stop. Instead he ran away even faster, not even bothering to call a cab or wait for a bus. He just headed straight home on foot, the humid evening air from an earlier rain only stifling him more.

As soon as he stepped inside, he kicked off his shoes in anger and combed his fingers roughly through his hair several times. Finally, he exploded. Without even thinking about whether Youjin was home or not, he turned around and banged his fist on the door ten, twenty times, the sound like hammers nailing into a wall. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” He cursed and screamed at how childish and stupid he was. He knew this would only hurt Jihun more, and yet he still ran out on him. Why couldn’t he just say those stupid words? Why couldn’t he just tell Jihun that he loved him? Why did he have to be so confused about everything? Seungjun sunk to the floor in front of the door, sitting on the step that led away from the entryway and buried his head into his arms. Everything was a mess now and he didn’t know if he really could pick up the pieces this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um fun fact my doc for this has finally hit 150 pages! I want to die.
> 
> Also... it'll probably be another two chapters until it's over. OTL I meant to fit the birthday party in this chapter but it'll be the next chapter because this one's 12k already and LOL I ALWAYS WRITE TOO MUCH.  
> I know some people like this because it's not too rated so I hope you're not mad about the sex stuff happening in this. I tried to tone it down so it wasn't straight up smut but it's hard to censor a lot lmao. It's still stuff I felt needed to be in this for a long time now, I literally had this in my head like months ago but I'm so slow so I only just got to it today yay!
> 
> I just want everyone to know I see all your comments on here and the sudden burst of comments I got on my curiouscat and I'm???? crying???? Thank you so much for the nice things I'm bad at replying but I'm touched when you say so many nice things about this mess of a story lmao ㅠㅠ


	10. Time's Arrow

The sky was a clear pale blue, not a single cloud in sight. Ears filled with water, Seungjun floated on the unsteady waves while his own shallow breath was the only thing he could hear at the moment. He laid there limp, half-swallowed by the ocean and half-exposed to the dry air and cloudless sky above. The boy wasn’t even sure what he was thinking about then, just staring off into the vast, uneasy space above while his breath and the rocking from small waves under him evened out. Soon though, he closed his eyes. He couldn’t see the sun from where he was but staring up there made his eyes feel like they were burning. Then his ears started to hurt, filled with too much water for too long and he pushed his legs down, easily finding the ground below the water and standing. He was in a few feet deep as the water came up to just under his chest, hardly bothered where most people would probably start tip-toeing across the sand below.

Rubbing at his eyes with his coolled fingers, Seungjun quickly dunked below the water and came back up in seconds. A quick rinse to keep the heat away, Seungjun sniffled and pushed his hair back with a slick motion. The dry air would soon leave it a wavy, salty mess, but he could always go back in the water and dunk his head again. Right now, he was more concerned with the figure across from him on the edge of the beach, yelling out to him. “Seungjun! Get over here before it melts!”

Jihun was standing there, calling out to him with two ice cream cones in hand. Walking toward land, Seungjun’s legs were hit with some stronger waves and the foam after tried desperately to drag him back in with the high tide. Still, he pushed through and beamed at the other boy handing him a large ice cream cone. “Why’d you get me some? I thought you just wanted a popsicle.” He laughed a bit as they moved back to their towel sitting on some hot, dry sand further back. They only had one big towel to share, but at least their umbrella helped cool off any sand with its shade for any limbs that ended up hanging off the edges.

With a nonchalant shrug, Jihun sat with his knees up to his chest, arms crossed over his knees while he licked at the sweet treat. “Just thought you’d want something too. It’s hot out here.”

Seungjun bit out a big chunk of his own and grinned at the refreshing taste. His lips were already starting to get sticky when Seungjun leaned to his side and pecked Jihun’s lips. His lips were sticky too, sweet like the giggle that he won out of the boy. “What was that for?” Jihun blushed slightly and licked at his ice cream again when one side started to drip a bit.

Humming, Seungjun looked up and away at the sky just past the rim of their umbrella. “Nothing really. Just a thank you I guess.”

“What a weird way to say thanks.” Jihun laughed a bit more and leaned on his knees, staring out at the tide coming and going. “You can just say how you feel instead of kissing me, you know.”

The older boy nodded, lapping at his own ice cream. Jihun was even thoughtful enough to get him chocolate instead of vanilla like he always preferred. “Okay, then I feel happy.”

Jihun glanced at him then went back to watching the waves crash. “Why’s that?”

“I don’t know…” Seungjun paused and bit another chunk out, his treat disappearing at incredible speed. “I guess because I get to spend all summer with you instead of being cooped up at home all alone.”

The younger boy blinked and sat upright, reaching out for Seungjun’s free hand and holding it close to his chest. “I thought the same thing.” He smiled from ear to ear before dropping their hands between both their laps. “But see? I told you it’s better to just say how you feel. Because now I’m happy too.”

Seungjun nodded and hid his smile in the little nibbles he took at the cone. Digging his feet into the sand, he curled his toes and rubbed his thumb over Jihun’s hand in his own. Leaning over, Seungjun rested his head on Jihun’s shoulder and finished off his dessert. Staring out at the empty sky, he casted his eyes down toward the water sparkling with reflections of the light they hid from under their umbrella. It was quiet minus the sound of waves crashing against the shore and not a soul was in sight. It was just the two of them and Seungjun felt at peace.

“I love you Jihun.” Seungjun’s voice was crisp and clear as he professed his feelings again.

Jihun giggled and let go of Seungjun’s hand to pinch at his bare thigh. Though, it didn’t last long since Seungjun was still wet and covered in sand and the feeling was gross to the kid. Jihun was in his swimsuit as well, though he had yet to venture into the water with Seungjun. Dry as the air and the sand, Jihun grinned and licked at his ice cream dripping from the sides all across his hand in neglect.

“I would hope so. You’re my boyfriend after all.” Jihun sneered until Seungjun reached up and pushed the cone further into Jihun’s face.

Seungjun chuckled and sat up, pointing at Jihun with a smirk. “That’s what you get for not saying it back.”

The younger boy sat there stunned, mouth and nose marked with vanilla ice cream and his cone cracking and breaking in his hand from Seungjun’s force. Glaring at the other, Jihun brought what was left of his ice cream to Seungjun’s face for revenge, ensuing in a struggle between the two. The whole time though, they laughed and made playful threats at each other. Seungjun gripped tight onto Jihun’s wrists, keeping him at bay despite the kid’s overwhelming strength and stubbornness to rub his entire cone in Seungjun’s nose. A little more struggling and soon Seungjun found himself pinning Jihun down, the cone tossed aside in the action. Now he was on top of the kid, letting out little short, airy laughs as they both caught their breath.

Jihun exhaled, chest moving up and down slowly while he laid limp under the other boy. His smile faded the longer he stared up at Seungjun, legs brushing slightly against the guy’s thighs around him. Seungjun felt breathless. Sand was scattered across Jihun’s dark hair, the ice cream from just moments ago already melting across his face into small white streaks around his mouth and down the line of his jaw. It was a mesmerizing sight yet also helplessly provocative. Seungjun moved closer and started leaving a line of kisses up Jihun’s jaw, following the trail toward the other’s mouth. Sinking further toward the boy’s body, Seungjun felt his whole body burning up again, as if the sun was beaming right on his back. But it wasn’t because the two of them were hidden away under this umbrella on this desolate beach, alone and wrapped up in each other. Seungjun’s lips became stickier the longer he kissed at Jihun’s face. He got a few glances at the kid below and only became more excited at the sweet smiles he saw between each peck.

“You must really like kissing me, huh?” Jihun mumbled between giggles and kisses.

Seungjun smirked into his next peck at the corner of Jihun’s lips. “I’m not going to stop until you say it.” A laugh breezed across Jihun’s lips before Seungjun carefully joined them with his own. They easily lost themselves into the longer, romantic kisses they shared, Seungjun only speaking up again moments later, “What? You really don’t love me back?” He smirked into another deep kiss, hands loosening their grip over Jihun’s wrists and dragging down his arms.

Pulling away long enough to take in a sharp breath, Jihun smirked back. “No… I just want you to keep going.” Once his hands were free, the younger boy wrapped them around Seungjun’s neck, locking the other in place on top of him. With a cheeky grin, Seungjun obeyed his wish and kissed him more roughly, teeth nearly clashing from how riled up he was getting. They both kept their eyes shut and just enjoyed each other’s lips, tongues, hands, hips, bodies, and everything else that sent an overwhelming sensation through Seungjun’s body. He looked down for a brief moment and was only affected more by the sight of Jihun; tangled hair, bright red cheeks, and glossy eyes and lips that mouthed the words that sent Seungjun soaring.

Then Seungjun fluttered his eyelids open, everything around in his bedroom taking a moment to become clear in his vision. His whole body felt somewhat numbed, but his heart was beating like crazy. Was it all just a dream? Now he was annoyed. Why did he have to have such a good, convincing dream after what had been the worst night in his life. Glaring at his phone to check the time, Seungjun groaned. It was already past noon and Heejun’s party would be getting started in just a few hours. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to go anymore, if he should go at all, though he also couldn’t just _not_ go either. He’d made a promise and already got a gift. Not to mention, he might be able to talk and sort things out with Jihun while he was there. Assuming, of course, that the guy was even going to the party still. Judging from his lack of messages or alerts on his phone when he’d checked, the kid sure didn’t bother to check up on him or demand any answers as to why he ran out on him like that.

Groaning some more, Seungjun rolled over to his other side to bury the thoughts. He could barely even get to sleep last night because of his conscience and guilt, so now he was much more tired than he should’ve been for someone waking up in the afternoon. Though, he quickly froze up in the middle of resituating himself to try and get a bit more sleep once he felt something strange under the covers. Seungjun’s eyes lit up at the troubling familiarity of that feeling. Briefly throwing the sheets off himself, Seungjun glanced down and then instantly looked away. He covered himself again with the covers and sighed, completely exhausted. He might’ve tuned out from his and Jihun’s heated moment last night mentally, but his body clearly didn’t follow. The guy had only just woken up and now he had to hurry and take a shower and do his laundry. He didn’t want his underwear to be ruined after all.

Seungjun opted to take a cold shower today. It was probably also the longest he’d ever taken before. He stayed under the water, thinking over everything and replaying his mistake of last night again and again. Jihun’s voice calling out his name echoed in his ears. He should’ve just turned around and confessed and maybe now he’d be at Jihun’s place snuggled next to the kid in that tiny, worn-out bed of his. Instead, he was in this cold shower, fingers pruning and Youjin banging on the door.

“Hey! Could you wrap it up? The water bill’s going to be expensive!” His roommate yelled out from the other side of the door. Seungjun quickly rinsed his hair and shut off the water, wrapping a towel around himself before he opened the door to face Youjin. His roommate looked him up and down, arms crossed as if ready to scold him for being irresponsible, but he simply sighed and let him off. “Were you covered in oil or something? You’ve never taken that long before.” The guy headed back to his room while Seungjun forced out a smile like everything was alright as usual. He didn’t want to make Youjin be his impromptu therapist again about something so personal and hard to express.

After a few hours to get dressed, laze around, wrap his gift, and stare at his phone for any new messages, Seungjun finally pulled himself together enough to head off to the party. Before he stepped out the door he was stopped by Youjin heading to the kitchen for a snack. “Oh? Where you headed?” He disappeared into the kitchen and Seungjun heard the fridge open in the distance. “Meeting up with Jihun?”

Seungjun tensed up but quickly had it subside. He didn’t fight back like he usually would toward Youjin’s comments and finished tying his shoes. “No, just going to Heejun’s birthday party. You coming?” He looked back once he stood up and opened the door, Youjin standing in the living room with a cup of yogurt in hand and a spoonful in his mouth already.

Shaking his head, Youjin slipped the spoon out of his mouth and waved it around in the air while he spoke, “Just hanging around here for the day. Hyein might come over.” Seungjun was more preoccupied with how the little bits of yogurt on the corners of Youjin’s lips reminded him of that dream this morning. Embarrassed, Seungjun looked down and tried to block the images out of his mind. He didn’t need to be thinking of his stupid wet dream while Youjin was talking.

His roommate shrugged, “I’m not too thrilled by the idea of getting drunk with a bunch of jocks.” He tried to make it sound like a sarcastic joke, but realized Seungjun seemed lost in thought. Scooping out another spoonful of yogurt, Youjin headed toward the couch and called back, “Just stay safe! Call me if you need anything.”

Seungjun frowned and rolled his eyes. “Okay Mom…” He couldn’t help but smile at Youjin’s warmth, glad to have one stable thing in his life at the moment. Shutting the door behind him, Seungjun dragged himself and his simple present toward Heejun’s place.

Rather than an apartment like Seungjun or Jihun, Heejun lived in a small, old house a bunch of guys rented out on the skirts of the city. It seemed nice enough, but the amount of people hanging around already drinking, eating, and mingling just outside the house itself was intimidating. It made Seungjun rethink just how popular Heejun was, until he remembered the party doubled as a celebration for the entire team and their championship win. All the guys must’ve been here and invited their friends who invited their friends and now they all crammed inside the house booming with music. Seungjun was more of an extrovert than an introvert himself, but even this kind of get-together was stifling for him.

Making his way inside the house, Seungjun looked all around from the entryway for any signs of people he knew. Unfortunately the first person he recognized was Inseong hanging around on a couch in what seemed to be the living room, surrounded by a bunch of other guys and a few girls all having a good time. Stubborn, Seungjun ignored that side completely and looked over toward another room crowded with a lot more people. Despite his better judgement, he squeezed through to hopefully find another familiar face in the crowd.

“Ugh! What the hell!” A girl called out in surprise and disgust, her voice loud and close enough to Seungjun that he could actually hear her over the music blasting within the room. Through the few spaces between the people between them, Seungjun recognized the girl to be Dahye and found his spirits lifted. She was muttering a few other complaints to herself while she looked down at her arm, dripping onto the floor with what was probably once someone’s drink. Though it was already much too crowded, Seungjun squeezed by and reached out, waving toward the girl to get her attention if his shouting didn’t put him on her radar.

“Dahye! Over here!” Seungjun wiggled his hand some more, holding the gift he still had clutched in his hands close to his chest. It was the only way to protect precious cargo in a situation like this it seemed.

The girl blinked and looked around a bit before spotting Seungjun approaching. She was in a small corner of the room, next to a shelf where she’d put her own drink down next to several other empty bottles, cups, and cans. No wonder the room was bustling with people, everyone was desperate to get a free drink from this side. “Seungjun! You came!” She gleamed and beckoned him over in excitement, a complete three-sixty from her disgruntled expression just seconds ago. Luckily there was some room for a massive guy like Seungjun nearby as he finally got close enough to properly hear her.

“What happened?” Seungjun nodded toward the girl’s arm awkwardly held up before her, glossy from the spill.

Dahye looked down and pointed back another way with her thumb and a frown on her face. “Some guy spilled his drink all over me. Probably wasted already.” She rolled her eyes at the implication and leaned in closer to the other boy. “Can we go in the hall? I feel like I’m suffocating in here!” She shouted and Seungjun appreciated the effort she went to to get him to understand. He was having enough trouble hearing his own thoughts in this chaos, let alone anyone else.

The two of them moved into a hallway around the corner, Seungjun’s ears already saved from early deafness from just a wall. There were only a handful of people hanging around here, most of which were guys trying to hit on girls, but Seungjun was practically ignored while Dahye attempted to clean off her arm. She swiped some napkins as they left to the hall, dabbing the wad of them across her entire arm. Some of the alcohol was already dried and sticky on her skin, though she was content with getting most of it off for now when she finally looked back to Seungjun with a wide grin. “As good as it’s gonna get I guess…” She looked past the boy, down the hall, and then back at Seungjun with a raised brow. “Did Jihun come with you?”

Suddenly Seungjun felt like he’d rather be ignored longer than be reminded of Jihun and what happened last night. Body tense, the tall boy shrugged and told her honestly, “I didn’t hear from him all day. I thought he’d be here already.” Okay, maybe it wasn’t completely honest, but it was truthful in some ways.

Dahye pouted and crossed her arms. Though she quickly felt the stickiness of her one arm and rubbed at her clean arm at her side instead. “I hope he comes. I haven’t heard from him since yesterday.” She let out an exaggerated sigh and shook her head, “That guy is always trying to get out of stuff like this. Sometimes I think he’s afraid of people.”

He knew she meant it as a joke, but Seungjun couldn’t help but feel somewhat guilty and sad for Jihun at the thought. The kid sure was sensitive and kept to himself often, so a huge party like this was probably something he found intimidating. Hell, Seungjun sure did. Plus, after Seungjun’s screw-up last night he wasn’t even sure if Jihun was in any mood to party. Then the guilt hit him even harder as he thought of how he probably ruined what was the greatest night of Jihun’s life with his win and his kiss.

Seungjun swallowed as his throat dried up, licking at his lips as the memory ghosted over them. He started to wonder if that was also Jihun’s first real kiss that Seungjun had selfishly stolen away.

“Hey, you okay?” Dahye interrupted his thoughts and waved at him, leaning it a bit closer to get a better look at his troubled expression. With a soft shove at his arm, she comforted him, “Don’t worry, he’ll show up if you’re here.” She grinned so innocently and sweetly despite Seungjun’s worsening condition in his mind. She meant well, though, and Seungjun tried smiling back. He didn’t want to make her anymore concerned with what was going on with him.

Then, Seungjun looked up and down the hall as well as if searching for someone. “What about Yuji? You two didn’t come together?”

The girl laughed and looked behind her, toward a deeper part of the house. “She’s here. It’s not like we have to be glued together all the time though.” Sliding her hands into her back pockets, Dahye stretched out her back and breathed in deep while music and chattering carried on around them. It was probably only awkward now that they were in a spot where everything was a bit quieter, meaning they had nothing to distract themselves during moments of silence like this. Finally, Dahye lit up and clapped her hands together in a realization. “I left my drink back there!” She started off toward the crowded room again before looking back at Seungjun. “I’ll be right back, you want anything?”

Though, Seungjun shook his head and declined. “I’m good!” He shouted back when the girl soon disappeared into that pit of bodies struggling to get a drink. Seungjun actually wasn’t too hopeful that he’d see her again and it was fine. He wasn’t planning on clinging to her the whole party anyway. What he really wanted to do was find a place to put this present already so he wouldn’t look like some idiot holding a neon-colored box during the whole party. Seungjun looked around, leaning against the wall for some time before forcing himself to walk around some more. Fingers tapping against the gift he lugged against his stomach, Seungjun peeked around another doorway, discovering the kitchen. More importantly, he discovered some snacks and food laid out on the counter that was already halfway gone. He swore he felt the gift vibrate in his own hands at how much his stomach rumbled just seeing the food. Without a second thought, Seungjun rushed over and set the present down nearby, grabbing a plate and piling the chips and noodles and veggies high. Seungjun crooned at the taste as soon as he dug in, stuffing his mouth full to the point he could barely chew.

“I see you made it.” A voice spoke up from behind him and Seungjun jumped, nearly choking on his food. Swallowing, he coughed a bit and thumped at his chest a few times to clear his throat. Once he looked over he realized it was Heejun who startled him, now looking a little apologetic for nearly killing Seungjun. “Don’t die on me! I don’t want to remember my birthday as the day I killed someone.” He joked and flashed a wide grin at the taller boy who’d finally regained his composure. Seungjun motioned to put his plate down until Heejun stopped him and insisted he keep eating. “No, it’s fine. I need help getting rid of all this food anyway.” He sighed and nodded toward the wall where the room crowded with guests was just behind. “Of course, everyone’s offering a helping hand when it comes to beer. Not as many people are as optimistic about some crackers and veggies.”

Seungjun laughed a bit at that comment and swallowed what was left in his mouth. Swiping the back of his hand over his lips, he cleaned up any crumbs or sauces before speaking. “Oh yeah, happy birthday Heejun. It is today right?”

Heejun lit up and held a hand to his chest as if he were touched deeply by his words. “Thank you. It’s so nice that someone noticed.” He grinned and relaxed more, folding his hands behind his neck and tilting his head back as if he was exhausted. “Honestly it was a bad idea having this party on my birthday. Everyone only came because of our win rather than for me.” He frowned and shut his eyes, expression sad as he let out little fake sobs. “Hardly anyone even got me any presents…”

“Oh!” Seungjun lit up and stood straight, motioning toward the box on the counter nearby since his hands were full. “I actually meant to give you that.”

Heejun glanced over and, to Seungjun’s surprise, his eyes grew even wider. Quickly snatching the gift into his hands, Heejun made the same touched expression and fake sobs from earlier, making the taller boy chuckle into his next bite of food. “For me? I can’t believe it.” Soon enough he laughed to himself, unable to keep up the act while seeing Seungjun laugh. “Really, thanks. I’ll open it later with the others.”

“It’s not much.” Seungjun shrugged and grabbed a huge chunk of noodles to shove into his mouth.

“Is it from both of you?” Heejun shook it around a bit near his ear to try and guess what it was.

The taller boy blinked and put the cluster of noodles back onto his plate. He shook his head and grinned to keep it from being too awkward like it was with Dahye. “No, just me.”

Heejun nodded, distracted by the present in his hands when he asked, “Where is Jihun anyway? He’s the only one of us not here yet.”

With a rough shrug, shoulders barely able to cooperate with how stiff his body had become at the mention of Jihun, Seungjun replied, “I’m not sure exactly. I haven’t reached him all day.” Really, he didn’t bother sending any sort of message to the guy. He could hardly dare to open their texts without feeling miserable and tormented about what he should say. He knew he should’ve tried saying something, anything, but his mind was just completely lost at this point. In fact, he wasn’t even sure why he mentioned that to Heejun at all.

“Yeah, I sent him a text earlier and he still hasn’t even read it.” Heejun rolled his eyes. “His excuse better be because he’s out getting me a present. We can’t celebrate without or champion point guard, you know?” Heejun eyed Seungjun’s unaffected expression and cocked a brow. Nodding toward the guy, he looked down at his plate, then grilled Seungjun with his intense eyes again. “You should give him a call. You’ve got to be more worried than I am.”

Seungjun snapped out of his daze and repeated, “Worried?”

“Yeah. I’m worried he won’t come because he doesn’t want to be around us after what happened.” The smaller boy sighed and held the gift between his arm and his hip like it were another basketball.

Pursing his lip, Seungjun looked to the side and was reminded of what happened. Not the fighting or shaming from the team a week ago, but the things he did himself just last night. Hesitantly, the taller boy put his half-eaten plate down and sat at the table next to him. It was getting cold anyway. “I don’t know, there might be someone he doesn’t want to see right now…”

The chair opposite him screeched across the floor as Heejun took a seat as well. Resting his head on the top of the present, he tapped his fingers across the tabletop and hummed. “Is it Inseong?” He stared right through Seungjun like he was ready for a spontaneous confession. Seungjun wasn’t thinking of Inseong at all, but he didn’t stop Heejun from assuming otherwise. He didn’t want to involve Heejun in the problems only he and Jihun knew about. “They seemed fine enough at the game and practice, but I don’t really know Jihun like you do.” He smirked and let out a short breath. “Though I do know Inseong. I see him every day and night so it’s kinda impossible not to.” When Seungjun flashed a little smile at that, Heejun snatched onto it and added with such a softened tone, “He seemed genuinely sorry to Jihun. Maybe they’re not the best of friends but he doesn’t have anything against the guy.”

Seungjun laughed to himself at that comment, as if what Heejun was saying was completely redundant. “Yeah, it wasn’t personal at all.”

Though this time, Heejun didn’t fight back or try to defend Inseong anymore and simply sighed, an earnest expression of sadness in his eyes now. “I can’t change your opinion of him, you’re just going to have to talk to Inseong himself and hear him out.” Grinning wide and somewhat eerily, the younger boy proposed a solution. “I could get him right now if you want.” He winked at Seungjun, making it clear that he knew well-enough that that was the last thing Seungjun wanted to do at the moment.

“I’ll pass.” Seungjun mumbled and pulled his plate over, picking at the food but not actually eating it. It just gave him an excuse to not have to be sucked into Heejun’s powerful gazes any longer. “As for Jihun… He’s probably okay. He’s surprisingly tough mentally.” A single laugh escaped him at the thought. Was he trying to convince Heejun things were alright between Jihun and Inseong, or himself that Jihun would just get over what Seungjun did? Of course, he believed it to be the latter option and only tore himself down more inside.

Standing up, Heejun shrugged and stretched his arms slightly. “Okay, I’ll leave Jihun to you then. You’re probably the only one who can convince him to hurry up and get here anyway.” Snapping out his hand, the boy nabbed a few crackers from Seungjun’s plate and started nibbling at them as he turned to leave. “And don’t be so down in here by yourself! It’s a party, have a drink, talk to people… do whatever you want.” Seungjun took a moment to let his words sink in before returning the gesture with a small smile. Then in a moment the kid and Seungjun’s present were gone, lost somewhere in the crowds of people swarming around the house.

Staring down at his food, at a complete loss for any appetite by now, Seungjun eventually got up and threw the rest away. After some convincing and time to dwell on Heejun’s suggestions, the boy finally mustered up the confidence to pull out his phone. He still didn’t have any new messages, but it didn’t stop him this time from scrolling over ‘ _My Husband_ ’ in his contacts. Just when he was going to try and call the kid a few people joined Seungjun inside the kitchen, chatting among themselves and ravaging the snacks left out. Seungjun bit his lip and held back from the call, slipping away unnoticed with ease and into the hall still buzzing with chatter and music. Reluctant to make a call surrounded by such noise, Seungjun sought out a quiet place. He stopped at the end of some stairs along the wall, peeking over the railing and up at the dark hall seemingly vacant. Steps creaking under his feet, he looked around briefly to see if anyone noticed or even cared he was heading into a part of the house he probably didn’t belong. Luckily, no one even batted an eye his way and he made it upstairs and into a secluded room without any trouble. Phone to his chest as he closed the door behind him, he peeled it away from himself and stared at the number on the screen. Now that it was perfectly quiet, a numbed bass from some music the only thing passing through the bedroom’s walls, it was harder to press the call button. His mind had more room for more pessimistic thoughts. It would’ve been a lie if he said he wasn’t worried about Jihun at the moment, how he was managing after what transpired the night before. Seungjun could perfectly picture the kid alone in his tiny apartment, curled up to himself and hiding away from the rest of the world, from a guy who couldn’t make up his mind and was just further confusing the poor kid. The thought suddenly frustrated Seungjun enough to make the call. If anything, at least talking to the kid a bit would keep him from being totally alone, Seungjun convinced himself.

The dial tone rang several times, each one more draining than the last on Seungjun’s spirit and fragile hopes. Eventually a voicemail message answered, nearly giving Seungjun a heart attack from how sudden the woman’s voice followed up the ringing. The phone beeped, signaling for him to leave a message but Seungjun hastily hung up. It was probably best to leave a message for Jihun, maybe even apologize or try to explain himself in it, but as he sat on the nearby bed to think over what to say, a creaking startled him. Eyes snapping upward from their fixed position on the floor, Seungjun froze up at the figure who’d just walked into the room. Despite just telling Heejun the guy was the last thing on his mind, Seungjun was now face to face with Inseong all alone.

Inseong blinked as he shut the door, paused in his step in front of the exit. Now Seungjun couldn’t even try escaping if he wanted to, which he desperately did at that moment. “Oh… Didn’t know you were up here.” He looked around the room as if scouting out for anyone else he didn’t notice before barging in. “Why are you in Heejun’s room?”

Seungjun avoided his eyes and looked back down at his phone, thumbing over the black screen. “Had to make a call… And you?” He was trying not to be too blunt about his terrible impression of Inseong, though his annoyed tone already said he could hardly stand having a conversation with him.

Inseong rolled his eyes and went over to a dresser nearby. “Heejun sent me up to get something for him.” Seungjun wasn’t sure whether to pin this coincidental meeting on the sly kid’s hidden agenda, but he couldn’t help cursing Heejun a bit in his mind regardless. He watched Inseong’s backside as the guy rummaged through a few drawers for something specific, glancing a few times at the door across from him. He thought hard about leaving abruptly without another word, ignoring Inseong completely and slithering out of this tense air about them, until Inseong shut another drawer and sighed. “I know you’re probably cursing me out in your head right now.” He turned around and leaned back against the dresser, hands gripping tight onto the edge and one leg crossed over the other. Seungjun froze up in his spot on the bed, looking over to see Inseong avoiding his gaze as well. The guy’s nose wasn’t swollen by now, but was still bruised pretty bad, the dark circles under his eyes plenty apparent. “I’m still mad at you too, but you should know I don’t have anything against Jihun.”

Letting out a little chuckle, Seungjun leaned on his knees and put his phone back into his pocket. “You know what’s funny? Heejun said the same exact thing earlier.” The taller boy peered at Inseong and scoffed, “But it sounds even more ridiculous coming from you.”

Inseong’s brow twitched and he crossed his arms, glaring back at Seungjun. Obviously frustrated, he explained, “Yeah, I get annoyed with the guy but I don’t hate him. I never really hated him or was out to get him. We’ve been friends since high school.” He looked to the floor and mumbled, “He’s always been so clingy I could hardly take it. He just took everything for granted…”

Mouth gaping in disbelief, Seungjun’s lips curved into an exasperated smile. “Are you serious? _Jihun_? You think everything has been that easy for him, like he’s some spoiled brat?” Seungjun gritted his teeth and held back once he’d gotten a bit too loud. The older boy looked away and rubbed his fingers over the knuckles he’d injured the last time he got upset at Inseong.

“He never told me he was gay, okay? I didn’t know he was dealing with that.” Inseong raised his voice in return and started getting more heated. “He had Dahye, he had nice, loving parents, he didn’t even have to work that hard on our high school team. I thought he had everything good going for him back then.” He looked up and sighed more softly, like he was exhausted just thinking about it. “But then he’d always tell me he wanted to be like _me_ … Me!” Inseong pointed at himself and laughed in a way that made Seungjun feel almost pitiful for him. That is, if he hadn’t seen Jihun during all his lows at the whims of this guy.

Looking at the door again, the older boy muttered with clear sarcasm, “Yeah, how dare Jihun want to be _you_. How dare he want to be popular and talented, not living in confusion or fear about who he loves.” The last part made Seungjun’s chest tighten up at the reminder. Maybe Jihun wasn’t really like that, but just knowing the kid for this long it was a reasonable assumption. Seungjun himself was beginning to feel that way, anyhow.

“You think you have everything figured out, don’t you?” Inseong scoffed and smirked in what seemed like disgust at the other on the bed. “You know what’s the most stressful and frustrating thing to live with? Seeing the people you love not love you like you want them to.”

“What, you mean Dahye?” Seungjun held back a laugh and retorted, “Yeah, because Jihun was completely in--”

Inseong cut in and bit his lip, strained by the words that followed, “I’m talking about my parents, asshole.” The bruised boy straightened up and rubbed at his nose gently, ending the awkward silence between them with a stale, single chuckle. “Before I met Jihun in high school, I got hurt really bad. It was so bad I couldn’t even go to school for months.” Inseong stared off at the wall, eyes reading like he was lost in overwhelming memories that made Seungjun feel almost like he was an intruder seeing something he shouldn’t. “I get better again and find out my parents are getting divorced. My mom spent all her time with me so my dad got so sick of it he had an affair. She was so angry and hurt she blamed me for it all.” The boy scratched at his cheek while Seungjun stared back at him in full attention. “It was so screwed up. And to make it worse, I had to live with my dad and move to a new school…” Inseong chuckled some more, “After all the years Jihun knew me he didn’t even realize how much I hated going home. I felt like I was suffocating being in the same house as my father and his stupid whore and Jihun tells me he wants my life?” The boy shook his head, a saddened smile lingering across his lips. “I would’ve done anything to have a family like his who supported whatever I wanted to do… They wouldn’t try convincing me that what makes me happy isn’t ‘realistic’...”

Seungjun stuttered over his words, unsure of what to make of all these sudden confessions from a guy he just labelled as a douchebag until now, “Why... are you telling me all this?”

Wiping at his eye hidden from Seungjun’s view, the renowned captain shrugged and explained, “I’m trying to say… that I get it now. I get that Jihun really did understand that feeling this whole time.” The boy laughed to himself and stared straight at Seungjun. “I only just figured it out recently, can you blame me?”

For some reason, hearing those words coming from Inseong’s mouth struck the wrong chord with Seungjun and the boy stood up. “So, what? I’m supposed to pity and forgive you now? Maybe convince Jihun to just… get over how you treated him?” He couldn’t say he didn’t feel bad for the guy just hearing his family issues, but he was still stubborn enough to not let the guy off so easily. “You were still a jerk to Jihun all this time and it’s supposed to be okay because you have daddy issues?” He soon regretted phrasing it so harshly when he saw Inseong’s face change into something darker.

“You’re the last person I’d ever beg to for forgiveness. You broke my phone, you broke my fucking nose, you got me put on probation...” Inseong’s voice became somewhat shakier as he got more emotionally charged, fingers digging into his own arms to try and get rid of any excess anger. “That was supposed to be _my_ game, it was the only one that mattered. I worked so hard all these years to be captain and make a name for myself. This was going to be the one game my dad would’ve watched.” Inseong bit at his trembling lip and breathed in. He glared back at Seungjun with a wickedness that never really intimidated the guy until now. “I don’t hate Jihun, it’s you I can’t fucking stand.”

As if stuck in place, Seungjun’s legs wouldn’t move. He wanted to just leave out that door and pretend like he didn’t even know who Inseong was for the rest of his life, but he couldn’t. Something about Inseong’s ranting paralyzed him, and Seungjun could only think of how it was probably because the guy was right. It was Seungjun’s fault all these things happened to him lately, he took things too far without thinking of the consequences.

“I hate righteous assholes like you who do whatever they want and screw with people’s lives.” Inseong finally got up and walked over the the closet, sifting through some things on the shelves above for whatever he was sent here to find. Backside to the taller boy, Inseong calmed down a little and suddenly asked, “Do you honestly love Jihun?”

Taken aback, the older boy felt like he was sinking into the floor at the abrupt question. He hesitated a moment, finding it difficult to say to Inseong of all people, but Seungjun eventually breathed in and let out a shaky “Of course”. Surprisingly, he felt some relief saying it out loud, though indirectly and to someone he detested.

Inseong scoffed, pulling out the cord he was looking for this whole time. Seungjun didn’t get to see what it was exactly because in seconds Inseong had balled it in his fists and walked closer to him. “Do you really believe what you’re saying?”

Seungjun blinked and furrowed his brow, irritated by the guy again. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Unraveling and recoiling the wire around his hand, Inseong shrugged. “I’m just saying, at least I’ve always been honest with the guy.”

Finally, Seungjun snapped, “Yeah, you’re honestly a selfish bastard who only uses Jihun to make yourself look better. You have nothing good going for you so you feel better by tearing him down all the time.” At a loss for words, Seungjun hid his fists in his pockets. He wasn’t even sure what Inseong was getting at but he’d had enough of Inseong’s side of the story. The guy certainly had his reasons for hating Seungjun, and he begrudgingly acknowledged that part of their talk, but he was going to put his foot down for all the times Jihun didn’t. “Now I’ll be honest with you then; I’m not like Jihun. I don’t have the patience or the forgiveness or the kindness he has to deal with your bullshit. So if you hurt him anymore, I don’t mind breaking your nose two or three more times.” Seungjun turned toward the door, figuring it’d be best to leave before he really blew up and got physical with the guy. Opening the door to leave, he caught a quick glimpse at the guy he left behind in the room. Inseong was standing there watching him leave without a word or protest, an intense gaze in his eyes despite the expression he couldn’t interpret at all. That only pissed Seungjun off even more. The taller boy slammed the door shut and practically stomped down the stairs, trying to let off as much steam as possible before anyone noticed him. Luckily the music was still too loud and no one was in the hall to hear him mutter some more curses at the guy under his breath.

Once he reached the bottom of the steps, Seungjun started to regret what he said. Rushing into the nearest bathroom, he splashed some water over his face and stared back at the mirror. He wasn’t thinking straight at all today and now he probably just took it all out on Inseong. The guy was even opening up to someone he hated all this time, having a proper talk with him and Seungjun just shut him down the whole time. With a sigh, the tall boy wiped at some water trailing down his cheeks and brushed a hand through his hair. He wasn’t going to let himself constantly feel down and pessimistic. No, he wanted to make things right from now on. He needed to, or else he wasn’t sure if he’d even be able to move on.

Sudden laughter and low cheers from a bunch of guys caught Seungjun’s attention. Leaving the bathroom and following the commotion, the boy peeked around a corner into the room he first avoided. The place was definitely less crowded by now, plenty of people likely gone after getting a few drinks for free with no plans to stick around for Heejun’s birthday. Still, the room was filled with people, a majority of which were definitely members of the basketball team. Seungjun’s eyes widened and his whole body felt numb when he spotted Jihun among them as well. The kid was smiling bright, drink in hand while he chatted with a few others and laughed at their jokes and playful teases. Music had been blaring loud across the whole room, but now Seungjun couldn’t hear anything, his mind completely and utterly focused on Jihun across the room.

Mesmerized, Seungjun only came back down to Earth when the kid suddenly spotted him as well. The older boy swore he saw Jihun’s smile melt away when their eyes met, but Seungjun didn’t stay long enough to be sure. Insead, he spun around the corner and hid away again. Moving to the room across the hall where all the drinks had been, Seungjun’s heart felt like it would burst right out of his chest any second. Grabbing one of the few cans left, the boy nearly jumped at the crisp sound when he opened it. Though, he didn’t hesitate to start gulping it down, letting out a heavy breath once he finally broke away from the can. Honestly, he half expected Jihun to follow after him, he was waiting for it actually. He was already sorting out what to say to him once Jihun tapped his shoulder, how he should apologize and explain what happened yesterday. But Jihun never came. Drinking his entire can in a few minutes, leaving a longer gap between each sip in hopes Jihun would appear, he crushed it in his hand and sighed. Of course Jihun didn’t follow and talk to him, even in such a small house like this. Jihun had probably given up on him by now.

Shaking his head at the thought, he pushed away the doubts that kept resurfacing. Seungjun tossed the can into a bin nearby and wiped at his mouth, turning around and heading toward the crowded room with false confidence. He was going to confront Jihun himself, talk things out with him. It was the main reason he even came to this party today and it’d probably be his last chance before Jihun ended everything between them. At least, Seungjun hoped it wasn’t over already.

Walking into the room where the party really was left Seungjun with a whole different feeling. He’d walked in with the will to find Jihun and bring him aside for a one on one, but as soon as he entered the crowds of guys and girls mingling, drinking, and dancing once more he became hesitant. It even took the tall boy a moment to find Jihun in the crowd. Yet, he didn’t dare approach the kid. Instead, he started to choke and hid behind small groups moving to the music. Soon the guy found himself backed against a wall, quiet and too weak-minded to really do what he intended to. Seungjun looked at his feet, curling his fingers against the wallpaper behind his back in agony. He couldn’t take his stupid wish-washy emotions lately anymore but he also couldn’t force himself to change it seemed. It was too difficult for someone who felt so alone.

Moments later Seungjun felt himself lose his balance. He didn’t realize it over the loud music, but someone was beside him, tugging at his sleeve and calling his name. In seconds he fell down, yanked onto a small couch by someone he caught sight of in an upside-down perspective.

“Sorry! I didn’t think you’d fall like that!” Yuji shouted over the music enough so only Seungjun and her could hear each other. She smiled down at Seungjun’s face as his head landed in her lap and his legs sprawled in the air and the tall boy was relieved. Yuji was always like a bright light that made him feel safe and warm, even if she was giggling at his awkward position right now.

Resituating himself upright, Seungjun sunk into the cushion beside her and beamed, “It’s fine.” Though she mouthed a ‘what’ and leaned in further to hear better while Seungjun repeated himself, cupping his hand to her ear. “I said it’s fine.”

Yuji nodded in understanding and flashed a wide grin, taking a sip of the drink in her hands and rolling the glass between her palms. She was busy surveying the crowd in front of them, dancing and having fun, though she seemed perfectly content with just watching. Seungjun pointed out her drink in interest and to start up any normal conversation to distract himself with and she laughed. “This? I’m just doing water today.” She held the cup up to her face then back in her lap, looking from one face to another in the crowd. “I figure I should probably stay sober today. Dahye’s the one who always gets crazy at parties…” When she seemed to spot who she was looking for, she laughed to herself and leaned over, pointing in the direction of Dahye across the room. Seungjun laughed a bit himself. The girl seemed way too excited, dancing so much all alone.

At least, he thought she was until another figure moved out of the way and Seungjun noticed Jihun dancing with the tipsy girl. The two of them were out there together, laughing and dancing like they weren’t surrounded by a ton of people at the moment. The older boy’s chest felt tight, weak from how strong every beat felt across his body. He honestly couldn’t tell if it was because of the music or his own anxious heart, but he was sure he was grateful for this small moment. He wasn’t thinking of what happened between them, of how inadequate Seungjun was for Jihun, he didn’t even feel sick or choked up watching him then. Like Yuji, he was content with watching. If he interrupted at all, he wouldn’t get to see Jihun grinning from ear to ear, cheeks flushed and moving so freely and confidently. So he sat there quietly, making himself into a wallflower so he could enjoy the moment.

“I think they’re trying to make us jealous.” Yuji leaned over and revealed to Seungjun, stealing his attention away. She pouted at the two across the room and fingered the rim of her cup. “Dahye knows I don’t like to dance in public, but she’s persistent about it.” Glancing at the boy beside her, Yuji crossed her legs and leaned back. “How about you? Why aren’t you out there right now?”

Seungjun’s eyes fluttered, unsure of what to say. “I… don’t really like dancing either.” He had to make up something on the spot though it did hold some truth. He didn’t even really know how to dance, it just wasn’t something he did.

Yuji hummed and peered at the boy, taking another sip while she watched the two. Making a few glances Seungjun’s way, she eventually shoved at his arm and laughed. “Oh come on. It’s so obvious you wanna go out there and dance with him.” She tried pushing him up while he sat there like a rock, making poor attempts at denying it. She giggled a bit and didn’t stop, “Just go! I don’t need a babysitter.”

“But--”

“Go!” Yuji yelled over the music when he finally stood up, shooing him off and sipping at her water with a bright smile still on her face. Was Seungjun really that transparent? He scolded himself and let out a shaky breath. If anything, this was Yuji also giving him an opportunity to do what he wanted to for some time. As he squeezed between several people, uttering apologies for bumping into strange places, he was a little glad the girl pushed him out here now. He needed that push, really. Now the only thing he repeated in his head was how he’d pull Jihun aside and sort this whole thing out with him. Seungjun would finally explain how he felt about him and turn this whole mess around.

Making his way through two or three more small clusters of people, Seungjun slowed when he got closer. Jihun had already spotted him and froze up, laughter fading out and an awkward, unhappy smile left on his expression. It wasn’t sad per se, just a smile filled with a bittersweet feeling rather than joy. It certainly hurt Seungjun to see that look on his face, knowing full well why he looked that way, but he pushed forward. Moving between both Dahye and Jihun, he opened his mouth to speak when the girl laughed loudly and hung around Seungjun’s shoulder.

“Seungjun! You ran away before I could get you a drink!” She was a lot more tipsy up close and while it might’ve been funny had the circumstances been different, now it was just trying on his patience. She playfully hit at his shoulder and cooed, “Don’t worry. I’ll forgive you if you dance with me!”

Shaking his head, Seungjun gave her a small, polite grin and rejected the offer. “I’m fine, thanks.” He looked over at Jihun who was just standing there now, confused about what to do now that the tall boy had finally confronted him. Seungjun tried smiling back at him to make the air less stifling for them both, though it became too difficult for him and the older boy bit his lip. Leaning in, he grabbed ahold of Jihun’s hand and cupped his mouth closer to the boy’s ear. “Can we talk somewhere else?” Though Jihun quickly slid his hand out of Seungjun’s, awkwardly scratching at his arm and looking away after taking a step back. Seungjun’s throat felt strained, like any words he wanted to say were sealed shut inside at Jihun’s rejection. He felt like he could hardly even breathe now but tried to smile through it. “I need to tell you something, please?” Seungjun’s voice felt shaky and shallow, practically begging the kid to hear him out despite having every right not to listen.

Jihun looked from the floor to Dahye standing beside them both. The girl was evidently confused as she glanced from one guy to the other, laughing nervously at the tension. “I’ll leave you guys alone…” Even though she might’ve been a little drunk, she wasn’t ignorant to the fact something was going on between the both of them.

When she’d left, lost somewhere in the crowd of people, Jihun sighed and leaned against the wall nearby, rubbing at the back of his neck silently. “Seungjun--”

Suddenly the music that had been booming throughout the room cut off and every group chattering and laughing around them had quieted down. The two boys looked up in surprise, first at each other, then immediately anywhere else in the room. Some singing could be heard as someone moved into the room from around a corner. When Seungjun turned around and peered over some others’ shoulders, he could tell it was Inseong holding a cake and singing the birthday song for Heejun. The birthday boy was sitting on a couch nearby, wearing a cheap cone-shaped birthday hat and surrounded by some other teammates. He was putting on a show of humility and bashfulness once he saw the cake, but it was pretty obvious he was expecting this to be the bare minimum all day. Clapping and singing along, everyone’s attention was on the front of the room, cheering for Heejun while he blowed out the candles with little time to admire the cake.

“You’re supposed to make a wish dummy!” Inseong laughed and waved some smoke out of his face.

Heejun shrugged and swiped a finger into the frosting. “I’ve been making a list all day, I think the birthday fairy is probably sick of my wishes by now.” Sucking on the digit, the boy and a few others laughed and started cutting the cake, handing it out to some people while Seungjun looked on with genuine happiness. Clapping his own hands a few times in congratulations, he turned back around and stopped when he saw no one behind him. Jihun had run off somewhere and now Seungjun felt awful again.

Wandering the halls, Seungjun looked all around for the kid, even peeking around upstairs and yet finding no signs of him. Maybe Jihun was just in the room where the rest of the party was, having some cake and fun with Dahye and Yuji and completely forgetting Seungjun even existed. The tall boy frowned at the thought, stopping in his tracks and sighing. He wanted so desperately to talk with Jihun but at this point he was just so emotionally drained he wanted to give up just as much. He could just give up now, go home with no explanation or goodbye, and pretend Jihun didn’t exist either. They’d move on and find other people to make them happy and forget this whole fake relationship even happened.

The muffled sound of a toilet flushing surprised Seungjun and the boy looked to the door next to him the sound came from. For a moment, Seungjun completely brightened up and felt hopeful again. Jihun was probably just in the bathroom this whole time and now he’d walk out and see Seungjun and they could talk right then and there. Then Seungjun wouldn’t go home alone and erase Jihun from his life. They’d leave together as a real couple and spend their days fully committed, just like that sweet dream he’d envisioned earlier that day.

Then the door opened and Seungjun let out a suspended breath he didn’t even realize he was holding. Inseong had walked out, stopping in place when he noticed Seungjun in front of him again. Rolling his eyes, the guy shut the door behind him. “What? Were you waiting for me?”

“No, I thought Jihun was in there.” Seungjun retorted. He really had no patience left to deal with Inseong a second time.

Inseong chuckled under his breath and raised a brow. “You guys having trouble? It’s all over your face right now.” He started walking away and added, “Guess he finally found out the truth huh?”

Now Seungjun was just confused. It felt like Inseong was going on about something that Seungjun really had no clue about. Really, it just frustrated Seungjun enough that he’d finally had it. Following after the guy, Seungjun grabbed onto Inseong’s shoulder and stopped him. “What the hell are you even talking about?”

Inseong stumbled a bit over his feet but pulled back when Seungjun grabbed onto him. It was probably instinct after the punch Seungjun had thrown at him before so the guy naturally kept his distance. Inseong scoffed and gave the taller boy a spiteful look. “I’m talking about how you’re cheating on Jihun!” The boy shouted in aggravation and Seungjun pulled his hand back.

Stunned to say the least, it took Seungjun a moment before he could even process the accusation. “What… cheating? Where the hell did you get that idea?”

With a cocky smirk, Inseong pulled out his phone and sifted through a few photos, holding it up to show to the taller boy with confidence. “Are you going to pretend this isn’t you?” In the photo was Seungjun with a girl, one of the many he took photos with for money just a few months ago. He was kissing the side of her head and hugging her shoulders, holding her close while she took the photo, the both of them flashing matching poses.

“That’s not… it’s not what it looks like!” Seungjun was panicking. He didn’t think Inseong of all people would come across one of those old photos, cursing himself for even starting that stupid side job in the first place.

“Really? That’s your excuse?” Inseong chuckled in disbelief and looked at the photo himself. “You two look even closer here than you do with your own boyfriend.” Suddenly Inseong turned to his left and held the phone up that way. Seungjun followed with his eyes and realized they were standing right in the center of the entrance to the room everyone was partying in. They’d probably caught the attention of enough people that it seemed like nearly all eyes were on them now, music low enough that their whole conversation was crystal clear. “Does this look like two people who are ‘just friends’ to you guys?” He handed the phone off to one of his teammates and a few of them looked it over in interest while Inseong looked back at Seungjun. “She was at the bar a few of us went to last night when she showed that photo and made it clear you were her boyfriend.” Crossing his arms, he cocked his head to the side and looked Seungjun up and down. “What, Jihun wasn’t doing it for you?”

Heejun squeezed by some of the others, catching up pretty quickly and reaching out for his friend. “Inseong, don’t--”

The captain shook him off and only raised his voice. “Or maybe you were just stringing Jihun along this whole time? Just some curiosity for you?”

“Inseong!” Heejun shouted until someone else shouted over him.

“You’re right!” Jihun started once he’d moved close enough. Yuji and Dahye were standing behind him, looking just as bewildered as everyone else. All eyes were on him now as he finally spoke up, voice loud and slightly unstable. “You’re right, Inseong. Seungjun was this girl’s boyfriend.” The taller boy looked down and realized Jihun was now holding the phone, fingers curling further around the sides of the device while he smiled down at the photo. “And he was my boyfriend too. But you’re right about that too, Inseong... Seungjun’s not really gay.”

A few people were whispering about what was going, cluing each other in while gossiping about the truth unraveling before their eyes. Jihun laughed to himself and looked up, dropping the phone to his side. “We’re not even _really_ dating. He gets paid to be someone's fake boyfriend. I just paid him to pretend to be my boyfriend for the semester. Today was the last day of our deal too...”

Seungjun was at a loss for words with how honest Jihun was suddenly being, especially in front of such big crowd. He was always so shy about this aspect of his life and Seungjun respected that but now it felt like something was breaking. Rather than a wall coming down out of growth, a window into his most intimate secrets was being shattered. “Jihun…” was all Seungjun could mutter at the moment. He wanted to say so much more, but the kid only kept going, explaining everything on his own terms.

“But you know, Seungjun isn’t a bad guy. He thinks of others all the time and goes out of his way to help these girls… he helped me when I begged him so pathetically.” Jihun stepped forward and shrugged, grinning at Inseong. “Yeah, okay. I’m a loser. I had to pay someone to date me. I saved photos just like this because I liked it. I liked everything even though it was all fake. It’s pathetic…” He furrowed his brow and tossed the phone back to Inseong who fumbled with his hands in catching it. Everyone was just so engrossed in Jihun’s sudden unbelievable confession. “But at least Seungjun cared for me. He looked out for me this whole time while others just ignored me or mocked me.” He looked to some of his teammates in the crowd, then back to Inseong who was frozen speechless. “People treated me like I was disgusting or pitied me like I was completely helpless.” Finally, Jihun turned his attention to Seungjun beside him, lips trembling from how frustrated and calm he tried to be about everything he’d bottled up until now. “At least he was always sincere with me, even if we’re nothing after today.” They met eyes for a moment until Jihun looked away, eyelids fluttering while he wiped at one eye and smiled with clear sadness. “You can make fun of me or say whatever you want about me, I don’t care. Just don’t you dare try and say Seungjun is a bad guy. I dragged him into this, leave him alone.” He glared right at Inseong before glancing back at the others. Overwhelmed, he hid his eyes behind his hand. “I’m sorry Heejun… for ruining your birthday...”

Heejun blinked and stepped forward, hesitant to try and comfort the kid at all. Everyone was just paralyzed with confusion they didn’t know how to respond. “I-It’s okay, Jihun. Really. Here, let’s--”

Jihun shook his head and sniffled, “I’ll just go. I’m sorry.” Then he quickly brushed past Inseong, heading out the front door before anyone could stop him.

Inseong stood there dumbfounded, embarrassed to have exposed Jihun like that when he was only quarreling with Seungjun. Though, Heejun was the first to speak up, shoving at Inseong’s shoulder and scolding him, “What the hell is your problem? You had to bring that up now?!”

“I just…” Inseong rubbed at his arm and trailed off. He couldn’t offer any excuse for what happened and simply looked back at Seungjun.

In fact, everyone was looking to Seungjun now, exposed for the scheme he was running and the lie he’d played them all for fools with. The tall boy stood there, paralyzed by Jihun’s words. Everything the kid had said might’ve been a way to come clean or stand up for himself to everyone else, but to Seungjun it was also a way for Jihun to say they were clearly over. Jihun didn’t want to drag Seungjun down with him and took all the heat for everything that happened between them. Then Seungjun’s gut twisted into sharp knots at the thought that Jihun blamed himself for last night. Seungjun was the selfish, pathetic loser, not Jihun.

Amidst some whispers and gossiping, even a few jokes about what Jihun just did, Dahye stepped forward. Inseong seemed certain she’d get mad at him, but the girl moved straight for Seungjun instead. “Was it fun playing pretend with such a fragile kid? Did he pay you well, huh? Asshole!” She was fuming upon hearing the truth and shoved at Seungjun’s chest. “Just don’t ever bother Jihun again. He doesn’t need more pain.”

The taller boy didn’t bother to retaliate, letting her yell her frustrations at him before storming off after the kid who ran out. He knew she was only treating him like this because she cared deeply for Jihun, she’d trusted Seungjun with protecting Jihun and only now did she find out how the guy had abused that trust. Seungjun felt like he was suffocating, that disgusting feeling of his guts spilling onto the floor completely numbing his body. Then he saw Yuji follow after Dahye. For some reason, Seungjun reached out as if begging for help, to not be swallowed up into this painful loneliness, but the girl shook him off and shook her head. “Just… don’t.” The girl pushed him away with her words and rushed out after the two. She was disappointed in him, he knew it, and it sent him spiraling into an overwhelming sickness.

Eyes moving from one figure to another, Seungjun looked back at the others still staring at him, waiting like predators for his next move. It was fight or flight, but by now Seungjun’s spirit was weak. He was too tired and wounded to care whether they chewed him up and spit him out or left him to rot by himself. Slowly, he started heading out. He was sure he heard Heejun say something to him before he walked out the door, but all his senses felt numb. His body moved back to his place, eyes trailing over every step across the sidewalks and streets that led him back to his apartment. It took him twice as long to get there and the door felt ten times heavier as he opened it. Dragging himself inside, he let it shut with a loud bang and pushed his shoes off.

Youjin was in the kitchen cooking dinner when Seungjun returned. “Seungjun? Is that you?” The guy dropped the veggies he was preparing and grabbed a towel to wipe his hands, peeking around the corner when his roommate didn’t answer. “You’re back earlier than I thought. Did you eat?” When he finally got a good sight of Seungjun in the entryway, Youjin blinked and rushed over. “Hey, what’s wrong? What happened?”

Seungjun hadn’t noticed until Youjin asked, but he was crying. Helplessly, Seungjun sobbed with a strained voice, “Youjin… I don’t know what to do…” Without questioning him any longer, Youjin looked concerned and reached out. Pulling his roommate into a hug, he held Seungjun close and just soothed the guy’s back while he sobbed into his shoulder. Seungjun let out little cries and finally spilled out the vulnerable, sorrowful emotions he’d been holding back until now. “I love him Youjin… I love him so much… but I…” The tall boy huffed and sobbed into his roommate’s shoulder, burying his face and mumbling everything he wanted to say but lost the chance to.

Youjin stood there and told him to let it all out, not minding this one time Seungjun was clinging onto him. “I know, I know…” He whispered into Seungjun’s ear every time he confessed to the feelings that had been plaguing his mind for some time. Hardly able to calm down, Seungjun stuck close to him like that for ten, twenty minutes or more. The only thing that mattered to Youjin at the moment was being there for Seungjun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be just 8k but it's almost another 12k so hahahaha  
> don't know if this is exactly how i wanted this chapter to go but everything's always better in your head right? it's probably the most realistic way i could portray this whole thing. a bit messy but im content ig  
> i also realized i never wrote what seungjun's present was but i never thought of anything good anyway so idk if you'll ever find out lmfao
> 
> again, thanks everyone for the nice comments! i have a blast reading them lol


	11. Circuits of Fever

Tracing the cracks and chips in the white paint on the ceiling with his eyes, Seungjun laid limp in his bed. He was still plenty exhausted as he’d just woken up, though he knew he’d be unable to get back to sleep now. The aroma of a delicious, fresh breakfast seeped into his room and awoke him again. This time he didn’t dream of anything though. At least, he couldn’t remember anything even if he had had any dreams, good or bad. Seungjun’s mind was just vacant of any thoughts as he lied there in bed, staring up at the ceiling of his room. Silently he watched the shadows still across the paint, waver now and again from the whisp of a tree outside his window. It wasn’t long before his eyes dried up, feeling hot and shot with a pang of pain to which the boy just groaned and squeezed his fingers across his eyelids. Hearing the sound of his own voice broke him out of his mellow trance and sent him spiraling back into melancholy. This was going to be another day where he felt completely and utterly pathetic.

A light knock came at Seungjun’s door and the boy pulled himself up, sitting straight to face Youjin as he peeked inside. “Hey, I made some omelettes if you want any.” The room was quiet for a moment and the boy’s roommate added, “You hungry?”

Seungjun glanced over and flashed a small smile. “Guess so. The smell woke me up.”

Youjin chuckled a few times at that and then swiped his tongue over his lips. Looking away while he bit his lip, he turned away and left the door ajar. “Come get them while they’re hot then.” Seungjun watched as the door creaked and stilled to a stop without shutting. The smell from Youjin’s homemade breakfast was stronger now and Seungjun’s gut rumbled in need. He’d already skipped out on dinner the night before, and the night before that, and maybe... 

Now that Seungjun thought about it, he wasn’t even sure what day it was. He’d holed himself up in their apartment ever since the birthday party. Sometimes he came out to get food or watch some television, whenever Youjin wasn’t around at least, but other than that he was acting like a hermit. Instead he just lazed around, rereading some of his favorite novels and listening to music all the while. Seeing the characters in their stories triumph over their obstacles and finish their adventures happily distracted Seungjun enough to feel happy himself.

Venturing out of his room for the first time in hours, Seungjun dragged himself into the kitchen. Grabbing a plateful of omelettes and fruit set out by his roommate, he tried as best he could to avoid the guy altogether and return to his cave down the hall. Of course, he should’ve expected Youjin to stop him when the guy called him over to the table. “You going back to your room? I feel like I haven’t seen you in days, come. Sit here.” The guy pointed his knife toward the chair across from him before chewing down on another huge bite of his stuffed omelette. The thing was huge once Seungjun approached the table and got a better look at it and it made the tall boy wonder who really was the starving one here.

Pulling out the chair, the screech of its legs across the hardwood pained the boy’s ears and he quickly took a seat. Unwilling to scoot back in, the boy hunched over his plate and cut a few pieces into his food. He gradually began to gorge on it like a hungry wolf.

Youjin put his fork down and smirked to himself, taking a sip of some water while he watched his roommate eat so much despite looking so small. “So… are you feeling any better?”

Seungjun glanced up at his roommate and then back down at his plate. After stuffing another chunk of the omelette into his mouth, the boy shrugged. “I’m fine.”

Suddenly a sigh came from across the table and Seungjun lifted his face. “You’re obviously not fine. You’ve been a shut-in for the past three days.” Youjin sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. He wasn’t done with his food yet, but he made Seungjun his priority again. “Do you even know what time it is? What day it is today?”

The other boy frowned and swallowed his food hard. Leaning back himself, Seungjun slouched in the chair and fiddled with his fork on the plate. “Does it really matter…” He pouted, unwilling to admit that he had no idea what the right answer was to either of those questions.

With a scoff, Youjin pinched at the bridge of his nose. “Well it’s just past eleven right now. It’s Wednesday.”

“Okay…” Seungjun looked back down at his plate, slowly losing his appetite the longer his roommate talked to him about his problems. “I just haven’t looked at my phone in a while so I wasn’t sure.” He gave a lazy excuse to make his period of anxiety seem more understandable. Really, he didn’t even touch his phone since the party because he was afraid of seeing any messages from Heejun or Yuji or Dahye and especially Jihun. Seungjun doubted Jihun would’ve even messaged him since the birthday party since it was clear the kid was cutting all ties with him during his confession. Though Seungjun still hoped for and dreaded seeing any sort of message from him.

Shaking his head in pity or disappointment or even a mixture of both, Youjin leaned forward and cut some more of his food before it got too cold. “I just thought you should know since graduation’s only two days away.” He kept an eye on Seungjun and picked up another hefty forkful of food. “You’re going to go to your own graduation right?”

Seungjun furrowed his brow and put the fork down, pulling his hands back into his lap. “Of course! I told you I’m fine.”

Youjin chewed his food some and nodded to himself, watching Seungjun twiddle his fingers in his lap the best he could see from his side of the table. “How about Jihun? Is he okay?” When Seungjun merely stiffened up at the mention of Jihun, Youjin swallowed and exhaled, softening his voice a bit. “You really should call him you know. At least check up on him.”

“Why? We’re not a thing or whatever.” Seungjun mumbled under his unsteady breath, “He’s better off without me bothering him anymore anyway…”

Seungjun nearly jumped in his seat when he heard the clang of Youjin’s fork hitting his plate. When he looked up he noticed Youjin glaring straight at him, arms crossed again. “Look, you can’t just keep moping around here like someone died! If you really did screw up then shouldn’t you at least try to make amends?” Seungjun was surprised by his roommate’s short temper, but kept his lips shut tight and looked away, avoiding the other’s intimidating gaze. Calmed down slightly, Youjin reached out for his water and took another sip. Leaning on the tabletop, Youjin sighed and smoothed his fingers through his hair once. “Seungjun…” He started and bit his lip. The other boy looked up, slouched in his seat and arms crossed in defense. This wasn’t a conversation Seungjun ever wanted to have but it was clearly something Youjin wanted to bring up for some time now. “I don’t really understand what you’re going through right now and I probably never will…” The guy eyed Seungjun again and added with a gentleness only Youjin could have, “But you told me you love Jihun.”

“I know I did but…” Seungjun cut in and squeezed his hands together. The boy held his head low, becoming overwhelmed as he recalling all those emotions he felt just days ago. “It was stupid. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“Seungjun.” The boy’s roommate called out to him and Seungjun slowly looked up, looking defeated. Youjin didn’t deter and stared right at him while he explained, “I could tell you really cared about him. I could also see how much he liked you too.” With a small chuckle, he added, “You might not notice it, but you brighten up so much more around Jihun. You look happier than I’ve seen you been all the years we’ve known each other.” Showing off a soft, sincere grin, Youjin picked up his fork again and gathered the bits into a pile to scoop up in one swoop. “Doesn’t some part of you want to fight and get him back?”

Seungjun blinked and felt the blood rush through his fingertips. Loosening the grip between his hands, the boy thought over Youjin’s words for a moment and looked away. He was bashful about how easily Youjin had read his feelings this entire time, yet he felt completely relieved to know Youjin did understand him. Of course he was still doubtful he could do anything to fix things with Jihun, but his roommate’s words spoke to him like a small beacon flashing on and off at the end of enveloping darkness.

The screeching of a chair across the floor won back Seungjun’s attention and he realized Youjin had finished his meal. Carrying his plate toward the kitchen sink, the boy’s roommate stopped beside him and patted at his shoulder. “Just stop moping around and take a shower, okay?” He called back from the kitchen in a joking manner, holding a hand up to his nose. “I tried ignoring it but you’re starting to stink pretty bad, you know…”

With a frown, Seungjun glared back at the guy who was chuckling to himself at the light insult. Finishing off his food, the boy cleaned up his own plate and headed for the bathroom. After he snuck a whiff of himself when Youjin wasn’t looking he begrudgingly agreed with the guy’s proposition. It had been several days since he last bathed, after all.

Rubbing a towel through his hair, Seungjun waltzed back to his room feeling somewhat refreshed. It was nice having a quick, hot shower and now his once stuffy room felt roomy and spacious. The boy changed into some clean clothes lying around, an old black tee and some mid-length jean shorts the first things he spotted. Letting the towel hang around his shoulders, Seungjun sat on the edge of his bed and looked around his room while he rubbed some of his hair dry. It wasn’t long before his eyes spotted the phone set on his desk, dead without any battery left and untouched for days. It was honestly amazing that he didn’t go mad without a phone in hand but that was also probably because his mind was already going crazy about every other chaotic event in his life at the moment. Of course there was all the drama with Inseong and Jihun, but now his graduation was coming up fast and he’d have to deal with his family as well.

Seungjun bit his lip at the sudden guilt. He hadn’t bothered to check his phone in days during the week of his graduation so his parents were probably worried when they couldn’t reach him. He’d just been so caught up with his emotions and wallowing in his emptiness he didn’t even think of them all this time. A little hesitant at first, the boy finally got up and pulled the towel off his shoulders, tossing it into a pile of laundry he needed to do soon before it swallowed his entire room. Seungjun grabbed ahold of his phone and tested the battery. As expected, the device was dead and Seungjun exhaled. He didn’t even realize he was holding his breath at that moment, though now that allowed him to realize how silly it was to be acting like this about some missed calls or texts. He couldn’t ignore it all forever and so he found his charger and gave the phone a minute to recharge, drying the rest of his hair in the meanwhile. When he returned there was enough battery to turn it on and Seungjun pulled up the chair beside his desk. Seungjun had gone on his laptop a few times when he was bored with hiding away in his room, though only to watch some videos or play music to distract himself some more. Opening it now while his phone took a moment to turn on, he finally coerced himself to check his SNS. Might as well see what the world around him was up to while he was missing out.

The phone beside him let out a beep as he loaded Facebook in a tab and Seungjun quickly turned his attention to it. It took a second for all his notifications and updates to show up, though it was just as he expected. The boy had missed a few calls from his mother from the day before and now he felt incredibly guilty. Giving her priority, Seungjun clicked on her name and leaned forward so his ear could reach the cell without unplugging from the cord. It still needed a lot more time to be fully charged. Though he was incredibly nervous, the ringtone was somewhat calming. It felt familiar and when the phone clicked and a woman answered on the other side, he felt warm.

“Seungjun? Is that you?” His mother’s voice was muffled as she seemed to shuffle the phone into a better position. He briefly wondered if she was shocked by his call, but didn’t think much about anything except how happy he was to hear her voice.

“Hi Mom…” He started and quickly apologized, “I’m sorry I missed your calls. My phone was off.”

The boy could practically hear her smile from across the line. “That’s okay Sweetie. I’m just glad you called.” Seungjun smiled a bit at that. “I was just calling to let you know when we would be coming to see you.”

“Oh…” Seungjun blinked and felt nervous again. “When are you coming?”

The woman hummed. “We were thinking Friday morning. Your brother was complaining about staying the night on Thursday.” She laughed and Seungjun huffed out a small laugh himself. “Do you want to talk to him? He’s here, hold on.”

After some shuffling and muffled speech from the other side of the line, Seungjun lit up when he heard his brother loud and clear. “Hey Hyung.”

Seungjun beamed and cooed. “You really can’t come see your beloved big brother for more than a day?”

The young boy scoffed and joked, “You’re the one that wants to see  _ me _ so bad all the time, you should be coming to see us instead.”

“Okay, I’ll tell my whole class we’ll be having our graduation ceremony at our house.” Seungjun laughed, “That sound good?”

Seungjun heard a few chuckles across the line, then a pause. The brief silence made Seungjun anxious again. “Hey, Hyung…” The boy’s brother started and Seungjun waited for him to continue. “Just know that… you’re the best, okay?”

With a small, unsure laugh, Seungjun answered back. “Where did that come from?” Though, he softened up and appreciated his brother’s words. “But I’ll take it, thanks.”

“Good, because that’s the only gift I’m giving you for graduating.” His brother sneered and Seungjun pouted. They teased and joked a bit more before his mother was put back on the phone, reminding the boy to take care of himself until they saw him again that week. By the time they’d both hung up, Seungjun felt relieved. Just hearing his family again was comforting enough to make him feel better for the moment.

Though, it was short lived once he got a glimpse of his phone again, all the missed texts racked up in his messenger. Some were from his family for missing their calls, another few from Youjin that he’d missed during the party and his time curled up in bed, and one from someone else. For some reason his heart started racing at the thought that it might have been from Jihun, though he found a bit of solace in reading Haeryeong’s name as the sender. Opening the message out of curiosity, he raised a brow at the girl’s first text to him in weeks:

> _ “Oppa, I want to tell you something. Can we meet somewhere?” _

It was strangely polite and he frowned at the question. He hadn’t spoken to Haeryeong at all since they met up outside the library weeks ago despite saying he wanted to stay friends with her. First he led her on and then he completely ignored her existence. Some friend he was.

The creak of his door swinging open startled Seungjun and he quickly put the phone down onto his desk to face the door. It was just Youjin peeking through the doorway yet it almost gave Seungjun a heart attack. He was just too weak in spirit lately that even this had unsettled him. It was embarrassing, Seungjun thought.

“Hey I talked with my family earlier and they said they’re all coming down for the weekend…” Youjin explained with a look of annoyance clear on his face. Seungjun understood why though, considering how large his family was and how strict his parents usually were on him. It was Seungjun’s luck that Youjin was the exact opposite.

“Okay…” Seungjun answered back, slow to the take with how many things were happening in his head at the moment. He’d nearly forgotten Youjin was even graduating in the same class as he was.

“So they might be staying here…” Youjin broke the news to Seungjun and sighed. “They’re kinda cheap and probably won’t get a hotel, so I wanted to ask if my parents could stay in your room.”

Seungjun looked around his room, at all the piles of books and old papers, trash, and dirty laundry scattered all around. With a hesitant noise, the taller boy leaned back in his chair. “I mean, I guess it’s fine. I’ll just have to clean up…”

“I know, it’s a shitty thing to ask last minute, but I have to give my room to my brothers.” Youjin sighed again and Seungjun started to feel more and more for the guy. “I’ll cook whatever you want for the next week in return okay?”

“Youjin it’s fine, really.” Seungjun grinned and shook his head at the offer. Albeit, he was annoyed with having to sleep on the couch for a few days all of a sudden. Still, he didn’t want to make it into a big deal, especially after everything Youjin had done for him lately, and complied. “It’s better to have your parents sleep on my bed than yours. Your mattress is made of stones.” Seungjun shook his head and got up, already scanning the room for every bit of trash to collect and toss in a proper bin.

Youjin beamed and thanked his roommate some more, “I owe you Seungjun, and I’m sorry about this, really.” Looking at the watch on his wrist, he spun on his heel and rushed down the hall, calling back, “I gotta go to work, we can talk more later!”

Seungjun laughed to himself a few times as he bent over and began cleaning his floor. Youjin already seemed totally stressed out about the upcoming weekend it made Seungjun feel a bit better about himself. He didn’t have to deal with graduating with a family like Youjin’s around and he certainly didn’t have to deal with introducing a girlfriend to them either.

The boy sighed and stood straight, crumpling the trash into a ball between his palms. He surveyed the rest of the floor instead of dwelling on that thought. He was sure his parents would’ve loved Jihun, maybe not necessarily the fact he was dating Jihun, but they’d love the kid almost as much as Seungjun did. Tossing the trash ball into a garbage bin in a corner of his room, Seungjun began gathering his dirty clothes together. All he needed to focus on at the moment was making this room presentable for once.

About an hour later and with only a few miscellaneous objects remaining around the room, Seungjun brushed the dust off his hands and let out a satisfied breath. He could actually see most of the floor now, and that in itself was a feat. The sheets on his bed needed to be changed and his desk was still covered in notebooks and textbooks lined with sticky notes, but it would do for now. Eyeing his desk, Seungjun took a seat and immediately felt relieved after how long he’d been standing, bent so low to the ground all the while. The boy had nearly forgotten he’d even opened a page for Facebook and leaned on the desk, scrolling through a few things on his feed until he felt unsettled by something. There were a bunch of personal messages in his inbox and updates he’d been alerted about. He was never an avid user of his account so the sudden influx of attention was strange. Against his better judgement, Seungjun clicked on one notification that seemed especially prevalent. Though, his heart dropped as soon as he opened the video it linked to. His screen played a recording of the incident from Heejun’s birthday party, taken from someone in the crowd who’d seen it all firsthand. Seungjun witnessed again how Seungjun had been exposed for the web of lies he’d sewn for weeks.

Seungjun scrolled down in anxiety, wishing desperately that it hadn’t been Inseong, Heejun, and the other popular members of their school basketball team in the video. Though of course it had to be them and of course they had to be popular enough to warrant thousands of views and tons of comments already. Seungjun bit his tongue as he read them all one by one, feeling sicker the further he read.

> _ “Is that really Inseong? omg” _
> 
> _ “Who is Inseong mad at?” _
> 
> _ “It’s a guy named Park Seungjun.” _
> 
> _ “Park Seungjun hahaha he’s in my class, this is hilarious” _
> 
> _ “Whaaat? Park Seungjun? I knew him for so long and didn’t even think he was a guy like that….” _
> 
> _ “Oh I know that guy, everyone I know agrees he’s always been pretentious lol didn’t think he was a homo too” _
> 
> _ “Inseong looks really pissed hehehehe that guy must be a real douche” _
> 
> _ “Park Seungjun is gay?!?!” _
> 
> _ “No, no, no. That guy said that Seungjun guy is paid to date people lmao this is crazy” _
> 
> _ “Everyone! I can confirm that Park Seungjun is a boyfriend-for-hire lol My ex-girlfriend used him before to make me jealous…” _
> 
> _ “Look at Heejun hahahahaha he’s wearing that cone hat and looks like ‘argh you ruined my birthday you dick!’ hahahaha” _
> 
> _ “Who the hell sells themselves as someone’s boyfriend lmao what an asshole” _
> 
> _ “Wow that guy is trash isn’t he? ^^” _
> 
> _ “I was waiting for someone to punch this Seungjun guy ㅠㅠ That poor guy, isn’t he Inseong’s sub?” _
> 
> _ “I don’t know what’s more pathetic, being paid to be someone’s fake boyfriend or buying a fake boyfriend lol” _
> 
> _ “No, but is he still for hire? He’s f*cking hot I want to try hehehe” _
> 
> _ “Inseong, can you please be my fake boyfriend too~” _
> 
> _ “I have pictures from my friends who hired him hehehehe look at how stupid he looks ugh it pisses me off” _
> 
> _ “How dirty hahaha going around and selling yourself like that.. Is he that pathetic?” _
> 
> _ “Kind of a man-slut isn’t he?” _
> 
> _ “Do you think he fucked that guy for some extra cash?” _

Seungjun closed his eyes and held his head low. He never felt so embarrassed and ashamed until now as he sheepishly closed the video. Though, deep in his heart, behind all the hurt and emptiness, Seungjun was still convincing himself that it was what he deserved. Everything these people said, people who didn’t even know him at all, was accurate enough when he thought about it. He couldn’t stop thinking about it and it weighed heavy on his mind. This was why he lost Jihun; he was an asshole and a liar.

Breathing in a shaky breath, Seungjun glanced back at the screen at the other few notifications he’d gotten. Opening each private message out of sheer duty to see it all, the longer he felt that horrible, sickening feeling in his chest. Some cursed him out and mocked him, though there were also a few seeking him out for offers to fake it for them as well. A handful even went as far to offer him money for sex after hearing as if it wasn’t that far off from what he already did. Most probably assumed he was like that by now, though he really didn’t care anymore. He told himself he didn’t actually care about what they thought of him and how disgusting they viewed him to be, but it still hurt in subtle ways. Seungjun told himself he could always ignore it just like he had the last few days and maybe eventually it would all blow over.

Then Seungjun saw another private message in his inbox that only made him feel worse. It was a message from Inseong. Forcing himself to read everything, Seungjun opened it and scanned the words with eyes already ringed with tears.

> _ “Seungjun, this is Inseong. I know we’re not really friends but I’m sorry. Can we talk?” _

Shutting his computer closed, Seungjun rested his head on top between his arms. He was too tired and angry to deal with everything right now. Though he knew he had to do something eventually. He’d already wasted enough time holed up in this room. Though, the only one who reached out to him so far was that damn captain and it only made Seungjun feel worse.

Glancing at his phone, Seungjun pursed his lip and stared at the black screen. Inseong wasn’t the only one who reached out to him, he remembered, and the boy reached out to look at his texts once more. Finger hovering over Haeryeong’s request, the boy sighed and laid there limp for a moment. He waited to recharge a bit himself before getting up and grabbing his phone. 

> _ “Ok, is today alright?” _

Sending Haeryeong a text back, he stood around and finished tidying up his room while waiting for a response. Grabbing a few last things off the bed that didn’t belong there, Seungjun froze when he caught a glimmer of the bracelet he’d completely forgotten about for some time now. It must’ve just gotten lost in this pile of clothes and towels after he’d used it for Jihun’s makeshift ice pack some time ago. Pulling it out of the pile, Seungjun stared down at the pretty blue hue and the small star-shaped charm that hung off one end in his palm. The boy smiled to himself, a bittersweet feeling arising at the mere sight of, what was at this point, an insignificant trinket. Still, he hadn’t the heart to let it go and cautiously slipped it over his wrist. Only when his phone buzzed again did he regain his senses and check the new text he got from Haeryeong:

> _ “Today’s fine” _
> 
> _ “Let’s meet at the cafe where I got you coffee before, under the school building” _

Something seemed a little strange by her messages, as if it was awkward talking with him. It couldn’t be helped though, since Seungjun was the one who made it awkward between them. But now he was determined to face some of his mistakes and issues. Deep down he knew nothing was going to get better for him if he just sat around here and waited for it all to tide over. Grabbing his wallet and keys, he headed out with a front of confidence.

The campus was pretty quiet on the way over now that school was done for the summer. The quietness as he passed through the streets was actually quite calming. And if there was anything he desperately craved by now, it was some peace. By the time he reached the building, Seungjun felt almost completely relaxed stepping through the door and spotted Haeryeong at a table right away. Pulling out a chair across from her, he flashed a smile with ease and took a seat while she politely greeted him in return.

“It’s been a while…” The girl grinned sweetly though she sounded somewhat nervous. Haeryeong pushed some of her hair behind her ear, looking down at the table and a lone coffee she’d gotten sitting on top.

Surprisingly, Seungjun felt at ease seeing her this time. Maybe it was because everyone else he knew hated him at this point, but he didn’t feel any discomfort talking to Haeryeong now. “Yeah…” Seungjun smiled back and the music playing from the speaker above their little table droned out their awkward silence. Eyeing the girl up and down, he was reminded of how charming she had been. Long, straight hair that framed her poised face and graceful posture, dressed in a simple blouse with the sleeves frilled outward at the ends, Haeryeong was always somewhat ethereal and innocent-looking. Though, her face at the moment read anything but innocent. “You wanted to talk, right? Did you need my help again with something?” He was blunt and his words stale. Though he wasn’t uncomfortable he couldn’t say he was as entirely friendly with the girl as he had been before she kissed him.

Haeryeong shook her head and meekly stared down at her lap at the question. Eyes downcast and expression troubled, the girl sighed and sat up straight. Sucking in a breath, she faced Seungjun properly and explained, “I have to give you something. I know you’ll hate me for it, but I realized I’m fine with that.” Seungjun raised a brow and blinked, confused by what she was getting at. He wanted to speak up and tell her whatever she was going to give him was probably not as horrible as she thought, yet he couldn’t muster up the strength to comfort her anymore. Reaching into her purse hanging off the back of her seat, Haeryeong pulled out something and slid it across the tabletop. When she pulled her hand back into her lap with an anxious demeanor, Seungjun froze up. Sitting there in front of him was the little blue bracelet that matched his own, a tiny star charm hanging off the end just like the one around his wrist right now. Without thinking, Seungjun moved a hand over the bracelet and held it between his fingers, eyes moving in bewilderment between his wrist and the second bracelet Haeryeong had given to him.

“Is this...” Seungjun started but trailed off soon after. He was at a loss for words because he knew exactly what it was.

Haeryeong held her head low and nodded. “It’s the one you got at the vendor… for Jihun.” Her voice was shaky as she admitted to the truth and Seungjun merely stared at her. There were plenty of questions swirling around in his head and the girl quickly answered them before he could even ask. “I felt so hurt after you rejected me that day. When you introduced me to Jihun, that hurt just turned into a feeling of defeat. Right when I thought I could at least start over with you, I realized this...  _ guy  _ was who you meant by the special person that bracelet was for. He was the one your affection was really for.” She breathed in and suppressed the wavering in her voice, lifting her eyes to meet Seungjun’s while she confessed. “I felt embarrassed and hopeless, but the worst of all was how jealous I was. I stupidly hated Jihun because of it and did something horrible.”

Seungjun tensed up the closer she got to explaining why she had this bracelet with her. His chest swelled up and forced him to simply listen to the girl’s disheartening story. She sighed and closed her eyes, completely ashamed. “The day after we last talked, I went to talk to Jihun. I just wanted a clear answer. It was stupid, but I wanted to ask him if he really liked you like I did and whether he really made you happy.” The girl slid her fingers through her hair, slow and careful in order to keep herself calm despite her difficult honesty. “I figured he was with the basketball team from the jersey when we met, so I went to see him during practice and… I didn’t even talk to him in the end. I was angry and jealous the more I thought about him, about the both of you, so I went into the locker room while they were at practice...” Haeryeong brought a hand to her face and held her forehead for a moment, biting her lip in regret. She pushed some more hair back and sat straight, adding, “I found his locker and went through his things without even thinking straight. I found the bracelet and took it. I’m not even sure why, I guess it was because I was jealous and wanted to take you away from him. I did something so stupid and cruel and didn’t even feel bad about it until I ran out when I heard someone coming.”

“That’s why…” Seungjun mumbled, eyes widened from shock at the truth behind the bracelet. This was why Jihun never wore it since then. This was probably also why Inseong even found Jihun’s phone, how Jihun was outed shortly after.

“I know it was a horrible thing to do. I acted like a complete bitch.” Seungjun was surprised at how she swore. He’d never seen her at this low before, even when he’d rejected her so bluntly. Yet, he couldn’t find it in his heart to feel sorry for her. She was the reason why everything bad happened to Jihun after that, why Jihun felt alone and burdened himself with everything the two of them shared until then and especially all the worse events after.

“I deserve that, I know.” Haeryeong smiled at Seungjun with a saddened look in her eyes. Only then did Seungjun realize he was practically scowling at her amidst his thoughts. Quickly the boy leaned on the table and held his face in his hand, hiding away his spiteful gaze. “I didn’t give that back to Jihun right away even though I knew I’d done wrong. I was too afraid of what you’d think of me, how you’d look at me exactly like that…” Haeryeong bit the corner of her lip and looked aside at her coffee cup. “But I saw what happened the other day, at that party.” 

Seungjun nearly flinched at the mention of the party and looked up. “You saw the video?” His voice came out small and pained, like it was a struggle to even sound out the words.

She nodded and continued, “When I saw the video I realized I was being totally stupid and selfish... to both of you. You had to tell the truth to everyone like that when I couldn’t even be honest with you. So I decided I should finally return this to you.” Haeryeong exhaled and squeezed her hands together in her lap. “I’ve accepted the fact you probably hate me now, that we can’t be friends anymore. I deserve that, and you deserved to know everything, at least.”

Then, Seungjun felt a wave of understanding overcome him. Leaning back in his chair, he took a good look at Haeryeong across from him, demeaning and belittling herself because of her guilt. She looked so small and sad and while he didn’t necessarily pity her, he understood everything better now. She’d done something terrible, that was true, but instead of even asking for forgiveness, she was just giving up entirely. Her pride, her hopes and desires, her love, she was throwing it all out the window now for Seungjun’s sake. What was so unsettling about it all was how easily Seungjun related to this girl in front of him, practically begging for the worst out of self-loathing. How Haeryeong was with Seungjun now was exactly how Seungjun had been in regards to Jihun these last few days. Running out on him, avoiding him, not telling him the truth, watching him get hurt without doing anything about it, Seungjun thought he deserved all this pain as a sort of punishment for those awful things he’d done to Jihun. But now he realized and understood better; that Haeryeong’s and his own actions only played a part in what happened, she didn’t deserve to be burdened with all the blame. Now he questioned burdening himself with the blame as well.

“Haeryeong, I don’t hate you.” Seungjun started, voice calm and soft. He didn’t feel like he was choking up from emotions anymore and spoke his mind, “I’m upset about what happened, I’m mad at you for this but... I’m also glad you told me everything.” Seungjun held the bracelet in his palms, limp in his lap as he focused on the girl opening up before him. Haeryeong stared back at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly ajar, seemingly shocked he wasn’t yelling or berating her at all. “I don’t know if we can really be friends again like before, not yet at least. I think I just need some time and maybe later, if you still want, we can start all over again.” The boy flashed a small, sincere smile and let out a hushed airy chuckle. “We’re actually kinda the same, you know? I’ve been acting jealous and stupid for a while now myself…” Seungjun thought of the times he compared himself to Youjin, and especially how little he thought of himself compared to Heejun time and time again. He’d let his emotions get the best of him and now he finally decided he was done with living that way. Taking in a fresh breath, he shortly added, “That’s why I don’t want to see you eating yourself up over this. Let’s both get over this and become better people, okay?” Though, Seungjun blinked and quickly changed his entire character once he realized Haeryeong was tearing up across the table. “No, don’t cry, please. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad I just--”

Haeryeong shook her head and dabbed a finger under her eyes. “No, I’m not sad. It’s because I’m happy.” She laughed to herself and when she felt she looked presentable again, she looked up and radiated a whole new light. “I’m relieved, so I couldn’t help it, sorry…”

A small chuckle escaped Seungjun, “Don’t be, it’s fine.”

Finally smiling, she replied with a muffled “Thanks.” Dabbing at her eyes a bit more, she scooted out of her seat and excused herself, “Do you mind? I need to use the restroom.”

Seungjun nodded and insisted she take care of herself, watching her leave around a corner shortly after. The music was melodic around him, muffled by the sounds from espresso machines and a few other customers chatting among themselves. The boy palmed at his phone in his pocket, thinking about everything he’d just learned from Haeryeong. There was the story she revealed to him, but there was also how she owned up to everything she’d done wrong. There were plenty of people Seungjun knew he hurt and he really started to think about how he should settle things with them as well. Thumb tracing the edge of his clothed phone, he thought of the message he’d seen from Inseong earlier.

“Park Seungjun?” The boy at the table heard his name and spun around to face a guy nearby who called him. Seungjun was silent for a moment because he didn’t recognize the other man at all, yet he seemed to know Seungjun well enough as he and a friend beside him walked over to the table. “I knew it was him, I told you!” He gloated to his friend who nodded and looked Seungjun up and down in wonder.

“Can I help you…?” Seungjun didn’t even try masking his confusion though he did feel a tinge of tension across his skin the longer the two stared with such cheeky grins across their faces.

“We were in the same lit class this semester.” He snickered to his friend, “Though I guess you don’t remember me since you’ve been so busy lately. With your job and whatnot.”

Seungjun frowned once he understood clearly what the guy was getting at. They both probably saw the video and recognized him, though Seungjun was more flustered by the fact they approached him and brought it up to his face. “Is there something you want?” He really didn’t want to deal with a bunch of pricks and their jokes when he was just starting to feel better.

The guy shrugged and looked like he was trying to hold back a smirk behind the fake smile he was giving Seungjun. “Nothing really… Just wanted to see if it really was you.” He looked over at his friend who was busy on his phone, then back at Seungjun. “Hey I know a few guys that might be interested in your ‘services’, want me to send them your way?”

Seungjun glared up at the guy, evidently offended at what he was proposing. “I don’t do stuff like that. I don’t do any of it anymore.” His voice was strained with pain and frustration having to explain himself to these guys.

“Oh, no. Don’t worry. It’s not something to be embarrassed of.” He snickered to his friend, trying and failing to keep a straight face. “Most guys suck some cock for some quick cash. Right?” He looked to his friend who was hardly doing any better to hold in his laughter.

“Totally.” The guy answered with clear sarcasm, though that wasn’t what made Seungjun suddenly much more uncomfortable. Rather, it was the realization that the guy’s friend seemed to be recording this on his phone.

Voice raised in anger, Seungjun looked right at the lens on the phone. “Are you recording me?” When the guys just looked to each other, amused by how emotional Seungjun was getting, the taller boy stood and reached out to try and grab the phone from him.

Though, the guy was too quick and pulled away out of reach. “Woah! You were right, he is a rude one.”

The other boy scoffed, “He always acted like that, even to people older than him.”

“What’s going on?” Haeryeong interrupted before Seungjun could really blow up. She looked from Seungjun to the two guys, entirely lost as she returned to the table. Now Seungjun felt even worse. He didn’t want Haeryeong to have to walk in on something like this but here she was, standing on his other side and winning the attention of everyone at the table. “Seungjun?” She looked to Seungjun for answers that she probably wouldn’t get.

The boy with the phone looked Haeryeong up and down, lovestruck expression plastered on his face. His friend looked about the same, but looked back at Seungjun and asked, “Who’s this? Don’t tell me, she’s your new ‘girlfriend’?”

“No way, she’s out of his league” The boy with the phone scolded his friend. 

Haeryeong looked between them with increasing annoyance. Seungjun could understand why; not only were they a couple of assholes, they were talking about her as if she wasn’t even there. “I’m not Seungjun’s girlfriend...” She finally answered with a soft voice and the two boys looked to her immediately.

“So then you’re single?” The friend with the phone lit up until the other boy elbowed him.

He scoffed, “Like she’d go out with you of all people.”

Seungjun was becoming increasingly annoyed, fist balled at his side with a glare in his eyes directed at the two. “Yeah, I’m single.” Haeryeong interjected and all three boys blinked in surprise at her nonchalant reaction. The girl reached out for her coffee still on the table and took a sip, looking from one guy to the other. “You’re not going to ask for my number?” She pushed some hair back behind her ear and held out her hand, willingly seeking out the guy’s phone.

Flustered and easily shocked, the boy fumbled with his phone and handed it over in complete disbelief. The two stared in awe as she took it and thumbed over the screen, Seungjun frozen in surprise as well. These guys definitely weren’t her type and she was never one to be so forward. Then he remembered how she kissed him and retracted that thought. She could be pretty forward sometimes, with the right people.

“What’s your name?” Haeryeong spoke up as she clicked things on the screen.

The guy blinked and stumbled over his words, “I-It’s Dongmin.”

Haeryeong nodded to herself and smiled, peeling the lid off her coffee in hand. “Well, Dongmin. I hope you and your friend won’t bother Seungjun anymore.” Then in an instant, the girl dropped the phone into her coffee cup, swirling it around in circles for a moment while the two boys looked on in horror.

“What the fuck?!” The poor phone’s owner shouted out and reached out for it until the girl tossed it into a nearby garbage bin. 

“You crazy bitch!” His friend yelled back as they looked down into the black pit of trash, both hesitant to reach in and dig around for it.

She smiled back at Seungjun and pulled him along with shaky hands. “Let’s go. This place sucks.” Ignoring all the profanities the two guys shouted at her backside, she led Seungjun outside where they stopped near a bench. Haeryeong collapsed onto the seat and let out a hefty breath. “I’ve never done something like that before, I can’t stop shaking…” She whined though she clearly didn’t regret what she’d done.

Glancing back the way they came from to the girl in front of him, Seungjun took a seat as well and laughed as she held a hand to her chest and evened her breath. “I never thought you’d do something like that.” He couldn’t help grinning from ear to ear. “Thank you.”

Haeryeong’s eyes darted toward the boy, then to her feet, bashful at hearing his gratitude. “Well… they were being so mean to you. I thought I needed to do something.” Once she calmed down she dropped her hands into her lap and fingered the strap of her purse. “I deleted the video they took, just in case they manage to fish out the phone.”

Seungjun wanted to laugh at that, though he still felt embarrassed by what happened. “So you saw?”

The girl nodded, “Some of it.” She raised her voice and faced Seungjun beside her. “But you know, you’re not a bad guy. You’re the nicest guy I know!” With a smile she comforted him, “I don’t think you did anything wrong. Don’t listen to what people are saying.”

“Thanks…” The words came out like a whisper with how light his voice was now. Seungjun still felt guilty over everything, though now he was beginning to give himself a chance at redemption. Pulling out his phone, he thumbed the dark screen with a nervous grin.

“Have you talked with him?” Haeryeong’s voice surprised the boy. He’d nearly forgotten she was right next to him.

Seungjun lifted his head and stared blankly. “Who?”

“Jihun.” She answered. Seungjun tensed up and looked back at his phone, leaning on his knees. The girl continued, “I figured something was wrong. I hated to admit it before, but you looked so peaceful when you were with him. You were like an entirely different you when mentioning him… I think that was the real Seungjun.” She smiled, twiddling her fingers tightly in her lap and looking up at the clear sky. “I think it’s only with Jihun that you can be yourself.” When the boy took a glance at her, she quickly added, “I mean, I don’t know you very well so I might be getting ahead of myself, but--”

“No, I think you’re right.” Seungjun grinned and sat upright. Clicking his phone on and off a few times, he nodded to himself and stood up. “You’re right… thank you.” This time his gratitude sounded nothing less than genuine because it really was from the bottom of his heart. She and Youjin had both told him how much happier he looked with Jihun. He’d never really noticed it himself, but now he started to figure how true it must’ve been. Truly, he did feel so much happiness even thinking of Jihun. There were a lot of troubling things that tore him up inside, but none of it could surmount to how wonderful he felt being with Jihun and making him happy. Maybe it was selfish, but he wanted to make himself happy again. He really did want to be with Jihun again, as his whole and honest self.

Seungjun started off down the road, waving back. “I’ll see you again Haeryeong! I’ve got something I need to take care of.”

The girl scooted to the edge at the abrupt parting, but didn’t stop him. Instead she beamed his way and called out after him, “Good luck!” Maybe she thought he was going to talk to Jihun and it would’ve been a reasonable assumption. Though, Seungjun was still much too afraid to talk to Jihun just yet, not with his mind still clouded with so many bad memories and regrets. Tucking his phone into his pocket, his fingertips grazed the bracelet stuffed inside. Then he was reminded of what he told Jihun when he gave the little gift to him; of how Jihun could have a little part of Seungjun with him. Now it was the opposite. The bracelet in his pocket was like having a little piece of Jihun with him, and it was exactly what he needed in order to do what he intended at that moment.

Approaching a big, old door, Seungjun knocked on the hard exterior. It hurt his knuckles, but his bit back the pain and let out a nervous breath once the door opened. A man he didn’t know faced him from the doorway, though he expected that much. With a raised brow, the guy looked him up and down with obvious antipathy.

“What do  _ you _ want?” It was clear the guy remembered and hated Seungjun alright.

Though the tall boy didn’t deter and answered, “Is Inseong here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well..... i was planning on only having one more chapter but i got to nearly 10k and realized having a 20k+ chapter wouldn't be a good idea lmao so i'm splitting it again... ㅠㅠ  
> tbh this one was a lot harder to write probably because i wasn't sure where to even start. a lot of it is just seungjun's thoughts and developing how he needs to love and accept himself so i guess that was why it was harder to figure out what i liked. i wrote so many parts of this so many times and was super picky about dialogue it was a struggle with myself lmao
> 
> next one will definitely be the last though. hopefully i can pump it out a lot faster than this one. the end is so close it feels pretty surreal.. what will i do when it's over. ㅜㅜ


	12. Last Call

Seungjun was certain this guy in front of him could’ve killed him with just his glare. And luckily before Seungjun’s life was cut short and after a few nervous gulps, the man rolled his eyes and turned around. “Fine. Come in.” He waved with little concern toward Seungjun before disappearing upstairs somewhere. Standing there quiet and alone for a moment, Seungjun started to really feel the reality of the situation before him: he’d come to Inseong’s place to talk to Inseong and reconcile… with  _ Inseong _ . The thought would probably never have crossed his mind just a week ago and yet here he was in a house where every resident despised Seungjun looking for some forgiveness. Honestly, Seungjun didn’t care much for Inseong or any of these other guys’ forgiveness, but rather wanted to just get everything off his chest. All he wanted at this point was to right the wrongs he’d done to them for some time now out of resentment.

Soon the stairs creaked and Inseong had stopped halfway down the moment he met eyes with the man waiting for him in the foyer. Unsure of whether to smile or not, or if he even could for that matter, Seungjun looked away and shoved his hands into his pockets. Fingering the loose threads inside, Seungjun bit his lip and grinned just so slightly out of politeness.

“I got your message…” Seungjun started, eyes darting between the guy and the floor, never looking at Inseong long enough to notice his expression. “I think we should talk.”

There was a brief silence and then a soft sigh before Inseong headed down the rest of the steps. “I didn’t really mean in person but it’ll work I guess…” Walking past Seungjun, the two didn’t even look at each other when Inseong beckoned his guest over toward another room. “Don’t just stand there all weird like that, you’re making me uncomfortable.”

Seungjun frowned momentarily before following along, sitting on a chair opposite the couch Inseong slumped into. Now that Seungjun finally got a good look at him, the guy seemed so relaxed, like this whole conversation wasn’t awkward at all. Like it didn’t matter. And maybe it didn’t matter to Inseong at this point, anything Seungjun did or said probably wouldn’t matter, yet Seungjun still wanted to try and talk. After all, Inseong was the one who reached out to him first.

The two just sat there for a while, neither having the nerve to speak up and get to the point first. Seungjun just wasn’t sure how to put his whirlwind of thoughts and emotions into words just yet. He’d rashly rushed over here without a plan and now it seemed to be backfiring on him. With each second of silence, Seungjun convinced himself more and more just how he needed to say anything at least.

Then, Seungjun cleared his throat and sat upright on the edge of the cushion, hands rubbing slowly as a distraction in his lap. “Well… about what happened…” He bit his lip and thought carefully. How was he supposed to start when he wasn’t even sure where to begin?

Though quickly Inseong caught on and sat up as well, another sigh escaping him. “Look, I can guess what you’re here about.” Seungjun choked up, eyes flashing up at Inseong for once. He finally realized just how anxious the guy looked across from him, fingers combing through and rubbing at the ends of his hair. “And… I’m sorry about what happened. It wasn’t right, posting that video of you... and all those things people are saying about you.” Seungjun blinked in confusion. Is that really why Inseong wanted to talk? Did he really think Seungjun was here to demand some apology for something that he didn’t even have a direct hand in? Before he could interrupt, Inseong continued, fingers rubbing at his temple, “Things got out of hand and I jumped to conclusions without really knowing what was going on. It was stupid.” Inseong leaned back in his seat and looked down at the stained coffee table between them both. It was barren aside from the dusty glass that mirrored their reflections and Inseong didn’t take his eyes off it. “I just thought you actually were cheating on Jihun. And I just can’t stand the thought of people cheating on someone who loves them. Well, I thought you two were actually in love in the first place and after all the shit between us I couldn’t stand the thought of you treating Jihun like that.”

Seungjun naturally cut in, “Because only you can treat him like crap?” Then he immediately regretted his words and held his head low, fingers combing through the top of his skull in frustration. “Sorry, it’s just…” He didn’t come here to keep them on bad terms and yet here he was, making the situation worse like usual.

“No, I get it.” Inseong looked away and leaned on the arm rest, slouched back against the seat lazily. “I was kind of acting like an asshole to him. But after the two of us talked the other night and I found out about you two, how you guys were really, I thought about it more and realized what a terrible friend I’ve been.” Inseong’s lips curved upward but his eyes still fell onto the table, lost behind a thin, distant veil of thought. “I only thought about myself and took things out on him because I’ve known him so long. It’s just… I don’t know, I never thought what I said was a big deal before he blew up like that.”

Seungjun cocked a brow and asked, “So you really never thought calling him a loser was a big deal?”

Inseong frowned. “I don’t think I’ve ever called him a loser before.”

“You sure treated him like one.” Seungjun muttered. He knew this wasn’t helping but he couldn’t help it. A part of him still felt the instinct to fight for Jihun when he wasn’t there.

Looking away again, Inseong pursed his lips before leaning forward on his knees. “Yeah I guess I did. But Jihun’s still my friend. I don’t hate him, really.” Picking at his nails for a moment, Inseong looked up at the other boy with what seemed like honesty for once. “I really am sorry about what happened to him and all the shit he went through, you know?”

Inevitably, Seungjun resituated himself in his seat and looked away because of the sudden discomfort that washed over him. He’d never seen this side of Inseong, even when the guy had opened up and spilled his secrets to Seungjun the other night. Then again, Seungjun had always looked at Inseong with eyes clouded by animosity that he’d never really took what Inseong had to say to heart. Now the guy was being earnest and Seungjun was finally listening, increasingly mad at himself for reacting so immaturely until now. “That might be something you should tell Jihun instead of me…” He mumbled and glanced up at the guy while clearing his throat. He wasn’t going to choke up this time or shy away from what he needed to say for once. “Actually… you know… I should be the one apologizing.”

Inseong looked up and blinked, a short breathy chuckle whisping away from his lips. “What?”

The guy was in disbelief, Seungjun could tell that much. In fact, he couldn’t believe what he was doing right now himself. Yet, he breathed in and sucked it up. “I always got on your case for being a dick to Jihun but I was probably just as bad.” Seungjun leaned back in his seat, the fake leather squeaking under him while his fingers tapped on the arm rests. Anything to drain his nervousness from being so open to someone, especially someone who hated him. “I only got to know Jihun because I was using him. It was like you said; I was just using him to get to someone else.” Seungjun bit his lip and furrowed his brow as his trail of thoughts became clearer. “But back then I convinced myself I wasn’t like you because eventually I didn’t care about that person anymore. I was trying to convince myself that everything I did and said was okay because I called Jihun my friend.”

At that, Inseong rubbed at his neck and nodded to himself, lips shut tight at Seungjun’s revelation. It was probably a harsh reminder at how Inseong had been acting all this time as well. They both started to come to grips with how alike they were, how stupid they’d both been. “But you know, at some point…” Seungjun continued, looking down at the table now as well. “When I got to know him better and we actually became friends, I… I did like him. I meddled into his life because I cared but he didn’t know that and… I’m not sure what I’m saying anymore, sorry.” Seungjun held his head in his hand and exhaled faintly. Looking back to Inseong, pupils shaky from how nervous he was admitting to all this out loud, Seungjun breathed in again and added, “I guess I’m just trying to say that I’m sorry to you because I took everything out on you. I was frustrated with myself and the things I couldn’t say or do and blew things between you guys out of proportion. I just compared myself to you to make myself feel better about how I was with Jihun.”

“Wow, thanks.” Inseong scoffed, though when Seungjun got a look at his face the guy looked almost embarrassed in a way. He wasn’t acting haughty or scornful, but regretful. “To be honest, Seungjun… I didn’t think you’d even bother apologizing for any of this. I just thought I was the one who was an asshole this whole time.” Inseong peered at the other across the table and muttered, “Of course I thought you were a dick after everything you did to me…”

“Sorry…” Seungjun shied away, leaning on his knees and staring at his feet below. “I shouldn’t have broken your phone… or your nose… or gotten you suspended.”

“It was probation and yeah it sucked. Actually, I’m still pretty pissed about it.” Inseong corrected and watched as Seungjun’s shoulders tensed up. Still, Inseong sighed and fingered at the ends of his hair again. “But hey, I got a new phone, my nose is fine, and Jihun had his moment of glory or whatever.” With a small, almost despondent laugh, Inseong held both hands in his lap and shrugged, “It was nice getting a break for once, that’s for sure. This whole semester’s been ridiculous.”

At that, Seungjun let out a chuckle a beat too late and the two laughed to themselves at the awkward tension. Then Seungjun nodded and added, “Yeah it’s been crazy these last few weeks alright…”

Then, the sound of clapping won both the boys’ attention as they looked to the archway Heejun was leaning against. Applauding them with a cheeky smile, the boy swallowed whatever snack he was chewing on and interjected, “Sounds like that’s about it huh? You guys made up?”

Inseong rolled his eyes and grabbed a pillow to throw the kid’s way before realizing he didn’t want to risk knocking Heejun’s drink nearby onto the ground by accident. Instead, he scoffed and crossed his arms across the pillow. “Are you a parasite or something? Why are you just hanging around while we’re having a private conversation?”

“Please,” Heejun furrowed his brow and glared back at his friend. “You’re talking in our living room, how do you expect someone  _ not _ to walk in on your business?”

Groaning, Inseong muttered something else before Seungjun stuttered, “Well, I don’t think we’re best friends or anything but…” He glanced back at Inseong, then grinned softly at Heejun snacking across the room. “I don’t think we’re on bad terms or anything now at least.”

Heejun nodded to himself, eyes wide and lips pursed as he chewed. Grinning back once he swallowed, the boy looked from one to the other proudly. “Good. That’s a start.” He looked to Seungjun and shrugged, “I didn’t expect you guys to be friends anyway, Inseong doesn’t have any friends.”

This time the pillow did go flying his way and smacked Heejun right in the side of the face. While the kid rubbed at the sore spot, trying to get himself back together, Inseong shouted, “What does that make you then, huh?”

Heejun frowned with a childish pout and threw the pillow back. “I’m your babysitter!” The kid rolled his eyes and complained to Seungjun, “Seriously, I should get paid for how much I have to take care of this guy and clean up his messes…”

Seungjun watched on with a quiet fondness. Heejun was as bright as ever even as the two bickered. Before they knew it, Heejun had already joined Inseong on the couch, plopping down with his bag of chips or crackers or whatever it was in hand. “So… are we all hanging out tonight or…” Heejun looked from Inseong to Seungjun, voicing the slight confusion that lingered in both boys’ minds about what to do now.

Then for some reason, an urge hit Seungjun. A desperate voice grew loud in his head until he blurted it out, “Heejun… Can I ask you something?”

Heejun blinked, caught in the middle of licking the dust from his snacks off his fingers when he answered, “Shoot.”

Seungjun could tell Heejun was somewhat confused yet curious, and now that Seungjun brought it up he started to feel himself choke up. Though, he quickly suppressed that numbing feeling and leaned forward on his knees, fingers tangling and brushing together in anxiety. “I just… I think I’m a little… confused. I don’t really know how I should deal with everything.” Seungjun cleared his throat, staring at his hands all the while. “What would you do in this situation?” He knew the question was abrupt and possibly weird to ask so straightforwardly, but if anyone could help him with his Jihun problems it had to be Heejun. Honestly, Seungjun had never even asked Youjin let alone anyone else because he wasn’t sure they’d really understand his problems. Heejun on the other hand had that experience. Even if he’d directed his help to Jihun that time he’d visited Seungjun’s place a week ago, the offer was still open to Seungjun too, right? At least, that’s all he hoped as he opened his mouth and practically begged the guy for some advice on guys.

With a hum dragging across his throat, Heejun thought for a moment on the question itself before saying, “Uh… You mean about Jihun?” When Seungjun nodded sheepishly, Heejun sat up straight and hummed again. The boy was clearly trying to make Seungjun more comfortable about the topic as sudden as it was. After a moment, Heejun crumpled up his empty snack bag and looked straight to Seungjun. “Well, there was a time years ago when I dated this guy--”

“Wait, you’re gay?” Inseong cut in quickly with a shocked expression all over his face. The two seemed to have nearly forgotten he was still there when they turned to look at him.

Heejun rolled his eyes and shot a judgemental look his friend’s way. “Kind of, but it really took you that long?” He scoffed, “Exactly what I said. I’m more like your babysitter than your friend…”

Inseong frowned before standing up. Excusing himself, he muttered back at Heejun and patted him on the shoulder in passing, “We can talk later. You guys should have some privacy.”

“Inseong, it’s no big deal-- Nevermind.” Heejun called out until the guy was out of sight. Shaking his head with a hefty sigh, Heejun smirked back at Seungjun. “A guy like him just doesn’t know how to handle relationship problems I guess.” When he snickered at Inseong’s expense, Seungjun felt himself settling into a smile as well. Likely for the first time, Seungjun was grateful to Inseong. Now he felt himself opening up more easily with Heejun explaining himself only to Seungjun.

“Anyways, I was dating this guy for a while but he was the type who was in the closet even while we were dating.” Fumbling with the plastic bag in his hands, Heejun stared off and continued the story more quietly, “I didn’t care back then whether people knew or not. I still don’t, really, but he was just so… paranoid about people knowing all the time. This was in high school you know? Everyone’s in everybody’s business so eventually it got around that we were together and…” Heejun bit his lip for a second and for once Seungjun could see the young, vulnerable kid in his eyes. He’d always thought of Heejun as mature for his age; Heejun was someone who had everything together and could handle anything confidently. Hell, Seungjun was older than this kid but was still here seeking his advice. Rather than seeming sad or pitiful, Seungjun saw Heejun as the younger kid he was for the first time, and it was actually a nice sight to see for once.

With a deep sigh, Heejun slouched in the couch cushions and rubbed at his shoulder. “People found out but he just pinned it all on me like I was just the weirdo with a creepy crush on him. Of course I had to go my whole last year of school with some jokes while he graduated and ran away from it all.”

“That… sounds horrible.” Seungjun peered at the kid across from him, unable to find much else to say that would suit the situation.

Heejun nodded a few times before smacking at the side of his neck lightly, as if stretching some sore muscles. “I had some bad days because of it but it wasn’t the bullying or mocking or disgust some of my classmates reacted with that was painful. The fact he was with me and told me things like it’d be us against the world, how he loved me and kept giving me hope we’d have a great future together…” Heejun smiled, staring off at the crumpled bag in his fist again. “Then just dropping me when things got bad and leaving me behind to deal with it all alone. That was the worst. That’s what left a scar. He made me question whether it was even right for me to like guys and for a while I tried ignoring that part of me because of it.” The boy laughed to himself and shook his head. “It was stupid and now I’m getting off-track here but what I’m trying to say is don’t run away. Don’t just leave Jihun even if you think you both would be better off by yourselves. It sucks being alone when something painful happens.”

Seungjun bit the corner of his lip and furrowed his brow, worry written all over his face. “You don’t think Jihun’s really going through all that right now, do you? Should I try to talk to him right now?”

“Jihun? Probably not.” Heejun stood up and stretched his arms, moseying over toward Seungjun before patting the guy’s tense shoulder. “Look Seungjun. We’re in college now, this isn’t high school. Jihun’s probably got other stuff to worry about I don’t think he’d be  _ that _ hung up over you.” For some reason, those words didn’t come off as consoling as Heejun probably hoped they’d be. Yet, Seungjun did find himself calmed down, reassured about fixing things with Jihun. Until Heejun’s hand drifted away and Seungjun caught him gazing down at him with troubled eyes. “Unless…”

Seungjun blinked, his chest weighed down with pressure at the sudden change in atmosphere. “Unless?” What the hell did Heejun mean by that?

Heejun sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of Seungjun and leaned forward on his knees, nervously whispering, “Unless you guys had sex already.” Heejun’s large eyes beamed right through Seungjun with chilling intent. “That could complicate things…”

Seungjun froze in his spot and looked away out of embarrassment and fear. It’s not like he even went all the way with Jihun anyway, they just made out and stopped before it got too far. It didn’t even matter if they did something, right? There was no way Jihun would hold that against him. They only fooled around a bit, so everything could still be fixed like they hadn’t at all, Seungjun thought.  _ Unless _ . Seungjun scolded himself for thinking of that cursed word. Heejun had more experience in this kind of stuff after all, if even he was making a point of it then maybe Seungjun should mention something about his and Jihun’s little venture for the proper advice.

“We kind of--”

“I’m kidding!” Heejun joked, though his cheeky grin quickly faded when he realized what Seungjun had started to say. “Wait… did you…”

Seungjun swore his whole face was burning up before he quickly hid it in the palms of his hands. “No! No, nothing like that, we just…” He trailed off. There was no way he was going to say he got a blowjob from Jihun to Heejun of all people.

“Oh my god Seungjun I was joking, I just wanted to see your reaction.” Heejun grinned wide, guilty about knowing too much but also finding the whole situation hilarious. Reaching out, he patted the guy’s shoulder again and comforted him the best he could, “Don’t worry about it, I won’t tell anyone. I’ll just try to forget it.” A chortle escaped him as he muttered, “But right now I’m just a little impressed to say the least.” Whatever Heejun thought Seungjun and Jihun did was probably far from the truth, but Seungjun didn’t have the composure or openness to really explain the details at that moment. Instead he just sat there, wishing anything could come and end his own life until the embarrassment wore off.

It was a few hours later as he was lying limp in bed while music played softly across his room that Seungjun started thinking over what Heejun said. Not the embarrassing comments on his sex life, but the earnest advice the guy had given him earlier that evening. Against his better judgement and Heejun’s advice, Seungjun sat on his bed staring at his phone in temptation. Thumbing over the name and call button, the boy bit his lip in thought. How Jihun was feeling right now had him worried. He didn’t want to imagine Jihun feeling alone and afraid with no one to hear him out like Heejun had described earlier. Yet, Seungjun still tried to convince himself that Jihun was probably better off with some space and time to himself. There was a lot more on Jihun’s plate than just Seungjun and their murky future, the kid was probably preoccupied at the moment. But the boy couldn’t help wondering, as he read and reread the ‘ _ My Husband _ ’ on his screen dozens of times, if Jihun was even feeling a fraction of how Seungjun felt that it’d be worth finally calling and checking up on him.

Breath hitched as he clicked the call button, Seungjun swallowed a lump in his throat and rested the phone against his ear. The phone rang three, four times before a pause and Seungjun shot up in his bed. He didn’t have the time to think about what to say or how to answer Jihun when he picked up and now he was panicking. Gripping tight onto the bed sheets, Seungjun found his whole body loosen up and relax once Jihun’s generic voicemail answered instead. When the phone beeped for him to record his message, Seungjun left the phone against his cheek, fingers curling tight around the edges of his phone in thought. Still unsure of what to say, Seungjun shortly ended the call and stared back at the device as it sat in his lap. Maybe Jihun really was busy and couldn’t get to the phone in time. Maybe he’d call back when he noticed Seungjun had tried calling. Or maybe, Seungjun mulled over the thought, the kid just didn’t want to talk to Seungjun at all and rejected him. Either way, Seungjun wasn’t sure he had the heart to try again and bit his lip. 

With an aggravated sigh, the boy flopped back onto his bed and groaned when his head hit the pillow. Arms splayed across the width of his bed, Seungjun stared up at the dusty ceiling once again, phone cold and still on his stomach. He was somewhat glad Jihun didn’t answer just then. He was being impulsive and choked up at the mere thought of having to talk to the kid again. Just hearing Jihun’s voice, sure Seungjun would’ve been beyond delighted, but he would’ve been even more distraught than he already was lying there like a dead man in bed. Seungjun desperately wanted what he’d say to Jihun to be everything he wanted to say all this time, in the best way possible. Calling him out of the blue certainly wouldn’t help, and in that regard Seungjun took a deep breath. The only way to do this right and to get over all his worries and self-doubts would be to see Jihun in person. Hopefully, his dreams would offer some good ideas on what to say when he sought out Jihun tomorrow.

Seungjun wasn’t woken up by an alarm on his phone or the music he’d left on all night. Unfortunately, he wasn’t even woken up by the delectable aroma of Youjin’s home-made breakfast. Instead, he was woken up by the laughter and yelling of kids just outside his door. Rubbing his eyes at the sudden noise and light disturbing his exhausted body, the tired boy swore he heard the kids calling out for their parents, clunky footsteps pounding across the wooden floorboards back and forth down the hall. For a moment in his daze, Seungjun thought he’d actually been asleep for years and was waking up to an apartment full of Youjin and Hyein’s kids. Though after some time for his mind to catch up with his body, Seungjun realized it must’ve been Youjin’s family visiting. Seungjun groaned at the thought. He didn’t expect them to be here a whole day early. Sure their graduation ceremony was in the morning the next day, but they really couldn’t have come at night? Youjin at least could’ve given him a bit more of a warning.

And speak of the devil, Seungjun’s roommate came bursting into his room with wide, stressed eyes. Seungjun had hardly ever seen his friend look the way he did now, once being when he’d forgotten the time for a midterm and missed it completely, and it was somewhat unsettling.

“They came early…” Youjin sounded exasperated as he shut the door behind him. Combing some loose hair back, he sighed and scrunched his eyes. “I can try taking them out around campus so you can have time to--”

“Youjin…” Seungjun groggily interrupted and cleared his throat once he realized how dry it was. Scratching at his bed hair, the tired boy slipped out of his bed and started rummaging for some clothes. “It’s fine, I showered last night. You should let them rest a bit. Didn’t they drive like ten hours to get here?”

Youjin rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against the door. “They live two hours away but I guess if you’re okay with it…” It was quiet as Youjin watched Seungjun slip off his pants and slide his legs into some jeans, back to his roommate. “You sure you’re okay?” Youjin’s voice lightened up when he asked, Seungjun shooting a curious glance his way right after.

“Yeah, it’s fine. At least you told me they were coming yesterday or I might’ve punched you right now.” Seungjun joked with a small smirk, making a fist briefly before slipping the old t-shirt he’d worn to bed off his body.

Hand fumbling with the doorknob beside him, Youjin sighed and shook his head. “I didn’t mean that, I meant with… well, everything going on with you.” His eyes softened when Seungjun blinked back at him with some confusion, then bashfulness. Youjin’s fingers twisted the doorknob back and forth, “I might not be the best person you can talk to about what you’re going through since I don’t really get it myself, but you  _ can _ talk to me. You know that, right?”

Seungjun stood straight, facing his roommate before casting his eyes down at the shirt he was fumbling with in his hands. It was probably big enough to slip over his head, but Seungjun stood there unfastening each button at a snail’s pace, nodding at Youjin’s words. Then, the boy stopped halfway and looked up, a small upturn of his lips brightening his whole expression. Shuffling over, Seungjun reached out and clung onto Youjin’s arm attached to his door handle, snuggling against his friend’s shoulder and cooing, “When did you become such a big softie?” He chuckled a bit until pulling back slightly and squeezing Youjin’s bicep in awe. “Emphasis on  _ big _ .”

Rolling his eyes, Youjin held back a laugh behind his expression of disgust and managed to win his arm back after some struggling. “I said I could listen to you not be your human teddy bear.”

“Oh my god… that’s the most accurate description I’ve ever heard about you.” Seungjun looked his friend up and down, mouth hung open in awe while he nodded to himself. “You really are a teddy bear. Did you come up with that yourself? Or does Hyein call you that?” Before Seungjun could ramble on any further, Youjin opened the door and slipped back outside to join his family again and drag his brothers off some of the furniture before they broke something. Though, not before Seungjun peeked through the doorway and grinned wide with confidence. “Don’t worry though, I’m going to fix everything.”

Youjin paused behind the door and smiled himself, before a small chuckle escaped and he left down the hall. “Just make sure you put a shirt on first!” He called back and Seungjun shut the door shortly after in embarrassment. Cleaning himself up better and throwing his pale blue button-up on, tucking the extra ends of the front into his jeans, Seungjun took one last look in the mirror. Inhaling and exhaling long takes of air, Seungjun rolled up his sleeves and grabbed his wallet, keys, and phone before heading out. Luckily Youjin’s family didn’t really bother to stop and talk with him for long, probably because they were too busy scolding Youjin for how messy the kitchen was for their standards, and Seungjun managed to get out of the apartment and catch a bus in no time. Seungjun was focused and the least distractions on his way to Jihun’s the better.

In no time Seungjun found himself outside Jihun’s apartment, dragging one foot after the other up the rickety steps until he was faced with the kid’s door. The hallway was quiet and hot, or maybe that was just because of the nerves he tried so hard to suppress. Yet, seconds later his knuckles knocked against the door with several loud thumps, his breath finally evened out and mind clear for when Jihun would answer.

A moment passed, then another minute and Seungjun knocked again. Still, there was no answer or even a sound from inside. Jihun’s place was small and this building was so old the kid was bound to make some noise if he’d heard how loudly Seungjun was banging on his door. Stepping away, Seungjun pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts. Finger hovering over Jihun’s name, he soon clicked it and held it to his ear, only to be answered with the kid’s voicemail again. Seungjun grumbled and frowned at his phone screen. What the hell could that kid be doing right when Seungjun was willing and ready to sort things out with him?

Breathing in once or twice, the boy collected himself and scrolled through some more names. Maybe he should call Heejun and ask him about where Jihun might be. Then again, it wasn’t like Heejun and Jihun were really  _ that  _ close. If anyone would know it’d be…

Seungjun clicked on the name and held the phone to his ear. The conversation might be awkward, but Seungjun didn’t care at this point. The longer he went on without knowing what or how Jihun was doing after the last few days they didn’t talk the more determined he became to see Jihun again. And if that meant calling someone who probably really didn’t want to talk to him at the moment, then so be it.

The phone clicked as a husky voice answered, “Hello…?”

Seungjun could tell just from her voice she wasn’t expecting a call from him of all people and so the boy grinned with trembling lips unsure of what to say. “Hey, Yuji…” He wasn’t sure what he should say to the girl, yet here he was, talking to her for the first time since Heejun’s birthday party. All he could think of was her disappointed face as she pushed him away and ran out, but there was something inside him that still fluttered hearing her sweet voice again regardless. “I know you probably don’t want to talk to me again, but can you just hear me out for a second?”

There was a brief pause, then Yuji’s calm response, “Alright. What is it?”

Seungjun bit his lip and swallowed a lump in his throat. Making up with Inseong and talking with Heejun or Youjin was a million times easier than this was. Even talking to Haeryeong, as awkward and uncomfortable as he’d been with her until then, seemed like a breeze now that his mind swirled with all the things he could be saying to Yuji at the moment. Instead of anything sensible, Seungjun finally blurted out, “I’m sorry about everything. I was lying to you. And to Dahye. I acted like a dick and hurt all of you because I wasn’t honest…” The boy trailed off, scatterbrained for words and coherent sentences.

Then Yuji cut in and surprised him shortly after, “Seungjun… were you really lying about everything?”

Seungjun blinked and resituated the phone in his sweaty palm. “What do you mean?”

“You lied about dating Jihun and all that, but…” She paused and mumbled, “Were you really not honest when you asked me about Jihun liking you?”

“I--” Seungjun started, though wasn’t sure how to continue. “That was…”

At a loss for words, Yuji continued instead. “The way you asked me that day, I felt it. I could tell how much you really did care for him.” Seungjun felt himself going red from her revelation. He never realized he was so obvious about everything until recently. At this point everyone and their friends knew he liked Jihun except Jihun himself. The girl added from the other side, “Even after the party I didn’t think you were really a liar. I told you before, no one’s perfect.” She let out a short, breathy laugh and Seungjun could practically feel her smile through the phone. “I didn’t mean to give you the cold shoulder but I was a bit upset you know? I didn’t know what to think then…” Seungjun held his breath while she hummed. “Then I thought about it some more and about that time we talked and thought about what I said… That as long as you love him back and… I forgot the rest.” She laughed a few times to herself on the other side and Seungjun grinned softly to himself.

Staring off at his feet as he leaned against the railing beside the stairs, Seungjun mumbled, “Pick up the pieces… I think.”

“Ah! Yeah that was it.”

Seungjun breathed out a little chuckle. “Actually, that’s kind of why I called you.” When the girl responded with a simple hum, Seungjun cleared his throat and asked, “I went to Jihun’s place but he’s not here… And he’s not answering my calls.”

“Oh, that…” She interjected and Seungjun lit up.

“What do you mean?”

Yuji hummed, “Well…” She started and hesitated before explaining, “Dahye and I were with him after the party, but ever since then he hasn’t talked to us either. He won’t even answer Dahye’s calls.”

Seungjun started to worry, “You’ve seen him at least, right?”

There was a pause and Yuji sighed lightly. “I haven’t. The last time Dahye saw him was days ago at work but he said he was quitting soon for the summer.” Seungjun choked up at that detail. There wasn’t anything wrong with Jihun, was there? “And then he said he wanted to be alone for a while and she hasn’t seen him since.”

“Alone? Where is he then?” Seungjun stood straight, anxiety washing over him in powerful waves.

Yuji answered with uncertainty, “I’m not really sure. I thought he’d be at home, but…” Then, she lit up and added, “Though he did say something about wanting to go someplace just for himself… or something like that.”

“Like a hideout?” Seungjun interrupted, speaking his mind to himself rather than to the girl on the other side.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Yuji mumbled in thought, “He’s probably out eating his feelings or whatever. He’ll be fine, you shouldn’t worry about him too much. He’s coming to see Dahye graduate tomorrow anyway so…”

Seungjun was too busy thinking to really process what she was saying, though he quickly shot up when something clicked in his mind. Rushing down the stairs, Seungjun left the apartment building and spoke loudly over the phone as he headed down the hill toward the nearest bus stop. “I have to go Yuji, but thank you!” He practically shouted as his steps hastened across the pavement, grin wide and bright across his face. When he reached the bottom of the hill, the boy stopped in place and caught his breath for a moment before asking, “Hey Yuji, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

As confused as she likely was, the girl chuckled a bit to herself and cooed in a playful tone, “Maybe~” When he hung up soon after, Seungjun couldn’t stop smiling. Things seemed alright with Yuji again and that was great, but really the boy was more excited about catching the next bus to campus. He knew where Jihun was and the realization felt like it activated some sort of timer to get to him. He couldn’t wait for graduation day even if it was just a day away, for a mere chance at seeing him again. No, Seungjun needed to see Jihun now, just the two of them, and let everything out.

Each stop was irritating on his patience, but after the fourth stop Seungjun stepped off and faced the gym across the street. Passing down the sidewalk toward the entrance and through the half-empty gym floor still lingering with the stench of sweat, Seungjun was unbothered by everything around him as he glided toward the door down the hall to the small courtyard nearby. His hand pushed the heavy door open with a breeze though his feet quickly weighed too heavy to step forward once he caught sight of the bench across the way. The bench he’d had lunch at so many times, the quiet secluded place Jihun found peace with Seungjun for some time. Lying there with his back across the long metallic seat was Jihun, faced away from Seungjun as he flipped the page in the book he was holding up above him. He looked so calm and tranquil Seungjun almost didn’t want to disturb him. Almost. After taking the sight in for a moment and steadying his breath, Seungjun stepped forward until Jihun squirmed slightly and sat up. 

Saving his place, the kid closed the book and froze when he spotted Seungjun just a few steps away. Gently pulling an earbud out of his head, Jihun mumbled breathlessly, “Seungjun?” God it felt good to hear Jihun say his name again. Though the two just stared for a while. Seungjun nodded, as if affirming it was really him and the kid wasn’t going delusional. Jihun wrapped his fingers around the spine of the book in his lap, pulling out the other earbud and furrowing his brow while he stared in what had to be a mix of surprise and confusion.

The taller boy cleared his throat and trailed closer with caution, as if Jihun would scurry away if he came off too strongly. “H-Hey… Jihun.” He stumbled over his words and nearly over his feet as well before he stopped in place an arm’s length away from the bench. “How’ve you been?” He’d been thinking about seeing and talking with Jihun and this was the best he could do at the moment? Seungjun scolded himself internally.

After wrapping his headphones around his phone, Jihun tucked it away and stood as well, face to face with Seungjun and clearly just as awkward. “I’m alright, I guess…” His eyes blinked and looked to the side, avoiding Seungjun’s glance like usual when he was nervous. “And you? How’d you know I was here?”

“I took a wild guess…” It was clear this conversation wasn’t going places and Seungjun bit his lip. Ignoring the question about himself altogether, the taller boy looked down and noticed the book in his hands. “Isn’t that the one I lent you?” He blinked and lit up, voice brighter and back to its natural tone at the pleasant surprise.

Jihun looked from the book to Seungjun and held it out toward the guy. “Ah, yeah. I was trying to finish them this week so I could give them back. Here.”

“You didn’t finish it?” Seungjun reached out and held the book in his hands, eyes clear and somewhat disappointed at the thought of Jihun giving it back without finishing.

The younger boy stared back for a moment before looking away bashfully. Flustered once he realized how long their hands had been grazing both holding such a small novel, Jihun shoved his hands into his pockets and shrugged. “I could kind of guess what happens anyway.”

Nodding quietly, Seungjun slowly brought the book closer to himself and eyed the creased spine and the dusty pages. He was taking care of the books poorly like usual. Seungjun laughed once to himself. Jihun must’ve made a pretty crappy librarian if this was how he was with books all the time.

“What?” Jihun blinked back, confused by the other’s laughter.

Seungjun snapped out of it and let the book hang at his side. “Ah it’s nothing…” He was flustered and then he furrowed his brows, shaking his head once or twice. “Actually, there is something. Something I wanted to tell you…”

A breeze rolled by, wisping through the trees strong enough to make plenty of noise. Jihun hunched his shoulders and fought back a chill. “Well do it quick. I was about to leave since it’s going to rain soon.” He held his palm up then quickly shoved it back into his pocket while eyeing the sky above them. “I felt a few drops a second ago.”

Now Seungjun started to feel the pressure. This was important to him yet it seemed like he was just wasting Jihun’s time. Maybe the kid had already moved on, given up on Seungjun who had just been a lost cause and a tease for so long. Or maybe he just didn’t want to talk to Seungjun at all still. His broad shoulders were tense and seemingly smaller, his eyes elsewhere while he stood there leaning from one side to the other in wait to hear what Seungjun came here for.

Maybe Jihun didn’t want to or wasn’t ready to talk but Seungjun was. “Jihun, about everything that’s happened…” He started and his fingers clenched tightly around the book at his side. “I… I feel bad about everything that happened to you since I met you. I let other people hurt you, but I hurt you even worse. I screwed around with you for so long and I knew it was wrong but I kept hurting you.” Seungjun noticed Jihun looking down at the ground, shifting his weight onto one foot while listening to Seungjun explain himself. Though the sight of Jihun that way wasn’t so comforting, Seungjun continued with more confidence. “I feel awful about the bad things that happened to you while we were together, but I’m not sorry.” The taller boy noticed the other stop wavering in place, stiffened at those blunt words. 

But before Jihun could crumble or question him, Seungjun became more assertive, staring straight at the boy whether he returned his gaze or not. “I said I wasn’t going to say sorry to you anymore because I’m done feeling sorry to you and to myself. And honestly, I’m not sorry about the time we spent together at all.” Seungjun exhaled and could feel his chest start to thump harder. “I loved having lunch here, watching you play basketball. I loved going to the library to see you and talking with you, getting food with you, playing games with you. I loved being with you, going out with you, holding hands with you, kissing you.” Seungjun could feel himself going red, breath shallow the faster his feelings fell out from his lips. He couldn’t even look Jihun in the eye anymore and now Seungjun was the one staring at their feet. “I love making you smile and laugh. I love how cute you can be. I love how strong you are. I love  _ you _ .”

Seungjun glanced up quickly, catching Jihun’s stunned look for a brief moment before looking away embarrassed of how open and honest he was being. His chest was pounding like mad while he fingered at some of the pages of the book at his side to ground himself. Quickly, Seungjun stumbled over his words again in order to keep it together, “I-I’m not sure exactly how you feel after everything that’s happened, but I thought you deserved to know how I felt.” Instinct kicking in to protect himself, flight beginning to win over fight, Seungjun spun around and started walking away after adding, “That’s all I wanted to say. You don’t have to deal with me anymore if you don’t want…”

Though Jihun quickly spoke up before he could slip away. “Seriously? If you’re going to confess you should fully commit to it you know…” And just when Seungjun stopped and turned back to make sure he heard right amidst the rustling trees nearby, Jihun had moved right at him, crashing against Seungjun’s chest and grasping his shoulders before he kissed him. Shocked, Seungjun fluttered his eyelids and stared at Jihun until he felt himself quickly melting into the kiss. Shoulders falling slowly, Seungjun shut his eyes and breathed Jihun in. That is, until they both felt the book slip from Seungjun’s fingers and onto Jihun’s foot. 

Luckily it wasn’t a heavy book but it was enough of a disruption for the two boys to break away and look to their feet. Laughing a bit awkwardly to themselves, Seungjun carefully bent over and picked up the book. “Sorry…”

Jihun chuckled with a cheeky grin. “Thought you weren’t going to say that anymore?”

Seungjun smirked to himself from below before tucking the book under his arm. Rising up, Seungjun met with Jihun’s gaze and suddenly went for Jihun’s lips again, kissing upward at him and winning a surprised little hum from the other. That definitely made up for the small jab the kid had just taken at him. Smiling into the kiss, Seungjun stood straight and slid his hands around Jihun’s hips. It felt so good to finally touch him again, Seungjun thought as their lips were locked for some time. It was only when they both felt some more raindrops starting to fall on their cheeks that they broke apart again. 

Jihun looked up at the sky, hiding his flushed cheeks from Seungjun’s eyes under the guise of observing the weather. “Guess we should get out of here before it starts pouring…”

“Together?” Seungjun asked softly, still doubtful despite their kisses just earlier.

Jihun eyed the other again before grinning wide. He didn’t say anything, but at this point he didn’t need to. Seungjun was just glad he got to see a breathtaking smile like that again. Grinning himself, Seungjun lit up when he remembered something and dug into his pocket. Mumbling to himself, he pulled out something as they both started off toward the door back inside. “Well if that’s the case, I think you’ll need this back.” Holding out the bracelet he’d gotten back from Haeryeong, Seungjun beamed at Jihun who stared at it in awe. “I was a little upset you didn’t have it, but I managed to find it.” He definitely wasn’t going to tell Jihun about where he even got it from or how Haeryeong had taken it out of spite, at least not now, because all he cared about at that moment was Jihun. Seungjun pulled open the door, watching Jihun as he slid the bracelet over his thin wrist and eyed it with a small, sheepish grin across his face. Seungjun thought himself lucky he realized it was in his pocket on the bus ride over, otherwise he wasn’t sure he’d enjoy holding Jihun’s hand, both with their matching bracelets on, down the hall nearly as much.

“By the way, since we’re back together again… well, we are, right?” Seungjun clarified with the few remains of anxiety coursing through all his nerves. 

Though, Jihun scoffed and raised a brow, dumbfounded. “Why do you think I’d kiss you if I didn’t want to be with you again?” He asked rhetorically, but Seungjun merely shrugged and faked an ego.

“Because you just love how great of a kisser I am.” When Jihun elbowed him harshly at that cocky comment, the two laughed a bit and Seungjun got to the real question. “Well since we’re dating again, could I stay at your place tonight?”

Jihun slowed his pace and stared wide-eyed at the other. “You mean… overnight?”

However Seungjun was ignorant to the implication and slowed down as well, finding it odd how Jihun reacted. “Yeah, Youjin brought his whole family down for the weekend and I don’t have a bed to sleep in.” Then he smirked, “Why? You thought I meant something else?”

When he started getting cheeky about it, Jihun frowned with a slight pout, fastening their pace again. Seungjun found it all too endearing. “You’re the one who was talking about kissing and then staying at my place all night.” He muttered and Seungjun held back a laugh.

Catching up to the boy, Seungjun swung their hands slightly and curled his fingers between Jihun’s. “Well if you’re so disappointed about it then we can kiss at your place too.” The boy chimed and enjoyed how easily he was getting to the kid, noting the red tint in his ears right away. They joked around some more all the way out the gym and down the street, Jihun’s fingers curled around Seungjun’s in return all the while. At least, until it started raining and they both struggled to cover their heads until a bus came.

Seungjun never hated crowds more than he did at this moment. He was stuck in a swarm of men and women all with the same blue polyester robes draped over their bodies in such unflattering ways. Since Seungjun was so tall, his robe was even bigger than most and yet it still only came to around his knees. He looked like an idiot but at least he was glad everyone else looked just about as ridiculous as he did too. Swinging his tassel out of his face for the tenth time, the boy looked all around between the little clusters of friends hanging around and taking photos and the families coddling their children to death out of pride. Then he got a tap on his shoulder and quickly spun around to find Dahye behind him. He hadn’t seen the girl since the party, but now that Seungjun had made up with Jihun and the tension between the both of them had time to cool down, Dahye seemed to treat him nearly the same as she always had. At least that’s what he got from the sharp jab to his shoulder from her fist and the little giggle that followed after.

“You look lost!” She shouted over the crowd though quickly realized it wasn’t as loud as she thought it’d be and toned it down. Maybe she was just a little too excited from everything great that’d happened that day. “I can’t find anyone except you. You stuck out like a sore thumb.” She joked and held her hand above her head to reference his height. If anything it seemed like Seungjun at least would find everyone he was looking for by acting as a beacon. And maybe that’s why the girl clung to him now and looked all around the crowd.

“I see you managed to look good despite these ugly robes.” Seungjun kept up the conversation and grinned sweetly at her.

Blinking back, Dahye took a step back and pinched the sides of her robe, stretching it out and looking down over it all before cocking her head to the side. “You think?” Though quickly her attention was stolen away from Seungjun and their clothes to Yuji and Jihun as they found the two.

Yuji was the most ecstatic, practically jumping for joy as she approached both of them and flashed a big smile at Seungjun. “Congrats! I’m glad you didn’t trip on the steps.” She joked and Seungjun frowned. He’d fortunately almost forgotten about his slight fumbling when his name was called until she brought it up again. Though before he could even say anything, she turned her attention to Dahye beside her and cooed, holding her hand tight. Leaning in and kissing her sweetly, Yuji pulled back after a moment and gazed back. “I’m so proud of you! I’m going to take you out later, okay?” She pushed some of Dahye’s hair back behind the girl’s ear while Seungjun stared dumbfounded.

Lost in his thoughts, he hardly realized they were talking to him and Jihun when Yuji waved to them both before walking off, “Let’s all go out later tonight! You better come!” She called back constantly and sounded pretty determined about their next night out as a group while seungjun stood there frozen in confusion. Had they… this whole time…

“You still there?” Jihun snapped his fingers next to Seungjun’s ear and caught his attention, bringing him back to reality. Chuckling to himself at how stupefied the guy looked, Jihun asked, “What’s up with that look?”

Seungjun looked from Jihun then toward the girls who were lost in the crowd once again, mumbling, “Are Yuji and Dahye…”

As the guy trailed off, Jihun caught on to what he was getting at and raised a brow. Laughing almost incredulously, the kid looked Seungjun up and down in wonder. “You mean you really didn’t notice? They’ve been dating for months!” He held back all laughter as to not embarrass his boyfriend, though it was a struggle. “Why do you think we all went out as a group all the time? They’re a thing… and we’re a thing.”

“Why didn’t you say anything before?” Seungjun furrowed his brows and asked rather loudly, flustered at the realization he was the only one who never realized Dahye and Yuji had been dating the whole time he’d known them.

Jihun smirked and busied himself with moving Seungjun’s tassel out of his face again. “You know for someone dating a guy you’re pretty dense about this stuff huh?” Seungjun honestly wanted to pinch him or nudge him for that comment, but didn’t want to risk swatting Jihun’s hand away from doting on him. It was such a simple notion but it gave him an excuse to focus on something else that wasn’t how ignorant he’d been to his friends’ relationship. It made him feel helplessly good inside when Jihun took care of him like that.

When Jihun finished the boy met Seungjun’s gaze and the two found themselves just standing there for a moment, staring and smiling to themselves. For a brief moment Seungjun wanted to lean in like Yuji had earlier and kiss Jihun just for being there, but he quickly stopped himself when he spotted someone else in the crowd and lit up. “Mom!” He grinned wide and Jihun watched with quiet interest while Seungjun moved forward for a big hug that practically enveloped his tiny mother. She cooed and brushed Seungjun’s back, then his face as she got a good look at him again. Quickly a younger boy came out from the crowd and hugged Seungjun too. It was clear that this was Seungjun’s family and he seemed like a whole different person with them, like a giant child.

“You guys made it in time right?” Seungjun asked like an overenthusiastic puppy.

“Of course! Who do you take me for?” His mother chided him and swatted at his shoulder, using her thumb to clean his face up when Seungjun’s little brother had approached Jihun.

“You’re Seungjun’s friend right?” The boy stared intently at Jihun until Seungjun took notice and stood beside his friend with an annoyed look on his face.

“Do you have to interrogate my friends?” Seungjun groaned.

The boy rolled his eyes and scoffed, “I barely even know who your friends are let alone interrogate them.” Turning back to Jihun, he looked the guy up and down, hands in his coat pockets. “So what’s your name and how did you meet my brother?”

Seungjun sighed while Jihun laughed awkwardly. Scratching at the back of his neck, Jihun glanced at the boy next to him before answering, “Um, well I’m Kim Jihun. We just met at the library…” He wasn’t sure what to say, but luckily Seungjun stepped in and whined some more at his brother.

“There you go, now would you stop being weird?” Usually Seungjun was the type to brag about his little brother nonstop, but today was just strange. His brother was being oddly suspicious judging by the intense stare he had toward Jihun.

“You’re Seungjun’s friend?” The guy’s mother soon interrupted and beamed at Jihun. Seungjun felt himself slowly dying of embarrassment.

“I’m Kim Jihun, Mrs. Park.” Jihun answered much more politely and the woman nearly squealed.

She swatted at Seungjun’s arm again and scolded him. “Why didn’t you ever tell me you had such a sweet friend. He’s so handsome too!” She cooed and giggled at Jihun who just found everything amusing. Jihun laughed at Seungjun being hit by his mother’s smaller yet feistier hands but held it back when the guy glared at him. “You should come out with us for lunch!” She proposed to the boy and quickly looked to Seungjun. “Your father’s busy dealing with the car so we were going to meet him for lunch out together, to celebrate.” She smiled wide, almost identical to how Seungjun would grin when he was excited about something.

Though Jihun shyly hesitated. “Oh I don’t want to get in the way… You probably want to be alone since it’s been awhile right?” He looked to Seungjun for some backup but the mother was too quick to answer for him.

“It’s no trouble at all! You’re his friend, we love meeting Seungjun’s friends!” She chimed and clung onto the boy’s arm, pulling him along and rambling on some more about Seungjun and some embarrassing secrets he’d never imagined Jihun would have to hear on just their second official day together.

Seungjun groaned to himself overhearing some of the things she was saying and started after them, joined by his brother who stuck by his side. To Seungjun’s surprise, the boy leaned in and stated quietly, “I don’t know if I like him yet but I trust you.”

Seungjun flashed him a bewildered look while their steps soon matched in pace, slipping between the crowds of people. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell Mom or Dad. You can do that.” Then his brother snickered to himself and let go to run ahead. Though not before adding a snide remark, “You’re lucky they don’t know how to use Facebook!” Seungjun stopped frozen when he realized what he meant. His brother knew that he was with Jihun. As he caught up with the rest of his family however, Seungjun didn’t mind that he knew. It was just surprising. He could trust his brother and though he wasn’t quite ready to tell his parents, he was now plenty prepared to wail on his brother if he said something weird to Jihun.

“Cheers!” Yuji yelled out for what was likely the third time since they’d gotten to this bar. The girl’s cheeks were flushed and she was fidgeting in her stool, showing some pretty obvious signs of drunkenness and yet still trying to down a pint of beer. That is, until Seungjun reached out and cupped the top of the glass, pulling it away from her before she blacked out or worse. “Oh come on Seungjun! That’s not fair!” She whined like he’d never heard before and everyone at the table giggled at her behavior. They’d never seen Yuji of all people act like this before. If anyone always had it together when they went drinking it was the prim and proper Yuji. Yet here she was, sprawled out halfway across the table trying to steal back her drink before Dahye had her sit up and calm down again. No one blamed her for it though, she was just the most excited person that night, one of her friends and her own girlfriend having graduated earlier that day.

Seungjun smiled as he sipped at his own drink. He’d resigned to not drinking so much that night. He was happy and excited after everything that happened earlier; graduating college, introducing Jihun to his family, albeit as a good friend, having some great lunch for free, and now having a few drinks on Jihun and Yuji. He was happy enough that he didn’t need to get as drunk as the girl across from him to prove it. Rather, he wanted to be able to wake up the next morning and remember this night for how great it felt, and especially for how wonderful it was to have Jihun there next to him. 

As Seungjun glanced over, he grinned behind his glass. The kid looked so bright and relaxed, even in just a simple t-shirt and jeans he was radiant in the spot beside him. Soon Jihun caught on and chuckled, “What are you staring at? Did I spill some?” The boy put his drink down and checked over his shirt, unsure of where the spill might’ve been.

Though, Seungjun swiftly put his own glass down and reached out. “You didn’t spill it but you got some sauce here…” Using his thumb, the taller boy swiped at the corner of Jihun’s lips and wiped away some dark sauce from the food they were sharing at the table. The girls cooed as they watched then laughed to themselves, whispering to each other in tipsy rambling while Jihun hunched over the table and looked away bashfully. Seungjun wasn’t trying to show off or anything this time, and Jihun seemed to know that just as well. It was just natural and Jihun had been through so much he started to become more comfortable with being somewhat affectionate in public. The kid was probably getting used to the idea that Seungjun was there for him now and that it was okay to open up a bit more.

Seungjun’s pocket buzzed and the boy looked away. Pulling his phone out, he checked the messages he’d gotten from Youjin and sighed softly.

> _ “Hey you’re not staying out late are you?” _
> 
> _ “Where are you anyway? You haven’t talked to me since yesterday.” _
> 
> _ “You’re not out with any weird people are you?” _

Seungjun chortled to himself at the thought. Looking around the table he was at, he nodded to himself in agreement. He was definitely hanging out with some weirdos alright. Still, Seungjun was a bit annoyed at Youjin being so overprotective again. If he was going to bombard him with questions like some overbearing mother he could at least keep it to one message without spamming him.

Typing up a response, Seungjun reassured him he was going to be okay for the rest of the night.

> _ “I’m fine, out with friends.” _
> 
> _ “Don’t wait up for me I’ll be at Jihun’s for the weekend while your family’s here.” _

It wasn’t long before he got an answer back and the boy frowned when he read it:

> _ “Oh…” _
> 
> _ “Just make sure you use protection okay?” _

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Did he really think Seungjun was as dirty as he was? He’d never even seriously considered sleeping with Jihun. Not that he didn’t  _ want _ to, because Jihun surely was attractive in that aspect, but he wanted to give it time. He didn’t want to rush things anymore and screw things up like he used to so often. Whenever Jihun was ready maybe he’d be ready too, but for now Seungjun was going to take things slow.

Letting out another annoyed sigh, Jihun poked his head over in interest. “Is that your mom?” He asked before finishing off his pint

Seungjun quickly shook his head and tucked his phone away before the guy could see any of the messages more clearly. He didn’t need Jihun to know Youjin thought they were already sleeping together. “It was just Youjin asking about family stuff.”

“Oh.” Jihun nodded and fingered the handle of the empty glass in front of him. “That’s good. I don’t know how many more questions I could take from your family, to be honest. I was worried they didn’t like me because I didn’t know how to answer some of them.” He laughed it off, but Seungjun instantly denied it.

“No! They loved you!” Seungjun calmed down when he realized how flustered his loudness made the boy. Clearing his throat, he smiled soft and explained, “Seriously, if anything they were on my ass for not mentioning you at all.” Seungjun gleamed, “Even if they did somehow hate you, which they’d never, I’d still like you just the same.”

“Thanks…” Jihun tried hiding his pleased smile, but Seungjun easily noticed. 

At least, until he realized Yuji had stolen his pint and was trying to drink the rest of it when he wasn’t looking. Nearly falling out of his seat to rip it out of her hands, Dahye clapped and laughed at the sight while Yuji kept an incredible grip on the glass. After finally peeling it from her fingers, Seungjun pushed it away out of reach and sat back down on the stool, exasperated. 

“At least she probably won’t remember any of this tomorrow.” Seungjun joked to the boy next to him, looking away from Yuji while she begged pathetically for just one more sip. Jihun nodded then jumped when Seungjun lit up once he remembered something. “Oh right! I wanted to take a photo!” He beamed at Jihun and pulled his phone out again, opening his camera while Jihun struggled to understand his thought process. Seungjun explained, “It’d be something nice to remember. Plus I wanted a photo from today where I look normal, not dressed in some giant parachute of a robe.”

Jihun giggled at that and looked from Seungjun to the phone he was holding out in front of himself. “Want me to take it for you?”

Seungjun blinked and looked back at him confused. “I thought we’d take one together.” He laughed, “Those old ones we did are too awkward to look at now.” The taller boy cringed before scooting closer to the boy next to him. Holding the phone out in front of them both, Seungjun leaned in close so they’d both fit into frame, grinning wide once he started counting down, “Three… Two…” Jihun had moved around a bit to get a better position, though right as Seungjun said “One”, the boy quickly turned his face to Seungjun’s and kissed the guy’s cheek. The photo snapped and Seungjun held his cheek, hiding any tints of red that might’ve risen up, pulling back his phone to check the photo. There they were: Seungjun smiling bright while Jihun kissed his cheek, lips curved somewhat into a smile from the camera’s delay and the boy’s shyness. Seungjun couldn’t stop grinning at the photo.

“Should we take some more?” Jihun was leaning over looking at the photo as well when Seungjun had looked up. He was surely embarrassed by his abrupt, forward actions, but Seungjun didn’t want him to feel that way for something he enjoyed just as much. 

Opening his camera again, he leaned closer toward Jihun. “As many as you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this is it. it's over. it's been a wild ride that's taken over a year because i'm slow as hell but it's finally over. i hope i was able to make it so u don't hate any characters by the end because i didn't want to make anyone the real villain of the story. for someone who's not great at socializing i wanted to try writing people as people, like they're all complex ig?? lol not sure if the confession scene was exactly how i imagined it to be a year ago but it is what it is and it works i think so i'll leave it that way haha
> 
> oh yeah all the titles for the chapters have been from songs by the band thursday. idk i always just choose a random artist i like and use their discog to name chapters lol the music itself doesn't rly have anything to do with this story. it's kinda emo music lmao
> 
> thanks for all the comments and messages and words of encouragement. i've never written something this long before, especially for a romance story, but it was fun and worth it because of all the positive things you've all sent me.


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